sister

“Uh, I guess it could be a dessert? It’s usually more savoury though. It’s like a baked disc of dough that you put sauce and other toppings on, it’s versatile as hell!”

“Wait- have you never had pizza before?! Ever?! We’ve gotta go get some pizza!”

     ❊ ❝ .... ❞ that sounds... Unappetizing, to say the least. Even if she can’t consume ‘normal’ foods, the description still sounds vulgar to Sanae.

Ah–she’s like that then, is she? Schala can’t stop herself from grimacing, but it’s only brief. It’s just a quick moment before she collects herself, once she realizes what the girl’s attitude is going to be like. Had someone really, badly hurt her? To be this shut off… she finds her mind drifting to Janus.

“Forgive me, then.”

She dips her head down in a brief nod of apology.

“There’s a difference between wanting to have quiet and wanting to be alone. You can long for silence while still not wanting solitude. And – no one should have to be lonely.”

(She can still remember that ache herself, after all. All-consuming and horrible.)

“But if you should prefer it, I can take my leave.”

     ❊ She can’t help but become silent at the stranger’s words, eyebrows furrowing together as her pale gaze looks elsewhere. Of course a human would say that; they’re always so dependent on each other, it’s a miracle they can ever get anything done by themselves. At one time, Sanae had been like that; clinging onto those who held more prowess than her and would more than likely keep her safe when she somehow landed herself into danger.

     Oh, how naive the false sister had been in that regard.

     ❝ Craving someone else’s company makes you weak, ❞ she tells the stranger simply, tucking her hands into the sleeves of her kimono now.

“Maybe you should look for quieter places.”

She hadn’t meant to pick up on what the other girl was saying to herself – really – but it’s never been in Schala’s nature to shy away from those she thinks could use a hand or company. She offers a smile, an unspoken apology for the interruption and adding to the noise.

“There’s a whole city to explore, isn’t there? There has to be somewhere you can go where you won’t be disturbed by the noise.”

     ❊ ❝ Tch...! ❞ clicking her tongue in irritation, the girl swiftly turns to face the person now. She supposes it’s her own fault, for thinking she could possibly be alone for once in this horrid place... But instead, everyone finds it fit to constantly bug her and chime in with their opinions.

     ❝ Everywhere is noisy. Nowhere is peaceful, ❞ she retorts, tone growing quiet and almost despondent.

i came here to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

“That’s not it!”

Kill her. He wants to kill her. He wants to dig his fingers into her neck until the flesh tears and she stops talking out of her fear, because maybe she’ll listen, then. She listened, once, but she doesn’t listen anymore, and he hates it.

Rui.

It echoes in his head again. He’s shaking with rage, his teeth clenched so tightly together that it hurts, and he knows the voices can’t even be real because his parents aren’t here. They don’t care. They can’t care. If they cared, they’d be here.

Rui, please don’t do this again.

… realization washes quickly over him, coupled with guilt. The anger all drains from his body, and he – he’s suddenly aware of how small he is. Whatever burst of adrenaline had filled him is gone, and he feels so… tired. He’s so tired.

Rui hangs his head to not have to look at her.

“… I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he manages to say after a while. She’s right, though – everything is always about him. He doesn’t know better, even now. He doesn’t know what to do otherwise; he doesn’t know how to properly express anything in return. Every time he tries, he fails. So he still expects – still wants – everything to work out okay. He wants everyone to listen to him and realize that he’s trying, but that’s not realistic. It hurts. It hurts so badly that his whole body feels like it’s on fire.

“I can’t change how you died. What do you want me to do? If I say anything about it, you’ll find a way to make that my fault, too.” And it probably would be. He was the one who’d ordered her away, after all. At the route of it all, it was his fault. “I’d have worded it wrong. Or you’ll think I was lying.”

“… but…” This was how they’d all felt around him, huh? This scared? This irritated that nothing they said was good enough? He’d thought fear was good. He didn’t – he didn’t like it. “But I wish I hadn’t remembered. I’d let you have your memories instead, if I could. They’re not… good. I don’t like having them. You’re lucky, Sanae. You’re really lucky.” He gives a soft shake of his head. “… I envy you, I think. That’s what this is, right?”

     ❊ ‘ Die... Die, die, DIE THEN! SHUT UP! GO DIE! ‘

     Venomous words echo violently within the demon’s mind as the other snaps finally, her frown increasing tenfold as he does so. Fists begins to clench tightly together as Sanae’s eyes narrow at the boy before her, the girl’s nails now digging into her palms. Why does he keep doing this? Why does he keep pretending when the intent to murder her is so apparent within those stupid eyes of his?! She can’t understand it.

     She doesn’t want to.

     ❝ ... Oh? Am I finally not feeling or reacting how you want me to, Rui? ❞

     ❝ Did you expect me to smile and invite you bragging about your memories? Your newfound ‘humanity’? Is that that? Is that what you were expecting? ❞ and though she grins hard now, her tone is akin to that of a growl.

     ❝ ... Shut up. Don’t say you ‘envy’ me. What; you envy how you terrified me all the time? How you sliced me to pieces, Rui? How you chopped off my head without mercy? If you expect me to forgive you and forget everything, then shut up. Either kill me now or just stop talking, ❞ she hadn’t expected to speak back to him so much... But with his new ‘attitude’ of sorts and diminished power that even she can sense, it definitely makes it much easier for the demon to do so.

do you also need to be adopted

“Shut up.” It isn’t as harsh as it might have been, once. If he hadn’t picked up on the tone of her voice, he might not have even said it to begin with. “That’s not it. I didn’t.” Parts of him had changed, but that had been as he’d lost himself more and more. It wasn’t – it isn’t –

“Do you want to know? You don’t deserve it. Hey, you won’t even stop talking if I tell you, will you?” Rui echoes in his head. His parents’ voices. Calm down, Rui. There’s still a bite to his words regardless, but the anger isn’t the same – if it’s even anger. Hurt? Is he hurt? “But, you know, I remembered my human life. When I died? I remembered, and I was human again, and then I woke up here, looking like this. Do you know why I told you you could leave? Because I remember my family. I don’t want you to look like me. I don’t want to look like me. And I don’t want any of you to keep being some pathetic, pretend excuse for a ‘family’.”

     ❊ The demon winces slightly at his retort, her brows remaining furrowed as a bead of sweat falls down her forehead. So, at last the ‘old’ Rui, the one she has known for so long, finally comes out. It was only a matter of time, she thinks but even so, she had enjoyed the moments of peace she had within this wretched place.

     ❝ … Oh. I get it now. ❞ her tone, rather than nervous, is now ice cold as if to match Sanae’s gaze now. Rather than look at him, she instead seems to look down at him.

     ❝ Because poor little Rui remembered his human life, I’m supposed to forgive him. Everything is always about Rui; after all, he’s the youngest, right? ❞ she doesn’t care if he punishes her at this point. From merely lurking within this city, Sanae realizes that everyone starts off weak... So perhaps even if he deems it fit to try and slice her to pieces, she can defend herself.

“… I see.”

It makes sense, though part of him had almost expected that they were simply too scared to change their appearances back. With both of them not having to look this way, would fear have been enough to force them to keep looking like him? They should have just taken their chance and run… so them simply not being able to…

“To be expected, I suppose… even I ended up still looking like th…is…”

–he–

–he hadn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t meant to say that. He doesn’t want her to know. She doesn’t need to know.

     ❊ Poor Rui; if only he hadn’t paused so suddenly after saying that. If only he had simply kept his mouth shut about the entire thing. Then maybe, maybe, Sanae wouldn’t be feeling this rage bubbling up within her once more. 

     ❝ ... Ah. I see. So, you ended up changing your appearance? I’m not surprised, ❞ and while she’s still wary of him, there’s a hint of venom that drips from her words.

“… stuck?”

Whoops. Rui behind you.

“Can you not change back?”

     ❊ The unfortunately familiar voice coming from behind her frame causes the demon to almost jump, hastily turning herself around to face him. She knew he would appear sooner or later... Though for Sanae, she had hoped it would be the latter.