quick are you mythologizing sex again? are you making it seem like a special category of human behavior rather than just a thing people do? are you forgetting that it can be silly or fun or simply pedestrian? are you forgetting that it requires conversation and negotiation just like every other human activity that involves other people?
things that are extremely normal to say and do not kill the mood or remove the romance or anything:
hey do you want to have sex tonight/tomorrow/later this week?
would you like it if I say x during sex?
do you want to put on some music?
hold on, let me look up how to tie that knot again.
can we change positions? this one isn't great for my back/arm/whatever.
I don't want to put on like 2014 Sex Positive Educator Voice but like I promise it's not that special or scary and you don't have to completely change your behavior to have sex, it's normal and healthy to talk about it and negotiate and figure things out as you go. and when I see people say things like "I feel like it would be weird to stop and put on music/adjust positions/etc" I feel like that's part of mythologizing sex? like there's not some magical mood that you will ruin by speaking up or making some adjustments or setting something up. it's okay I swear.
other Normal Things To Say or Hear During Sex:
let’s have a break, i want to drink some water/take a piss/catch my breath/take my meds/fix whatever thing
wait, let me add more lube/can u apply some lube?
ouch, this thing kinda hurts. let’s not do this thing again/please be more careful with this thing/let that part rest for now and do this thing instead
i don’t like how xyz felt, let’s not do that
sorry, what did u say? i didn’t hear you there, can you repeat it?
i don’t think i can cum rn, do u want me to continue or do something else for u?
i don’t think i want to continue, let’s to something else
and ofc the obligatory:
have u gotten ur lab results yet? let’s use protection then, just in case
do u have condoms? i want us to be safe/don’t want to risk any accidents/etc
looks like we don’t have any condoms. let’s go get some/have sex next time/do something else
Certified Sex Ed Post!
