“Momma!” KELIS yelled the minute she stepped foot into the house, looking around to find her uncle on the couch watching tv. She reached over to tap his shoulder as she passed him to go further into the house.

“Hey, babygirl. Where you been at?” Her uncle questioned as he picked up the tv remote, sitting up against the couch. He turned down the television and gave his niece his full attention while she entered the kitchen. The woman shrugged her shoulders, not being able to answer his question verbally.

Her family knew that ever since her father got locked up and sentenced to life in prison, she avoided coming by the house if she could. She hated having to come into a house riddled with memories of a father she could no longer see whenever she wanted to. “Been busy with work.” KELIS answered shortly. Her eyes didn’t leave the counter full of snacks. She raised an eyebrow at the amount of children snacks her mother had in the house, turning her head to look around to see toys on the ground in the kitchen as well. “Why momma got so many toys here?” She inquired while grabbing a bag of chips off the counter. 

“Elijah and the kids been staying with her until he can get back on his feet.” The response she got from her uncle made her pause with irritation. This was the second time that her cousin had to stay at another’s family members house because he couldn’t get his situation under control with his baby momma or keep a steady job. Her chest rose as she inhaled deeply then exhaled, tossing a few of the chip bags to the side so she can get her favorite gummy worms. Her attitude had a tendency to get the best of her when it came to people using the women in her family.

“And, why couldn’t he stay with you?” The woman interrogated before waving him off, realizing that he was another one that basically lived with her mother. “Y’all gon’ stop leechin’ off my momma.” A grumble left her lips while she stepped out of the kitchen to her mother’s room, stuffing a few of the candy in her mouth. She brought her free hand up to the door and tapped on it a few times with the knuckle of her index finger, waiting for her to respond.

“Come in!” Her mother voiced to the person outside of the door. She placed her hand on the doorknob, twisting it to open it and reveal her mother who was sitting on the bed. In her hand was the newspaper, the sight alone caused a wide smile to appear on her daughter’s face. The love that she had for her mother was known throughout her family and neighborhood. Mrs. Forde was almost everybody in Crenshaws’ mama or auntie. 

“Lookin’ for coupons, huh?” She inquired while she made her way over to her mom’s bed, kicking her nike shoes off before rolling on top of the mattress. Every time she came home to visit, the little girl within her rose to the surface. It gave her a break from the usual loud mouth routine she had. The hard interior of GOLDIE dissolved, revealing a soft and bratty KELIS.

“You know ittt. Hey, my famous baby.” Her mother sung sweetly before kissing her forehead. “Momma, if I was famous you’d be livin’ better than this.” She confessed while resting her head against her arm watching her mother flip through the newspaper. Yellow highlighted marks appeared all along the sheets of paper as she noted things that she was eventually going to come back to and cut out. Her mother lifted her free arm and placed her around her child, giving her a tight squeeze. She was proud of all of the accomplishments that her daughter achieved. She finished school, stayed with a job until she was able to get her dream job, and stayed out of trouble. Her family always told her that she got lucky when she had KELIS. She didn’t give her any trouble besides wanting to be the center of attention all of the time.

“You’re still a star in my eyes. Why you think your nickname is Goldie?” Her deep brown eyes glued to the thin pieces of paper as they continue to turn. A faint feeling emerged in her stomach once she flipped over the obituary section as if she didn’t even see it. Death in South Central was habitual that almost everyone she knew became desensitized to it. Everyone but her. It was common for her to act as if the violence and gang activity didn’t bother her, but in actuality; it did. 

The gang-life in her hometown took her father away from her during the time she needed him the most. Although he wasn’t involved in a gang, he abided by the same street code as his friends did in order not to get caught in any drama. All of his childhood friends were involved in gangs and expected him to become involved as well. For a moment he thought the same thing, but once KELIS came into the picture; everything changed. He stopped playing in the streets with his homies and got a job to provide for his family. It wasn’t until he decided to celebrate his birthday that his life took a turn for the worst.

Her father didn’t tell a soul what happened the night of his birthday, not even his mother, but he did reassure her that he didn’t do anything he was charged with. And she had no reason not to believe him, she knew the person she married. She couldn’t believe that he was refusing to work with the police and come back home to his family. His decision to take a first degree murder charge and spend the rest of his life in prison not only put a strain on his marriage, but his relationship with his daughter.

“I talked to your daddy yesterday.” It had been a year since the last time the two had talked and KELIS didn’t know when the next time she was going to talk him was. The burning feeling of his mother’s eyes on the side of her face gave her the indication that she felt like it was time that the two of them talked again. It wasn’t that she didn’t miss him. It was the fact that every time she tried to talk to him, she couldn’t get over the fact that he was choosing to be in jail to spare his close friend having to do the time. She didn’t want to hear about the possibility of him coming home on good behavior, she wanted him home now. 

Pressing her full lips together, she lifted her head off of her mother’s shoulder and rested it on the pillow underneath her. “Cooool... How’s he doing?” She forced out lowly as she adjusted the ring on her index finger. The sound of her newspaper being folded together and against the covers filled the stiff air. Her eyes quickly darted over to her mother’s face while she removed her glasses from her face.  

“You could always answer his calls and ask him yourself.” Her mother folded her arms over her chest, looking at her with a look of disappointment on her face. Despite the uncertainty of her marriage, she decided to stick by him. Her husband not being there physically didn’t stop him from helping however he could from his cell. It was the effort that mattered to her, something that she wished her daughter appreciated as much as she did.

“I really don’t wanna ruin a good day by talkin’ about this. Like I really don’t.” The woman sat up on the bed, pressing her fingertips to the bridge of her nose. It was as if her mother’s suggestion gave her an instant headache. She inhaled deeply and tried to keep her attitude under control. She knew where this conversation was headed and the last thing she wanted to do was get into yet another argument about this situation. 

“Girl, I don’t care about what you don’t wanna talk about. The hell is wrong with you?” The response she was given was riddle with annoyance. A scoff left the woman’s lips as she turned her head to look at her mother’s face. The stale facial expression on her mother’s face let her know that she wasn’t joking with her in the slightest. The older woman was peering at her over her glasses, her brown orbs begging her to try and dismiss the conversation that they were about to have. 

“Aight. So, I already know where this is goin’.” A strain left her lips as she lifted her body up off of the comfortable bed. Kicking her feet off the mattress, she swung her body around to grab her shoes off the ground and slip them onto her feet. “I’ll talk to you later, ma.” She murmured under her breath as she stormed her way out of her mother’s room. Snapping at her mother would leave her with nothing but guilt and regret. She wasn’t the one that she needed to take her frustration out on, but she always caught the end of KELIS’ fits of aggression. 

“No, you’ll talk to me now! You really lost yo’ mind if you think you gon’ dismiss me in my own house.” The tone of the maternal voice caused her to halt in her steps while she ran her tongue across her pearly white teeth. The sound of slippers dragging against the wooden floor beneath them filled the awkward silence between them. “Now, I know you grown and all that good shit, but this is my house. And that man is still your father so you’re going to respect both of us.” Her mother demanded as she stepped into her daughters line of vision, locking eyes with her. The anger that was running through her body was apparent in her irises. KELIS nodded her head in agreement as her left hand patted the side of her leg. Her mother and uncle could see that she was trying to bite back any slick comment that was pleading to come out of her lips. There was so much that she wanted to say but she decided to let it go.