live hard, laugh harder.

Sometimes you tell someone to never call you again and then the phone rings and you hope it’s them. It’s the most twisted logic of all time.

But you loved her? Yes. And she loved you? Yes. Then why did it end? Because love and compatibility are not always the same thing.

One. You see her for the first time and she’ll walk right past you like you are a crack in the wall and she is a skyscraper with her head so high in the air and when you can’t sleep you’ll think about the way her eyes strayed into yours for a moment too long before breaking away and disappearing into the crowd of people. Two. She’ll look both ways before telling you she loves you under her breath and when she hugs you her eyes scan the empty room as if the walls had eyes and ears and mouths that could give you away. Three. When she’s curled up on your lap shaking with mismatched breaths you’ll wonder how someone who looked like she carried mountains on her shoulders could crumble so easily in your arms like the tornado in her mind finally hit her and knocked her off her feet. Four. In half-light she’ll run her fingers over your arms like she is reading words carved into your skin, binding them together into the perfect metaphor and you’ll hear it playback in your head at 4am when your head runs wild with thoughts of her. Five. You’ll find a safe haven on rooftops and abandoned rooms where she’ll set fire to your insides with hushed breaths between kisses planted perfectly on your lips and make you wonder how dangerous it is to play with wild flames while your body is made of paper. Six. You’ll stare God right in the eye and tell him that if loving her was a sin then you want no place in heaven with him because the way her lips fit perfectly on your neck is a type of paradise you’ll never forget.

I want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt. There has to be a way. To care for the wounds without reopening them. To name the pain without inviting it back into me.

The timing wasn’t wrong. Who we were at the time was wrong.

We spoke endlessly about everything and nothing. Now, I cannot even remember the sound of your voice.

Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?

I’ve always loved you,  and when you love someone,  you love the whole person,  just as he or she is,  and not as you would like them to be.

Lie down and forget your body, forgive

You’re running away every time things between us gets closer to being serious. Maybe next time you run, don’t bother to come back.

I promise you my pain wasn’t poetic.It was days without sleep and pretending I was stable enough to continue.