Friendofkurt

Summary: A slight accident leads to snuggles. Fluff!

Word count: 2218 words

The team was assembled in the living room watching a movie together. Everyone had returned from their various Christmas holidays over the last few days and now only one person was missing. You. You had texted the group chat a couple of days ago saying you were going to be stuck at home a few more days and since then no one had heard from you. Bucky was trying to concentrate on the movie playing on the obnoxiously large TV but he was having trouble focusing on Mulan’s journey. His thoughts kept circling back to you and what could possibly be keeping you away. Wanda had mentioned that perhaps you had rekindled an old romance with your high school sweetheart whom you had made plans to see over Christmas, and Bucky’s heart clenched at the thought. You had been with the team for nearly a year now, but it hadn’t taken more than a few months for Bucky to fall head over heels in love with you. Only you didn’t know that. No one did. Or so he thought. The entire team had their own more or less firm suspicions of Bucky’s feelings for you, but they each kept them to themselves, and the only one who seemed oblivious was you. Steve was worried that you weren’t really oblivious, but that you didn’t feel the same and was just trying to let Bucky down easy, Nat was planning a wicked way of getting you and Bucky together, Wanda sweetly hoped that love would prevail in the end and Tony and Bruce left it to you guys to figure it out, keeping busy in the labs.

Bucky was just thinking about how they would probably get a text soon saying that you had decided to stay to hang out some more with your old “friend” (boyfriend, Bucky inwardly grumbled, inadvertently making such a grumpy face at the thought that Wanda was convinced that he hated Mulan) when they heard the door to the elevator ding and someone making their way down the hall. Everyone turned around to see who was coming. They weren’t expecting anyone but the floor was only accessible to so many people and most of them were piled on the massive couch already.

You rounded the corner with a big, slightly self-conscious smile on your face. Everyone gasped and exclaimed all at once at the sight of you. There was a massive bruise, blue and purple, around your left eye, your left eyebrow was split and two strips of tape were holding it together, and when you discarded your jacket you revealed your left arm covered in a cast. “Hi guys,” you said sheepishly as Wanda, Bruce, Tony and Steve came to you to look over your injuries and ask what happened. Bucky was still sitting on the couch, stunned at the sight of you hurt. Nat was perched on the recliner observing Bucky carefully, unbeknownst to him. “I’m fine, guys,” you insisted as Wanda carefully led you to the couch and everyone settled in again, Mulan forgotten on the TV. You ended up next to Bucky and gave him a quick smile. He was still too caught up in looking you over to make sure you really were fine to react. You turned around again to the others, everyone clamoring to know what happened. “Well…” you hedged, a blush rising to your cheeks, “it was just an accident.” “What kind of accident,” Tony probed, sensing there was a good story there on account of the blush. You hesitated, but everyone was looking at you expectantly. “”Canoe….” you mumbled. “A canoe accident? In winter?” Steve asked incredulously, while Tony threw up a big laugh and said “This I gotta hear!” You looked around almost desperately but it was clear no one was going to let up before you told the story. So you did.

You and your brother had been dragged to a party at some of your parents’ friends and it was immensely boring. So you had made a drinking game out of it, taking a shot every time someone said something inappropriate. Needless to say you had both gotten drunk very quickly and when you went into the backyard to cool off and sober up (and maybe just to contemplate whether the rose bushes could use some fertilizer, courtesy of the vodka roiling in your stomach) you had come across a canoe. There was a hill just beyond the backyard which was altogether too tempting, and you and your brother had managed to drag the canoe up there before sobering up enough to realize how bad this idea was. You realized that about halfway down the hill when the canoe hit a tree root and went off road. Next thing you knew you were in the bushes cradling a broken arm with your brother hurling out the contents of his stomach all together too close to you. “So I had to stay in the hospital for observation for a concussion for a few days, which is why I couldn't come back before,” you finished looking around at your friends. Steve looked like he just wanted to facepalm, Wanda tried to hide her laugh, Tony didn’t, Bruce just shook his head as he checked your eyebrow to make sure the plaster was still stuck and Nat was inscrutable as usual. Bucky was still as a stone next to you and you decided to turn to him to move things along from your embarrassing story. “So what are we watching?” you asked settling into the couch next to him, grabbing a blanket and throwing it over the two of you. “Umm..,” Bucky mumbled, glancing back at the screen, completely at a loss. “Mulan,” Wanda supplied as everyone started to settle in on the couch again, “we can rewind it and start over again if you want,” she offered. “No,no, I can just jump in here, no worries,” you said, snuggling down. Truth be told you were tired from the journey and had a bit of a headache, so you were happy enough to settle in on the couch and not paying too much attention to anything. Bucky felt you snuggle into his side and he did his best to not seem like he noticed it. The entire team was very tactile with each other, always touching in one way or another, and Bucky enjoyed the gentle touches littered throughout the day. It was a far cry from his days with Hydra when every touch brought pain. But he still hadn’t figured out how to act when you touched him. Your hands left warm imprints on his skin and tingles up and down his spine and he enjoyed it far too much, so he tried to stay away from you without it seeming obvious that that was what he was doing. But there was no escaping it tonight. As the movie wore on he felt you sinking deeper and deeper into the couch and leaning more and more into him, finally resting your head on his shoulder and falling asleep. He sat stock-still in order not to disturb you, and Natascha almost had trouble keeping the smirk off her face. Almost. As the movie ended she casually suggested continuing with another one. “Uhh, we can watch Frozen!” Wanda exclaimed happily and immediately put it on. “Not for me, I’m out,” Tony exclaimed and got up from the couch, heading to the labs. “Me too,” Bruce said softly, “I’m heading to bed. Goodnight everyone.” Steve and Wanda wished him goodnight, and “Frozen” started playing. When Bruce left, a spot on the couch opened up next to you, and stirring, you stretched your legs out and your head slid down over Bucky’s chest to land in his lap. You gave a contented sigh, a little stretch and fell back asleep. Natascha smiled, Steve glanced at Bucky and Wanda was wrapped up in Elsa’s story.

When “Frozen” ended Wanda got up with a yawn and a stretch and said goodnight to everyone. Natascha suggested another movie and Steve squinted his eyes at her suspiciously. She raised an eyebrow at him, throwing a look at you and Bucky on the couch. He had moved his hand to your back keeping the blanket in place over your shoulder and you were still fast asleep in his lap. Bucky still sat completely still in order not to jostle you and wake you up. Steve gave Natascha a little smile and said “Sure. We never did get around to “Rapunzel” the other night.” He settled in again as Natascha put on the movie. It wasn’t long before Nat declared she wanted a drink. “You want something, Bucky?” she asked as she got up. “Um, some milk, please?” he said, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the situation. “Sure,” Nat said easily, “give me a hand Steve?” “Sure,” he said and got up and the two of them left for the kitchen. It was almost 20 minutes before Bucky realized they weren’t coming back. He craned his neck looking for them but they were nowhere to be seen. He was trapped under your sleeping form and while he secretly enjoyed being this close to you without the pressure of having to talk to you, he figured he should wake you up and get you to bed.

He started gently shaking your shoulder and you started stirring. “No…” you mumbled sleepily turning your face into his thigh. “Come on, Y/N, you have to wake up. You need to go to bed,” he said gently, stroking your back. “No…” you repeated, but you sounded a little more awake. You snuggled into his lap again and he brushed your hair out of your face. You seemed to be drifting off again so he tried again. “Come on now, wake up for me, don’t you want to go to bed?” he coaxed. You grumbled, rubbing your face on his thigh. You accidentally rubbed your bruise against his thigh and that woke you up. “Ugh..” you groaned groggily, slowly sitting up, cradling your face. You looked so disgruntled at the entire situation but Bucky thought he had never seen you look cuter. You were eyeing his lap again, so he decided to get up before you could settle in again. You looked so disappointed that Bucky couldn’t help smiling at you. “Come on,” he said, gently pulling your good arm to get you off the couch. You reluctantly stood up bringing the blanket with you, keeping it secure around your shoulders awkwardly with your broken arm. Instead of getting up and going to your room, you leaned into Bucky and snuggled against his chest. He stiffened for just a second but then he put his arms around you and indulged in your sleepy scent for just a moment. You mumbled something against his chest. “What was that?” he asked, taking you by the shoulders and holding you out from him so he could hear you as you repeated it.

“JARVIS counts as a person right?” you asked. “What?” he asked, confused. What was going through your mind for you to ask this now. “JARVIS,” you repeated, “he counts right? I’m not supposed to sleep alone. The doctor said so.” You leaned into his chest against, seemingly content to fall asleep right there. Bucky looked around for help, but the two of you were alone. He was pretty sure JARVIS didn’t count as a person, which left him to make sure you didn’t sleep alone. He briefly considered waking Nat or Wanda, but he was pretty sure Nat would kill him and Wanda needed her sleep. She wasn’t sleeping too great these days, so Bucky didn’t want to disturb her. It was up to him.

He gently guided you down the hall to your room, deciding he would sleep on the floor next to your bed to keep an eye on you. He turned on the fairy lights you had strung around your headboard and pulled back the covers to tuck you in. You obediently crawled into bed and seemed to settle in quickly. He reached over you to grab one of the extra pillows, but as he did so you took a hold of his hand and turned over snuggling his arm underneath you. He tried pulling away gently but that made you frown and tighten your grip on his arm, so he decided to lay down behind you and let you snuggle his arm until you fell properly asleep, at which point he would make his exit and head to the floor. The way you gripped onto his arm he had no choice but to snuggle up close to you, spooning the length of your body with his. You made a contented noise and Bucky allowed himself a little smile as he breathed into your neck and settled in. He would extract himself as soon as you were fast asleep.

WEDNESDAY

The next day was Wednesday and Anna was struggling to get out of bed due to her sore muscles. She gently did a few stretches to try and warm up and get the kinks out, but she wasn’t sure it really helped any. Her mom had cleaned her room and it was starting to really come together. The furniture and the new paint job was on point, and all Anna was missing was a few pieces of art to hang on the wall and some knick knacks. But she didn’t mind this. She was excited to start collecting things that really mattered to her and finding just the right pieces. She was looking forward to that process and wouldn’t mind if it took a little while. As she was getting ready for school she thought she could bring the collage home again. Her mom was done in her room, so she wouldn’t find it, and while Anna wasn’t planning on putting it on display she would feel better knowing it was safely tucked away in her bedroom closet, rather than her locker at school.

TUESDAY

MONDAY

SUNDAY On Sunday morning Anna met Elsie at the square and they headed for the cafe together. It was still an hour or so before the cafe opened, and they knocked on the door for Andy to let them in. “Welcome,” he said with a big smile as he led them into the empty cafe. “Let’s first get the chairs and tables ready and then I will show you the coffee maker and the cash register, ok?” The girls nodded, unloading their jackets and bags in the small staff room behind the counter. They set about getting everything ready, placing candles on the tables, filling up the napkin holders and wiping the tables down, directed by Andy who was busy filling up the display case with cookies and cakes. When that was done he showed them how to work all the machines behind the desk and where everything was located, from the cookie plates to the first aid kit. It was a lot to take in and Anna was feeling a little overwhelmed. Maybe this job had been a bad idea after all. For a shy introvert maybe customer service wasn’t the right career choice. Andy went to the kitchen to get out a fresh batch of cookies and Anna took a deep breath that was shakier than she had hoped. Maybe she could quit. Before the cafe flooded with customers and she would have to talk to them. There would be no harm done. Elsie would still work here, and Andy didn’t even have to pay her for the little time she had spent. Just as Anna was deciding which would be worse, telling Andy she quit or dealing with customers, Elsie came up to her and gave her arm a squeeze. “You okay?” she asked, “you look a little green. You’re not going to vomit on the cookies are you?” “Maybe this was a bad idea,” Anna blurted, “you know how I am dealing with people I don’t know. It’s so awkward and I hate it. I don’t know why I wanted to do this.” Anna was starting to almost panic, but Elsie grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her square in the eye saying “hey! You wanted to do this because it’s going to be so much fun working with your bestie and eating all the cookies we want. Besides if you want I can handle the customers and you can work the coffee machine and clear the tables, okay?” Anna took another deep breath trying to calm down. Elsie had helped a little, and she figured she could always give it try. If it truly was terrible she would just have to quit after the day was finished. Just as Anna was slowing her breathing and and steeling herself to meet the day (and the customers) Andy came back from the kitchen with a big batch of warm delicious cookies. “So girls, are you ready?” he asked. Elsie gave Anna a pointed look and she nodded and gave Andy what she hoped was an assertive smile. “Great,” Andy said happily. He didn’t seem to notice how tense Anna was, more focused on presenting the cookies in the display case. When he was satisfied he took one of them, split it in three and gave one piece to each of the girls. “Here’s to a great first day,” he said and they bonked the cookies together in a toast. Anna bit into her piece and the taste of hot gooey chocolate eased her soul just a little. “Let’s open up,” Andy said, walking to the door to turn the “closed” sign to “open" and unlocking the door to let in customers. A single harassed looking man in a suit was waiting to be let in and he hurried up to the counter to deliver his order of a large coffee, black, to Elsie, who had self-assuredly placed herself behind the desk. Anna took out a to-go cup, took a deep steadying breath and filled up the man’s order. She then handed it to Elsie, who was accepting payment from the man, and just like that they had served their first customer. Andy was hovering by some tables, pretending to be wiping them down, but really keeping an eye on the girls in case they needed help. When the customer had left he gave them a smile and said “Well done.” It was small praise, but Anna took it to heart, feeling like she HAD done well, and that she could keep doing well. She relaxed a little and let some of the tension ease out of her body. During the morning a few customers came in and the girls quickly established a routine where Elsie talked to them and Anna filled the orders behind the counter. Towards lunch time it became busier and Andy joined them behind the counter. He didn’t seem to mind their routine and the three of them quickly figured out how to work together without getting in each other’s way in the small space behind the counter. Anna was gaining confidence and when Elsie had to go pee, she took over her place at the front with only a minor rise in heartbeat. Her first customer luckily turned out to be easy, just a small black coffee and a cookie to go, and soon Anna was dealing with customers like it was no big deal. When things slowed down Andy sent Elsie to clean up the tables and do a bit of washing in the kitchen, while he went to the office to do some paperwork and Anna stayed behind the counter alone. During the influx of customers there had been a few times when the girls were stumped and had to ask Andy for help. Luckily almost all the customers had been nice about it and the problems had been fixed without too much fuss. Anna had been worried about things not going smoothly, and what she would do if a problem occurred. The few incidences during the day had shown her that the problems were not too big and most could easily be handled. That gave her even more confidence and she thought she wouldn’t have to quit at the end of the day after all. She might even end up enjoying the work, even though it was taxing for her, putting a strain on her limited social skills. She decided she would stay on. It would be good practice for real life, give her some actual work experience, she would make some money and she would get used to dealing with people. Even the few who were not very nice, when their favorite cookie was sold out or the coffee was too hot.

Elsie returned from her duties in the kitchen and said that Andy wanted to talk to Anna. “Just about the shifts I think,” she added when Anna nervously asked why. She thought he might think she sucked and wanted to fire her, but Elsie’s words calmed her down. She entered the small office/staff room where Andy was sitting surrounded by paper work and cook books. “Hey Anna. How’re you doing out there?” he asked quickly glancing up from the papers he was shuffling around. “Um, okay I think,” said Anna, hesitantly. She thought he might feel otherwise and was about to tell her so. But instead he finished shuffling the papers and looked up at her smiling. “I think so too,” he said. Anna breathed a covert sigh of relief. Now that she had survived most of her first day, she found she really wanted to stay on. “I was talking with Elsie about shifts,” Andy continued, finding a piece of paper from the stack, “I think what would be best would be steady shifts and then the two of you can switch between you if necessary.” He looked to Anna for confirmation and she gave a small nod. He asked a few questions about which days would be best for her, and soon after she left the office with her new work schedule.

SATURDAY

Anna woke up early Saturday morning, feeling like this was the beginning of a new era. She felt like she had cemented her friendship with Will, Elsie was still by her side after her break with the popular group, and standing up to Matt the day before felt like she was really coming into the person she wanted to be, the one she had presented on the collage. Thinking of the collage, she gave a contented sigh. That was over and done with, and she was pretty sure she was going to pass at least. Since her mom had cleaned her room, Anna had all day to herself. She didn’t have too much homework, so she decided to get in some roller blading before settling down to work. The sun was out and the weather was beautiful. After a quick breakfast she laced up her roller blades and thought she might go to see Will. His house was a good distance away so she would get a good workout in, and she liked having an end goal, rather than just going around town aimlessly. She set off, and was soon enjoying the sun on her face and the wind in her hair. She quickly settled into a rhythm, and was making good headway towards Will’s house, when her phone rang. It was tucked in her pocket, tracking her route and speed. She thought it couldn’t hurt to get more serious about her roller blading if she was really going to be part of the derby team. When the ringtone cut off her music, she stopped to fish the phone out of her pocket. It was an unknown number calling and Anna silently debated whether or not to pick it up. She hated talking to people she didn’t know on the phone. The ringing was stressing her out too though and finally she decided to just pick it up. She could always pretend to go through a tunnel and loose the connection if it turned out to be telemarketing. “Hello?” she said hesitantly. “Hi, Anna? This is Andy,” a male voice said on the other end. Anna breathed a sigh of relief. “Hi Andy, yeah, it’s me,” she said. She wondered why he was calling. “Are you still interested in that job?” he asked, answering her unspoken question. “Job?” Anna said hesitantly. She had completely forgotten all about filling out the application to work for Andy at Green Beans, what will all the drama going on at school. But she figured why not. She could use a job to finance her decoration of the new room. Her allowance was only going to get her so far. Meanwhile Andy was explaining that he thought hiring her and Elsie for a few hours each week would be a good decision and give him more time to do paperwork and more importantly invent new cookie recipes. Anna said she would love a job at the cafe, and they agreed that she would start the next day. Sunday mornings were usually pretty slow, most people sleeping in, so she and Elsie could have a nice quiet start to the job, learning all the ropes before being thrown into rush hour.

She hung up and queued up some music for the rest of the trip to Will’s house. She set a good pace and quickly made it to Will’s street. She slowed down in order to catch her breath before rolling up to Will’s doorstep. When she felt like she could talk in coherent sentences again, she let herself in through the small garden gate and knocked on the front door. Will’s dad opened. Anna didn’t know why she hadn’t expected that possibility, but now she quickly breathed “Hi Mr. McKinley. Is Will home?” Will’s dad gave her an appraising look and then something seemed to click, as he recognized her from the study session at Will’s house. “Anna, right?” he said. Anna nodded and he continued “Yeah, Will is just doing some homework. Come on in.” Anna awkwardly entered the door and stooped to take off her roller blades. She didn’t think they would go over well on the carpeted floor in Will’s house. Will’s dad pointed her to Will’s room, shouting “Will, Anna’s here,” before he joined the twins who were sat on the living floor amidst a bunch of toy animals. Anna headed to Will’s room. His door was closed, and he didn’t seem to have heard his father’s shout. Anna felt super awkward standing there in her slightly sweaty socks, not knowing if she should knock on the door or just go through, hoping that he had heard his father announcing her. Before she could start thinking about all the things a teenage boy could be doing behind closed doors, she quickly made up her mind and knocked on the door. It started out a bit feeble, but Anna forced herself to finish more forcefully. “Come in,” she heard Will say. She thought he sounded really down and she hoped she wasn’t the reason. But maybe he wasn’t interested in having his Saturday disturbed by her forcing her company on him. She hesitantly opened the door and saw him sitting by his desk with his head in his hands. “Hey,” she said quietly. He quickly lifted his head, looking at her, surprised. Anna guessed he really hadn’t heard his dad shouting. “Anna,” he said by way of greeting, “what are you doing here? Did Mr. Franson say anything about the project?” She took a step into the room. He did seem surprised to see her, but not like he’d rather she hadn’t come. “No,” she answered, “I haven’t heard anything. I was just out roller blading and thought I’d drop by.” Silence descended as Will seemed to wait for further explanation, and Anna was at a loss for how to continue. Finally she couldn’t stand it anymore and said “so…what are you working on?” Will sighed and turned back to his desk. “Maths,” he said in a dejected voice. Anna carefully stepped closer and took a peek at Will’s paper. It was covered in crossed out calculations and small doodles. The stuff was something Anna’s class had covered a few weeks back and she had gotten a good grade on the assignment. “Do you need help?” she hesitantly asked. She didn’t know if she was going to offend him by indicating she was better at it than him. But he seemed to perk up at the offer. “Do you know this stuff?” he asked hopefully. Anna stepped closer and surveyed the papers more closely. “Yeah, we did this stuff a few weeks ago, so it should still stick in my brain. If you want, I can help you…” she trailed off. Will nodded eagerly. “Yeah, that would be great. I’m no so good in maths and this stuff is way over my head. Here, sit down,” he said getting up off his chair and offering it to Anna, getting a small stool for himself and sitting down next to her. Over the next hour she coached him through the problems, and slowly he was getting better at it. Once they had finished Will looked over his work like he couldn’t believe that he had actually managed it. “Thanks, Anna, I was bound to fail that without your help.” “You’re welcome,” Anna smiled, “I was just returning the favor really. I would totally have failed art without you.” “Yeah…” Will said, turning around to face her. “Lucky you had that extra collage.” Anna blushed thinking that he might have “deciphered” it. He seemed to sense that she was uncomfortable talking about it, so he just said “I liked it.” Anna relaxed and smiled. He turned back to his desk and put his homework carefully in a folder. “I saw the Tumblr logo on there,” he said, trying to sound casual. Anna blushed again. She had put it on there because Tumblr had really helped her figure some stuff out, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to share that with anyone. “Do you have a Tumblr account?” Will asked, still fiddling with his papers. Anna hesitantly replied “Yes…”. “I do too,” Will said and finally turned around to face her again. “What’s your username? Maybe we can follow each other.” When Anna hesitated Will said “Mine’s Katczinsky.” Anna decided to trust Will. There was a whole lot of asexual posts that she had liked and she was following a bunch of people that posted about being LGBTQ+. She figured there was no way he wouldn’t figure it out, once he got on there, but she had to start with someone, and she thought she could trust Will. “Mine’s… Wombat Wallflower,” she finally said, lowering her voice so much she doubted if Will had heard it. “Wombat…?” he looked at her questioningly. “Wallflower,” she finished, blushing yet again. Will must think she had some sort of disorder, with all the blushing she did. She waited for a comment about the cringey username, but Will just scribbled it on a scrap of paper, and looked up at her. Awkwardness descended again, now that they had no maths to distract them. “Well,” Anna said to break the silence. She didn't really know how to follow that, however, but after another few moments of silence Will thankfully said “Do you want something to eat or drink?” Once it was suggested Anna noticed that she was quite thirsty after her rollerblading and said a glass of water would be nice.

They headed for the kitchen, which was fully occupied by Emily, Eric and Mr. McKinley making a mess. “What are you doing?” Will exclaimed faux shocked grabbing Emily and giving her a combined tickle and cuddle. She squealed in delight and Eric showed his hands covered in dough, exclaiming “Cookies!” Will carefully put Emily down again and managed to extract a glass of water out of the chaos. He handed it to Anna, who proceeded to down it, partly because she was thirsty, partly because she had no idea what to say to the crowd in the kitchen. Once she was finished she reluctantly handed it back to Will, knowing she would have to say something now. “More?” Will asked, looking at her, almost impressed by the speed with which she had emptied the glass. Anna shook her head and mumbled “no thanks”. “So, Anna,” Mr. McKinley exclaimed, turning his back on the twins and the bowl of cookie dough. Will quickly stepped in, stopping the twins from spilling the dough on the floor and leaving Anna to chat with his dad. Anna dreaded the parents-of-friends chit chat. She was bad at chit-chat in general, but something about doing it with grown-ups was even worse, as there were only a few subjects that overlapped between the two age groups. Luckily Mr. McKinley took the lead and asked “What brings you by today?” “Um. I was just out rollerblading, and I thought I would stop by and say hi.” “Well, isn't that nice,” Mr. McKinley exclaimed. “If you can stay for a bit longer you can have some of our cookies.” He turned around to gesture at the scene in the kitchen and suddenly seemed to notice that leaving twins alone with cookie dough and a number of ingredients and baking supplies maybe wasn’t such a good idea. Will had his hands full trying to wrestle a jar of sprinkles out of Eric’s hands and meanwhile Emily was taking advantage of the lack of supervision to empty the flour bag of its contents. Mr. McKinley quickly stepped in, putting everything out of reach of the children and as soon as Will had managed to free the sprinkles from Eric’s chubby little hand he came back to Anna, gesturing for them to leave the kitchen.

FRIDAY

Friday morning rolled around and just as Anna was getting ready to head out to school her mom entered her room. She cast an uncertain glance around the room that was piled with boxes and bags full of trash from the painting and wrapping from all the new bits and pieces Anna had collected. Anna looked around the room too. While she saw a room that was slowly coming together, she could imagine how her mom would see a mess and nothing else. “I’ll clean it all up Mom, don’t worry,” she said, hoping to appease her mom before she started scolding her. “No, don’t be silly. I actually came up here to say that since I haven’t been able to help much with the furniture and the painting, that I would give your room a good thorough cleaning, seeing that that is my area of expertise.” She looked around the room again and her face showed her excitement to get started and make order out of chaos. Anna felt bad for her mom. This new room project had mainly been her dad’s along with her friends’ and she could understand that her mother might have felt a bit left out. She wanted her mom to feel included, but at the same time she was a bit afraid of letting her loose on the new room. This was after all supposed to be Anna’s room and Anna’s style. Her mom might get tempted to “fix it up” according to her own tastes again. Anna looked at her mom out of the corner of her eye. She looked so happy to be involved that Anna did not have the heart to deny her. After all, how much damage could she do in one day. The paint wouldn’t change and not the new furniture either. Anything she did Anna would be able to reverse, should it be necessary. “That sounds great, mom. Thanks,” she said and her mom came over and gave her a small hug. “I’ll get my supplies together,” she said as she gave Anna a last squeeze and left the room. Anna took a quick survey of the room. Was there anything she needed to save? Everything looked alright, her laptop had a password, and there were no secrets in the drawers except for her secret stash of candy which she figured would be safe enough to leave behind. As she grabbed her art project collage to leave she suddenly remembered the one she had made for herself, now stashed securely under the bed. Anna’s mom was a vigorous hoover-user and would most definitely get under the bed to make sure not a single piece of lint was getting away. Anna would have to put the collage somewhere safe while she was at school. She reached under the bed and pulled it out. She hadn’t really looked at it since she had finished it and she found that she was quite pleased with it. There was nothing explicit on it, nothing screaming I’M ASEXUAL! but her mom still might question it should she find it. Anna looked around and realized there was no safe place to stash it in her room as her mom’s cleaning would get at every nook and cranny. She decided to bring it to school and just leave it in her locker during the day. She rolled it up with Will’s collage and headed out.

At school Anna stashed her collages in her locker and looked around for Will. He was no where to be seen, but he had a habit of popping up, when she had given up on seeing him at all that day. She had hoped to make sure he was there, though. The art project was a group project and they were supposed to present it together. She didn’t know if Mr. Franson would insist on both of them being there, before he would grade the project. She kept an eye out for Will all day, but she didn’t see him. Finally art class rolled around and she picked up her collage and headed to the class. Just as she was about to turn the corner of the hallway she heard Will’s voice down the hall. “Give it back,” he demanded. He sounded upset and Anna stopped. She looked around, but the hallway was deserted, everyone already being in their next class. She briefly thought about just heading to class too, but then she heard laughing and a great tearing sound. She turned around and headed towards the sounds just as Mr. Franson turned the corner ahead of her down the hall. She quickly ducked out of his view. Luckily he was busy balancing papers and a cup of coffee in his hands and hadn’t noticed her. Anna headed towards the sounds that now consisted of shuffling and low, but intense, muttering. As she turned another corner she saw what she had been fearing. Matt and Jeff had apparently cornered Will on his way to art class and Matt was now pinning him against the lockers, while Jeff looked on with a gloating grin. At their feet lay ripped pieces of paper. Will was trying his best to wiggle out of Matt’s grasp, but he wasn’t having any luck. As Anna started heading towards them, not knowing what to do, but only knowing that she needed to do something, Will seemed to almost succeed in getting out from under Matt, but before he could do something with it, Matt had renewed his grip on him and banged him back against the lockers with a resounding slam. Anna hoped the sound would attract a teacher, as she felt decidedly less and less secure of herself the closer she got to the trio. She was now close enough to hear what Matt was saying to Will. “You think you can get away from me, you little fag? Well, guess what, you can’t. I’m in charge here. And I’ll prove it to you.” Matt raised his fist as Jeff looked on with an eager grin. Anna leapt into action. She dropped her books and sprinted the last few steps to the boys, throwing herself in front of Will and holding up her hand to ward of Matt’s punch. “Stop!!” she demanded in a voice much stronger than she had expected. For a heartbeat all four of them were frozen into place by the sudden turn of events. Matt seemed to gather his wits and while he lowered his fist he didn’t let go of Will’s shirt, leaving Anna standing between the two boys much closer to Matt and his bad breath than she desired. “What are you doing, Fitzwilliam? This is none of your business,” Matt said. He fastened his grip on Will shaking him up a bit in the process, thinking that Anna would leave. Instead she grabbed the arm that was holding Will, and said “I’m making it my business. Let him go!” in a stern, low voice. Matt and Jeff quickly looked at each other, not knowing what to do about this demand. Anna felt Will’s breath on her neck as the seconds ticked by, her heart pounding faster than ever. She didn’t really know how to follow up her demand, so she decided to just wait it out and see what would happen. She felt her old compulsion to just shrink away from confrontation and blend into the wall, but she remembered what it had felt like to fight her way to the front at the roller derby try outs and she stood her ground defiantly. Matt’s face was a study in confusion. He was apparently baffled that he had been thwarted in his project and probably wanted to punch the person, but that person being Anna, a popular girl, he didn’t know what to do about it. Finally, he seemed to decide on a course of action. He fixed Anna with his gaze as he bent his face towards her. She wanted to lean back away from him, but she was already pressed into Will, so she had to stand her ground and endure the smell of meatball sandwich emanating from Matt’s mouth as he hissed “If you keep hanging out with losers you’ll be a loser too!” He gave Will one last shake before letting him go. He and Jeff left and as they turned the corner Will and Anna simultaneously gave a sigh of relief. Finally Anna turned around to face Will. “Thanks for that” he said, “but I’m afraid you were too late.” He bent down to start picking up the pieces of torn paper, and Anna saw that it was the picture he had drawn for the art project. “Oh no,” she exclaimed as she bent down to help him. “Do you think we can tape it back together?” she asked, already knowing that was not an option. “No,” Will sighed “I’ll just have to say I didn’t finish it and fail the project.” He shuffled all the papers together, stood up and threw them in the nearby trash can. “You can’t fail,” Anna exclaimed, “you worked so hard!”. She felt bad if Will was going to fail the class, after all the hard work he had done helping her to make something good enough to pass. “And I have nothing to show for it,” he said, gesturing with his empty hands. For the first time Anna heard a small note of bitterness in his voice. For all the bullying he had endured, he never seemed to let it get to him too bad. He just picked himself up and continued with life, but this time he seemed to take it harder than usual. As she looked at him standing there, dejected, Anna had an idea. She didn’t know if she was brave enough to do it, but as Will resignedly said “we should get to class, we’re late,” and started heading in that direction she decided that she was. She wasn’t going to let idiots like Matt and Jeff ruin things for Will, even if it meant exposing herself to her class mates. “Wait here,” she said, and turned, sprinting towards her locker. She quickly picked up her own collage that she had made about herself and before she could have second thoughts sprinted back to Will, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him along with her. They reached the door to the art class room and Anna stopped for just a second to catch her breath and smooth down her hair. Then she flung the door open and said “Sorry we're late, Mr. Franson, we had some last minute issues with our project.” Mr. Franson looked at her, astonished. Not only had she never been late, but she practically never spoke up in art class. As she and Will headed to their seats, he mumbled that it was okay, but it shouldn't happen again. “Of course,” Anna answered with a big smile as she slid into her seat. She turned her attention to the front of the class where Jamie and Cassandra were presenting their project consisting of apparently old coffee cups and pieces of trash. As Cassandra was mumbling something about “found art” and Jamie’s aura Will poked Anna in the ribs and whispered “what are you doing?” Mr. Franson threw them a sour glance and Anna waved Will off with a shake of her head, staring fixedly in front of her. As she was sitting there, she had time to contemplate what she was about to do. Her heart started beating faster and she felt a blush coming on already. The collage she had made was extremely personal and she had never shared the stuff on it with anyone, not even Elsie yet. And now she was about to present it to an entire class of people she didn’t even know that well. A lot of the stuff on there was implied and could only be understood by someone in the know. She didn’t think anyone would recognize the purple, white, gray and black colors as the asexual flag, they would probably just think she liked purple, but still it was nerve-racking putting yourself out there like that. She glanced at Will who was doodling on some scrap paper and decided it was worth it. People wouldn’t get it anyway, and even if they did, so what? She was a big girl, she could handle it. Probably. Cassandra was winding down her presentation, her voice growing more and more quiet while she gestured offhandedly towards the collection of trash on the table by her side. Finally her voice seemed to disappear alltogether and after a few beats of intense silence Mr. Franson cleared his throat and said “Thank you for that very interesting presentation. Next up we have Miss Fitzwilliam and Mr. McKinley. I trust you fixed your last minute issues?” he added sarcastically, as Will and Anna got up to go to the front of the room. “Of course Mr. Franson, we just had some issues with adhesive,” Anna smiled. Will looked at her like she was speaking French. They reached the front of the room and Anna handed him her collage while she held out the one she had made for him. “So we decided to do collages as portraits,” she started. She held hers out for the class to see. Will was studying the one she had given him with a curious look. “Mr. McKinley” Mr. Franson started “may we see your work please? I’m sure the class is interested to know how you perceive Miss Fitzwilliam.” Will, surprised, quickly turned the collage towards the class and settled into a disengaged stance looking at the floor in front of him. Anna continued talking, she could feel herself babbling on about why they chose to do collages and explaining a few bits of hers about Will, without talking too much about Will personally. She hoped he would return the favor and not expose her to the entire class in case he understood the things that were implied on her collage. When finally she could think of nothing else to say that didn’t seem too personal, she stopped talking. Silence descended over the class room and she glanced sideways at Will who was still staring at the floor. Before she could nudge him to say something, Mr. Franson said “Mr. McKinley? Would you like to talk us through your collage?” Will shuffled his feet and Anna held her breath as he started talking. “Anna is a nice person,” he started. Anna felt a blush coming on and decidedly stared into the middle distance. “She is a good friend and will stick up for you if you need it and do her best to help you out.” Anna felt her blush rising even more and kept her gaze fixed above the heads of her class mates. “She’s not like other people at this school,” Will continued, “she will stand up for what is right and not just do what makes her popular. And she likes rollerskating,” he quickly added, jabbing a finger at a picture of some roller skates Anna had glued to the collage, before sinking into silence again. Mr. Franson waited a few seconds to see if they had anything to add to what was decidedly a lack-luster presentation, but when none of them spoke up to fill the silence, he grumbled, scribbled something on his notepad and said “Thank you for that. Next up is Miss Hart and Mr. Grayson”. Anna and Will both rolled up their collages and hurried to their seats. Will gently poked her in the side to get her attention, but Anna’s heart was beating too fast and loud for her to pay attention to anything. That presentation was the most thrilling thing Anna had ever experienced. Her collage had been deeply personal and to have it shown off to the entire class was a major thing. Luckily Will had not mentioned anything too personal and no one seemed to be getting the more subtle details of the collage, like the asexual colors and such. But still, it had been intense. The rest of the class passed in a blur. Anna could barely contain herself enough to sit still and at least pretend to listen to her class mates presenting their various art projects. Will seemed to have accepted that there would be no communication with her during class and had settled down to doodling again.

As soon as the bell rang Anna felt herself relaxing and sank into her chair. The rest of the class, including Mr. Franson, were running out the door, but Will stayed in his seat too. “What was that?” he exclaimed, clearly having waited impatiently to ask that question all class. “What?” Anna mumbled, avoiding eye contact. “This collage,” Will said, stabbing said collage with his finger, “how did you have that just laying around in your locker?” “I made it,” Anna explained. She decided she could let Will in on her secret. Or at least some of it. “For myself. I’ve had a lot of questions lately about myself and who I want to be, and when you showed me how to make a collage for the art project, I decided to make one for myself too to try and answer some of those questions.” Will looked at the collage that was still laying on the table between them. Anna almost felt like snatching it away from him, but she decided against it, even though her fingertips tingled with the desire to remove it from his scrutiny. Finally he looked up. “Did it help?” he asked. Anna was relieved he hadn't started questioning her about the various details of the collage. “Yeah, it did,” she answered, “I feel like I know myself better now. And know who I want to be.” “Is that why you started hanging out with me?” he asked. The question was unexpected. Anna thought he might be offended but decided to go with the truth anyway. “Kind of,” she said, “I mean we were paired for the project and you seemed really cool and nice. And you kind of got the shitty end of the stick at school, and I decided to try and be more actively nice instead of just standing by while Matt and Jeff were such idiots to people.” Will was silent for a long time. Anna worried that she had offended him with her explanation, but after an excruciating silence Will finally said “Well I am glad you did. Maybe now I won’t fail art.” Anna was relieved. “Don’t be too sure, after all I made the collage your character depends on, and we all know my artistic abilities,” she said, only half jokingly. Will smiled at her and together they gathered up the collages and left the class room.

At lunch they met with Elsie and settled down to eat. “What’s with the evil eyes from Matt’s group?” Elsie asked looking towards the table full of popular kids in the middle of the cafeteria. Anna looked and saw that Matt and Jeff were throwing decidedly dirty looks their way. Judging by the looks of the other people of the table, they seemed to have shared their story and now all the girls were giving Anna’s small group the stink-eye. Victoria said something and everyone at the table laughed and turned towards her after giving Anna, Elsie and Will a final dose of evil stares. Anna started to explain, but she wasn’t doing a very good job of it as she didn’t want to give too many details, in case Will would be embarrassed about it. Elsie looked more and more confused as Anna stumbled through an explanation about a broken art project and finally Will stepped in. “Matt and Jeff were bullying me and they stole my art project and ripped it up. Anna rescued me by putting herself between me and Matt.” Elsie looked duly impressed and said “Wow! Well I guess we know why the stink eye,” she said with an appraising glance at Anna. “But I guess this means no more hanging with the popular kids for us?” “Are you sad about that?” Anna asked, “they probably wouldn’t mind hanging out with you if you aren’t friends with us anymore,” she added, inwardly hoping and praying that Elsie wouldn’t ditch her. She thought she wouldn’t, but you never knew what people would give up to be part of the popular group and not have to worry about bullying every day. “Please,” Elsie scoffed, “As if I would pick them over you guys.” Anna let out a sigh of relief and started eating her lunch. “So tell me more,” Elsie demanded with a gleam in her eye, “did you really put yourself between Matt and Will?” “She did,” Will said before Anna could answer, “just as he was about to punch me!” “No way!” Elsie exclaimed. Will nodded and continued to tell the entire story, making Anna sound much more heroic than she thought she deserved.

TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY

The following days were spent in a rush of paint fumes, fixing spots on Anna’s walls, and on the street, skating up and down as fast as she could while Elsie timed her. In school she didn’t see much of Will, but when she did she made an effort to hang out with him and so did Elsie. They definitely drew the attention of the popular crowd, but they tried to ignore the stares that followed them when they headed to the courtyard to join Will for lunch.

THURSDAY

Thursday afternoon came around and Anna and Elsie headed to Allentown, where the try-outs were being held. As they came closer Anna’s breathing became shallow, her heart was beating faster and her armpits were growing distinctively damp. She cast a sidelong glance at Elsie who seemed completely unconcerned at the wheel. “You know…” Anna started, her voice a high pitched shriek. She started again taking care to level her voice. “Maybe we should just drop it. I just started roller skating again. There’s no way I’m going to be as good as the others there.” “Anna!” Elsie exclaimed, “we’ve worked way too hard for this! And do you realize I had to consent to going with my mom to one of those “Ladies who lunch” lunches in order to get the car tonight?” Anna hadn’t known, but before she could say anything Elsie continued; “Besides, who cares if the others are way better than you? You’ve only just started and even going to this thing takes balls. SO whether you leave them in the dust or you crash and burn, you should be proud for doing it at all!!” Anna looked over at Elsie. She hadn’t known Elsie felt so passionate about this, but it was nice to know that she would be there to celebrate or scrape her off the floor as the occasion demanded. “Well,“ Elsie snapped. “are you in?” “Yes!” Anna said “I’m in!” “I can’t hear you,” Elsie said in her army commander voice. “I’M IN!” Anna shouted and laughed as Elsie gave her a high five, laughing too. “Man, you should be a motivational speaker or something,” Anna said as the giggles subsided. “I’ll put it on the list of prospective careers” Elsie said.

They made it to the venue 10 minutes before the specified time. The parking lot only held a few cars aside from Elsie’s mom’s old clunker and Anna looked around, unsure if they had found the right spot. “It was today right?” Elsie said, also looking around. “I’m pretty sure” Anna said looking up the picture of the flyer and affirming that it was the right time and place. “Well, let’s go inside and see,” Elsie said and headed for the entrance. Once they made their way to the track inside it was clear that they were in the right place. About 5 girls were clumped together on the wooden floor of the track while 2 others waited by the railing. A girl from the clump approached them. The five girls were clearly members of the team. They all wore the same colors, even though the actual clothes were quite different. There were t-shirts, tank-tops, miniskirts, shorts (short shorts!) and stockings plus a whole number of accessories of different kinds. “Hey” the girl said as she came up to them “are you here for the try-outs? Please say yes.” Elsie quickly pointed to Anna and said “She is. I’m just here for moral support.” The girl gave Anna an appraising look. Apparently she wasn’t overly awed by what she saw, but she welcomed Anna anyway, telling her how the try-outs would play out. Anna changed into her roller skates and knee and elbow pads handed to her by the girl, and gave Elsie her shoes to take with her to the stands where she would observe. Anna’s palms were sweaty and her knees were shaky as she entered the track with the other girls. She took a deep breath and tried to remember Elsie’s words in the car. It didn’t really matter if she made the team. She had made it this far, and that was something in itself. She set out for warm-up laps with the rest of the girls. She definitely wasn’t the best or the fastest, but she wasn’t completely useless either. Bolstered by this she started to become excited. Maybe she wouldn’t totally suck. After a few warm-up laps the new girls did a few timed laps. Anna tried her best, and she thought she did quite well. Then they set up for a mock game forming two teams of three, trying out one new girl at a time. Anna didn’t go first, and she was grateful for that. She had a very tenuous grasp of the rules of roller derby. She and Elsie had spent a little time looking it up online, but they had really concentrated on the physical training. This way she had a chance to observe before her turn came up. When it did come up, she surreptitiously wiped her hands on her legs and headed to the track mumbling “It doesn’t really matter,” to herself a few times. They started the game and once Anna had gone around the track a few times she found she actually enjoyed herself. She pulled and was pulled in return and she enjoyed the speed and the physical exertion of it. After a few more rounds, it was the last girl’s turn. While Anna watched her going around the track she realized that it was starting to matter. She wanted to join the team, and do this every week. After all the girls had had their turn going around, the girl who had welcomed them, Charlotte, stepped up and said “Alright. That was the easy part! Now we do that again, as if it was an actual game. Meaning there will be pushing and interfering from the other team. Sandy, you’re up first”. The previous round had been a practice round, so the other team had just been taking up space to illustrate the setting of a game. This time around they would actually play against you. Anna started getting antsy again, but she realized she was more excited than scared. She was looking forward to her turn, even as Sandy took a spill on the track and slid to the bottom of the tilted floor.

When Anna was called to the track she felt the excitement thrumming in her fingertips as she took her place by her teammates. The whistled sounded and they started off. Anna heard the sounds of the wheels on the floor and her own heart beating in her ears, as she bent her legs and braced herself for being pulled forward by her team. As she slid in front of the pack a girl on the opposite team careened into her. Anna was pushed towards the edge of the track but she stayed upright and feeling the buzz of that small victory she sped up and overtook the rest of the girls. When she reached her team again, she was once again pulled forward and out of the corner of her eye she saw another girl coming at her. Breathing hard she decided to go for it and she slammed into the girl making both of them unsteady on their skates. Anna quickly righted herself and shot off down the track feeling exhilarated. Before she reached her team again, she heard the whistle calling an end to the round. Anna made her way on shaky legs to where Elsie was waiting by the railing. “That was awesome!” Elsie squeaked as she squeezed Anna’s arm. Anna smiled and felt really good about herself. Even if she didn’t make the team she knew she had done her best. Although she really really wanted to make the team! Anna’s heartbeat was slowly returning to normal, as she and Elsie watched the last girl take her turn around the track. On her second pass she was knocked down, but she quickly jumped up again and shot off with a determined look. Anna felt her heart sinking slightly. This girl seemed to be doing great, and Anna already felt the spot on the team slipping away.

Once the whistled sounded the three new girls gathered around the team. Charlotte stepped forward and said “Alright, that was really well done by all of you. If you will just wait around for a few minutes we will talk it over and decide who we want to offer a place.” She glanced at the three girls who all nodded, and as the team went to the other side of the track to talk in private the three girls shot surreptitious looks at each other, sizing up the competition. Anna thought she had done well, but she was by no means certain that she was the best. She glanced at Elsie who gave her a smile and a thumbs up from where she was sitting on the stands. The team seemed to have made their decision fast and were already heading back across the tracks. Anna felt her breath hitch in excitement, trying to gauge if the team members were looking at any particular girl. Charlotte once again took the word and said “As I said, you all did really well, and we would actually like to offer a place to all three of you. First just for training and then we will see who makes it to the actual games.” Anna heaved a sigh of relief and a smile broke out on her face. She had actually made it! It might be just training first, but she was excited anyway. She had never been one for team sports of any kind, but this seemed like it would be her kind of thing. Charlotte started explaining the practical details and handing out sheets of paper with dates and names and phone numbers on. Then she asked the three new girls for their details which they filled out on her clipboard and then they broke up. Next training session was Tuesday and Anna already started planning to see if she could borrow her parents’ car. It was going to be a logistical challenge to get to training a couple of times a week, but it was worth it.

MONDAY

Next day after school as Elsie and Anna were headed to Green Beans for what had fast become their usual fix of tea and cookies, they noticed two girls posting a flier in the window of the cafe. As Anna and Elsie entered, the girls exited calling out a thank you to Andy. “Hey girls,” Andy greeted them. “What will it be today? I have a coffee cake just out of the oven”. When Elsie heard this she quickly turned her attention from the back of the flyer to Andy and nodded vigorously. “And a triple chocolate cookie for me,” Anna said. “What’s this about?” she added pointing to the flyer in the window. “Those girls are looking for new team members and asked if they could hang a flyer in my window,” Andy explained as he started getting their order together. He already knew their drinks - coffee and hot chocolate, extra cream. “What kind of team?” Elsie asked as she accepted her giant piece of cake. “Take a look,” Andy said and Anna and Elsie went to the window where they carefully peeled off the flyer, so they could read it.

SUNDAY

Next day she and her dad headed out early, determined to make the hardware store and the furniture shop before she had to be home to meet Will and Elsie. Elsie had texted late last night saying she was good to go, as long as Anna promised to help her with her History homework.

As they drove Anna looked at her father and wondered how he felt about his life. Was he happy or did he regret not going traveling when he was young? She knew he wasn’t too happy, what with the therapy and all, but was he satisfied that he would become happy or did he truly hate it. Anna bit her lip as she contemplated this. She guessed she would never know unless she asked him. And in the spirit of becoming a braver person she decided to do just that. “Dad?” she opened hesitantly. “Yes Anna?” he readily answered. “Did you…” she hesitated. “I mean, were you…” She paused again. She didn’t really know how to phrase it. “What is it?” her dad asked when she didn’t continue. “Just…do you ever regret staying with mom? I mean, I know you wanted to go traveling when you were younger, but you guys got married and had me instead. And now, well, I know you aren’t happy, with the therapy and all, and I just wondered if you ever regretted it, and maybe wished you had gone off after all? And maybe you want to go now?” Anna finished in a rush. Her dad quickly glanced over at her, before turning his eyes to the road again. “Anna, I don’t regret anything! I love you and your mom and our life together. Yes, it has been a little difficult lately, but I am absolutely committed to working it out with your mom. You don’t have to worry about my leaving you,” her dad answered earnestly. Anna was glad that he hadn’t brushed off her concerns, but still she felt a bit uneasy. She noticed he had said “leaving you” and something in the way he said it, implied that he meant her and not her and her mother. “But you never got to go on your adventure,” she said. “This life has been an adventure of a whole different kind. I’ll admit sometimes I think about what I would have done, if I had gone traveling, how my life would have turned out, but I wouldn’t trade it for what I have now.” Anna felt a little more at ease, and asked “Where would you have gone?” to try and lighten the mood in the car. “ I was going to go to Japan and teach English and travel around for a while. And then I would have gone on to Asia, you know, all the standards; island hopping in Thailand, Angkor Wat in Cambodia, floating down a river in Laos, all that stuff.” “Wow, it sounds like you really had it all planned out,” Anna said. She had known that he had planned to travel, but she didn’t know he had had such specific plans. “Yeah, but then I met your mom, and I fell in love. She wasn’t into traveling, at least not the backpacking style that I was planning, and I decided to stay home rather than go without her. I would have been gone for almost a year, and I was worried we wouldn’t feel the same when I came back.” “But you guys are soulmates,” Anna said. She was reminded of her mom saying those very words to him only a few days ago. Her dad chuckled. “We were..we are! But that doesn’t necessarily mean we have to be together. Look at the Morrison’s. They are not soulmates and they are together. I was worried your mom would find someone else while I was off learning to surf or what have you in Vietnam. She was ready to get started on our life together, and she seemed so determined, I was afraid she would find someone else, if I told her she had to wait a year for me. So I decided to stay.” Her dad seemed to reflect on this. “I guess I always secretly blamed her for making me stay, but I decided to stay on my own. It was my decision,” he said this quietly, seemingly having forgotten that Anna was there. She didn’t want to interrupt his thoughts, so they drove quietly until the sign for the hardware store came into view. At this her dad seemed to perk up and remember where he was. “Sorry, that got a bit deep,” he gave an embarrassed smile. “Have you decided what colors you want samples of?” he asked, leaving the serious topics behind. “Maybe blue and green. Or purple. I don’t really know,” Anna faltered. “That’s okay,” her dad said “we can get all the samples you want and you and your friends can swatch them and see which one you like.” Anna gave him a grateful smile as they entered the hardware store. Soon her father had found an employee and was getting said employee to show them sample after sample of colors for the walls and giving advice on brushes and covering the floors and what not. Anna’s head was reeling by the time they left with 5 small buckets of paint and some brushes. She didn’t know there was so much involved in just painting her room. She thought she would just get some paint and paint the walls, but it turned out she needed so much more than that. Her dad had insisted on getting actual brushes even though Anna said she had bought some at the craft store. “The craft store,” her father had huffed under his breath as he picked out brushes. Then they had picked up plastic for the floor and tape to tape around the door frames and light switches. And then there was the actual paint. Anna had picked out 5 different colors; sky blue, inspired by Will’s room, a really light blue, a deep green, a vibrant purple and a cream color, in case all the colors were too crazy. They loaded everything int the car and her dad glanced at his watch. “We can just make a quick trip to the furniture store, what do you say?” Anna was still pretty shell shocked from the hardware store, but she nodded, deciding that it would be good to scout out the possibilities since they were already here. They headed inside and Anna felt more at home here than in the hardware store. She browsed the rooms that had been set up to show all the items “in action” but didn’t find one she really liked. She guessed she shouldn’t model her new room on someone else’s idea anyway, if she was trying to express who she was, but a little inspiration wouldn’t go amiss. She had never decorated a room before, so she felt like she was allowed to use a lot of inspiration. They made it all the way through the store, without seeing something that caught Anna’s eye, until they came to the clearance section in the back. Tucked away in a corner Anna spotted a retro inspired vanity set in dark wood. It had a broad square mirror and wide drawers on either side. A little stool was nestled underneath it, the seat made from a rich green brocade. Anna fell in love instantly. It was like wherever she went, things just offered themselves up to her. First the poster and now this vanity set. She stroked the table top, looking for a price sticker, just hoping it wasn’t too expensive. “You like it?” her dad asked. “Yeah,” Anna nodded, “how much do you think it is?” She couldn’t find a price sticker anywhere, but it was in the clearance section, so she hoped it wouldn’t be too much. Her dad went into action and tracked down an employee to ask about the price. They were out of earshot, but when her dad returned he looked happy. “If you want it we can take it with us now,” he said. “Dad, are you sure? I didn’t mean for you guys to buy me new furniture when I asked to redecorate. The paint should be enough,” Anna said. She really wanted the vanity set, but she felt bad that they were spending so much money on her. “You deserve it,” her dad insisted “you’ve been working really hard with school lately, and we want to give you something for it. And if you want to redecorate, you should at least have one piece of new furniture. So what do you say? Do you want it?” Anna nodded, excited. She couldn’t believe her luck. “But how will it fit in the car?” she asked, suddenly realizing that it was far too big to fit in the trunk. “We’ll get a trailer for free to take it home,” her dad said already settling practical details with the employee. Getting the trailer and getting the vanity set on the trailer was a bit of a kerfuffle, so by the time they arrived home, Will and Elsie were already there, waiting for her on the porch, lemonade in hand. Will looked a bit uneasy at the whole situation, perching straight-backed on a lounge chair, but Elsie had made her self comfortable kicking off her shoes and lounging back in her chair sipping the lemonade. “Lovely of you to invite guests and not be home to greet them,” Elsie greeted her from the porch, raising her glass to her. “Guys, I’m so sorry!! We got held up at Mackey’s, trying to get this thing home,” she said gesturing to the vanity set on the trailer. “Wow, is that for you? You really mean business with this new room thing, hah?” Elsie said, coming down off the porch to admire the vanity set. Will stood up too, awkwardly descending the porch steps and stopping a few steps short of Anna and Elsie. Anna’s dad had been preoccupied with getting the strings that secured the vanity to the trailer untied, but now he rounded the car and came to meet Will. He stretched out a hand and said “You must be Will, I’m Anna’s father. It’s nice to meet you”. Will fumbled with his sketchbook, which had been in his hand the whole time. He stuffed it under his arm and managed to free a hand to shake, and mumbled “Nice to meet you too, sir”. “Well Will, can I possibly persuade you to help me carry this thing to the garage?” Mr. Fitzwilliam said, gesturing at the vanity set. Will quickly nodded and handing off his glass of lemonade and his sketchbook to Anna he set to helping her dad carry the vanity set in to the garage. Elsie grabbed the stool and followed them inside. “We might as well wait getting it up in your room, until you’ve decided on the paint color and gotten rid of some of the other furniture, “ her dad gasped as they set down the vanity in the corner of the garage. “Otherwise it will be way too crowded in there. Well, if you kids will take those bags from the hardware store, I’ll get this trailer back to the shop. Will, thanks for lending a hand,” he added and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Sure,” Will said quietly. He reached out for his sketchbook and Anna handed it to him along with his lemonade. She and Elsie headed back to car, quickly grabbing the bags, and then making their way to Anna’s room, followed by a confused Will. “What’s going on?” he asked Anna, when he saw the mess on her floor and the buckets of paint she was getting out of the bags. Before Anna could answer Elsie said “Oh Will, you have no idea what you just walked into, do you?” Will just looked even more confused and Anna threw an exasperated look at Elsie. “Anna here has decided to redecorate her room, and she is going to make slave labour of you and I to help her do it,” Elsie explained. “Actually,” Anna said pointedly, “ I am only going to make slave labour of you, Elsie. Will is just the artistic consultant. If you don’t mind,” she added, looking at Will. “Um…” he started. Anna quickly explained, “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind giving me some advice on color scheme. You’ve seen for yourself that I’m not very artistic, so I could really use some help. You just have to sit there and say which color is better. Elsie and I will do all the painting.” “Will we now?” Elsie asked archly, but Anna ignored her. “Sure,” Will said, even though he didn’t really seem sure. “But, um…are we going to work on the project too?” “Yes!” Anna said, “we promised our parents that we would study first, so we should do that.” They all settled down to their homework after Will had gotten Anna to bring out the old bag again and Elsie had convinced her to break open her emergency stash of M&Ms. Will sketched away while Anna alternated between doing her collage and helping Elsie with her homework. She felt bad that the collage always took second-place, but at least it was slowly coming along. After a while Elsie suggested they put on some music. “My brain is dying!!” she exclaimed when Anna hesitated, “I need some distraction!” “Did you ever think that maybe distraction is exactly what you don’t need?” Anna asked, even as she started setting up her computer to play music. “Do you mind music Will?” she asked. Will looked up from his sketch which had completely engrossed him until now. “No, that’s okay” he said. “Great,” Elsie said, “then you can pick the tunes. Anna and I can never agree”. Elsie took the computer from Anna and handed it to Will. He slowly started scrolling through her collection. Anna was watching him intently as a lot of the recently added stuff would be things he knew. She had remembered a lot of the bands that he liked and downloaded a ton of stuff to give it all a go. She thought he noticed as she saw his eyebrows knitting together, but he didn’t say anything. Anna gave a small sigh of relief. She didn’t want him to think she was stalking him or something. He was just a good source of inspiration for new things, as it seemed he knew a lot of things she didn’t and liked some of the same things she did too. Will seemed to settle on something he liked and as the laptop started playing one of Anna’s new albums he set it on the floor between them all and returned to his sketch. Elsie seemed to have abandoned her Spanish homework and was stretched out on the floor slowly munching the last of the M&Ms. After a few minutes she said “I like this song. What is it?” Will glanced at Anna as she answered “It’s Langhorne Slim, For A Little While”. She felt herself blush a little. Will had definitely noticed her stalkerish new music collection. “It’s good,” Elsie said as she rolled on to her back, completely disregarding her homework. Anna set to work on her collage again and Will sketched away quietly. After a couple of songs Elsie rolled over onto her stomach again and halfheartedly leafed through her book. “Ugh,” she exclaimed, “I can’t do this anymore. Is it time to paint yet?” Anna looked up and gave a laugh at the utterly dejected state of her friend sprawled out on the floor with her face laying flat on the pages of her history book. “Sure,” she said. “If Will doesn’t mind us interrupting to ask his opinion,” she added with a questioning look at Will. He closed his sketchbook and said “I don't mind. I’m almost done, so I can do the rest at home.” He got up and stretched out looking curiously at the buckets of paint. “You don’t have to help with the painting,” Anna quickly said, “you can just consult on color.” Elsie smacked her. “If he wants to help, then let him,” she said and smiling at Will she started unpacking the plastic covering and painter’s tape from the bags. “Only if you’re sure,” Anna added uncertainly. Will nodded and grabbed one end of a sheet of plastic. Between the three of them they quickly moved the furniture off one wall and put the plastic down. They would swatch the different colors here and Will would decide which would look better with Anna’s new vanity set.

They each painted one color, and then Anna and Will took care of the last two, as it turned out that Elsie was a messy kind of painter. She took it upon herself to go to the kitchen and negotiate some snacks from Anna’s mom, while Anna and Will did the last two swatches. Anna watched as Will opened the bucket of skye blue paint that was inspired by his room. He paused slightly when he saw the color and Anna blushed again and looked away, trying to pretend it was all a happy coincidence. He must think she was the biggest stalker ever. However, he didn’t say anything, only started painting his little square of the wall.

Soon they were sitting on the floor munching cookies and contemplating the different colors. “Guys,” Elsie said, “you do realize we are actually watching paint dry, right?” “Would you rather do your Spanish homework?” Anna asked innocently. “No no, I’m happy with this,” Elsie said getting another cookie. “So, Will,” Anna said, “what do you think? Which color would go better?” She looked at the swatches again as Will thought over his answer. She really liked the blues, but she felt like he might think she was the worst copycat if she said that. “I think you should go for cream on three walls and then do one accent wall, maybe by the bed. The green or either of the blues would be good, but I think the purple is too much,“ Will finally answered. After a little more deliberation he said “I do think the light blue would be best. Your new dressing table is quite dark, so it will lighten things up a bit and it won’t be too matchy matchy with the brocade.” Anna looked at the sky blue and nodded. “I think you are right. Thanks Will,” she beamed. “So when do you plan to actually paint?” Elsie asked, adding “I assume you intend to take advantage of us again?” “Only you,” Anna answered with a smile, “Will has done his bit already.” “That’s not fair,” Elsie exclaimed “why does he get to be the consultant and I have to do the manual labour?” “Because he is the only one with a talent for this stuff,” Anna answered. Elsie pouted and grabbed the last cookie, “fine,” she grumbled as she munched it.

SATURDAY

Next day Anna woke up feeling excited to go test out her new roller skates. After a quick breakfast she laced them up and headed out the door. She had unearthed her old bicycle helmet and strapped it on. It had been a while after all, and she was in no hurry to break her skull open. After a few trial runs up and down her street to make sure she hadn’t completely forgotten how to do it, she set out for Will’s house. Soon she was enjoying the smooth ride, the wind in her hair and the way her muscles worked. She had a feeling she would be sore the next day, but she liked it. Aside from P.E. at school she hadn’t done any physical activities in a long time, and she found she really enjoyed using her body and feeling her heartbeat against her chest and the air rushing through her lungs. She did a few sprints along the way but mostly she took it easy, just enjoying the feeling. When she made it to Will’s house she was out of breath and slightly sweaty, but she didn’t really care. She knocked on the door and Will opened it. “Anna,” he said by way of greeting, sounding a bit surprised to see her. As he took in her appearance he asked “Were we supposed to meet today?” “No, no,” Anna shook her head, still little out of breath. “But I was wondering if you would want to meet maybe later today or tomorrow? Elsie and I are doing a study date, if her parents say yes, and I thought we could catch up on the project, and maybe get it finished?” Will seemed to think about this and Anna decided to press on to try and persuade him. “I know I am really taking advantage of you here with me being so sucky at art, but I was hoping maybe I could pay you back somehow. Is there a subject you need help in maybe?” Anna felt Will’s reluctance growing and desperately she tried another approach, “Or maybe I could babysit for you? I do it sometimes for our neighbor, so I have some experience and Eric and Emily seem like nice kids…” Anna trailed off. She really didn’t know what else she could offer, and she was getting used to the prospect of finishing her project alone, when Will unexpectedly said “Alright. We can do a study date. I’m free tomorrow around midday if that’s okay.” “Yeah,” Anna quickly said and nodded. “Can you come to my house? I’ll see if Elsie can convince her parents to let her come too”. Anna really hoped he could make it, as she was expecting to pick his brains for color ideas for her room, even if he didn’t know that yet. “Yeah, I can come over,” Will said and Anna breathed a secret sigh of relief. “Great,” she said “around eleven?” Will nodded and asked “should I bring anything?” Anna thought about it and said “just the stuff you need yourself. I’m going to the craft supply store to get my own stuff so I don’t mooch off of you anymore.” She smiled at him and said “Alright, see you tomorrow”. She gave a wave as she turned and left headed down the street towards the craft store. She felt so productive and ready to start on her newest project, the room makeover. She figured she would work on Will’s collage for the rest of the day and as a treat she could work on her own collage later. She felt like the collage was a good place to start when it came to deciding how she wanted her room to look.

At the craft store they forced her to take off her roller skates and walk around in her socks, claiming that the wheels would scuff the floors. Anna didn’t really care, she was just too excited at the prospect of working on all her projects. She filled the shopping basket with paint samples, brushes, stencils, craft paper, ribbon, glue, pins, pens and all sorts of bits and pieces she had never had an interest in before, but which now seemed to hold endless, exciting possibilities.

The ride home was a bit more tricky as she had to balance the heavy bag on her shoulder, and that threw her off balance. But she made it, and as she emptied the bag of craft supplies onto her floor, she gave a satisfied grin at all the options spilling out before her. She decided to get her “normal” homework out of the way first and settled down to math problems and an English paper. When she had finished all the boring homework she decided to take a break for lunch and went to the kitchen to make herself a sandwich. As she was assembling it she heard her parents talking in the garden. Through the open back door she could hear snippets of their conversation. It seemed like they were talking about the counseling. Her mother seemed ready to give it up and continue on their own. “I’m just saying, now we know how to talk, and we can fix our own problems. We don’t need to go anymore.” Her mother’s pleading voice drifted in through the door. Her father sounded exasperated when he said “Jane, it’s going to take more than one session to fix this. We can’t just continue on like before. We need to figure this out, if not for us then for Anna.” When Anna heard her own name, she stiffened and  strained her ears to hear her mother’s answer. “Anna’s best interest is in this family staying together,” her mother insisted with a stern voice. “I don’t necessarily agree,” her father said, shocking both Anna, and by the sound of the shocked gasp from outside, also her mother. “What I mean is,” her father quickly amended, “that of course it is in everyone’s interest that the family stays together but only if each individual of the family is happy.” “Are you saying you’re not happy?” Her mother demanded, “that you haven’t been happy for these past 20 years?” “I’m saying we need to talk more about it, and I think a professional counselor is the way to go about that.” There was silence and Anna leaned towards the door trying to hear if anything was going on out there. Finally, when she was just beginning to think her parents had left, she heard her mother sigh and say “fine. We’ll go to therapy,” in a disgruntled voice. Anna realized this was the end of their conversation and she quickly tried to make it seem as if she had heard nothing of it in case her mother walked in the door. She didn’t though, and when Anna was done cleaning up her sandwich components she peeked out the back door to see her father fiddling with the hose, while her mother was digging plants at the far end of the garden. Anna quickly retreated to the kitchen, picking up her sandwich and taking it to her room, not wanting her parents to know she had been in the vicinity of their little spat.

As she reached her room, her brow furrowed thinking about the fact that her father wasn’t happy. He hadn’t said it outright, but it was easy enough to understand. Anna had been comforted by the fact that they were seeing someone to talk about their problems and she thought it had been going better since she hadn’t heard them yelling at each other since they had been to their first session. But maybe it wasn’t that easily fixed and Anna felt a chill run down her spine at the thought that the therapy could actually end up with the family breaking up. She hadn’t thought so before, but it seemed that her dad was actually close to leaving. She had thought that maybe he had just used it as leverage to get her mother to go to therapy, but from what she had overheard in the garden it seemed he considered it an actual possibility. Anna couldn’t handle thinking about it just now, so she settled down to eat her sandwich and text Elsie.

Anna: Hey! Will is in for study date tomorrow at 11 at my house. You in? Elsie: Cool! I’ve been working my patootie off trying to impress my parents. I think it’s working, but I’ll give it a couple more hours before I ask. Anna: Ok. I hope you can make it! I need your help moving furniture! Elsie: So now it comes out. You only want me for my muscles. I’m offended! Anna: It’s the only reason I’m friends with you! Elsie: Hmpf!!

Anna stayed in her room the entire afternoon, halfheartedly working on her collage for Will. She just couldn’t get into it and she felt annoyed with herself. The morning had felt so full of potential and new beginnings, but now she couldn’t concentrate on anything as her parents’ conversation in the garden kept running around her head. She tried to imagine her life if her dad really did leave. Where would he go? Would he go off on his adventure that he had put off when he first met her mother. Would he stay in town and tackle the dirty looks of the neighbors as they gossiped about him and her mom? Would he leave town and find someone new to settle down with? Maybe even have some more kids and just forget about Anna? She stopped herself. This was getting out of hand. She didn’t even know that he was going to leave. As long as they were seeing the therapist she guessed there was still a chance of him staying. Maybe she could do something to convince him that staying with them didn’t mean giving up on the adventure he had dreamed of when he was younger. He had wanted to travel the world, but maybe he would settle for an adventure closer to home. Anna dug out her computer and started looking up tourist spots close to town. She knew a road trip to the biggest ball of yarn in the state probably wouldn’t quench his thirst for adventure, but it might be a start. If she could convince her mother to go too, she might be able to show him that they could live out his dreams as a family. As she was browsing directions for said ball of yarn, she suddenly stopped. There was no way he was going to settle for that when he had dreamed of seeing the sun rise over the temples of Angkor Wat. But then what was she supposed to do? Frustrated she put the computer down again, and looking for someway to get the thoughts out of her head she decided to work on her own collage a bit. She felt sort of bad for Will’s as it always seemed to end up on the back burner, but she promised herself she would knuckle down and really work on it tomorrow. It would be easier with him there anyway, she decided, and feeling only slightly guilty she started cracking open all her new craft supplies to work on her own.

FRIDAY

Friday’s classes seemed twice as long as usual. Elsie didn’t help, continually texting her with a countdown to the end of the day and a list of all the cookies they could have when they were done. Anna had raided her piggybank for money to buy roller-skates, but she was definitely saving enough to buy one of those triple chocolate cookies of Andy’s.

As the last class of the the day finally let out, Anna met Elsie in the hall. The rest of the students seemed as excited as they were that it was finally Friday and there was a general feeling of exuberance rolling along the halls, as all the students headed for the front doors. As they were walking past the library Anna suddenly noticed Will standing just inside the door. He seemed to be on the lookout for something, but apparently hadn’t noticed Anna. She grabbed Elsie’s arm and pulled her towards the library. “Hey, what are you..,” Elsie protested, but she stopped when she saw Will. “Hey Will,” she said instead and beamed at him. Will seemed almost frightened at their sudden appearance, but he quickly rallied and greeted them back. “What are you up to this weekend?” Anna asked. She wanted to figure out if she could ask him to work on the project again, or if she was being too demanding. She didn’t want him to get sick of her before they even finished the project. But the thing was, after getting to know him a bit better, Will was a nice guy and Anna was really starting to like hanging out with him. Elsie was her only actual friend and she figured she could use some more. Will seemed like a good candidate, but she didn’t want to smother him. Why was making friends so hard when you got older. As a kid all you had to do was ask “Do you want to play?” and most likely you would be solid friends after a few hours on the playground. These days building friendship was wrought with anxiety. “Not much,” Will answered distractedly. He was still keeping a lookout over their shoulders. Suddenly he flinched, and Anna turned around to see Matt and Jeff coming down the hall throwing a football at each other and laughing out loud about all the cool things they were going to do that weekend. Anna turned back around just to see that Will had disappeared. She looked at Elsie, who just gave her a tight smile and looked at Matt and Jeff out of the corner of her eye. Anna figured they must be the ones Will had been keeping a lookout for. She felt sad that he had to do that. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? She watched as Matt and Jeff moved down the hall and out the front door. Will returned from within the library looking sheepishly at them, and Anna decided to just ignore what had just happened, as Will looked a bit embarrassed about it. “So if you’re not too busy over the weekend, do you maybe want to work on the project again?” Anna asked him. Before he could answer Elsie rolled her eyes and said “Let the poor boy have his spare time to himself. I am sure he doesn’t want to be struggling with your artistically challenged self all weekend.” She said it jokingly and Will only smiled, as Anna tried to defend herself. “That is outrageous!” she said “I am improving massively if you must know. Right Will?” Will looked a little uncomfortable being drawn into the joke, but he just nodded and gave Anna a small smile. “See?” she demanded. “Please,” Elsie said, “he is just too nice to smash your dreams of passing art.” Elsie waved her hand dismissively in the air. Will smiled again and as the hall was emptying rapidly, they started to drift towards the doors as they continued talking. “But seriously,” Anna said, “if you want to work on the project just give me a call. But you don’t have to,” she quickly added at a stern glance from Elsie. “Maybe,” Will said, and as they reached the doors and were finally free of school they parted ways, and Anna and Elsie headed straight for downtown for retail therapy.

“Do you want to go to the cafe first?” Anna asked. “Let’s hit the shops first. If I sit down in that soft cozy chair I may never rise again” Elsie said. They duly headed for the charity shop, where Elsie claimed Anna could find anything she ever wanted or didn’t know she wanted. She just hoped there was a pair of roller skates in there somewhere. They entered the shop and the unmistakeable smell of charity shop enveloped them. Anna always thought it weird how all charity shops smelt exactly the same, slightly musty and dusty. They must all use the same detergent she reasoned. Elsie headed straight inside and started rummaging through the piles. She was a seasoned charity shop shopper, whereas Anna practically only entered one accompanied by Elsie. Anna’s mother didn’t like the idea of using someone else’s old clothes. She preferred them new, straight from the racks. Anna looked around a bit timidly, not knowing where to start. “Can I help you?” a crisp voice asked behind her back. Anna gave a small jump of surprise, she hadn't heard anyone coming up behind her, and swiveled around. A small, efficient-looking elderly lady was standing there with slightly raised eyebrows looking at Anna. “Well, I was hoping to find some roller skates. Do you know if you have any?” Anna asked. The lady pointed at some overflowing bins at the back of the store. “All speciality footwear are back there in the bins,” she said and left Anna to man the cash register again. Anna turned back to Elsie who briefly emerged from her pile of old clothes, and asked “what exactly is speciality footwear?” Elsie shrugged and dove back into her pile, while Anna moved towards the back. It turned out that speciality footwear was apparently anything that wasn’t as such a shoe. And even some of the uglier shoes had made it into the bins. Anna started sorting through galoshes, flip-flops, sandals and crocs in her search. After the first couple of bins Elsie showed up by her side with an armful of colorful clothes. “Any luck?” she asked. Anna dejectedly muttered a no. “I don’t think they have any,” she said. Hearing this, Elsie carefully put her pile down on one of the bins Anna had already sorted through, and said “you should never give up until you have looked in absolutely every bin!” and dove straight into the next one. Anna sighed. She wasn’t exactly patient when it came to things like this. That was why she usually couldn't find a single thing when she went to charity shops with Elsie, while Elsie could leave with armloads of cool things. She decided to take a note from Elsie and keep on looking. She dove into the bin next to Elsie’s. After another few minutes of searching Anna struck gold. Down at the bottom of a bin she spotted a wheel. It was well-used and glowing green and when she grabbed it to pull it up it was attached to a faded green roller skate. “Well done,” Elsie cheered next to her. “Now we just need the other one”. She dove into Anna’s bin to give her a hand and they soon found the other roller skate. Anna felt so pleased with herself. She had finally found something in a charity shop she liked well enough to buy. This encouraged her to find more things, and she looked around eagerly. She felt like she wasn’t ready to start on the piles of clothing, but maybe she could find something for her room. Just to add some sort of personal touch to her mother’s decor. She slowly walked around the shop looking at all the knick-knack and furniture until her eye landed on a box full of old posters. She thought that would be a good idea. A poster would be inexpensive and easily replaced, if she decided she didn’t like it after all. She slowly flicked through all the posters, until a glimmer of green caught her eye. It was a cartoonish poster of a girl’s face in an art nouveau style but very simple. Anna decided to get it. She proudly carried her discoveries to the cash register where the lady was already tallying up Elsie’s things. Anna showed Elsie the poster and Elsie gave an approving nod as she handed over her money to the lady and received a large bag that looked fit to burst. As the lady began tallying Anna’s meagre harvest, Elsie declared “now I need coffee!” “I think we deserve it,” Anna agreed and as soon as she had paid and gotten her own, much smaller, bag they headed for Green Beans.

When they entered the cafe, it turned out to be very busy, and the girls looked disappointed towards their favorite seat by the window, which was now occupied by what looked to be moms out on a rare coffee date. They seemed settled in with huge mugs of coffee and slices of cake that had only been nibbled at. Elsie suggested they should go and stare at them until they moved, but Anna didn’t think that would go over well with either the moms or Andy. Speaking of Andy, he was looking swamped behind the bar making coffees and getting cake and cookies for everyone. He still managed to give Anna a smile when she caught his eye, and she gave a small smile back. Meanwhile Elsie had discovered free seats and plunged towards them in the crowded coffee shop, determined to get at them, before anyone else did. Anna followed more carefully, but she couldn't help a little smirk when Elsie threw herself into the chair right under the nose of a smug looking guy in a suit carrying a briefcase and a to-go coffee mug. Elsie completely ignored his annoyed huff, and Anna slid into the seat opposite, as the man turned and left with a sour expression on his face. The girls laughed at their good luck in getting a seat, even if they had to fight for it, but Anna soon got up again to get their coffees and cookies. She put the bags in her chair to signal that it was occupied, and left Elsie to defend the seats against trespassers. She waited in line and by the time she finally reached Andy, the hustle and bustle seemed to be dying down a bit. There were only a few people in line behind Anna, and the rest of the customers had settled in to enjoy their little break. Andy looked completely winded, and Anna asked “Rough day?” He gave a smile and said “A little, but I guess that’s good right? Rather too busy, than not busy enough. What can I get you?” Anna ordered coffee for Elsie, hot chocolate for herself and two massive slabs of chocolate cake. She figured they deserved a treat after a rough week. “Is it just you who works here?” Anna asked. “Yeah, I figured I should  get it up and running before I started hiring, but a day like today, I could use a little help,” Andy said, “are you looking for a job?” he added. “Oh, “ Anna said, surprised. She really hadn’t been angling for a job, she was just trying to make small talk, but maybe a job wouldn’t be such a bad idea. You could always use more money, right? And it would look good on college applications, or so she had heard. “Well, maybe,” she answered hesitantly “but I really don’t have any experience. With anything,” she added. She realized she wasn’t really selling herself here, but she felt she had to be honest. “Oh, it’s quite an easy job, once you get into it,” Andy assured her as he handed her her order. “But let’s talk more when it’s not quite so busy in here,” he added, as the customer behind Anna was seemingly getting frustrated from being kept away from his caffeine for so long. Anna nodded and carried her order to the table, where Elsie was patiently waiting with an inhospitable look on her face to ward off anyone trying to poach their places.

As the girls chatted about the week and everything that had happened, the buzz died down around them as the clock wound its way around to late afternoon. Soon there were only a few people left in the coffee shop as everyone was headed home to get dinner started. Andy started cleaning up the mess left after the invasion of the day, and when he passed their table he put two pieces of paper in front of them. “Think about it and get those back to me if you’re interested,” he said to Anna. “You too,” he added as he scooted one of the papers over to Elsie. “What’s this?” Elsie asked, and Anna explained about the possible job opening. “We should totally do that,” Elsie exclaimed excitedly. “We can work together and taste-test all the cookies and make money and have so much fun!” “But do you think he will hire us when we don’t have any experience?” Anna asked. “Who knows, but we can give it a try at least,” Elsie said, sliding the paper towards her and grabbing her bag to get a pen to fill it out. When they had filled out all their personal details, and any work experience, which was easy, because there was none, they decided they should probably get going. They put the papers on the bar and waved goodbye to Andy who was still collecting mugs and plates from the emptying tables.

As soon as Anna made it home, she went to her room and spread her purchases out on the floor. She tried on the roller skates, thinking she probably should have done so at the shop before she bought them, but she had just been so excited to find them in her size, that she hadn’t given it a second thought. She slipped one on and it fit perfectly. She slipped on the other one as well and snapped a picture to send to Elsie. She couldn’t really try them out on her carpeted floor, but she was determined to get out on the streets first thing in the morning. She removed the roller skates again and put them in the closet. Then she unfolded the poster and looked at it again. She was still really pleased with it and immediately started looking for a space to hang it. Above her dresser her mom had hung a flower print with pink and yellow flowers, and Anna decided to take that down and replace it with the poster. She could even reuse the frame of the print as the poster was roughly the same size. After a bit of wrangling, she wasn’t really very handy, she managed to get the poster hung and as she stepped back to admire it, she found that she was really pleased with how it looked on her wall. She took a look around the rest of her room and sighed. Getting the poster up just accentuated how much the rest of the room was so not her. She slowly looked around at all the knick-knacks that she hadn’t picked and made a quick decision. She got a box from the closet in the hallway and went through her shelves removing anything that she didn’t like. Which basically meant removing anything her mother had picked. Which in turn basically meant removing everything. She felt kind of bad doing it, knowing that her mom had picked out all the things especially for her, because she loved her, but at the same time Anna felt like she needed to express her newfound self somehow. And if she couldn’t do it in her own room, she didn’t know where else she could.

After the purge the shelves looked a bit bare, but Anna decided it would have to do for now. She would fill them up soon enough with knick-knacks and picture frames she would pick out herself. She might even ask for permission to paint her room, as the yellow was really beginning to irritate her, and it was clashing with her new poster. As she was contemplating this her mom called her down for dinner. When they were all seated around the table, Anna tried to find the best moment to ask to repaint her room. Her mom was not the biggest fan of change, unless she herself initiated it, and with the whole couples-therapy thing going on, Anna felt like maybe she would feel that was enough change for a good long while. But her father might not be opposed to the idea, and if he could convince her mother to go to counseling he could maybe also convince her to let their daughter redecorate her room. As Anna’s mother finished a story about something that happened at work that day (Anna wasn’t really paying attention to the details) Anna decided to make her move. “So I was thinking,” she slowly started. Both her parents turned their full attention on her and she almost chickened out. But why should she be nervous about asking her own parents for permission to redecorate. Even if they said no to the paint job she could still do the smaller things. She plucked up her courage and soldiered on “The thing is I would like to redecorate my room. I’d really like to paint it too, if that’s okay?” Her father looked at her mother, who looked a little uncertain. Anna crossed her fingers under the table. Now that she had put it out there, she realized just how much she really wanted to do this. “Well, I don’t see a problem with that, do you, Jane?” her father said. Anna looked to her mother, who sort of looked like she did see a problem with that. Anna felt her hope starting to sink, only to hear her mother saying “No, I guess not,” in a tight voice. “Really?” Anna asked happily. It didn’t seem like her mother was too excited at the prospect, but she had agreed. “You can’t paint it black!” her mother stated sternly. “Jane, she doesn’t want to paint it black,” her father said exasperated, “do you?” he added suddenly concerned. “No,” Anna shook her head “I was thinking maybe blue or green or something. I don’t know. I’ll have to think some more about it,” she babbled excitedly. “Alright,” her dad said, digging into his stewed spinach again. Anna was way too exited to pay attention to the rest of the meal and as soon as it was over she shot up to her room to text Elsie.

THURSDAY

Next day Anna was on the lookout for Will. She saw him after the first class of the day headed for the library. She wanted to make sure they were still on for that afternoon, so she followed him inside and in between the stacked bookshelves. When she turned the final corner she saw that he had positioned himself in a corner with his book on his lap and his bag as an armrest on one side. “Hey,” she said and walked towards him. He practically jumped in the air when he heard her, but he seemed to relax when he realized it was only her. Anna felt bad for practically creeping on him, she wouldn’t like being snuck up on either. “Hey,” he responded and closed his book. “Are we still on for this afternoon?” Anna asked. He nodded and looked at her as if waiting for her next move. “Okay. Do you want to walk together?” Anna asked awkwardly. Will shook his head slightly. “No, I’ll just meet you at your house,” he said. “Okay,” Anna agreed, though she couldn’t see why they shouldn't walk together. But maybe he had something else to do first, or he just preferred to walk alone. He started opening his book again, but Anna didn’t feel like leaving just yet. “What are you reading?” she asked. He seemed almost puzzled by her question but he showed her the cover of the book in response. “Nicholas Nickleby,” she read out to herself, “is it any good?” “Yeah, I like it so far,” he answered. He didn’t really seem comfortable talking to her, and Anna started to feel like she was intruding. “Well, I have to get to class,” she said hesitantly. When he didn’t say anything to stop her she said “See you later” and left. He remained sitting and started reading his book again.

At lunch Anna and Elsie wanted to join Will outside again, but they couldn’t find him anywhere. As they were searching for him, Anna noticed the kids at the popular table looking at them. They only stopped when Anna and Elsie gave up on finding Will, and they settled at their usual table. Anna was slightly worried about the fact that she couldn’t find Will at lunch, but when she walked into art class, there he was, already sketching away on some loose papers on the desk. “Hey again,” Anna said as she sat down next to him. He only looked up quickly and gave her a timid smile, when he saw no one was looking at them. “I looked for you at lunch,” she said, “Elsie and I wanted to sit with you again.” “I was at the library,” he mumbled hardly loud enough for her to hear. When Mr. Franson walked in and started talking about the project they were working on now and the due date, which was soon, Anna started freaking out a bit. She realized she had left everything at home, and it didn’t seem like Will had brought anything with him either. She remembered he was supposed to bring some paper with him to her house later, and was relieved. She could get started on the collage of Will, she was sure to find some stuff she could use in the art room. She elbowed him softly and when he looked up she half-whispered “Did you bring the paper? I completely forgot to bring stuff from home to work with”. “I don’t have it with me,” Will said and before he could say anything else Anna started to freak out properly. She really didn’t like not being on top of her school work, and if Will didn’t have any paper, then this entire class would be wasted. Apparently Will could see how she was starting to freak out, because he shoved some of his papers her way and said, “relax, look, just try and work on some drawings to stick on it maybe, and we’ll be fine. I’ll have the paper this afternoon.” Anna nodded and looked at the paper in front of her. She had no idea what to do with it so she cast a sidelong glance at Will who was in the midst of drawing what looked like a sinking ship in a raging storm. There was no way she could imitate that, so she just started doodling circles, as Mr. Franson was moving their way, and she felt like she needed to be doing something at least. He cast a brief glance at their papers with a slightly confused look, but he decided to move on without questioning them about the relevance of sinking ships and doodles to their current project. As Will seemed content with not talking and just working on his shipwreck, Anna decided to just keep doodling. The circles started to remind her of wheels and soon she was sketching some wonky, but almost recognizable roller skates. She thought of the old pair that she had found in her closet a couple of days ago. She once again remembered how much fun she used to have rollerskating, when she was younger. As she started coloring the sketch, she thought that maybe she would buy some roller-skates and take that up again. She could try it out at least and see if she still liked it. Before she knew it, class ended and while they hadn’t exactly worked on the project Anna didn’t feel like she left class empty-handed. She had resolved to get her hands on some roller-skates and give it a go. It might be a massive fail, but she was determined to try, as part of her new project about herself. “Project Me,” she thought to herself and smiled. “What are you smiling at?” Elsie asked as she came up from behind Anna and ruffled her hair. “You look like a crazy person”. Anna just continued to smile, and fixing her hair, she asked “Do you know where I can get some cheap roller-skates?” “Roller-skates?” Elsie exclaimed surprised. “For you?” “Yes, for me,” Anna answered exasperated. Admittedly she wasn’t the most athletic person these days, but it shouldn’t be that big of a surprise. Elsie had biked alongside Anna on many a rollerskating trip, when they were kids. “I might…take it up again,” Anna said. “Alright” Elsie said, “my best guess would be the charity shop downtown, otherwise you have to buy new ones and they can be expensive. We can go have a look today after school.” “No, I can’t after school. Will is coming over to work on the art project,” Anna said. “Tomorrow then?” Elsie asked. “We can go to Green Beans and get some more of those yummy cookies afterwards,” she added with the gleam of expectation in her eyes. “Look who’s having sugar cravings now?” Anna said. “You’re rubbing off on me,” Elsie answered. “Tomorrow then?” she asked as she started heading off for her class. Anna nodded and went to her last class of the day.

As soon as she got home she headed to her room. She didn’t know how far behind Will was and she wanted to make sure she hadn’t left anything embarrassing lying around. She made sure her collage was well hidden under her bed, but otherwise her room was ready for showing. She wished it was a bit more personal. Not only for her sake, but for Will’s. He would have a hard time squeezing any inspiration out of this room.

It took about half an hour for Will to show up, paper in hand. Anna invited him in, and told her mom that they were going to study in her room. Her mom had come out of the kitchen to meet Will, and as Anna followed him up the stairs her mom whispered “Keep the door open, please.” Anna mouthed “MOM!” at her and hoped Will hadn’t heard. Anna opened the door to her room and let him step in first. She stayed behind as he took in her room. He slowly looked all around him, but didn’t single items out for further scrutiny. When he was finished he turned to her, and handed her the paper. “Um, I know my room is not really very personal, but do you think you can make something?” she asked timidly. She didn’t want him to feel like she was cheating him or something, since he had shown her his room, which felt way more intimate than this. “Yeah, I think I’ll manage,” he said. He sat down on the floor with his back resting against the side of her bed and pulled his sketchbook out of his bag. “If you don’t mind my asking…” he started. Anna nodded to encourage him. “Did you decorate this yourself?” he finished. “No, actually my mom picked most of the things and the colors when I was younger. She likes to keep it clean,” she added as a sort of explanation. Will only nodded and look around him again. “What’s your favorite thing?” he suddenly asked. Anna was stumped. She looked around her room as if something would suddenly reveal itself to her as her favorite thing. “Umm…” she stalled. Then she realized that anything on display in her room wasn’t really hers, as much as something her mom had picked out. She went to the closet again to take a look at all the things that had been deemed unworthy by her mother. Will observed her quietly, while she rummaged around. Tucked away in the corner Anna unearthed an old bag. It was a messenger bag of blue canvas, covered with badges and pins that she and Elsie had collected. It had been her school bag for years, but by the time she started high school her mother had gotten her a sensible backpack in neutral colours with practical pockets and a built-in rain cover. Her mother had insisted that all the heavy books would ruin her posture if she slung the messenger bag over her shoulder. It was much more sensible to use a backpack with back support. The messenger bag had been relegated to the corner of the closet, and Anna hadn’t really thought about it since. She had been busy blending in at high school and her sensible, boring backpack had helped her do just that. Now she pulled the messenger bag from the closet and showed it to Will. She held it out to him almost like a question. Is this good enough, she seemed to say. She still didn’t trust her own judgment. Her mother had taken care of that for her for years, but she felt like it was time to reclaim that aspect of her life. Will nodded and she put the bag on the floor in front of him. “Do you need more?” she asked, ready to dig into the closet again if need be. “No, this is fine. I think I will do a sketch of this,” he said and started drawing. “Alright” Anna said. She settled down with her collage materials. She thought about his room again and the feeling it had about it and how to evoke that feeling in a collage. She started flipping through a pile of magazines she had collected, but there were not many dragons or band pictures in her mom’s interior design magazines. Instead she decided to take to the internet and started Googling some of the stuff she remembered from his room. As she was struggling to find the right starting point Will seemed to be going on nicely. The bag was already coming to life in his sketch, and Anna started feeling stressed that she was practically still clueless about what to do. Desperate for any sort of inspirations she asked him if he had finished his book. “Hmm?” he asked distractedly. “The book you were reading at the library today?” she explained, “did you finish it?” Will looked up and said “No, not yet.” After a few beats of silence he seemed to decide to try harder at conversation, so he added “but I really like it so far. Have you read it?” “No,” Anna said, “although I feel like I should, it being Dickens and all. I feel like you are supposed to read stuff like that, but usually it’s just really boring.” She dejectedly clicked around on a website trying to figure out if it was even a site for the band she was googling. “Dickens is far from boring. Well, I mean a few of his books aren’t the best, but Nicholas Nickleby is not boring at all,” Will said. “Maybe I’ll give it a try then,” Anna said, noncommittally. “You really should. I think it’s one of his best ones,” Will said. “What’s your favorite book?” he then asked. Anna had her answer ready, courtesy of her “Project Me” collage. “The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman,” she answered readily. “Or really the whole series, but that’s the first book. Do you know it?” Will said he didn’t and asked what it was about. Anna gave a brief summary and recommended it to him. “What’s your favorite then?” she asked. “I really like “The Lord of the Rings” he said. When he found out she had never read it, he insisted she must. He gave her a summary of the story and she had to admit it sounded very interesting. She had always thought those books were for young men who made little figurines and moved them around on a felt battlefield in their mom’s basement. She resolved to put them and Nicholas Nickleby on the list of things she was going to check out. They continued to talk while both of them worked on their projects, Will’s moving along much faster than Anna’s. But she still felt like she was making headway now, Googling things as Will mentioned them and bookmarking them for printing out later. She wasn’t sure the collage would more than scratch the surface of Will, but it was the best she could do right now.

A knock on the door announced her mother, tray in hand. “I thought I would bring you kids some snacks and see how you were doing,” she said, coming into the room to set down the tray on the table. Will casually closed his sketchbook and smiled up at her. “Thank you, Mrs. Fitzwilliam,” he said. “Of course,” she answered distractedly, as she tried to figure out exactly what they were doing. She handed Will a glass of lemonade and as he turned away to set it on Anna’s bedside table her mom made eyes at her, looking pointedly at Will and back at her. Anna didn’t know what she was getting at and just looked questioningly back at her. “So Will,” her mom suddenly almost yelled “would you like to stay for dinner?” She smiled at him sitting on the floor. Anna knew that must be difficult for her as her mother thought sitting on the floor was meant for dogs and not people. “No thanks, m’am, my dad is expecting me home for dinner,” Will answered politely and Anna’s mom nodded at him and turned to walk out of the room. As her back was to Will she once again made a weird face at Anna. Only when she had left did it dawn on Anna that maybe her mother thought that Will was her soulmate. Maybe that was why she had allowed a study date on such short notice and let them stay in her room and served them cookies before dinner. She grabbed a cookie, as she thought about it. Her mother would be sorely disappointed if she knew. She threw a cookie at Will, who had opened his sketchbook again. He only smiled and gulped it down in two bites. He seemed fully engrossed in his sketch now and Anna returned to Google. They worked for a bit in silence, and then Will asked how she was getting on with her collage. “Okay, I think” Anna answered. She would have to work hard at it on the weekend, but she was starting to feel like it would be okay. “I have to get going,” Will said and started packing up his things. “Okay,” Anna said as she got up to walk him to the door. “Should we meet again to work on it? Maybe Sunday?” “Um, maybe,” Will said. Anna walked him to the door and he said goodbye to her mom as they passed her in the hall.

WEDNESDAY

At school the next day Anna was sleepwalking through the entire thing. Luckily most of the day was uneventful, and she had Elsie to help guide her through it. When she had first woken up in the morning she had received a reply to her text from Elsie. Simply a winky-faced emoji.

At the end of the day, she realized she hadn’t seen Will all day. She worried slightly, but he was scarily good at flying under the radar, so maybe she just hadn’t noticed him in her sleep-deprived state. She quickly put that out of her mind in order to think about Tumblr, and how she would delve even deeper into it once she got home.

At home she headed straight to her room and logged in. She spent a couple of hours just browsing and researching really, confirming everything she had learned the night before and learning new things again. After a little while she felt sated and sat back, needing to think things through a bit. A calm came over her as she thought about the fact that she was not abnormal. There were people out there who felt just like her, and while she didn’t know any in real life, they were abundant online, and Anna hoped to get to know some of them better. She felt undecided, however, about whether or not she should tell her parents or anyone else about her discovery. From what she could gather from the other asexual people online, a lot of them were not taken seriously when or if they “came out”. A lot of people threw it off casually and said that once they met their soulmate they would feel differently. And that was another incident of the stigma that followed anyone who didn’t follow the soulmate system. But some people had met their soulmates and didn’t feel any different. You would think the soulmate of an asexual person would also be asexual, but that was apparently not necessarily true, and this could lead to conflict. Anna had read the blog of one girl who had her soulmate become her stalker, because she wan’t interested in a relationship with him, while he insisted that of course they should be together. It was written right there on their bodies in indelible writing. It had gotten ugly, and the girl had finally had to move to get away from him, but she wrote about how she just didn’t feel safe anymore, and how no-one had really believed her or taken her seriously, when she mentioned her concerns about him, because he was her soulmate, so it was only right that they should be together. Some thought he might have been a bit aggressive about it, but she felt like they deep-down blamed her for not wanting to be with him. Like she had driven him to do all these crazy things, because in her stubbornness she refused to do the right thing and just follow the path the system had set out. It was scary reading, and Anna didn’t know if she was ready for dealing with quite that level of hate, despite her new-found will to be herself and not care what others thought of her. In the end she decided that baby-steps was fine. She had told Elsie, and now she was about to be getting into this whole Tumblr thing. She could wait a while before telling others. She felt like she needed to educate herself on all things asexual in order to answer the questions that would invariably follow any revelation on her side.

Having settled that in her mind, she felt at peace almost. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the collage and decided to work on it. She felt like she had a whole lot to add to it by now.

When she came down for dinner, her parents were waiting for her with somber faces. “Anna, we need to talk,” her father said and gestured for her to sit at the dinner table. It was laid out with a full roast dinner, something that only happened whenever her mom was nervous about something. Cooking all the separate little dishes apparently relaxed her, while Anna just found it stressful. They all sat down, and Anna looked to her mom, who would not meet her eye. Her dad spoke up instead. “Anna, your mother feels like we should not be telling you this, but I do not think there is any reason to hide it. Your mother and I are seeing a couple’s therapist.” Silence descended on the table. Anna was stunned. She knew how her mother felt about people who went to therapy. She thought they were too self-indulgent and too lazy to fix their own problems. Anna found it hard to believe that her mother was one of those people now. Her mother didn’t look too happy about it though. Her lips were tightly pressed together and her face looked like she had smelt something rotten. Anna looked to her father again for a further explanation. He obliged and started talking “You know we’ve been having trouble for a while. It seems like we can’t talk anymore without arguing. I felt like we needed someone to help us get through it. Since we’re soulmates,” he added and looked pointedly at Anna’s mother. She returned his stare with one equally pointed and passed the potatoes to Anna who, stunned, just held the bowl in her hands. She still didn’t know what to think.  Her mother spoke up. “We would like to keep this in the family. So don’t tell any of your friends. Not even Elsie.” She started passing the rest of the dishes around and Anna had to stop thinking about it in order to keep up with all the food coming her way. Once her plate was piled high and the passing  of the food had stopped, her mom started in with endless questions about school and homework and college. College wasn’t even close yet, but Anna had the feeling she would grasp at any subject to keep the conversation going, and more importantly, away from the therapy sessions.

Only once Anna was again in her room did she have time to think about it. She had noticed her parents’ fights increasing both in volume and in abundance. She figured it was a good thing they were talking to someone about it, as it was almost bound to end badly if they were left to their own devices. But it must have been really bad in order for her mom to accept going to see a therapist. She could only think of one thing that would have driven her mom to accept that, and that was her father threatening to leave. Anna shivered to think that the family had come so close to falling apart. But she appreciated the fact that both her parents were apparently willing to put in some hard work to make it last. She was slightly worried that it wouldn't be enough though, but she didn’t really know what she could do about it at this point. She decided to work her worries into her collage. Getting them out of her head helped her feel a bit more calm about the whole thing. The collage was really shaping up to be her therapy, she thought, helping her figure things out and come to terms with them.

TUESDAY

Next day at school she met Elsie who gave her a stern look. “Forget something?” she asked. Anna didn’t know what she was talking about. Elsie slapped her on the arm; “you were supposed to call me yesterday with dirt”. Anna rolled her eyes. “You and dirt!” she said, “it’s like an obsession.” “Well then, be my enabler and feed this obsession like I feed your obsession with cookies,” Elsie demanded. Anna duly told Elsie everything that had happened after they parted ways in town. “So are you gonna start hanging out with him now?” Elsie asked. “Maybe,” Anna said defensively, “why not?” even though she knew why not. Hanging around Will would rob her of her popular-ish status and make her a loser by association. But she found that that thought was not as frightening to her as it had been even the day before. Elsie simply gave her a look and did not respond.

Even though she kept a look-out for Will, she didn’t see him until just before lunch. He was headed for his usual lunch spot in the court yard. Acting on a sudden impulse Anna decided to join him. Just as she turned to head out the door Elsie grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Where are you going?” she demanded. “I thought I would eat lunch with Will,” Anna explained in a faux casual voice. Elsie gave her a look and said “You do know what that entails don’t you?” She cast a glance at the popular table where Matt and Jeff were holding court yet again. Anna thought about it for a second, but quickly decided that she was tired of being constantly concerned about her place in the high school hierarchy. She decided to thrown caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may. “Yeah, I know” she answered Elsie. “Alright, let’s go,” Elsie responded. “You’re coming too? Do YOU know what this entails?” Anna asked, surprised. She knew Elsie gave off an air of not caring about her status at school, but Anna had always thought that Elsie secretly enjoyed being well-liked by everyone and having a hassle-free day to day life. All that could quickly change if the popular crowd changed their opinion of her. “I’m not letting my best friend commit social suicide alone,“ Elsie responded, “and maybe it’s time we shook things up a bit around here.” She gave Anna a smile and headed out the door straight for the benches were Will was sat eating his sandwich. He looked surprised and wary when they joined him on the bench and seemed to look around the school yard, as if he were searching for someone looking at them, ready to make fun, whenever Elsie and Anna invariably played a trick on him. The girls acted like nothing was out of the ordinary though, and after Anna had briefly introduced the two, Elsie started up a conversation about the song they were practicing in band at the time. It was more a soliloquy than a conversation, as it only required someone to nod and smile at the right moments. Elsie carried on like this, until Will seemed to relax a little and then proceeded to ask him and Anna how their joint project was going. With a little help from Anna they were able to coax Will into talking about art again, and they continued chatting for the rest of the lunch break.

Once lunch was over and they went back inside Anna noticed that a group of popular kids were giving her dirty looks in the hallway. She sighed inwardly, she had hoped it would be a little while before anyone noticed her small-scale rebellion. But apparently word travelled fast, as Joelle sat down next to her in math class and in a superior voice said “So? You are hanging out with the loser these days?” Anna looked at her, but didn’t deign to answer. Joelle was second in command to the queen bee of the school, Victoria. “Jeff says you have a project with him, but that is no reason to hang out with him at lunch. You are one of us, barely, so if I were you I would be careful, who I have lunch with”. With that Joelle got up and left in a huff, retreating to her usual seat in the back.

Anna spent most of math class thinking about Joelle’s comment and the ramifications of her choices when it came to who she decided to befriend. When class was finally over Anna was in the midst of an existential crisis, and she decided to skip the rest of her classes for the day. She couldn’t go home as her mom would know she skipped school, so she headed for the Green Beans cafe that was quickly becoming a favorite spot. There were only a few people in the cafe as it was only early afternoon. When Andy spotted her waiting at the counter, he greeted her with a big smile and said “Anna! you are just in time! These chocolate macadamia cookies are fresh out of the oven.” Anna nodded and ordered one cookie and a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. “Go find a table and I’ll bring it over,“ Andy said. Anna retreated to the table in the corner which she now started to think of as “the usual” table. She sat down and was quickly lost in thoughts again. After a few minutes Andy interrupted her reverie with her order. He hovered a bit by the table, but then seemed to make a decision and he sat down across form her. “Not to pry,” he said, “but shouldn’t you be in school?” Anna looked guiltily at him, but he quickly held up his hands and said “I won’t tell anyone, I was just wondering what made you want to ditch and come here in stead?” “Remember that guy we talked about yesterday? The one that stood me up for our study-date?” Andy nodded, “Yeah, what happened to him? Did you find out?” “He is being bullied at school, and he had a bit of a run-in with the bullies yesterday.” Anna proceeded to explain about the sketchbook, the art project, how Will was actually nice and she felt bad for him and was trying to make up for it by becoming his friend, and how this decision might affect her own standing at school, which was rocky at best. “So you are trying to decide what means more to you? Being a friend to Will or making sure you don’t lose your popularity?” Andy asked. “When you put it like that I sound like a horrible person,” Anna mumbled and dejectedly took a sip of her drink. “No,” Andy protested, “there is nothing wrong with wanting to be popular yourself. In this case it just seems like you have to make sure it’s worth it. It sounds like there are things you want to do, that you feel like you can’t because that might hurt your status. Like being friends with Will for example.” “It’s not just that, “ Anna said, “I feel like I have to be on constant watch to make sure I don’t do anything wrong, and sometimes I don’t even know if something would be considered wrong, so I just don’t do anything. And I’m getting kind of sick of always worrying about what others might think of me.” “Sounds like you need to sit down and figure out what kind of person you want to be,” Andy said and left the table as a new customer entered the cafe. “Easier said than done,” Anna mumbled looking gloomily out the window. After a short interval Andy returned to her table and sat down again. “You know, when I was having trouble finding out what things meant to me, something that really helped me was getting my thoughts out creatively.” Anna just stared blankly at him. “This art project of yours that you just told me about..maybe you could use that as a way of sorting through your thoughts and figuring out which ones are the important ones for you,” Andy suggested. Anna was just about to ask how she was meant to do that as she was so terrible at art, when yet another new customer entered the cafe and Andy had to leave her table to serve them. Anna finished her drink and cookie and waited around a bit, but as it was late afternoon by this time and people were starting to get off work and school, the cafe became busier and Andy didn’t have time to talk to her anymore. After a while she decided to get going to Will’s house. As she left the cafe Andy gave her a smile and wave from behind the counter where he was busy serving customers. Anna felt like it had helped to talk to him even though she wasn’t sure she had really gotten much actual help from it. His suggestion of doing art to help her figure things out was something of a lame duck due to her artistic abilities, and if she was being honest it wasn’t just the thing with Will either. Lately she had been thinking a lot about herself and her feelings or lack thereof when it came to soulmates. She was convinced something must be wrong with her since she had absolutely no interest in finding her soulmate. Well, that wasn’t entirely true either. She thought it would be nice to have a companion like that and she thought the idea of sex and the like was nice, but she had no interest in actually doing it. She thought that maybe it was just because she hadn’t tried it yet, and it would be different once she just got it over with, but at the back of her mind there was a nagging voice saying maybe she didn’t even want to try it. The idea of sex and companionship seemed nice, but actually doing it in practice with sweaty bodies and huffing and puffing just put Anna off. She spent the rest of the walk to Will’s house deep in thought.

When she finally got there Will opened the door on her first knock and let her inside. “So I thought we should get started on the project, so I found some stuff we can use,” he said as he led her into the living room where he showed her the coffee table overflowing with art supplies. “Great,” Anna said. From the brainstorming session the night before and with some inspiration from Will she had decided to make a collage. It seemed like the kind of thing that required the least artistic talent as such, even though Anna was sure it was still going to be hard. They sat down at the table and Anna started pulling cardboard and scissors and other pieces towards her. Once she had it all arranged neatly around her, she looked at the blank paper and then realized that she knew next to nothing about Will. Concerned she looked up at him. “I…” she started. This was kind of awkward. But in the spirit of not caring what people thought of her anymore she decided to just come out with it. “So I don’t really know you, and I guess you don’t know me either. How are we going to make portraits of each other without our faces in them?” Will seemed just as stumped for ideas as she was. “I guess we have to get to know each other fast,” Will said. “How do you propose we do that?” Anna asked After a heartbeat of silence Anna gave a snort-laugh. “That sounded really sexual,” she said, “I didn’t mean it like that, promise!” Will smiled too, and seemed to think of something. “Well, I don’t know about you but my room is pretty personal. So maybe we could show each other our rooms and work from that?” he suggested. Anna thought about it. Her room wasn’t really too personal. Of course she had decorated it with things she liked, but her mom was kind of a neat freak so there was a limit to the amount of knick knacks she could get away with. Come to think of it she didn’t really feel like her room represented her at all, mostly since she didn’t even know herself who she really was. She must have subconsciously made a face, because Will started backtracking pretty hard. “Or if you think that’s a stupid idea, we can just do something else.” He started picking at the craft supplies on the table, while avoiding looking her in the eyes. “No I think it’s a great idea,” Anna said. “But you might not, when you see my room,” she added in her mind. “Okay,” Will said and stood up. “I guess we will start with my room then.” “Okay”. Anna stood up too and waited for him to show the way. He seemed to hesitate for a moment but then he shook it off and led her down the hall to the door that led into his bedroom. He seemed nervous as she entered and he hung back by the door. He had been right, his room was really personal. The walls were full of what Anna assumed were his own drawings, pictures of his family and pictures of other teens Anna assumed were his friends, but whom she didn’t recognize from school. The desk was littered with pencils and colored pens and paper of various sorts and the bookshelf was overflowing with books, cd’s, old vinyl records and even more pictures. The walls were partly filled by artsy posters, some from the Hunger Games universe and some she didn’t recognize. The color that could be seen behind the posters and the pictures was a deep skye blue. Anna took a slow tour of the entire room, every once in while glancing back at Will when she was about to look closer at something, as if seeking his permission. He seemed really tense about it, but he let her look at everything she wanted. When she was done she felt like she knew Will a little better. Some of the things in his book and music collection she knew of, like Green Day, Harry Potter, Charles Dickens, The Beatles and Ryan Adams. Others she had never heard of before, like Erich Maria Remarque, Langhorne Slim and The Dead Weather. She made a mental note to check out a few of the things when she got back home. She turned to Will and gave a small nod to indicate that she was done. “All ready to do my portrait now?” Will asked. “I think so,” Anna replied, “at least one good enough to fool Mr. Franson.” “Let’s get started then” Will said and led the way back to the living room. “But what are you going to do? Don’t you need to see my room too?” Anna asked. She was afraid showing him her room wouldn’t be much help, but she felt like she had to return the favor. “I’ll just doodle today and then we can figure out a day to meet at your place,” Will said. Anna felt bad for getting a head start, but to be honest she could probably use it, and from looking at Will’s work on his walls he was talented enough to turn something out that would satisfy Mr. Franson in no time. Will settled down with his sketchbook and Anna started picking round in the pieces of paper available to her. She started collecting things she thought would fit, but she had to admit she didn’t really have a vision for the thing yet. Will observed her quietly, looking up from the sketchbook every now and again, but he made no comment on her progress. Or lack thereof. Anna was grateful for the silence. She felt like this was kind of her process when it came to art. Starting off in kind of a clueless way and just doing seemingly random things until she hit on something she could use. Soon they heard the pitter-patter of small feet and the two kids came into the room, clearly just awoken from their nap. They headed straight for Will and cuddled up in his lap as he sat on the floor, putting away his sketchbook to accommodate them. “I don’t think I introduced you guys properly yesterday,” he said. “This is Emily and Eric, my younger siblings, and this is my friend Anna”. The kids gave Anna a sleepy-eyed look in return for her little wave. “I’m sorry, but I have to make dinner for these two,” Will said, “but you can just keep working”. “Oh no, that’s okay” Anna said, “I have to be getting home anyway. Is it okay if I take this home with me?” Anna asked holding up the pretty barren collage. “Sure,” Will said, “but are you sure you don’t want to stay until my dad gets home and then I can drive you. It’s a pretty long walk”. “No, it’s okay, I can manage. I probably need the fresh air anyway.” Anna replied rolling up the collage and carefully sticking it in her bag.

All the way home Anna thought some more about her situation. She felt like if she continued to behave in order to please others, she would never figure out who she really was, but at the same time she wasn’t sure if she was brave enough to stand up to all the stuff at school and not care if she became an outcast.

When she reached home she was still unresolved as to what to do and all that thinking about it was starting to give her a headache. When she opened the front door, she immediately heard her parents’ loud voices and sighed. They were at it again. Anna’s parents were soulmates, but somehow they just could not seem to get through a week without fighting. It sounded like it was the same old fight; her mom feeling like her dad didn’t do enough for the family, her dad shouting that all he ever did was for the family. Anna knew that her parents had met when they were quite young, and had gotten together, perhaps before they were ready to start such a serious relationship. But being soulmates of course they had to get together. Anna’s dad had had plans to travel the world before settling down, but he put that to the side when he met Anna’s mom who’s biggest dream was to settle down and begin to live the perfect life as soon as possible. Now, it seemed, he was beginning to regret not going and Anna’s mom was holding it against him. She couldn’t let go of the fact that he wasn’t happy with the perfect suburban life she had created for them. Anna was headed upstairs to her room as the shouting continued. Suddenly she heard her father’s exasperated voice shouting “Maybe we should just split up then?” There was a stunned silence in the kitchen, and even Anna had stopped dead on the stairs. She strained her ears to listen to the answer that came in her mother’s stunned voice. “But we’re soulmates”. That was always the closing argument from her mother, as there was clearly nothing to say against this. Anna listened intently for more, but she only heard her father’s footsteps and the slam of the kitchen door behind him. She retreated to her room, before her mom would find her lurking on the stairs.

That was yet another thing that was wrong with the soulmate system, Anna realized.  Her parents had met when they were too young and had gotten together solely because “they were meant to be”, but now they seemed lost, like they didn’t even really know each other, because neither of them had had time to get to know themselves. Anna realized that she didn’t want to end up like them, stuck in a relationship with someone she maybe didn’t really care about, not having had time to live out her dreams. She didn’t even know what her dreams were exactly. But it was time to figure it out. When she reached her room she dumped the contents of her bag on the floor, getting out the collage she had started making for Will’s portrait. She cleared the poster paper of the few things she had stuck on there and started thinking about who she was and who she would like to be. She looked around her room. Will would definitely be disappointed, it was so generic. Any teen girl in the country could have been living here, there was nothing that hinted at it being specifically Anna’s room. The walls were a light yellow and all the furniture was white. There were a few carefully selected (by her mom) knick knacks on display on her shelves along with her school books, and even fewer picture frames. Even these were carefully curated by her mom, so they were mostly family snaps. Anna had only managed to sneak in a couple of her and Elsie. Any sort of mess (or potential for mess) was tucked away in closets, drawers and baskets to keep the room uncluttered. Now that Anna was taking such a close look at her room, she realized she didn’t really like it. Yellow was not her favorite color, but her mother had insisted that it would be bright, but not too bright. What did that even mean? All the furniture were very frilly and girly and while Anna might not know exactly what she wanted, she realized it wasn’t that. She looked back at the blank paper and thought she should start with the basics. “Favorite color” she mumbled to herself. She had a think and letting her gaze flit around the room it landed suddenly on the tree outside. “Green,” she decided. She had only brought a few supplies from Will’s house and nothing green. She got up and went to her closet. This was her stash for all things deemed unworthy of display. And that was a lot. In her closet she not only had her clothes, but also old favorite toys, scrapbooks, mementoes from her childhood and all sorts of old stuff that she had kept hidden from her mother, simply in order to feel like she had some sort of control of what was in her room, even if it was tucked away out of sight. Anna had gone to the closet in an attempt to try and find some basic art supplies she thought she might have put there when she realized she was not going to be the next Picasso at the very beginning of the school year. Before she found the art supplies, she came upon some old roller blades of hers from when she was a kid. She used to love roller blading, but when she became older her mom had lightly pushed her to give it up because it was too rowdy and dirty for a young lady. Anna put the roller blades on the floor next to the empty poster paper. She didn’t know where this was going, but she remembered how good she had felt flying down the sidewalk, leaving the pedestrians behind. She wanted some of that feeling back. She continued digging around in the closet and came up with not only the art supplies, but a number of items from her childhood that inspired the same sort of feeling as the roller blades. It seemed like Anna had known who she was going to be when she was younger, but that certainty had faded with the years. Come to think of it, she was almost sure, she had begun to loose it all when the tattoo finally appeared, and her mother began preparing her for life with her soulmate, which apparently entailed being a young lady with no interests other than being a wife.

With her limited art supplies Anna started working on her collage and on herself. Favorite color - green Favorite animal -  wombat Favorite music - right now, Ryan Adams, but she was definitely going to broaden her horizon by listening to a lot more Favorite book - again she would broaden her horizons on this one, but for right now - The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman Favorite movie - she thought that might be the Harry Potter movies, but she was open to suggestions. Favorite food - mashed potatoes and a side of asparagus. Favorite drink - hot chocolate or lemon soda for cold drinks

Going a bit deeper she started to think about which relationships were important to her. She thought about all the people in her life and who’s opinion would matter more to her. Elsie was top of the list, then her parents and then surprisingly Will and Andy. She found that these two rather new people in her life mattered to her in a way that Jeff and Matt and their cronies didn’t, even though she had known them longer. Of course she hardly knew Andy or even Will, despite the room tour that afternoon, but there was just something there that sparked an interest.

When she had gotten that far, there was a knock at the door and her mom showed up in the doorway. She seemed to baulk at the mess Anna had created on the floor, but uncharacteristically she did not comment. In stead she said “Your father and I are going out for dinner. I’ve left you some money for pizza on the kitchen counter. Try to make sure you get some vegetables on it. You have all our emergency numbers?” Anna only nodded. This was very weird. They hardly ever had pizza, and spontaneous dinner dates were unheard of. Anna’s mom was a planner to the highest degree. She had already started planning Anna’s graduation party which was over a year away. Her mom left the room again and soon after Anna heard the car leaving. She descended to the kitchen and true enough there was money on the counter. Anna immediately called Elsie and asked her to come over. When Elsie heard that Anna’s mom had left pizza money and left Anna alone as she went on a spur-of-the-moment date with her husband, she said she would be straight over. This was unheard of and needed gossiping about.

So Elsie came over and they ordered pizza and spent a good long while talking about what could have brought this on. “They were fighting again today,” Anna said. “‘bout what?” Elsie asked with her mouth full “The usual,” Anna answered. Elsie knew of the many fights of Anna’s parents. Once or twice she had even overheard a few snippets, when Mrs. Fitswilliam didn’t know she was there. Mrs. Fitzwilliam would never fight in front of others, let alone in front of kids. There was a slight pause as Elsie finished chewing her mouthful of pizza. “What do you think about the soulmate system?” Elsie asked hesitantly. Anna, glancing over at the unfinished collage turned against the wall in the corner of her room, decided now was the time to be brave, and said “I think it sucks!”. She held her breath for a heartbeat while she waited for Elsie’s response. “Me too!” she said “Really?” Anna asked surprised. The two of them had never really discussed their feelings about the soulmate system, and Anna had always assumed she was one of the few who had any misgivings about it. “Yeah,” Elsie answered, “it’s unfair that it can take over people’s lives like that. I mean, look at some of the kids at school, they are completely obsessed with it, and it’s ruining their lives. Or at least some of their lives. I think there a very few who don’t get shafted by the soulmate system in some way or other.” “Me too,” was all Anna could say. She deliberated telling Elsie of her problem with her own soulmate. She felt like they were closer to the topic now than ever before, but Anna was still not quite sure how Elsie would react. Once again she looked to the collage for courage and decided to come clean. “Elsie?” “Yeah?” Elsie said, refraining from picking mushrooms off the pizza and looking at Anna instead. Anna wasn’t sure how to begin, so she just started blurting it all out. “You know I have a soulmate tattoo right? I mean everyone does, duh, but I mean…I don’t know. You know how I’ve been dating guys, but not really feeling it?” Anna asked “Yeah,” Elsie said again, but her interest seemed peeked. “Well, I just don’t think I will ever really feel it. Even with my soulmate. I’m just not interested,” Anna stated. “I mean a relationship might be nice but the thought of sex actually turns me off. I just find it…gross…Do you think there is something wrong with me?” Anna looked to Elsie hoping for a sympathetic answer and not a brush off of the “One you find your soulmate it will be different-kind”. “No,” Elsie said very seriously, “I don’t think there is anything wrong with you.” Anna was slightly stunned. She had hoped Elsie would say something like this, but she found that now it was said she hadn’t really expected it. She was relieved, but she also didn’t really know how to move on from there. Elsie, meanwhile seemed to gather her courage and she said: “Anna, I have something to tell you too. You know that I also have a tattoo.” She began to unwind the bracelets covering her wrist. Anna looked on, perplexed, Elsie was normally so careful to hide her tattoo. “The thing is, the name on my arm…it’s a girl’s name,” Elsie finished unwrapping her wrist and showed it to Anna. It was indeed a girl’s name. “I’ve been hiding it because I saw how they treated Will when they found out about his tattoo. I mean I was hiding it before too, but I have been extra careful and tense about it since then.” “I won’t tell anyone,” Anna blurted. She wanted to be supportive, but that was all she could think of saying. Elsie laughed. “I know you won’t, but I felt bad hiding it from you. And besides, I think I can help you with your problem.” “You can?” Anna asked doubtingly. “Well sort of. This can become quite awkward, but I know for a fact that the sex education in school was sorely lacking and I assume your parents haven’t really talked to you about it?” Anna cringed as she remembered the awkward class in school preaching abstinence until marriage and the even more awkward conversation her mother had insisted on having with her about saving herself for her soulmate and preferably not even kissing other boys. Elsie continued: “I’ve known I was gay…well since the tattoo showed up pretty much, but I only really became reconciled with it when I found this great community of other gay people on this website called Tumblr. There is a whole bunch of cool people on there, and they really helped me out. Some of the people are gay, but some are bisexual or asexual.” Anna knew of homosexuality and bisexuality, but she had never heard of the last one. “What do you mean asexual?” Anna asked, slightly confused “It’s basically people who never “feel it”, like people who are just not interested in the sexual aspect of a relationship. There are different degrees of it, like some people might like the romance and kissing and stuff and some don’t like that either. So if you don’t feel interested in the sex stuff even at the thought of your soulmate that might be it. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.There are a ton of people like that out there.” Anna was amazed. All her life she had though that something was wrong with her. She had practically forced herself to be interested in boys and relationships and the sexy images abounding in advertising all around her. She had thought that maybe she was just immature and those feelings would come at some point, and she wouldn’t have to be embarrassed by the heavily edited sex scenes in TV shows that everyone at school gushed about. She had kissed boys and let them feel her up, even when she was supremely uninterested, because she thought she could force the feelings she thought she was supposed to be feeling. But if other people really felt the same, then maybe she wasn’t broken and she didn’t need fixing.

Elsie was looking carefully at Anna during this revelation. She was afraid that she had revealed too much too soon, and started wrapping her bracelets around her wrist again. Anna would probably need some time to digest all this. And when she had, she would come back around to the fact that Elsie was gay. Elsie knew Anna had been vaguely supportive, but that might just be the shock of the moment speaking. She might feel differently when she had had time to think about it. Anna interrupted this reverie with the words “Show me!” She impatiently got up to get her computer and bring it to Elsie on the bed. “Show me the website.” Elsie slowly cracked a smile. This might be alright after all. Just as she had pulled up the starting page for Tumblr, they heard the door slam and Anna’s parents walk in. They were talking to each other in hushed, angry voices and Anna and Elsie looked warily at each other. They heard someone coming up the stairs and Anna had just closed the screen on her computer when her mother walked in the room. “Anna, we…oh, Elsie! I wasn’t expecting you,” she exclaimed when she saw the two girls in Anna’s room. “Anna told me she was home alone and my mom said I should come over and keep her company,” Elsie explained with a bright smile. She knew she wasn’t Mrs. Fitzwilliams’ favorite person, but she also knew Mrs. Fitzwilliam would never question the choices of another parent. In front of their kid, that is. She thought that all parents needed to present a united front to all kids, so she kept her criticisms private. Sort of. “But it’s getting late and I should be getting home now,” Elsie continued, as she got off the bed and started gathering her things. Anna quickly jumped up and said “I’ll walk you to the door”. The two girls walked downstairs and Anna gave Elsie a tight, quick hug and whispered a “Thank you” in her ear, before letting her go.

When she was closing the door her mom came down the stairs. “Did you want to talk to me?” Anna asked her, as she had never finished the sentence that was interrupted by Elsie’s unexpected presence. Her mom seemed to waiver a little but then said “No, I just wanted to let you know we were home again.” “Did you have fun?” Anna asked. A pained expression showed on her mom’s face and Anna wondered what that meant. “Yes, we did, thank you for asking, but you need to get to bed. It’s getting late,” Mrs. Fitzwilliam answered in a distracted manner. Anna complied and giving her mom a  goodnight kiss as they passed headed back up to her room. She got ready for bed, but when her mom had done the obligatory walk-by to check that she was in fact sleeping, Anna quickly got her computer out and pulled up the website Elsie had shown her. Once she had made a profile (with the already embarrassing username of Wombat Wallflower) she looked at the start screen at a loss for what to do. Timidly she typed in “asexual” in the search bar, afraid that it would come up empty, despite Elsie’s promise that there were tons of people like that out there. The search did not come up empty, but returned a multitude of blogs and posts all about asexuality and the people who identified as such. Anna was intrigued and eagerly started clicking around. It seemed to be like Elsie had said, but she need to see it for herself in order to really believe it. The website held plenty of evidence of people just like her existing out there in the real world and Anna spent hours just clicking and reading. Finally she could not keep her eyes open anymore and she decided to get some sleep. Just as she lay her head down on her pillow she realized something and quickly sat up reaching for her phone and typing out a text to Elsie.

Anna: Wait!! Is this why you always hang out with the girls volley ball team??!!1?