* 𝑭𝑹𝑬𝑬𝒁𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑩𝑹𝑨𝑰𝑵

episode 1: who do you think you are?

“Well, there are worse ways to go.” “What’s going on? All I can see is shoes.” “I wouldn’t want to live here either.” “Do you know what an owl sounds like?” “The garden view comes with the screaming woman.” “Oh, for heaven’s sake. Throw yourself out of your own damned window.” “Maybe try jumping out of the window before bed, get it out of the way.” “Staying hush whilst falling from a height? Tush and flops.” “Look at her. She’s exposing her knees and she’s got a tattoo.” “Kill them.” “I’d rather kill them.” “I couldn’t get any water in the kitchen and I couldn’t find the other kitchen, so I ended up using the garden tap, and then there’s no electric in the kitchen, so I found a plug that works in the library. I don’t know if the water’s drinkable, but I boiled it twice.” “Tis a most noxious stink.” “I found a guide on how to tame an eagle.” “She spoke to me! She spoke to me! She saw me! She spoke to me!”

episode 2: gorilla war

“Well, that seems pretty conclusive.” “What sort of heathen just barges in on a lady while she’s sleeping?” “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” “Clearly this changes things.” “Well, conversing with the dead be witchcraft. People been burned at the stake for less.” “[Pronoun] may give ear to my overtures, but alas [pronoun] is yet to respond. “I don’t think that’s a word.” “What’s wrong with a nice ‘hello’?” “You couldn’t negotiate your way out of a corn maze.” “Looks like some idiot’s taken a hammer to it.” “If you were dead, I would thrash your bottom.” “A lady does not hold a carrot like that.” “I’m too bold, forgive me. Accurse my impetuous loins!” “I’ll wait for you, my comely nug.” “Well, there’s only one thing for it, isn’t there?” “Who you gonna call?” “I just wanted to say hello!” “So you just spent— You just spent the last three days hiding in every little tiny little dark corner in this entire house, scaring me out of my mind, for no reason?!” “Okay, so I’ve just googled ‘psychotic break’ and I’m not saying that this is one but this is an article that I think you should have a look at.”

episode 3: happy death day

“I’m panicking. Right.” “You don’t want to see this in your dreams.” “Oh, yes, very good, ______. We’ll just sigh at them.” “Oh, it’s far more complicated than that, damn your eyes.” “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” “We’re burning through money quicker than actually burning money.” “Well, I mean, there’s being nice, that’s one thing, but that’s just weird nice.” “I just wanted to lighten the mood, and it hasn’t worked. Sorry.” “Anyone dead in here?” “Don’t worry, it’s only a matter of time.” “Stop sneaking up on me!” “You know nothing of poetry!” “Of course I’m not going to kill your wife, ______, that’s a terrible idea!” “Do you mock me, sir?” “That one be Lucifer’s lackey for sure.” “I also saw a goose.”

episode 4: free pass

“They sounds like tiny people.” “Cornflakes were actually invented to stop people from touching themselves, apparently.” “I never did like cornflakes.” “Sorry! Got carried away!” “When I have control of the hands, I am going to punch you so hard.” “Is this meant to be 1820s? Those are Rococo chairs and tables. You can tell by the legs; they’re Rococo legs.” “A pox on all of them apart from ______.” “I have a lot of dreams, and most of them are about [women], apart from the one where I have the body of a crab and I cannot hold my pen.” “You are on a sinful path.” “Bigger boy made me do it.” “It’s back to boredom I suppose.”

episode 5: moonah ston

“Me speak good.” “I don’t want them thinking that we’re the sort of that people that we are.” “I don’t think it means what you think it means.” “What do posh people wear?” “Sorry, I just need to go and have a word with myself.” “Bright as thine eyes, round as thine eyes, yet too far apart, like thine— No, I don’t mean your eyes, I mean—” “I’m having a dinner party which should be clear from the fact that I’m having a dinner party.” “Well, he held his hand out. What was I supposed to do? Not shake it?” “If someone puts their hand out, I always shake it.” “Yeah, I’ve got to be honest, I don’t know what ‘reduced’ means.” “This place is weird.” “I mean, I didn’t like that pigeon, but that is no way to go.” “Ugh! Could that BE any more vexing?” “Pray tell, how you doing?”

episode 6: getting out

                      BUT TONIGHT, YOU BELONG TO ME

                   ɪɴᴅᴇᴘᴇɴᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴀᴛᴇ ʟᴀɴɢᴅᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴀʜs ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴏᴜsᴇ                                                            ᴘᴇɴɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ ɢʀᴇʏ (ᴇsᴛ 2013)