Playmate

“Mom?”

Selkie’s mother greeted her with a sickly-sweet smile, clearly holding something behind her back. “Hello, Selkie. I know you want to go to bed, but there’s something you need to take care of first.”

Selkie gulped. This conversation felt hauntingly familiar. “What’s that...?”

Her mother revealed that she was holding soap in her right hand. “It’s bath time!”

“NOOOO!” Selkie whined. “I hate your bathes, Mom! You never let me splash or float in the water and you always make me use soap!”

“No whining, Selkie! You smell like cow manure! Now come with me--”

Selkie was already making a mad dash for the exit, screaming like a banshee all the while.

“I knew it’d be you!”

Selkie’s sharp ears could recognize that soothing singing voice anywhere. Whenever she would get exhausted toying with soldiers and monsters on the battlefield, Aqua’s singing made her feel like she could play the night away. She thought she’d never get to hear that beautiful voice again after all the fighting was over.

The princess seemed peaceful singing to herself, but the kitsune, chaos incarnate, interrupted by running up to her and bouncing up and down like a child.

“Don’t stop now! Encore! Encore!”

@freespiritfox

Oh my. 

Haru had, of course, seen and learned a great many things over the previous few months of her life. The fact that the kitsune that she had heard tales of were, in fact, real and that one would be standing in front of her right now? Well, that one would have been a bit much for her to take, even in consideration to her knowledge of the cognitive world.

More pressingly, however, was one simple desire. Just one, mind you, but it was enough to bring a rosy tiny to Haru’s cheeks.

“ Your tail… looks so soft. Can… can I pet it? ”

My, how bold she was becoming. But it had to be asked, lest Haru simply blurt it out awkwardly a few minutes into the future. Best to clear the air now rather than later; that was something she remembered Joker teaching her.

Hmm, there it was again. Humans desiring her fur.

“Well....Um...”

Personally, Selkie wanted to trust humans with her fur, but past experiences with strangers made her leery. Her fur was more valuable than she realized, and people have tried to hurt her to get to it.

Selkie really hated being suspicious of the cute girl in front of her, though...It made her feel like a party pooper. Still, if her fur really was as valuable as Daddy said, she shouldn't let her pet for free. If the girl let Selkie have something in return, she’d know they were trustworthy.

She looked to the girl’s fluffy hair and grinned.

Back when she was in the army, Selkie would always get scolded for sneaking up on people. Being the only one in the group who knew how to take a joke was upsetting. Yet when she returned to Hive City she saw everyone was having a fun time trying to scare one another. Was it finally acceptable to give your friends a good fright? Hot dog!

Selkie was taking a stroll when she noticed a familiar face. What was his name again - Owen? Owen Something. She at least remembered he was one of the fun adults in the army, always spouting funny lines. Maybe he’d appreciate a good prank? Putting her hunting skills to good use, Selkie snuck up behind him and suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders.

The questions took the small tank engine by surprise.

“I’ve always had a face. I haven’t seen any engine without one. Hmm, I can hoot and toot with my whistle.” There came a shrill sound as steam rushed from the whistle.

Selkie grimaced, covering her poor ears from the high-pitched whistle. “Aaaahh! Too loud! I hate that noise! All you metal things do is make loud noises at me!”

“Whoa, I don’t remember you things having faces before! Um...can you understand me, or do you just make loud noises like the others?

"I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together."

"I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

"You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry."

"I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?"

"You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!"

"I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, Give me yours and watch what I can do with it."

"I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world."

"Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you."

"I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?"

"You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?"

"Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!"

"Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte."

"If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you."

"I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you."

"If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

"Something is wrong with my phone...it's just that your numbers not in it."

"If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one."

" Is your name google? Cause you've got everything I'm looking for."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

"Your lips look so lonely, would they like to meet mine?"

"Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you."

"Do you have a name or can I just call you mine?"

"Can I give you a kiss? I promise I'll give you it back."

"Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling."

"i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"

"holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"

"i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"

"why is the only angry one black?"

"get in loser, we're going sledding,"

"jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"

"ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"

"i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"

"i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"

"i could go back and pretend to be you,"

"fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"

"you're tearing this family apart, ___"

"what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"

"i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"

"wanna hear a joke? your future,"

"i would like to order all the money,"

"when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"

"do it for the vine,"

"you dress like an idiot,"

"girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"

"hey you forgot something. your social life,"

"help me hide this body in here,"

"did you just propose, using emojis?"

"do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"

"it's called capitalism,"

"thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"

"shit, we on national television,"

"bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"

"can you leave my house please?"

"i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"

"can i pay you in swag?"

"excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"

"what the flipper?"

"santa isn't real,"

"what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"

"a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"

"locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"

"man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"

"fuck it, i ain't running,"

"hey, do you wanna join my gang?"

"i'll ask my mom,"