FOREVER LOVELY

Ima just hold myself accountable for the things I did. I allowed things that I wasn’t okay with. I voiced them and nothing changed yet I stood. That’s my fault. When you would tell me that something bothered you and I would be stubborn and not change it, that was my fault. Maybe my “dominant” ways did push you away & you tried to work it out but as much as you tried it got to a point where you couldn’t tolerate it anymore. & even though I did so much for you, the things that I wasn’t doing were maybe those things that you needed the most. So when given the opportunity by someone else to give you what you needed, you took it. & for that, I can not blame you.

I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was starting to feel like myself again. Starting to smile and laugh genuinely & doing things that made me feel good. I was also surrounded by different people. Different energies, different souls. But when I find myself alone, the darkness sets in again. I feel like I’m falling. I’m falling backwards, falling into the past. & that light begins to fade again. My surroundings get darker and darker as the light that appeared close begins to dissipate into the darkness. And as I’m falling I begin to question myself… why? Why is it that I can see the light with others but when I’m by myself, darkness sets in? Am I incapable of being alone?

I don’t have much followers on here because I haven’t posted recently but I’m going through a break up (I guess that’s what I could call it) and my emotions have been at an all time high. I find myself in my notes a lot. Thinking about posting on here… what do you guys think?