every man ive ever hang out with has told me im not like the other girls but they don't know im actually the narrator from fight club

literally any upper middle class tiktok self-identified ‘that girl’ in a pastel workout set with a thirteen step skincare routine and a green juice is a million times closer to being patrick bateman irl than any self-identified sigma film bro

Scientists tagging birds with colored bands and accidentally making the tagged birds more appealing to mates is so funny. Imagine being abducted by aliens and they give you a gucci belt

please be patient with me i am experiencing horrors unknown to you at all times

"this filter will show you if your teeth are yellow" "this filter will show you if your nose is perfect" "this filter will show you if your face is symmetrical" "this filter will show you if your lips are big" how about if we all blew up our phones forever

movies need to look shittier and grainier again

next years met gala theme should be The Thing (1982)