???

wait here while my manservant fetches the anti-elf rifle

I’m really into devotion and adoration actually

when i try to be nice to myself: he's not gonna fuck you bro

don't shave your legs this summer HOLD THE FUCKING LINE

you can have multiple most gorgeous looking women giving performance of their lifetime in a movie or show yet people will still come out obsessing & wanting to fuck a white man with the personality of a wet cardboard

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

feminist retelling of your parents' divorce

Every single day this month has been like Okay sure. Okay sure what the hell. Okay sure. I guess

real yearners miss shit that never even happened

i may have my father's worst traits but i am more ethical & virtuous with them than him