ur mom

literally on the school wifi rn

i'm like genuinely not doing ok rn and i can't tell if i'm being dramatic but i srsly want to fuxk my entire life up so nobody holds any actual expectations for me, so that failure won't come as a surprise. i woke up sobbing this morning just bc of fuxkinh school, i can't even miss this stupid class. i hate college, i hate thw looks i get when i sit at the randomized table made up entirely sorority girls. what makes me so different from them? not that i want to be like them but they seem so disconnected from reality almost...i admire their lack of rest. ive been getting too much and too little sleep, im lonely even lol. i can't stop thinking ab what's inside of me, how easy for it to slip onto the floor, and after all that i'd be nothing but a memory. when is it justifiable? i hate that they call it selfish when you wouldn't even have anyone to blame. nothing feels soothing, except the idea of self destruction.