stupid and contagious

Best time ever in LA! My mum’s making a film with Melissa McCarthy ‘nd also I met 50 Cent?

Everybody ditched me, not cool. Did you make out with Melissa McCartney? I would. By the way, I missed you.

Our apartment is still a mess.

Was I supposed to vacuum or something? Nobody told me to...

Week in Miami and never thought I’d miss Covington.

I was about to say not cool to ditch me for a week but I realized I did the exact same thing... So hey.

Like a true non-American, my father, brother, and I spent last night being entirely British and getting piss drunk. Lovely way to celebrate Independence Day, if you ask me.

See, I'm pretty sure everyone spent last night getting piss drunk. I know I did.

I guess. Why do you feel like shit? I know why I do, fucking allergies man.

Sometimes I just feel like shit for a long time. Just happens.

Why do I always feel like you’re saying that?

I feel like shit, that's why. Are you gonna come inside or not?

That’s what ya’ve been doin’ all day?

Ohhhh shiiiiit....yeah. It's all I've done lately.

What’s 505? S’that a song? Sounds like a silly title, though I’m sure I shouldn’t judge.

Woah, woah, woah. You're not mad at me anymore?

Hey, maybe you should push the new project…

Tonight? Nah... Come hang out, we'll sell tomorrow.

Rescue her?  Freak out with her, bro.

I'm not really into it... I just want to get laid again.

Did Australia lose again? ‘Cause if they did, I think it’s safe to say that you are never getting laid again, ever. She seems to take football very seriously.

I think it's safe to say that if Australia loses, I'm a dead man in that I'm never getting laid again and the fact that she's gonna be mean for like the rest of our lives. I can't have my future wife being mean forever.