Foxy Thoughts

I am the beat of my song

Melody is my body and Rhythm, my blood

I have played over a thousand tunes

Unknown to Silence, Nor known to Sleep.

Have stood hours to play many songs

Yet, these ears will never hear anything new

So as I pray, Unlimited Plug Works!

This one is from a few years back, and doesn’t involve me being a dick in MP, for once. No, it’s something far more sinister.

Some time May or early June 2009, I was at a friend’s house for their birthday party. Well, two friends really. Twins. By this time, I had managed to infiltrate what would become my Highschool group. Pretty much everyone there was a year or two older than me. I was a freshman in highschool, the twins were sophomores, and I think the subject of this story was a Junior. 

So, we’re sitting in a room playing pass the controller Resident Evil 4. By this point, I had developed a bit of a grudge against the Junior in this story from other things. He spent a lot of his time playing card and tabletop games, and kicking peoples’ asses with strategies fresh from the internet, acting all high and mighty, yadda yadda. I still don’t like this guy, even now.

Anyway, his turn to play comes around, and it’s that one part where you’re in a safe room, approaching an area with a slit in the wall for shooting things, and a bunch of wooden bridges and platforms. I think it’s where you get your first rifle. Anyway, he’s rocking it, clears everything no problem, and then he goes to loot.

Having spent most of his gaming “career” on tabletops and card games, he was asking for a bit of help where things were, and what things did. Guy had impeccable aim, just no game-sense. So, I decide to see if I could pull a fast one. 

“Hey, go knife that red barrel over there.” “Why? I could just shoot it. It’s safer that way.” “It also wastes ammo. There’s a gem in there if you go knife it.” “Okay.”

Most people here will know exactly what happens when you hit a red barrel, let alone do so from melee range. This man... was not so lucky. It blew up in his face, and everyone else in the room had a good giggle. This included myself, the twins, and two or three more friends. 

I don’t think he has forgiven me for it, yet. But at least now he hates me as much as I hate him. 

Please move the fuck out of the way.

I see that you are four KPH faster than I am. Nice. Now please stop cutting me off.  Oh! You see that Annihilator too! And the Dragon and Battlemaster! Yeah, lets shoot it togeth-

No, you fuckwit, don’t stand there. You have six people behind you trying to shoot that Annihilator and- Oh, now we’re getting flanked! Great, just let me reposition while this numpty fucks with the Annihi- Wait how are you in front of me now? Is the Annihilator dead? Goo- OW!

NO IT IS NOT DEAD, BUT I AM

THANKS FOR BEING A TEAM PLAYER, FUCKNUT