The Caffinated Gamer Lady of Hougun Manor

It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted anything here. To be honest, I’ve been focused on other Socials and not this one. 

Anyway, since the last time there’s now 2 Huskies. Jotaro was adopted in April of last year. It’s Jolyne and Jotaro now. They have an instagram page. Jolyne_n_Jotaro. 

I’ve been busy trying to get a comic project off the ground, working on IRL work and updates, running some servers, and repping for King Ice Jewelry. 

https://www.kingice.com/r?id=luf11a 

Well, I had made it about five days and we had our Sunday movie night dinner which is a make a recipe and we have themes sometimes. Last night was seafood night. We had fish and chips, sushi, and some sort of seafood soup. I reminded everyone at the beginning of the week that please no dairy and it ... Well, someone used dairy and I didn’t know until the last minute. 

After years and years, it’s occured to me that I’m probably lactose intolerant. 

How did I come to this conclusion, you ask? (Or probably not, I’m not special.)

Well, let’s see. I drank and ate a lot of milk and cheese growing up, not really anything out of the ordinary there. But then, coming into my early to mid 20s I started noticing little changes here and there. Especially with whole milk, or any type of milk really. I’d get really, really bad heartburn and just fill down-right ill. Normally about an hour or so after a bowl of cereal, or a couple pieces of pizza (All that good and gooey mozzeralla cheese). Though, I’d probably chalk it up to something else I ate that day and move on. I didn’t really notice the correlation until time passed by. 

Well, coming on about 25 - 26, my grandmother-in-law and I were talking one day and I mentioned to her my symptoms after she mentioned a family member exhibiting something similar. Not to mention, my symptoms were steadily getting worse as the years passed. I couldn’t eat mozzerella, american, velveta, and most liquidy cheeses, white gravy (like on buscuits and gravy or chicken fried steak) any creamy alfredo sauces, etc, without discomfort of some kind. I recall a time when I had a thick steak and cheese sub and that night I actually vomited. I chalked it up to food poisoning, but there was a lot of cheese on that sub as I recall, mozz, provalone, melty and stringy. 

Well, I cut out the more milky forms of dairy completely and noticed a change from always feeling bloated, swollen, and just overall gross for a while and it worked to some extent. But now, at 32, after so many rough bouts with my digestion, gas, bloating, and bathroom time I’ve realized that I can’t fight it anymore. I just can’t. The last time was THE LAST TIME. I was in so much pain, so much angst, and I just am not dealing with it anymore. I’m giving it up to save myself and hopefully not suffer anymore. 

I know there’s others out there who just eat dairy, cope with the pain, then move on. I used to do it, I used to be that way because I love cheese, milk, icecream, rich milk chocolate, hot coco, the works. But the pain, as I’ve continued, is just becoming not worth it in the long run. I’ve substituted so many things with alternatives just to combat these horrible feelings I get but this past week was the final straw. I need to do it and make a change for me. It’s not going to be easy, but nothing worth feeling good never is. 

I’m not sure where to begin really. It’s been a bit odd these past few months, honestly. There are still people out there refusing to wear masks when they should be. There are people out gathering in groups when they shouldn’t be, not distancing still, not being generally a good person. I mean, yes it’s uncomfortable, but it’s a small sacrifice in order to help drop the numbers. 

Anyway, I’m not here to stir, really. I don’t want to rant and rave at people. I just want to say, hello, after my long absense of working, doing art, and just generally keeping to myself lately. 

As most of you are aware from last year, my husband and I have been grieving our loss from Crowley who suddenly passed. It’s been a year and six months, the days are still hard, but it has been getting better. 

The point I’m trying to make is that I’m not like other people out there. I can’t just go out and get another dog after a previous one passes no matter the circumstances. To me, that dog feels like a replacement, a rebound dog, and I just couldn’t do that. I needed the time to grieve and honor Crowley’s memory properly and get to a point where walking around the house and looking outside didn’t cause me to break into tears. Where finding toys we missed and forgot to put away didn’t leave a void in my chest. 

I needed to heal, I needed time, I needed to feel ready to open up my broken heart to give another dog my full love and attention. My husband understood that and he waited patiently while I went through my process. 

I never really got to properly do that before because when I lived with my parents I didn’t really get to grieve for Jake, the family poodle, and he had been around for 10 years before diabetes took him. My mom immediately started looking for another dog in her sadness. While I understood to a point, I just wanted the time to grieve and honor his memory properly. But, it wasn’t my choice. Not to say that I didn’t love Buddy any less, but I still felt the new dog came too soon. 

Okay, being an introvert this new change really doesn’t bother me. I rarely go out because people frustrate and tire me. I don’t like to socialize unless it’s online or a small group of friends. 

It’s annoying me right now. Where I live, hardly anyone is social distancing. On the rare occasion I do go out, like today, I was expecting hardly anybody to be out. Well, no. Parking lots were full to brimming and the grocery store was packed. Shelves were empty, like a whole shit-load of shelves, and people were almost shoulder to shoulder. I mean, what part of ‘social distancing’ do you not understand? Be 6 feet apart and don’t raid the stores. At the moment people are still panic buying which has caused stores to have less hours than before so stockers can stock. There’s two 24 hour Walmarts in my area that have shortened their hours because of the lack of product on shelves.

My husband and I work night shift, and a lot of people in this area work night shift at warehouses and trucking. Having 24 hour stores go on daytime schedules is detrimental to us. Your selfishness in panic buying has caused problems for the rest of us.

What people don’t understand is that the more you empty the shelves the more you put other people at risk. These stores have to hire temporary workers to restock all the shelves you empty putting them at risk of catching this sickness. In a week the cases in my state have gone from 50 to 200 and it’s because people aren’t practicing social distancing! They’re too busy being out panic buying. 

I understand stocking up, I do, I really do but you all are seriously causing more harm than good by putting others at risk. Stay indoors unless you really need to go out. Stop overbuying, only buy what you need not what you think you need. Limit your buying to things you’re going to use for maybe a month. You don’t need 10 packs of toilet paper for a month. It’s not food. It’s just toilet paper. 

Parents, keep your kids at home where they’re supposed to be. Stay at home if you’re told to work from home. Social distance! Do it. 

I’ve seen videos on twitter, instagram, and facebook of people being out at bars that aren’t closing. People gathering in street for Spring break and causing states to make further mandates. I know it’s probably going to come to my state where only essential people are going to be out and it does worry me because the illness has finally hit my county and people are still gathering in large groups and not staying home unless they need to go out. 

The assistant was very condescending, they made my husband leave which made me very, very, very upset and anxious.

The guy stuck me 4 times with the needle. Then after I was numb he pushed in the tallest bite block, then pow...

Well, that tooth that was on borrowed time finally let me have it last week. It was terrible, I was in so much damn pain. I’d never been in that much pain before and I knew it was inevitable, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be this soon. 

Anyway, the pain radiated throughout my whole lower jaw and into my cheek, then into my upper teeth. It was about a 6 on the pain scale. It finally calmed down, but there are still twinges here and there. Yet, I know that it’s the calm before the storm and even though it’s a dull roar right now that it will come to a head again and I don’t want to feel that pain. I really don’t.

So, in the eye of the storm, I opted to set the appointment to get it pulled. The earliest they have is Friday at 9:20 in the morning ... (Sigh) I didn’t want a morning appointment, but it’s on a Friday and it’s not like I can’t take a nap later. But I was certainly hoping for more time, I really was. But beggars can’t be choosers. I got another 7 months out of it from the appointment in August when I went to have it evaluated. 

I had the dental appointment today to get my tooth repaired and even though the filling was a little deeper than expected, everything looked okay and the filling went well. I was got in at almost 11 this morning, which is very late for me and I think I accidentally fell asleep in the chair. 

I was scheduled with someone different instead of the guy that was on my chart. Honestly, it wasn’t a bad change. I’m sure he was booked solid, but that worked in my favor. I had an appointment with a very thoughtful and pleasant woman and she was very, very nice and made me feel comfortable. She explained what needed to be done and worked with me to make sure I was comfortable. 

Of course, I had major anxiety going in because I didn’t know what to expect, but it’s great that I had another good experience at the dentist. The anxiety let up as both she and her assistant kept talking me through it. That’s what I need is someone to keep me grounded and talk instead of just shoving things in. I did have to use a bite block this time but she made it so it wasn’t as tall as the last guy trying to just shove things in (first dentist I saw there). I also didn’t feel like I was going to swallow my tongue. 

(sigh) It seems like I can’t catch a break. Over the weekend, on Saturday morning (when I go to bed, nightshift) I was doing my normal dental routine of flossing, brushing, etc. Well, during my flossing, the floss gets stuck. Well, that’s no big deal, my teeth are close together so floss gets stuck often. It’s a thing for me, happens all the time. Well, I dislodge the floss and one of my fillings just plinks into the sink. 

This is very annoying for me. The fillings are new, only about 2 or 3 years old and I really, really am beginning to hate this a lot. I get it that the fillings aren’t going to last forever, but they’re not even making it their half-life! The half-life of the type of fillings I have is supposed to be 5 to 8 years, and the full shelf is supposed to be around 12 to 15. Not 2 to 3. So, I do my normal brushing routine and get up that night and my husband and I go to our local CVS to get a temporary dental fill repair kit since the dentist is closed on the weekends. I had to wait to call the dentist to schedule an appointment this morning and the quickest they can get me in is tomorrow. 

This is the second time a filling has failed since I’ve had my teeth cleaned too.  Last time was back after my previous 6-month cleaning and now that has turned into a ticking disaster where I’m going to have to get it pulled when it eventually becomes a problem. Now, only about a week or so after my cleaning, a filling falls out. This is getting ridicules, but if this is the quality of work I can expect from this dental office I’m probably going to be finding a new office in the near future. I’m not going to put up with having my teeth refilled year after year or even every 2 to 3. That is unacceptable. 

Had the good ol’ 6 month check-up at the dentist today and it seems like I just can’t win. I was hoping that my previous dentist didn’t want to stay where he was and moved back, but that was wishful thinking. So, I’m seeing this new guy and I just don’t understand why dentists feel the need to lecture you each and every time about plaque and what it does to your teeth. It’s the same lecture, too. 

I get it, you have a job to do, but I’m not a child. I’m 32 years old and I brush and floss my teeth. My hygienist is nice, very nice, and she doesn’t talk to me this way. Nor did my last dentist (the one who moved away). Apparently, this is a common thing in the dental practice, as I’ve been reading up, and I know my teeth are not great. I get it, they have issues now. 

Let me break it down. I went to the dentist for the first time in my late teens. My teeth were decent, no cavities, no issues, no softness. They had tartar, but not terrible. My insurance goes out, so I can’t go back but then a year later, after that cleaning, I get my very first cavity. I have to go and get it filled and pay that out of pocket. 

Now, down the road, I get married and a bit after start having teeth trouble again. I go to the dentist for the first time in a while and my teeth are not great. I’ve still kept up with my hygiene but it’s for naught. The first dentist I see is very, very condescending to me. Talking to me like I’m a child, and after I get work done with him it feels like my face has been in a boxing match. He doesn’t work with me, keeps telling me that I need to stay one way and just pushes his tools in my mouth. It’s not fun and I’m trying to work with him and be comfortable, but he’s not really working with me. Even at one point putting a foam block in my mouth to keep it open and I had to spit it out because it was hurting my jaw. 

At one point it even felt like I was about to swallow my damn tongue! I mean, seriously!

Well, after those rounds of fillings, (none of which he really explained anything to me about), I stopped seeing him and wanted a better opinion. In comes my next dentist (the one I really, really liked who moved) and he’s very nice. I immediately felt calmer. He explained stuff, he talked to me like I was a person instead of a mouth. Didn’t lecture me, just said how there were a few watchpoints and how I might need to take a little extra care flossing. But he didn’t treat me bad. He didn’t push his tools in, he worked with me and made sure I was comfortable. Didn’t shove blocks in my mouth or stuff it with things that wouldn’t fit. It was the first time I didn’t feel anxious about the dentist.

Now, this new guy just basically did the ick dentist thing. He looked at my teeth and then scraped them a bit (I hadn’t had my cleaning yet, my husband was first since we go together) and wiped the plaque on his glove. He talked with the hygienist and then started talking to me about what was needed. I need at least two more fillings, a crown, and a pull. My chart has got fillings on it and he just showed me the glove and is like, “This is plaque and you need to get it off your teeth or you’re going to keep needing fillings. We don’t want to see a chart like this, we want to see all white, not blue,” (which is the charting color for fillings).

Immediately after he left I felt like, “Wow, really? I come in here already anxious enough and you make it worse.” I mean, seriously, why would you talk to me like that? I get it, my teeth are not great, but I know about plaque, I know what it does. Just tell me that some teeth need extra care and be done with it. Don’t tell me my chart shouldn’t look like it does. I know, but I’m going now so that’s what matters.

The hygienist was really kind and said I was showing improvement and that it didn’t take her as much time or scraping to clean my teeth and that she was happy with my progress. My teeth definitely looked better than when I first came in and she liked how it was going. 

It turns out that I can’t win. My tooth is on a limited time window now before it turns against me. I thought it was the one behind it, but it’s not. It’s the same tooth I had refixed. Apparently, it was only a bandaid and that fix back in August only lasted like three months and now that tooth is irritated again. It’s not as irritating as it was at the end of June/July so that gives me a bit of hope, but not much. If I stay away from cold foods and just keep up with maintenance it should be fine for a bit.

However, I only have two options for it in the coming future. Either a root canal or get it pulled. I’m leaning towards the pull. I know every dentist will tell me otherwise, even the new one I’m starting to see as of yesterday, but the fact is it’s a dead tooth once that’s done. The nerve is dug out, it’s filled with a filler solution after it’s ‘sanitized’ and then it’s capped off with either another fill or a crown. But the fact of the matter is that it’s a dead tooth. Basically, it’s like this in my mind ... If a limb has gangrene you amputate it. You don’t hollow it out, disinfect it, and refill it. You lop it off. 

You’re basically keeping something dead in your mouth and even though they sanitize it, they can’t sanitize and make it sterile completely and I’ve seen and heard the horror stories about root canal teeth first hand. In my family, I’ve seen the havoc they can cause and how they’re not a permanent solution either. They’re an even bigger bandaid and since the tooth is no longer living it’s even weaker than it would be normally. Sometimes, even, your body considers it a foreign object and then you have to battle the tooth that shouldn’t belong anymore. 

So, I have to go back to the dentist tomorrow since I’m having some tooth problems...

I was really hoping to not have to go back until my cleaning in January. Well, it didn’t happen and truth be told I think something went wrong after that cleaning back in June with the subsequent filling in July, and now my back molars on the left are messed up. Had the one redone a few months ago and things were fine, but now there’s a crack in the one behind it between the teeth. It’s visible, and cold hurts it.

Well, now I’m in total anxiety town because I was just informed that my regular dentist, the one I’ve been seeing for over a year. The one I really, really like and made me feel comfortable and for the first time EVER I wasn’t nervous to go to the dentist has left. I really liked him and if I hadn’t had to go back I would’ve found out in January that someone else would be working on my teeth.  

I don’t like this. I don’t like not knowing and I now am anxious that I might be saddled with the previous guy I didn’t like. I’m just hoping my husband heard wrong and that it was someone else that left and not my regular guy. But that’s wishful thinking on my part. 

Well, I got my tooth fixed. It turned out that the filling didn’t take as intended. The bonding agent didn’t work and the filling had to be replaced. Apparently, it’s something that happens every once in a while, but I’m glad that it’s fixed.

On a different note, my glasses had an issue with the lenses yet again and my husband and I had to have them replaced. Well, when we went to go get them looked at my lens popped out and whoever put it back in scratched the hell out of my lens. Grrrrrr