We fall into something that feels like normalcy, though I know it's anything but. His work keeps strange hoursâlate nights, early mornings, sometimes days that stretch into something unrecognizable. But no matter when he drags himself through the door, no matter how bruised or exhausted, he always finds his way to me.
Some nights, he's gentle. Those are the nights I treasure mostâwhen he holds me like I'm something precious, his rough hands impossibly tender against my skin. Other nights, he's desperate, hungry, like he needs to feel me to remember he's alive. I take him however he comes.
It's a Tuesdayâor maybe a Wednesday; the days have started to blurâwhen I wake to the sound of heavy footsteps in the hallway. The clock on my nightstand reads 3:47 AM. Later than usual. Much later.
I roll out of bed, the cool air raising goosebumps on my bare skin. I'm wearing nothing but Frank's old t-shirtâstolen from his drawer weeks agoâand a scrap of black lace that barely qualifies as underwear. My feet are silent on the hardwood as I pad toward the kitchen.
The light is off, but I can make out his silhouette against the window. He's standing at the sink, head bowed, shoulders tight with tension.
"Frankie?" I whisper, approaching cautiously. "You okay?"
He doesn't answer. Instead, he turns and pulls me into his arms, crushing me against his chest. His body is rigid, trembling slightly beneath my hands. When his mouth finds mine, the kiss is desperate, almost violent in its intensity.
I taste copper. Blood. His blood.
I pull away, my hands flying to his face. In the dim light, I can see a dark smear across his lower lip, a cut splitting the corner of his mouth. His knuckles are raw, scraped raw.
"Oh my God, Frank." My voice shakes as I trace the cut with my thumb. "What happened?"
"I'm okay, baby." His voice is rough, strained. "I'm okay. I just need you."
Before I can respond, his hands are under my thighs, lifting me. The cold granite of the kitchen counter bites into my skin as he sets me down. His hands push my knees apart, spreading me open to him.
His finger traces the edge of my underwear, dragging slowly across the soaked fabric. Even through the lace, I can feel the heat of his touch.
"Already wet for me, huh?" The smirk in his voice is unmistakable, even in the darkness.
A soft moan escapes me as his finger presses harder, circling the spot that makes my vision blur. My head falls back, exposing my throat to the cool air.
"You know, baby," he murmurs, his lips brushing my inner thigh, "I haven't eaten all day."
"Oh no," I breathe, trying to focus through the haze of desire. "I can make you something toâ"
He doesn't let me finish. With one swift movement, he pushes the lace aside and his mouth is on me, hot and hungry. The first touch of his tongue against my center sends electricity shooting up my spine. My fingers tangle in his short hair, pulling him closer.
He groans against me, the vibration making my hips buck. His hands grip my thighs, holding me open as he devours me with the desperation of a starving man. Each flick of his tongue is deliberate, each suck calculated to draw out the sounds he knows I can't contain.
"Frank," I gasp, my back arching off the counter. The edge of the granite digs into my skin, but I barely feel itâall I can feel is his mouth, his tongue, the scrape of his stubble against my sensitive inner thighs.
He doesn't slow down. If anything, he intensifies, his tongue working in long, firm strokes that have me trembling on the edge. My grip on his hair tightens, pulling just enough to make him growl against meâa sound that sends another wave of heat crashing through my body.
When his finger joins his mouth, sliding inside me with practiced ease, I shatter. The orgasm hits me like a freight train, my body convulsing as waves of pleasure roll through me. Frank holds me through it, his mouth never leaving me, drawing out every last tremor until I'm boneless against the counter.
Only then does he pull back, his lips glistening in the moonlight. He rises to his full height, towering over me as I sit there, trembling and spent. His thumb traces my swollen lips, his eyes dark with hunger.
"Now," he says, his voice rough with need, "I need to be inside you."
He lifts me from the counter, my legs wrapping instinctively around his waist. In three strides, we're in the bedroom, and he's laying me down on the sheets. The shirt rides up around my waist as he positions himself between my thighs.
I reach for his belt, my fingers fumbling in the darkness. "Let me," I whisper.
He stills my hands. "Not tonight." His voice is gentle but firm. "Tonight, I just need to feel you."
He enters me in one fluid motion, and we both groan at the sensation. His forehead drops to mine, his breath coming in ragged pants as he begins to move. Each thrust is deep, deliberate, like he's trying to memorize the feel of me around him.
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His pace quickens, his hips snapping against mine with increasing urgency. The headboard knocks against the wall in a steady rhythm, and I know the neighbors will complain tomorrow, but I can't bring myself to care.
When he comes, it's with my name on his lipsâa broken whisper that sounds almost like a prayer. He collapses beside me, pulling me against his chest. His heartbeat thunders against my ear, gradually slowing as we lie there in the darkness.
I trace the cut on his lip with my fingertip. "Will you tell me what happened tonight?"
His arms tighten around me. "Not tonight, baby."
"Okay," I whisper, pressing a kiss to his jaw.
We lie there in silence, our breathing slowly synchronizing. Outside, the city continues its endless hum, oblivious to the small miracle of us finding each other in the chaos.
"I love you," he says suddenly, the words hanging in the darkness between us.
I lift my head to look at him. Even in the dark, I can see the vulnerability in his eyesâthe fear that I won't say it back, that I'll run from the weight of what he's offering.
"I love you too, Frankie," I whisper, and watch the tension drain from his body.
He pulls me closer, tucking my head under his chin. "Sleep," he murmurs. "I'll be here when you wake up.
And for the first time in longer than I can remember, I believe him.