hello! sorry if this is annoying and feel free to ignore me if this is a question you get a lot but I was curious if you are the author of "The Judge's choice" on AO3.
I was feeling nostalgic a few days ago and wanted to re-read the fics that got me into fanfiction in the first place so imagine my surprise when I can't seem to find this fic in my bookmarks nor on the author's ao3 page. Anyhow, long story short, I went on a 4 hour investigation spree looking for the fic and stumble upon this post on your blog (https://www.tumblr.com/fortunatelycooltrash/190283589313/where-can-i-find-the-fanfic?source=share) that seemingly has the link i'm searching for but when I enter it doesn't work. So yeah, I think the work might be deleted and I wanted to know whether it was conscious choice on your part because this fic meant a lot to me and it would be a pity for it to be lost but at the same time I respect if that is your final decision for whatever reason (you already provided so many great works to the site that I can't really ask for more, y'know?).
I know this is old and that what Iâm about to say is somewhat not relevant to your ask but it will answer your questions and hopefully anyone else that travels over from my ao3 account.
While I donât plan to permanently be away, hardly anyone ever does. I didnât shut off my laptop one day and decide I hated my stories and didnât want to write them anymore, but life has a funny way of making writing funky cat stories sit on the back burner and then you turn around and itâs been years. The troubles I mentioned in my notes were not the worst ones to come and they never quite ended, thereâs always a fire to put out somewhere and usually it burns out my motivation before I can put it out.
While I do understand people loved the story, the truth is that I really, really, donât and I hate that stupid 15yr old me put it out for everyone to read without even polishing it. Even when I tried to revamp it, it would essentially be rewriting it which was too big a project for me to take on with everything else in my life.
Itâs writing is bad to me and it embarrasses me for it to be public in any form, hence why comments that try and post links to downloaded versions or the way back machine are deleted from any other work they comment on. I canât stop people from having these and, frankly, I donât mind whoever has them having them <privately> but I prefer it to not be posted all over a Small Flame or A Snuffed Spark which are works that I was actually kind of proud of.
I know the intent is not malicious or disrespectful but to me it is. If I wanted the fic all over my profile, even when Iâve stepped away from it, Iâd not have taken it down. The works Iâm comfortable with being public are the ones Iâve allowed to stay up.
If you have a copy of it, or can find a copy of it, that does not bother me but please do not post it on my other works. I donât want it on my profile or reposted on the site at this moment.
I may rewrite it someday into something more polished and, for godâs sake, <spell checked> but for now that project is the last thing on my mind. Iâd most likely continue A small flame before anything else.












