xenogenital headcanons

tumblr isn’t considered a social media because everyone on here is just talking to themselves

yeah i agree

What does the backend of this website look like that it enabels time travel

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french

50 cent was lowkey the most important man in my household growing up like it went 50 cent then jesus christ

i vividly remember my parents arguing once and my mom yelled “you’re not even half the man 50 is” then my dad slammed a door and left. these people raised me

Jesus had 5 wounds and 50 cent has 8. I know who suffered more for the sins of humanity

i’m pretty certain that’s the exact thing my mom said that got me formally asked not to come back to youth group on wednesdays

I’ve been dealing with stuff the wrong way. 

y'all need to watch this this pride month

every so often I come across a kink post about like being kidnapped and tortured or held at gunpoint or begging for ones life for sexual purposes and I understand its going for a very haggard frail thing being taken advantage of vibe but in my mental image it really just comes off the same as that picture of wolverine strapped to a nuke

This is the funniest image I’ve seen in years like this is probably the very worst thing that could possibly happen to anyone ever and the artist somehow perfectly conveyed the correct level of emotion he’d be feeling like dude it’s over but what else are you supposed to do