Randomosity

what they did next was then have everyone leave the room, but be watching behind one-way glass, and observe which toys the children would choose when they didn’t think they were being watched. a lot of children would play with any toy, regardless of which gender it was “meant” for.  they had no problem with it.  but they were aware of the fact that adults and other people had a problem with it.  they had already learned what they were “supposed” to do, despite the fact they didn’t seem to honestly care.  just as long as they thought they weren’t being watched and wouldn’t get in trouble for not playing with the “right” toys… which in itself says something

basically it supported the idea that children internalize gender roles at a young age, are aware of them, and it isn’t innately something a certain gender prefers over the other (or someone with one type of genitals innately prefers, as most people correlate gender with genitals, especially regarding a child. so it seems logical to assume it’s unrelated)

Here’s one of the reasons I don’t buy the cynical interpretation that Ariel gives up her identity for a man.

This screencap comes from her introductory scene. She’s searching through a shipwreck for human artifacts–which is her passion–when suddenly she’s attacked by a shark.

While fleeing, she accidentally drops her bag full of artifacts right in the shark’s path. Without hesitating, she chooses her passion over her safety, risking her life for a dinglehopper.

The girl is an anthropologist who studies humans. That’s her passion, that’s how she spends her time…that’s her identity.

Sure, Eric is the catalyst that leads Ariel to changing her species and leaving her family–he certainly intensifies her feelings–but they’re feelings she already has, and they dictate most of her life.

I love you all. Your lives are valuable. There are still a lot of people out in the world who love you. 

Please, please, please, stay strong. Now is the time to fight back and show that we won’t be erased.

happy flying boy

water feminist 

cool jokes man

angsty fire dude

chill uncle (lowkey badass)

strong fight child

animal fren

lorge animal fren

the moon

i was emotionally abused in school as a small child, but strongly supported and validated at home; as a result, instead of coming to believe i deserved to be dehumanized and scapegoated, i developed a reactive stubbornnes where everyone who hasn’t earned my trust over a course of years is on probation and everything they say has to pass a gamut of skeptical analysis.

now, don’t get me wrong, this has caused a lot of problems for me in my life. my intimacy issues are breathtakingly bad. BUT it does have the followiing benefit: abusers testing for victim potential push me once, then run like hell.

what occurs to me after reading about the way abusers systematically erode your boundaries and use the frog-boiling method to make abuse seem normal, is that the general public could perhaps benefit from my experience, and learn that there is a simple first line of defense against abusers:

politely refuse the first request a new friend or date makes of you.

that’s it. that’ll weed out a whole lot of the assholes without you ever having to lift a finger to eject them. decent people will accept your refusal – they might be a little confused or hurt, but they won’t PUSH – and abusers will either show their true colors, or run like the cowards they are.

now, it might take a bit of cleverness to refuse the literally first request if it’s something like ‘please pass the salt’ that no sensible person would ever refuse, but if your hands are conveniently buttery you can do it. otherwise, wait for the first actual favor that requires effort, or just bluff it out – give them a cheerful nope and watch how they react.