Hannah French

You tell me to calm down, and then you threaten my drum set. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. Ever.

It’ll be okay Brian. Stop being so uppity all the time.

Did I fucking stutter?

Calm down, Pretty Boy. We wouldn’t want someone to glue your cymbals together.

Yeah - uh - I guess. But - uh - people really like Chinese food.

This is true.

I’m pretty sure that would be a disaster.

Possibly, but wasn’t he not actually allergic to anything? Isn’t that the whole point of the movie?

Dude, I don’t really read much.

You’re telling me you’ve never seen either version of the movie??

Fruit and lettuce, probably. And they might still have reactions. 

On the bright side, they would never have to diet!

And sometimes I’m sure they give you the normal stuff anyone because they’re being jerks. 

Yeah, like when you ask for no onion or sour cream. 

Your brain must be a very funny place. 

Oh man, you have no idea. I’m constantly biting my tongue in interviews because I don’t want to come off as a complete dingbat.

I’ve seen the warning at Dairy Queen, and I basically just ignore it. You’re clearly a much nicer person than me for feeling sorry for them.

It’s either that, or I like feeling sorry for people so my life seems better than theirs. But I like your idea more.

Aren’t they supposed to anyway? A lot of places don’t list what’s actually in their food, even for allergies.

You know, that makes sense. Best not chance dying.

I guess but - uh - who knows. I guess that - uh - some things can be compromised on, you know? The oil they use can’t change the taste that much.

This is thousands of years of tradition Amy!!

It is, it’s horrible for them. I had a friend in high school with a really bad allergy and she just had to avoid everything. She basically lived in a bubble. 

All I’m imagining now is bubble boy managing to eat a peanut.

All of the fucking above. I don’t know what that shit means, but I’m pretty sure there are people who could fix it.

Violet Beauregard? The girl who turns into a blueberry on Willy Wonka?!

It might be. But only if they’re also allergic to oranges. Imagine lactose intolerant vegetarians with peanut allergies.

Oh my god. That would be awful. What would they eat?? Fruit. That’s it. Just fruit.

You’d just have to pick one of the ones that will make it without. It’s just as good. I usually skip the peanut oil anyway. What brought up peanut allergies if you don’t have one?

I don’t know, I have weird thoughts. Sometimes I voice them.

I bet eating is really expensive with allergies. I live on cheap takeout.

Oh my gosh! I didn’t even think about that. Or like the grumpy staff who think you’d just being picky.

Man, I’d eat that shit anyway. People have epipens. 

You are either way too dedicated to Chinese food, or just entirely too “hardcore”, you’ll swell up. End up like Violet Beauregard.