i went overboard again but very, very much inspired from that one scene in wicked:
"bramblestar," little bristlekit - and he has to remind himself that this is not bristlefrost, that this little kit is ginger-and-white and not grayish, that her eyes are green instead of an icy blue - pipes up, whiskers twitching in that inquisitive manner that reminds him every bit of cinderheart, "but isn't it true that you and-" her voice drops to a whisper, and bramblestar playfully leans down to catch it, grinning until her words come rushing out, "-you-know-who used to be friends?"
despite the buzz of activity in thunderclans camp, it feels like everything stops. no one is looking their way; spotfur's kits simply came to say hello, and he was all too eager to entertain lionblaze's grandkits for a bit while spotfur got some needed rest. graykit and stemkit stop wrestling in the grass, peeking over at their leader and littermate.
"yeah," graykit mews, bustling over and tilting his head to one side. "the elders were sayin' that you knew him when you were an apprentice 'n all."
bramblestar's mouth grows dry.
"well," bramblestar blinks, stuttering inelegantly in the way he's become accustomed to in the past few moons since bristlefrost's sacrifice, "well-"
as 'paws, maybe he did. ashpaw had been a few moons older than him; bustling with energy and life, the knowledge that every kit and 'paw exudes to those who are just a little bit younger than them. bramblestar hadn't known much of anything back then - only that he needed to prove himself twice as hard as anyone else did, to ignore the stares and whispers that followed him and tawnypaw everywhere.
ashpaw never minded, though; he'd take one look at smallear and roll his eyes, looking back at bramblepaw: "he just doesn't know you yet. i don't think you could even hurt a bee if it stung you, bramblepaw."
"i mean," bramblestar laughs awkwardly, shifting from one side to the other. everything's ached more since ashfur's posession - or was he just getting older? did his hips and shoulders always hurt this much? "i did know him. we all did." cloudtail was his brother, bramblestar almost says, but to include cloudtail in this feels wrong - cloudtail has renounced ashfur, had seasons upon seasons ago, after squirrelflight told her cousin about everything after the fire. years before any of this happened. cloudtail's always been loyal to his very bones in that stubborn, adoring way of his.
"but i heard you guys were friends," bristlekit insists, her big green eyes shining. "not just clanmates."
ashpaw had been his friend. a very long time ago. they'd been in the nursery together for a little bit - ashkit and fernkit were always older, though, and not nearly as rowdy as bramblekit and tawnykit were. but ashpaw would come back and visit, show bramblekit the very best way to crouch. he'd grin and laugh and remind bramblekit to keep his tail down.
when bramblestar became an apprentice, ashpaw would show him around camp. made a nest right next to his, helped him find the best moss. told him that thornpaw was too serious and argumentative. bramblestar's older brother, swiftpaw, was too busy trying to become a warrior to really hang out with them much anymore, and then-
was that brightheart's voice, or his own? was it his brothers?
bramblestar looks down at little bristlekit. they're kin, maybe not by blood, but lionblaze is still his son, as is jayfeather. and hollyleaf, his little thinker-
"i knew him," bramblestar finally says, but it still feels like a lie: they were friends, at least once. before ashfur liked squirrelflight. back in the old forest, before the journey. "our paths crossed often."
they'd been friends and denmates, right up until brindleface's death. up until ashfur's mother was murdered by bramblestar's father to draw the pack closer to thunderclan.
bramblestar still remembers trying to pad up to ashpaw; he'd lost swiftpaw just recently to the same creatures. his older brother, always so assured and strong. he knew what it was like.
"no," it didn't sound much like ashpaw; ashpaw sounded older, rougher. more like the tom he'd turn into years later, long after his death. "you don't know what this is like, bramblepaw. i don't need your pity."
and that was that. they weren't friends anymore. their friendship had died just like that, over something that wasn't-
-bramblepaw's fault. and then years later, after bramblestar had finally proven himself, after he had an entire clan to protect and love, to help nurse in firestar's image-
"i've always known the truth about you," ashfur had hissed, and even now, bramblestar feels like the tom is there, leering over him, "and now they all do too: that you're still that weak, cowardly little scrap of fur who only does the best repeating what the cat before him does."
