it's another hozier song. i do think it was the first one on the album that i went 'oh alec' abt so. hm.
[...] / ignored the vastness between all that can be seen / and all that we believe / so i thought you were like an angel to me
look. look. if there isn't a little bit of 'we're ignoring the elephant in the room' when it comes to relationships w alec are we really shipping? yes, delude urself that this has a happy ending. pretend like u don't see the red flags. let alec prostrate himself at ur feet bc ur above him, ur better than him, ur good, and he isn't.
funny how true colours shine in darkness and in secrecy / if there were scarlet flags, they washed out in the mind of me / where a blindin' light shone on you every night / and either side of my sleep / where you were held frozen like an angel to me
same as the above? yes absolutely. sprinkle in some of that 'under the cover of darkness, in sleep, ur still so bright and warm' that alec definitely has going on whenever he's w someone. the 'u can keep an image of me, and i of u, in ur head whenever i'm gone (on a mission, for good, whatever the situation happens to be) that is almost definitely an idealized one. the Wrong one. but the one that is loved all the same
it ain't the being alone (sha-la-la) / you know i'm good on my own (sha-la-la) / sha-la-la, baby, you know, it's more the being unknown / so much of the livin', love, is the being unknown
alec and his constant irritation/neurosis/secret third thing abt not being understood. despite obscuring himself, despite maybe not knowing who he is until he Does, he wants to be seen just as much as he wants to recoil away and hide. he wants people in love w the fictional image of him that they have in their heads. he also hates people for undoubtedly loving that image of him more than they actually love him for himself. bc who he is in reality isn't as Good and Well as they think
you called me "angel" for the first time, my heart leapt from me / you smile now, i can see its pieces still stuck in your teeth / and what's left of it, i listen to it tick / every tedious beat / going unknown as any angel to me
the inevitablity of the relationship ending. the inevitablity of him ruining it. the inevitability of him not letting that fondness and love and affection affect him the same. bc he's decided it's done. bc they got too close to him, to seeing him properly.
do you know i could break beneath the weight / of the goodness, love, i still carry for you? / that i'd walk so far just to take / the injury of finally knowin' you?
this one goes out to all the people who still love alec after he januses. this one goes out to all the people alec still has a soft spot for, who he still loves, after he januses. love is pain. love is death. love is essential. this is the fundamental outlook alec has abt it. it's gonna hurt. ideally he'll make it hurt someone else rather than himself. but it still hurts.
[...] / and there are some people, love, who are better unknown
and of course alec abt himself! bc he knows where it ends w him. he knows that he hurts people bc he consciously chooses it every time. maybe people shouldn't try. he sure keeps trying to make it obvious, but they always try anyway. and he can't hate anyone for it. he can't pity them. bc he knows he'd do the same thing. bc it's abt love. it's always abt love.
