La Belgique de l'ouest, l'Espagne du nord @france-the-third - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
La Belgique de l'ouest, l'Espagne du nord
@france-the-third
Hi i'm France, purple is a parasite/friend named Doldre, @kidnaps-you and I have a lot of lore together now lol 🦀 --- post limit has NOT been hit today :3
Dear gif makers: we are more than the eiffel tower, baguettes and Ratatouille (although in fairness those last two are pretty good...). There's other cities, and I think a lot if not most people outside of Paris don't like Paris. Don't worry the feeling's mutual, Parisians don't like us either.
I am France the Third! The first two Frances are @totally-france and @france-unofficial and now we have a younger sibling; @france-4-real! (hi siblings!!)
I have a parasite named Doldre who's my best friend! I don't really think parasite is the right word really, they're quite nice really, but the anon who gave them to me said that was their species
I'm your best friend?
Yup!
Anyways I use any pronouns and Doldre uses they/them. If you scroll through the lore you might notice a lot of she/they for me cause i hadn't realized i'm kinda transmasc ooc at the time lol but truly have fun with it
Most of my lore is with my love @kidnaps-you <3
Guillotine and ooc info under the cut :)
Warning: I think I swear decently frequently
Vive la fucking revolution, we got rid of our kings for a reason
THEY GUILLOTINED A MUPPET???
Hi! I'm the mod! I didn't use to have a name but since I changed names IRL I actually want to share my name here now lol so
Hello! ٩( ᐛ )و I'm Felix!
❁ I'm a 18 year old probably neurodivergent franco-american transmasc guy!
❁ I live in the North of France most of the year but every summer I go to my grandparents' in Ohio for two months!
❁ I like to yap about the French school system (that I did on hard mode), linguistics, things related to gimmick blogs, and queer stuff!
(I'm in art school [private school] now so I only know the french school system up till the end of highschool)
❁ I use he/him, IRL people who don't know me that well default to she/her, online people tend to do they/them, I don't really care that much tbh
yapping that is now irrelevant but that i'm leaving anyways:
(iel is the closest thing we have to they/them but unlike in english it's just a neopronoun and people find it hard + french is gendered as fuck so if you're afab you can ungender yourself a bit by removing the useless Es on the ends of words [grand= masc big; grande= fem big] but it just sounds like you're masc then) (oh also fun fact cause I did biology*: most words to describe a flower's organs are male, including the female reproductive system, and the like 2 words that are feminine are part of the male reproductive system. Our language is unnecessarily gendered in such a way that it doesn't even work right lol)
*pour les français: j'ai fait spé art pla et svt, et nsi en première
Transl: we have 3 i guess electives in 11th grade and 2 in 12th and I did "sciences of the earth and life" (biology/geology), art; and computer science/programming in 11th
❁ Most of the time I'll post in English, occasionally I'll slip into French but that happens so rarely that I'll usually translate it in the tags
On the topic of accessibilty, I try to write image descriptions when I post pictures but that takes a lot of spoons that quite frankly if I'm on tumblr i don't usually have so I apologize in advance
As for reblogging i don't usually have the energy for that or much tagging
-> semi related side note: if you want to use French in a fic but don't speak it, feel free to ask me for help translating! I've seen someone translate "pretty please" literally and expressions like that were not meant to be translated 😭 Any ship, any rating, gore or nsfw are fine!
❁ Naps's [@/kidnaps-you] mod and I aren't actually in a romantic relationship, I'm aroace-spec and I think they might also be? I don't remember for them though
on that: i may be aroace-spec; i have been told, a surprising amount of times, that i'm good at flirting, and since my friends like to be flirted with, i now slip into flirting very, very easily lmao (i have nearly accidentally flirted with both teachers AND MY MOM CAUSE I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION) --> if i accidentally do that with you and it makes you uncomfortable, please let me know!!
oh and for the record i'm rather dominant when it comes to that, so if you want me to act more submissive, i can, but chances are i'll end up slipping out of that lmao
❁ I use the tags:
#no tags leave me alone whenever I post something (because tumblr kept saying "post without tags?? Posts with tags are seen by twice as many peopl-" do i look like i care)
#demandes for asks (literal translation of the word "asks")
#truc de notes and #(notes thing) for posts I got summoned to by The List™️ (if you've somehow ended up on here without encountering it before, it's a list of all the geographical gimmick blogs + some random others I think who are willing to be tagged in posts to increase the notes- typically i use this on posts that are like "x notes and I do y" or posts that have been cursed with 10k notes and i don't use it so much on reblog bait)
#transl: for when i spoke french but then translated into English in the tags
#doldre's movies: currently just for sharing stuff i found on letterboxed; eventually it'll probably include ramblings on movies as i watch them lol {i will warn for spoilers!}
#france's ads and spam: for sharing ads or spam messsages i encounter - this happens less frequently now cause I've increased the amount of adblocker stuff I have
And unfortunately more and more frequently, #vent for, well, vent posts (usually about or related to friends who know my main)
If i'm complaining about school stuff (usually the Adobe suit), I don't have a tag for that cause i'm usually too pissed at Adobe to remember what tags i use lmao
In case you can't tell, I like over clarifying things lol (this is a surprisingly clear post from me), but in case anything isn’t clear, feel free to ask me what I meant!
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Not gonna lie this makes me a bit irritated. Here's the real version of this photo:
Instead of a cutesie reference to film censorship it was an explicit statement of defiance of Maryland's criminalization gay sex, which was not repealed until 2002. This wasn't a guy saying "Oh they can't put what I do in the movies according to a completely voluntary industry code" he was saying "The State of Maryland wants to put me in jail for being gay and having gay sex."
It wasn't a guy being cheeky about sex in an ambiguous, cute way. It was a man stating, in no uncertain terms, that a whole state of the United States considered him a criminal for being homosexual.
I'm not going to post it to not doxx myself but I just saw an ad for something in the town I'm staying in for two months, which isn't a particularly large town.
Even ignoring the fact that it knows precisely where I am, why the fuck are the ads targeted specifically to here??? At home the ads are just generic things like capcut's AI or really lame video games, or Jesus, or completely nonsensical things; nothing about where I live.
The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.
In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.
But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.
"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?
"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.
Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?
It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.
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All these industries with shortages of workers and they can’t figure out why.
Im proposing the hypothesis that the reason we don’t have enough doctors/pilots/bus drivers/etc is that maybe, just maybe, having your entire industry function as a lifelong hazing ritual isn’t the best recruiting strategy.
Doctors are subject to 8 years of post-secondary education and are forced to work 48 hour shifts.
Pilots and other transportation workers have absurd hours of service requirements that start your rest period as “the moment you shut the vehicle down” and can be as short as 9 hours in some cases.
Railroad workers have to be available on-call 6 days a week and be ready within two hours notice. They don’t get sick time.
Retail workers have to keep a veneer of politeness against any and all abuse or they can be fired.
Truck drivers get paid by mileage and rarely see pay for shipper or receiver delays.
Work should not be designed to make you a miserable burnout and yet here we are.
saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.
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American cars are fricking HUGE, and my grandparents are being all like "well... We'll see if there's space for that" and meanwhile my mom and I are like "...guys we could probably fit this in our much smaller french car what on earth are you talking about"
And then we go to the US and spend two months with my grandparents
My grandfather is perfectly fine but holy fuck would living with my grandmother full time have driven me fucking nuts
Besides being the queen of pointing out the obvious ("you could hold that [piece of cheese i was grating] with the plastic bag it's in" yeah no shit, but I did not actually want to do that), she also seems to have no sense of like. Privacy i guess
The closet in my room has a shelf that is fixed to the wall which makes hanging dresses basically impossible, and a lower, slightly wider shelf that can be moved. My mom hung some dresses in there so that I could deal with them when I went back into my room. I was not in my room at this point. My grandmother went looking for me, stopped by my room, saw the hastily hung dresses and decided the best course of action was to move the bottom shelf away before coming to find me. Again, the dresses had been there for all of 10 minutes and I had not been in my room since my mom hung them up
Ignoring the fact that the fixed shelf is just as much in the way as the moveable shelf, who the fuck goes into someone's room and moves the furniture, however minor the change might be
Oh and that's not even mentioning the fact that my parents and i decided it'd be easiest for everyone if we didn't tell my grandparents i'm trans/i've changed my name so for the two months we're here not only am I going to be deadnamed/misgendered by my own decision, but my grandmother is the kind of person to say things like "what a pretty young girl you are" constantly
Like if they just used the name my parents gave me when I was born, ok fine, makes sense; but to constantly be reminded of how feminine I am is going to be.... Fun 💀
And then we go to the US and spend two months with my grandparents
My grandfather is perfectly fine but holy fuck would living with my grandmother full time have driven me fucking nuts
Besides being the queen of pointing out the obvious ("you could hold that [piece of cheese i was grating] with the plastic bag it's in" yeah no shit, but I did not actually want to do that), she also seems to have no sense of like. Privacy i guess
The closet in my room has a shelf that is fixed to the wall which makes hanging dresses basically impossible, and a lower, slightly wider shelf that can be moved. My mom hung some dresses in there so that I could deal with them when I went back into my room. I was not in my room at this point. My grandmother went looking for me, stopped by my room, saw the hastily hung dresses and decided the best course of action was to move the bottom shelf away before coming to find me. Again, the dresses had been there for all of 10 minutes and I had not been in my room since my mom hung them up
Ignoring the fact that the fixed shelf is just as much in the way as the moveable shelf, who the fuck goes into someone's room and moves the furniture, however minor the change might be
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✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
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i am bleeding (fucking papercut, i'm fine) in the whitest house possible, if i get distracted, anything i touch is going to have a very obvious red spot on it
One time a friend told me that if she wanted to have a chill night she would come to me and ask for tea and a book to read. I didn’t like tea at the time, but I always made sure my cupboards had them in case she needed a quiet night. One time I told my boss that I loved oranges, but couldn’t peel them because of my nails. For a year he made sure to peel me one at least once a week. Once my friends gave me a made up superlative of “most likely to have a pen they could borrow” and ever since I’ve made sure I always carry a pen with me. A long time ago, my high school librarian told me that no one would care what my grade in my sophomore chemistry class was if I’m bringing them doughnuts and asking them about their day.
Sometimes friendship is about carrying pens and peeling oranges. But the point is, surrounding yourself with people who you want to do the little things for. The point of it all is bringing in the doughnuts because you’ve found the people who deserve the doughnuts.
