dead or alive ,

beats working for my old man.

can’t please my old man, no way.

your folks run you off?

well, we got to do something about this food situation.

i wouldn’t mind sleeping out there.

that ain’t the point.

i warn you, i can’t cook worth a damn.

you can’t be no worse than me, then.

that’s more word than you’ve spoke in the last two weeks.

hell, that’s the most that i’ve spoke in a year.

you may be a sinner, but i ain’t yet had the opportunity.

you’ll freeze your ass off.

just quit your hammering and get in here.

fuck me!

see you for supper.

it’s a one shot thing we got going on here.

it’s nobody’s business but ours.

i don’t need your money.

i can’t believe i left my damn shirt up there.

you’re wasting your time here.

it’s not so lonely now, is it?

i’d like to buy ___ here a beer.

so where do you figure the most pussy’s at, las vegas or california?

hey, you might wanna keep it down.

___, just leave them alone. let’s just move.

you wanna lose about half your fucking teeth, huh?

wait, hold on. you don’t think i’m too fast, do you?

maybe we should put the brakes on?

fast or slow, i just like the direction you’re going.

you are in a hurry.

i’m supposed to be at home with the car by midnight.

i got a million things to do here before i can leave.

i’d rather be at my job, if i lose my job.

what about my job?

we’ll more likely just go out and get drunk.

___ fuckin’ ____!

we might not get back tonight, when we get to drinking and talking and all.

would you get me a pack of smokes?

didn’t think i’d hear from you again.

i figured you were sore from that punch.

i got out while i could still walk.

i swear to god, i didn’t know we was going to get into this again.

i couldn’t get here fast enough.

what are we gonna do now?

well, i doubt there’s nothing we can do.

i’m stuck with what i got here. and making a living is about all i got time for now.

i’m starving. wanna get something to eat?

i’m enjoying my peace and quiet.

you know it could be like this. just like this. always.

it’d be a sweet life.

we’re around each other and this thing grabs hold of us again in the wrong place, in the wrong time, and we’re dead.

we can get together, once in a while. 

if you can’t fix it, ___, you got to stand it.

i’m sure as hell sorry. you know i am.

i’ll see you next month then.

we don’t eat with our eyes.

now you sit down, you old son of a bitch.

now you sit down before i knock your ignorant ass into next week.

that don’t mean nothing, ___.

don’t try and fool me no more, ___. i know what that means.

shut up, listen to me, you don’t know nothing about it!

get out. get out! you hear me, ___? get out!

hey asshole! watch where you’re going!

that’s some high class entertainment, if you ask me.

you and ___, it’s normal and all?

you remember getting the feeling when you’re in town, and someone looks at you suspicious, like he knows?

maybe you ought to get out of there, you know?

go to hell, ___.

you want to live your miserable fucking life? then go right ahead.

i was just thinking out loud.

yeah, you’re a real thinker there.

he got it all figured out, ain’t he.

wanna dance?

my feet hurt.

i’m trying to get a foot rub, dummy.

thank you for asking to dance with me. i really appreciate that.

he wouldn’t listen to me even if he knew he was going deaf tomorrow.

you don’t think i’m the one for him?

you’re good enough.

you don’t say much, but you get your point across.

sorry. i didn’t mean to be rude.

you’re standing on your feet, cowboy.

i was thinking, maybe i could come stay with you.

you probably deserve it.

the truth is, sometimes i miss you so much i can hardly stand it.

there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you, bud.

you know, you had a fucking week to say some little word about this.

why is we’re always in the friggin’ cold?

you know me. about all the travelling i’ve ever done is around a coffee pot looking for the handle.

there ain’t never enough time. never enough.

this is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.

you forget what it’s like being broke all the time.

you got a better idea?

i did once.

is that a fucking problem?

we could have had a good life together. a fucking real good life.

but you didn’t want it, ___.

everything’s built on that. that’s all we got.

so i hope you know that, if you don’t never know the rest.

you tell me you’ll kill me for needing something that i don’t hardly never get!

you have no idea how bad it gets!

i can’t make it on a couple of high-altitude fucks, once or twice a year.

you are too much for me, ___.

i wish i knew how to quit you.

why don’t you? why don’t you just let me be, huh?

it’s because of you, ___, that i’m like this.

i’m nothing. and i’m nowhere.

get the fuck off of me.

it’s all right.

you’re sleeping on your feet like a horse.

i don’t get you, ___.

i was probably no fun anyways, was i?

he drank a lot.

we was good friends.

want a cup of coffee, don’t you? piece of cherry cake?

i’ll have a cup of coffee.

i feel awful bad about ___.

i can’t begin to tell you how bad i feel.

like the car?

___, you need more furniture.

if you got nothing, you don’t need nothing.

my aesthetic

ghost town

bodie, california

Claudia Cardinale in Once Upon a Time in the West (1968).

hold my hand if you need to. @ abigail / @otlaw

’ what, you afraid i’m gonna fall? ’ there was a faint chuckle from her, teasing and light. stumbling slightly drunk, the saloon steps proved difficult to maneuver, but instead of his outstretched palm, she reaches for his shoulder, gathering herself on both feet for the short trek down. she didn’t lose herself to the drink often, no sir, but the night had seemingly called for it. a successful con had her, hosea, and arthur walking away with nearly a hundred dollars in each of their pockets. the older man had made his departure only a few hours ago, satisfied with the take. by now, it were nightfall, and the seedy little town that camp had settled by was alive with foul liquor and laugher. ’ don’t think i’ve had this much fun in years, i tell you. years. ’

cool and wet is the ground as abigail had eventually made her way down,  muck squishing beneath their tread,  drunk on residual adrenaline,  spirits,  and laughter. arthur’s gambler sits precariously off-kilter upon his crown,  and the hand he’d previously proffered, should she require it,   rests easy upon her shoulders as he leans in to mention,  ‘  abigail roberts,  i don’t think i’ve seen you in this light in ages.  ’  

john’s abrupt absence had tore a hole in their reality,  but no amount of commiserating would benefit the camp as a whole.  in reply, arthur had shifted his attention elsewhere;  fists buried in rivals,  in guns and money,  and upon abigail herself.  poor jack in the midst of all of it,  just a babe,  nothing more,  but lucky for them mrs. grimshaw was in the habit of making the occasional exception.  not without a paid incentive,  of course.

heavy hands both gather upon her slighter shoulders as he makes an attempt to guide her away from the growing chaos of the establishment behind them.   his breath is laced with liquor,  nostrils permeated with the smoke of the cigars they’d previously shared in a celebratory toast.  it was nice,  a freedom to act as bold as they see fit.