Food and Folklore

A few more items I'd like to recommend to my kitchen witches. This is going to start getting a little more specific to my own style of cooking and practicing. So if there's anything on this list that makes you go "That's dumb, why would I need that?" then it probably is not for you. Don't go out and get it! But if you think "Huh, that's a good idea" maybe try it out. You can also check out Part 1 and Part 2.

Terracotta Disk Okay let's be real; anyone who's opened brown sugar before knows the struggle of hard sugar. Brown sugar dries out and becomes rock hard. Now, there are lots of solutions that have been presented, but each of them have a new issue. Adding a piece of bread for example. Well now I gotta worry about crumbs, mold and gluten contamination (I'm very mindful of allergies, despite not having any myself). I've also heard of adding a marshmallow to your sugar. I've tried this, but I'm not sure if it's the environment I live in, but it just doesn't work well for me. Plus both feels kind of wasteful. Then I saw a Terracotta disk at the dollarama for about 2 bucks. You soak it in water then drop it in your jar. Boom. Soft brown sugar in a few hours.

Rice Vinegar I know I already suggested vinegar in general, but rice vinegar tends to be more mellow than white vinegar or balsamic vinegar. I like to make a lot of quick pickle stuff like pickled Daikon, Pickled Carrot, or pickled onion. It's also a common ingredient for many Asian sauces and dishes. So if looking up a recipe, it'll often call for Rice Vinegar in some form or fashion. It's also nice to add to plain white rice.

Tortillas Anytime I can find these for cheap in the store, I stock up and throw them in the freezer. Yeah, I can make my own for cheaper, but I've never been 100% happy with how they turn out. They can be too thick, or get a hole, or are not the right size; I dunno. Sometimes I'll make them when in the mood, but mostly I prefer to have them premade. Tortillas, whether made from wheat or corn, have strong solar energies. They also have good protection properties. When you wrap your food in a tortilla, imagine it to be like a protective blanket. It's great for tacos, burritos, fajitas, or just lunch/breakfast wraps in general. But you can also use them non conventionally. When a pizza craving hits, I'll throw some sauce and toppings on a tortilla and bake. Or I may cut the tortilla up into triangles and bake if I need something to go with a hot dip. Monosodium Glutamate Better known as MSG. There has been a lot of misinformation and hate regarding MSG. Starting when Chinese food became popular in North America, but people worried about the quality and cleanliness of food cooked by a foreigner. After all, other countries had different rules about what was considered acceptable when it came to food. So when people were experiencing headaches or stomach aches after eating Chinese take out, they were appalled to find out it was cooked with MSG. MSG was reported to be the cause of these health problems and demonized it. Except.....it was all dog whistling.

I want to be clear: There is NO causation link to MSG having a side effect of pain or stomach problems. What's more likely to have happened is people had an adverse reaction to deep fried food, combined with mass hysteria. MSG is like Salt, Sugar, or Citric Acid. It occurs naturally, and we humans found ways create the product in it's purest form. MSG can be found in all kinds of food like tomatoes, mushrooms, soy, cheese, fish, grapes, and a ton more. Now that doesn't mean you can just eat as much MSG as you want. Like Salt and Sugar, too much over a long period of time can have negative health impacts. But a pinch or two in a dish while cooking is great to help enhance the Umami or savory flavor. MSG also has way less sodium than regular salt. While I don't think it'll replace salt, it can be good to try adding first for flavor if you're trying to reduce your sodium intake.

If you hate waste, you're gunna love Tepache. Tepache is a drink made by the Mexican first nations by fermenting pineapple. Specifically, the pineapple peel. If you've ever processed a pineapple yourself, you know that when peeling a pineapple, a lot of the fruit comes off with it.

Pineapple is a great fruit for Happiness, Friendship, Prosperity and Vitality. It was used by locals as a staple crop for food, medicine, and even fibers for clothing. Later the Pineapple was used by Europeans as a symbol of wealth and hospitality because pineapples were hard to get from the Americas to Europe.

When you Ferment something, you are introducing Transformation and Growth properties. It's also good for opening secretes or reveling a new truth.

So how do you make Tepache? It's probably the easiest fermented drink and is made very quick by fermentation standards. The draw back being it needs to be drank soon. It can turn vinegary very quickly. In a large quart jar, pack it with pineapple peels. You can also use pineapple cores, but you want the skin of the pineapple in there. That's going to be the source of the natural yeast.

Add about a third cup of cane sugar. You can use more sugar if you want it sweeter, but I like sweet and a third cup was plenty. If you can't find cane sugar, you can use brown or yellow sugar.

Add some whole spices. You can use cinnamon sticks, as that's the most popular. But you can also try cloves, all spice, dried chilis, ect.

Top your jar with filtered water. Lid your jar and give it a quick shake to help dissolve the sugar.

Remove the lid, and now cover with a cloth or coffee filter. Secure with a rubber band.

Now leave you jar out at room temperature. Check after two days. Things should be bubbling and you should hear a slight fizzing. If not, give it another day. If you live in a cooler climate you may need more time. Mine took about three and a half days.

Once ready, you can either strain everything and keep the liquid (this will reduce the fizz but give you a cleaner drink) or take the chunks out manually with a utensil (Save the fizz, but a chunkier drink)

Allergies are a wild thing. We humans have had allergies for thousands of years, we just didn't know how to identify it. There was a recording of an Egyptian pharaoh dying after a single bee sting. In the 1600s, Jean Baptiste van Helmont recorded several instances of what was described as asthma attacks after people ingested sea food like shellfish. Hay fever allergies were seen more like a seasonal illness like a cold. It wasn't until Dr. John Bostock started recording his symptoms in 1812 that allergy study started.

So after more than 200 years of research, we can conclude that Allergies are a real thing. But we still don't know exactly what causes them. Which is a problem, because food allergies are on the rise. We know what happens. In a (nut free) nut shell, our immune system makes an antibody for specific proteins related to food. When our immune system comes in contact with these proteins from a specific food, then release the antibodies to go on the attack. This attack then causes our body to release a bunch of chemicals that causes itching and swelling. Some people get hives, some people's throat swell shut. It's all very personal.

What's really wild is allergies are very unique to each person. Varying in sensitivity and specificity. My mom for example can eat fresh strawberries with no issue. But if they're frozen first, she breaks out in hives. There was a kid at my school who so much as touched coconut ballooned up and needed an epi pen. And I talked to this one guy who was allergic to egg whites but could eat egg yolks with no issue.

So What's causing all these food allergies? What triggers them? Why are they not consistent? Well, the truth of the matter is we don't know for sure. But people smarter than me have some theories. The first theory, (which while I don't think it's the main thing going on, it's probably a big contributor) is we now know what an allergy is and can better record it, as well as treat it. The few possible instances of food allergies in the past may of been misdiagnosed asthma or skin rashes.

The next theory has been that children were eating too much of an allergen prone food too early in life. This is where the explanation of 'Why is everyone allergic to peanuts?' comes from. Because everyone was eating a bunch of peanut butter. So doctors advised parents not to feed their young children allergy prone foods like nuts and eggs. However, that theory has been debunked and doctors are saying again it's fine to introduce your child to these foods. I'm not a doctor so I'm not going to say one way or the other. Just talk to your child's doctor if you have concerns and remember that adults can develop allergies too.

The final theory (And the one I like) is we now live in a very clean society. We know about soap, proper bathing, use chemicals to sterilize our dishware, have food safety protocols; our immune system is looking for something to do. So it decides a protein from a food looks a little like the plague and BAM; off it goes.

Now again, we're not 100% sure why some people get food allergies and some people don't. But it seems to be mostly environmental with minimal genetic components. Which is so new to be figured out, my medical records still say I'm allergic to penicillin despite never having it (My dad was allergic). So here are some things that seem to correlate, though we can't confirm if there's a causation.

Children raised in a house with a cat or dog will be less likely to develop an allergy. Children who start eating a variety of foods from age 6 months in small amounts are less likely to develop an allergy. People with food allergies and asthma are more likely to have an anaphylactic response.

Breastfed babies will be less likely to develop food allergies.

If you don't check any of these boxes, but consider yourself a Kitchen Witch, fret not! You likely are one. This is more for people on the fence or for people who may be looking to branch out.

You feel happiness when your home is well stocked with food. Not so much snacks but ingredients. This is because you not only feel secure having food, but you have options in what you can make/eat.

Even if you eat the same thing every day for time or budget reason, you still find yourself changing things up. Maybe the ratios, maybe some seasoning, maybe you'll be in the mood to add an extra something, that kind of thing. Common examples of this are meals like Oatmeal, pasta, and soup.

You like to watch cooking videos even though you have no real plans to recreate the dish. You might; one day. But mainly you enjoy experiencing learning about the food and how to make it.

You have a favorite mug, glass, and/or bowl. It's your go to when your make yourself single servings of food or beverages.

You have been looking for or have already found your ideal apron. You may not always wear the apron. And everyone's ideal apron is different. But the fact of the matter is, you've been thinking about it.

Any time someone mentions a mild ailment like a cough or sore throat, your instinct is to recommend food or drink that may help.

Food is one of your love languages. If someone gifts you say, some homemade cookies or cake, that's a big warm hug.

The main thing stopping you from cooking or baking more is time and/or the dishes that need to be done after.

You hate wasting food, and appreciate all the steps involved in getting food from the farm to our tables.

When we hear the concept of story time with a book, we often picture an adult with a picture book surrounded by young children. All enamored and ready to listen to the story. And while it's 100% true children love to listen to stories, so do older children, teenagers and adults. Even if a person is not passionate about stories, when one is being told, they'll still stop and listen.

I think this is because story telling is the oldest way we humans have to entertain and socialize. Our ancestors gathering around a fire, sharing tales of what happened, or theories about where winter comes from.

I also know that people of all ages enjoy listening to a story because all those children have adult parents. And those adults will also stand by, listen intently enamored by the story. Even the simplest story, there's something about being read to that brings us together. And look at what's popular to listen to now: Audio Books, Podcasts, Reddit Stories; we love to hear a story!

I'd like to challenge you to get a book of short stories. Could be fairytales, could be fables, mythology, bible stories, whatever. At your next gathering, when there's a lull and people start picking up their phones, pick up that book. And read a short story aloud. It may seem like no one is listening, but if everyone stays quite I promise they are listening. Even if they are still looking at their phones. And if they're not, well, you got to read a cool story.

This weekend, my family is making the trek way out to my great grandmother's grave plot so we can burry my uncle. He passed in April and had lived a full life. He was cremated and has been chilling in my dad's closet since.

It's not the first time in my life I've attended a funeral. But it is the first time there was such a large gap between death and the funeral. The plot is near the old family cottage which was sold while I was still a kid and is a half days travel away at this point. So I've been thinking about songs sung at funerals.

The last Funeral I went to everyone sang Amazing Grace. Which, while a pretty song, I don't think it would capture myself or my family too well. Most of us are more spiritual than religious. Though interesting thing about Amazing Grace, it doesn't translate well into other Languages since the word "Grace" is a Uniquely English word when it comes to the context of religion. There are translations for Graceful or Gracious. But Grace was a mistranslation of the Hebrew Word khen, meaning many things like beauty and favor.

Anyways, the point I'm getting to is I've kinda been fixating on the song Auld Lang Syne. If you are a native English speaker, I Promise you have heard the song before. I think the song is woven into our DNA at this point cause I can not for the life of me remember learning the melody. But I know it!

It's a song that wasn't originally in English though. It was First a pome written in 1788 by Robert Burns in Scotland. It was an effort to preserve the Scottish language after England assumed rule. And while the lyrics have been given an English Tweek over the Centuries, People still say Auld Lang Syng (Old Lan Sign) which means Old Long Since or Old Times Sake.

It is a goodbye song. It acknowledges the good times happened, and says farewell to the past. But it says it in a way that is "Don't be sad that it's over, be happy that it happened." It fits well with anything from Graduations to Funerals. Bellow I have the English lyrics of the song. If you want to hear the melody, just look up Auld Lang Syne anywhere on youtube or spotify. I promise as soon as the first line is sung, you'll know the melody ;)

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?

Chorus: For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

And surely you'll buy your pint cup! and surely I'll buy mine! And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Chorus

We two have run about the hills, and picked the daisies fine; But we've wandered many a weary foot, since auld lang syne.

Chorus

We two have paddled in the stream, from morning sun till dine; But seas between us broad have roared since auld lang syne.

Chorus

And there's a hand my trusty friend! And give me a hand o' thine! And we'll take a right good-will draught, for auld lang syne.

Some of my favorite stories are folktales and legends told by the people of the first nations. A lot of myths from other cultures focus on more grand things like where does the sun go, why do we have winter, who created us, ect. An First nations legends also have stories like that, but it's often told around other more smaller questions like "Why do chipmunks have stripes on their back?" which Today I think we take for granted asking questions like that. Asking why animals or plants look the way they do.

This story, Ermine and the Hunter, comes from a Published book of Canadian Folktales in 1922. It seems like there's some White Retelling, using words like Wand and Sails and....well Canada. But it seems to have been retold with the best of intentions. For those who don't know, an Ermine is like a Ferret or Weasel.

Ermine and the Hunter

Far away in the Canadian North Country an old man lived with his wife and children. They lived far from other people, but they were never lonely, for they had much work to do. The old man was a great hunter, and in summer he and his wife and children lived on the fish and game he captured in the winter. In the spring-time he gathered sap from the maple trees, from which he made maple syrup and maple sugar with which to sweeten their food. One day in summer he found three small bears eating his stock of sugar. When he came upon them, his sugar was all gone, and he was very cross. With a stout club he killed the little bears and skinned them and dried their meat. But his wife said, "No good can come of it. You should not have killed the three little bears, for they were too young for slaughter."

The next day the old Bear came along, looking for his lost children. When he saw their skins hanging up to dry he knew that they had been killed by the hunter. He was very sad and angry, and he called to the hunter, "You have killed my little motherless cubs, and in return for that wickedness, some night when you are off your guard I will kill your children, and then I will kill you and your wife, and I will devour all your food." The old man shot at him with his arrows, but the arrows did not harm him, for he was Brown Bear of the Stony Heart, and he could not be killed by man. For many nights and days the old man tried to trap him, but he met with no success. And each day he saw his store of food growing smaller, for Bear of the Stony Heart stole it always in the night. And he thought, "We shall all surely starve before the winter comes, and game is plentiful again."

One day in despair he resolved to look about him for some one who would tell him how to kill the Bear. He went to the bank of the river and sat there in thought and smoked long at his pipe. And he called to the God of the River and said, "Oh, River-God, help me to drown Bear when he comes to fish." The river came from the Lime Stone country far back among the rocks, and it was flowing rapidly to the sea. And the River-God said, "My water cannot tarry. There are millions of oysters down on the ocean shore waiting for shells, and I am hurrying down there with the lime to make them," and he rushed quickly past.

Then the old man called to the Spirit of the Wind, and he said, "Oh, Spirit of the Wind, stay here with me to-night and help me to kill Bear of the Stony Heart. You can knock down great trees upon his back and crush him to the earth." But the Wind Spirit said, "I cannot linger. Many ships with rich cargoes lie silent on the ocean waiting to sail, and I must hurry along with the force to drive them." And like the River-God he hastened on his way.

Then the old man called to Storm Cloud, which was just then passing over his head, and he said, "Oh, Spirit of the Storm Cloud, stay here with me to-night and help me to kill Bear of the Stony Heart, for he seeks to destroy my children. You can send lightning and thunder to strike him dead." But the Storm Cloud said, "I cannot loiter on the way. Far from here there are millions of blades of corn and grass dying from thirst in the summer heat, for I see the heat waves rising on the earth, and I am hurrying there with rain to save them." And like the River-God and the Wind Spirit he hurried along on his business. The poor old man was in great sorrow, for it seemed that no one would help him to rid the land of Bear of the Stony Heart.

As he sat wondering what he should do, an old woman came along. She said, "I am very hungry and tired, for I have come far. Will you give me food and let me rest here a while?" And he said, "We have very little food, for Bear of the Stony Heart steals it from us nightly, but you may share with us what little we have." So he went away and brought back to her a good fat meal. While she was eating her dinner he told her of his troubles with Bear, and he said that no one would help him to get rid of the pest, and that Bear could not be killed by man. And the old woman said, "There is a little animal who can kill Bear of the Stony Heart. He alone can save you. You have done well to me. Here is a wand which I will give you. Go to sleep here, soon, on the bank of the river. Wave this wand before you sleep and say what I shall teach you, and when you awake call to you the first animal you see when you open your eyes. He will be the animal of which I speak, and he will rid you of the Bear." She taught him a little rhyme and gave him a wand which she took from the basket on her arm; then she hobbled away, and the old man knew that she was the weird woman of the Fairy Blue Mountain, of whom he had often heard. He marvelled greatly, but he resolved to do as she had told him.

After the old woman had gone, the man waved the little wand three times, and cried:

"Animal, animal, come from your lair, Help me to slaughter the old Brown Bear! Make with my magic a little white dart, To pierce in the centre old Bear's Stony Heart!"

He repeated the rhyme three times. Then he felt himself getting drowsy and sleep soon came upon him. He slept but a short time when the heat woke him up, for the hot sun beat down upon him. He rubbed his eyes and looked about him. Watching him from behind a tree was a little animal with a shaggy brown coat. The old man thought to himself, "Surely the weird fairy woman of the Blue Mountain has played a trick on me. That scraggy little animal with the dirty coat cannot kill the Bear." But he resolved to test her word. He repeated his rhyme again, and the little animal came quickly towards him. "Who are you?" said the man. "I am Ermine," said the little animal. "Are you the animal of which the fairy woman of the Blue Hills has told me?" asked the man. "I am indeed the same," said Ermine. "I have been sent to you to kill the Bear, and here I have the little darts made powerful because of your magic wand." He pointed to his mouth and showed the old man his sharp white teeth. "So now to your task," said the old man in high spirits. "Oh, not so fast," said Ermine, "you must first pay me for my work." "What can I do for you?" asked the man. "I am ashamed of my dirty brown coat, which I have worn for a long time," said the animal; "you have great magic from the wand you received from the fairy woman of the Blue Hills. I want a sleek and shining white coat that I can wear always, for I want to be clean." The man waved his wand again and wished for what the animal had asked him, and at once the shaggy brown coat of Ermine was replaced by a sleek and shining white coat as spotless as the new snow in winter. Then the animal said, "I have one more condition to impose on you. You must promise never to kill a bear's young cubs when they are still following their mother in the summer time. You must give them a chance to grow strong, so that they may be able to fight for their own lives." And the man promised, placing his hand upon the wand to bind his oath. Then, when he looked again, the wand had vanished from his hand. It had gone back through the air to the fairy woman of the Blue Hills.

I made a brief post about some tools you can probably pass on in the kitchen. You can find that here if interested. But I thought I'd get more controversial and talk about ingredients. Now, this is not a list of ingredients you should never get. This is more about stuff you really don't need to keep on hand that I find a lot of newer kitchen witches might think they need it.

Vanilla Beans Have you ever bought a vanilla bean? They are so expensive! For day to day stuff, it's not worth it. Just get some vanilla extract. If you want the magical properties, maybe invest in real vanilla extract. I get a big bottle as a gift from my Step Mom when she travels. But if you're just wanting vanilla flavor, just get the artificial stuff. Some people are put off by the fact it's made with things like beaver glands or waste molecules, but I think that's pretty amazing personally. Vanilla tip: add to your food when it's cool. Heat breaks down some of vanilla's complex flavor.

Saffron This is literally the most expensive seasoning in the world. It's the center prong things of a flower. But each flower only has 2 or 3 of them. If you're making something super special and want to get some, go for it. But you don't need to keep it on hand. Magically there are alternatives. Taste there are alternatives. If you want that colour, use some dried turmeric.

Multiple Salts It may seem weird that a Kitchen Witch is telling you not to keep salt on hand. But I'm saying don't keep ALL the salts on hand. There are multiple different kinds and colours of salt that can be added to food. Volcanic black salt, red salt, gray salt, pink salt, rock salt, flakey salt, TONS of salt. I hyper fixated one day and got them all. You know what I use in my cooking most often? Simple kosher salt. Got a big box of it for like 2 dollars. Salt is important for cooking; but don't get carried away.

Cooking Wine Cooking wine has alcohol in it, but it's at a higher concentration so it's cooked out faster. This can cause the cooking wine to taste like a weak vinegar as a result. Either use wine to cook with, or use it's red/white wine vinegar counter parts (in smaller amounts). You don't need special cooking wine. And wine vinegar can be used in ways cooking wine can't, like in dressings.

Shelf Stable Parmesan Cheese I get it, I grew up shaking this stuff on my pasta as a kid too. But that's really the only thing you can use it for. It's dehydrated cheese, so it should be refrigerated after opening. And it only lasts about half a year. You can't use it like regular cheese as it won't melt. And it's basically not cheese anymore so it's magical benefits are out the window. An alternative I recommend is nutritional Yeast. It has much more versatility and is actually shelf stable. It is transformative, expands ideas, allows for growth, change, and uplifting.

Truffle Oil I saw this everywhere a few years back. I think the hype has died down, but if you're still clinging to your truffle oil; just get olive oil. That's all it is. Truffle oil is Olive oil that's been infused with truffles. If you're lucky; a lot of the time it's just added chemicals to mimic the aroma. You can make your own if you want a little bit of truffle oil for something. Or you can experiment with infusing oil with other flavours. I think that's more fun.

I made a post a bit back sharing the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. But instead of the young Goldilocks, it was an old woman. I found the switch funny and shared the story. But another user pointed out, that's actually the original story by Robert Southey (The Person credited with creating Goldilocks and the Three Bears) and I checked my own copy and- they were right! I had completely miss remembered. You can check out the post and comment here. But that got me thinking....If Robert Southey didn't create the character Goldilocks; who did?

So I did a little digging.

First of all, I know Robert Southey didn't create this iconic story. It was likely a folk tale that had been told for many generations, and he was the first to write and publish the story. In fact, we can confirm this is not his original story because we have another book with the same story created before his publication. Southey Published his in 1837. But in 1831, a woman named Eleanor Mure made her own version of the story with hand painted illustrations as a gift for her Nephew. The nephew, Horace Broke, kept the book in his personal library for his entire life. When he died, his books were brought to Toronto Canada, and you can find this hand made gift in the Toronto Museum.

It was the same story as Robert Southey's, give or take some wording. Three civilized bears have their home invaded by an old woman while away. Though instead of running away, I think she is eaten in the end. So both versions have an old lady. Goldilocks is not an old lady.

Joseph Cundall is credited with being the first to write the iconic intruder as a young girl instead of an old woman. She has a more naïve, wide eyed demeanor vs the typical grouchy and crusty old woman. His apparent reasoning for this was because there were just too many stories with old women. So he wanted to give the story a fresh take.

But we're starting to build the character Goldilocks. The trope of a young child stuck. Re-tellings of the story had a young girl burglar; and there was a cultural bias toward youth/innocence and blond hair at the time. (It's also probably partly why so many early Disney Characters are blonde) So the young girl was often described to have golden blonde hair.

But a name wasn't always used in the story. If it was, she was called things like "Little Golden Hair"; probably due to the story of little red ridding hood. But nothing consistently stuck. At lest, not until 1904 when author Flora Annie Steel wrote her book 'English Fairy Tales'. In it, she tells the story of the three bears, and gives the little girl her iconic name: Goldilocks.

Before Pride Month completely wraps up, I wanna share a song that I find to be absolutely hilarious in hindsight. It's a song Performed by Irving Kaufman in 1926 called "Masculine Women Feminine Men". It's literally a song complaining about how gender norms are changing with the fashion and the times. When I played the song for my SO, he thought it was a modern song making fun of trans people and the transgender movement. When I told him the song is almost 100 years old, he almost fell over. So, it's here on youtube if you wanna give it a listen. Maybe you'll get a laugh too. Maybe it's what you need to share with a certain someone and go "SEE! This is NOT a new thing!" And if you wanna sing along (or maybe not in the mood for music) here's the lyrics:

Hey! Hey! Women are going mad, today! Hey! Hey! Fellers are just as bad, I'll say! Go anywhere, just stand and stare, You'll say they're bugs when you look at the clothes they wear.

Masculine Women, Feminine Men, which is the rooster which is the hen? It's hard to tell 'em apart today. And SAY... Sister is busy learning to shave, Brother just loves his permanent wave, It's hard to tell 'em apart today. HEY! HEY! Girls were girls and boys were boys when I was a tot, Now we don't know who is who or even what’s what. Knickers and trousers, baggy and wide, Nobody knows who's walking inside. Those Masculine Women, Feminine Men

Masculine Women. Feminine Men which is the rooster which is the hen? It's hard to tell 'em apart today. And SAY... Auntie is smoking, rolling her own, Uncle is always buying cologne. It's hard to tell 'em apart today. HEY! HEY! You go and give your girl a kiss in the hall, But instead you find you're kissing her brother Paul. Mama's got a sweater up to her chin, Papa's got a girtle holding him in. Those Masculine Women, Feminine Men

I got more things I want to add to my list of recommendations of what to keep on hand as a kitchen witch. But I figured it may be more productive to share my opinion on things most Kitchen Witches don't need. Now, this will be my experience and based on what I've heard from others. And if you have anything listed and love it, don't get rid of it or stop using it! Just if you see some of this stuff on videos or advertised; maybe pass on them.

Silicone Spoon

Silicone is great for a lot of things, and I highly recommend you have a silicone spatula for scraping. But a Silicone spoon is so impractical. It tends to be a plastic form spoon covered in a layer of silicone, so it doesn't have the same flexibility as a silicone spatula when scraping edges. Silicone also tends to be soft, so it's not unusual for it to cut or tear. For a spatula that's fine, because it's a solid piece so it can still work fine with a few nicks. But for a spoon that has a layer of silicone, it means there's a change for moisture to get in-between the layer and cause it to start separating. Not to mention the fact Silicone will melt at high heat. So if you're mixing something that can get very very hot, like oil or sugar, your spoon may melt. Then there's just the fact nothing sticks properly. Which sounds great for cleaning, but can be a pain if you're trying to check if a sauce or custard is done. Stick with a wooden spoon and use a silicone spatula when you want to scrape.

Garlic Press

A controversial one for sure! You see these used all the time in cooking videos. But they are so impractical. All the garlic doesn't even go through the press, and you still need to sever the end from the press. Mincing garlic with a chef knife is far more effective. However, I know not everyone has the dexterity to mince garlic. So, some alternatives: Blend a big batch using a food processor, and freeze portions for later. There's a few videos on ways to do this, but my favourite way I've seen uses a ziplock bag and chopstick. Use a microplane grater. Just grate the gloves using a microplane and you'll easily get the fine pieces you are after. The neat thing is a Microplane can be used for a variety of foods, while a garlic press is limited to just...well garlic.

Egg Separator

These can be really cute and funny and sometimes make fun decore. But, realistically speaking, they don't work any better than just using your hands. Or if you hate touching egg, tipping the yolk back and forth between the cracked shells. Every single fancy egg separator I have seen is just as effective, and yolks have the same break rate (which is low) Save your money, save your space, don't get these. Oh and a quick note about eggs; don't get egg holders. Yeah they're cute, but for something that only has one purpose, they can take up a fair bit of space. Instead, try using standard shot glasses. It's what my parents had us use when we were kids.

Specialty Peelers/Cutters

I'm talking big, turn style apple peelers, pineapple peeler and corer, banana slicers; anything that's for one specific type or size of food. You really don't need it, and it takes up space. Just use your vegetable peeler and knife. If you have trouble cutting evenly, perhaps consider a mandolin. These allow you to slice a variety of foods thinly. Just take great care, as these are very sharp and it can be easy to slice off a finger tip if you are not using proper safety measures.

Turkey Baster

I have one of these in my kitchen drawer since moving in with my SO years ago. Neither of us have ever used it. A baster is used for 1 thing which can be substituted for a ladle or large spoon. Many people still see this as an essential for cooking meat though, so take this with a grain of salt. I'd also add roasting pan; since any time I make a roast now I grab my Crock Pot. But I'm aware a roasting Pan has it's uses for other people.

More Jars and Containers

This might seem weird cause I put glass jars down as a needed must for Kitchen Witchcraft. This is not a PSA for those of you who have just started your collection and have maybe 20 jars. This is to those of us who have accumulated over 200 with realistically only enough space for half that. Stop it. Maybe start giving some of your jars away that you've washed and reused from products. Same goes for plastic containers. I have a habit of saving my large yogurt containers, but they just started taking up too much space. Find a balance is all I'm saying.

I remember reading this book in class while in grade school and thought it was the funniest thing ever. Like peek humor for 8 year old me. It's a book, first published in the 90s, that is basically a parody of popular fairytales.

The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales by Jon Scieszka

Alright time for Part 2, Ingredients! Again, this is my person preference, and it's like my third time trying to write this out so bear with me. These are things I tend to keep on hand, and this list is not going to just include Salt, Pepper, Garlic; You got that already. I hope. If you're looking for info on Tools, check out Part 1. Onions: I keep a bowl of onions on one of my shelves in my kitchen. I find they keep better outside of the fridge, and I can easily see when I'm running low. Onions have strong protective and good cleansing properties so I tend to add them to my pot or pan before adding any other food. I also like to let them caramelize to get that transformative element.

Lemons: Lemons are great to use in so many dishes, both sweet and savory. You can zest the peel for it's oils and fragrance. You can squeeze the lemon for it's juice and acid. They're associated with beauty, longevity, positivity, mental clarity, cleansing; ect. One of the great things about lemons is thanks to their peel, you can leave them out at room temperature for long periods of time, so long at the peel is unbroken. So if you need to make space in your fridge, pull out your lemons.

Cinnamon Sticks: Okay so every witch has ground cinnamon. It's one of the easiest and cheapest spices to get. It's in every beginner box of witchy herbs. And it that's because it's absolutely fantastic to use. The problem with cooking, however, ground cinnamon isn't always the best option. The power is very fine, but also gritty. So it can be hard to strain out if you are just wanting to infuse some cinnamon. It's why I keep sticks on hand. They're also great for seasonal garlands and bundles.

Italian Seasoning: Rosemary, Thyme, Basil and Oregano. That is what's in Italian seasoning. Do I have these seasonings separate? Yes I do. And there are other seasonings in there like Marjoram, Summer Savory, Sage, Parsley; it varies a little from brand to brand. But if I'm in a rush, I can grab that Italian seasoning to make my food tasty and include one (or all) of the spice correlation properties. Quick note; if you're buying yours, check the ingredients. It should list what spices it's using. I bought a big thing of "Italliano" once without checking and my food was just not emotionally the same. I checked the ingredients and is was mostly dried bell peppers and salt.

Cayenne: It's cheap, spicy, and banishes bad shit. That's all I ask of it.

Vinegar: This may seem odd since vinegar is largely associated with souring spells and Hexes. But it also has strong cleansing an protecting properties too. You can also use it as a preventative property to deture people from asking uncomfortable questions or bringing up touchy topics. But vinegar is also an important tool in the culinary world. A lot of the time, if you taste your food and it tastes flat or bland, even with lots of seasonings, a little acid and brighten it up. Sure you can use lemon juice, but sometime you just need a tsp, and opening a jar of vinegar is easier than juicing a lemon. Vinegar is a key component in many sauces and marinades. Not to mention being used in pickling. Then they are a lot of uses outside cooking, like help with cleaning. My MIL's favorite way to wash windows is still spray with white vinegar and wipe with newspapers.

Canned Milk: So we all keep some kind of milk in the fridge. Dairy milk, Oat milk, Almond Milk, Soy Milk, lots of wonderful kinds of milk. So why keep canned milk? Well, canned milk tends to be thicker and creamery than regular fridge milks. Yes, I can go out and get cream, but it's often cheaper and easier to just use some canned milk I have laying around. Plus, sometimes cream is too rich for what I want. The three main kinds of canned milk I keep on hand are Evaporated Milk, Sweet and Condensed Milk, and Coconut Milk. If you drink only dairy milk, I recommend keeping at lest one can of coconut milk on hand too. In case one day you find yourself cooking for someone who can't have dairy milk.

Soy Sauce: This is a great, inexpensive flavor enhancer that I add to soups, curries, and meats. I buy it in bulk, and I always get more before I run out. Because of it's dark color, and it's made from soy, it has strong protection and banishing properties for me.

Cumin: This is a weird one for me. I go through waves of using cumin and not using cumin. I'll use it for every other meal one month, then not touch it again for another month. So, to preserve it's flavor and aroma, I buy whole cumin seeds, and crush them as I need them. But I like keeping cumin on hand since many recipes online will include cumin in their spices.

I'm just going to say now this is just my opinion. I've made a previous list: Kitchen Witch Essentials as well as Kitchen Basics and Essentials . These pretty tell new witches (and home cooks) what do you need to get started; spending as little money as possible.

But I've wanted to expand on this because, this is no where near all I use. So if you're just starting out, check out the first two lists first. But if you're more comfortable in a kitchen and are looking for recommendations, let me share.

Tools

Stick Blender

Also called an emersion blender. I use this for so many things from soups to sauces to smoothies. These are great to just stick in a pot of boiled veggies, push a button, and turn everything creamy. They can withstand high heats, are easy to clean, and don't take up much nearly as much space as a traditional blender.

Whisk

As much as I love my wooden spoon, it can't do everything. Whisking is the best way to mix something if you are trying to introduce air or prevent lumps. Metal is my preferred material. Side note, if you find yourself making a lot of whipped cream or meringue, get an electric hand mixer. I only use mine like once every 3 or 4 months but I'm so happy when it's there.

Silicone Spatula

Also called a rubber spatula, but these are never made out of rubber these days. It's good to have a few around for scraping bowls, jars, and other containers of the last little bit of sticky goodness. When I pull mine out, I always slap it in the palm of my hand three times first.

Chopsticks

I use these SO often, they've almost become my new wooden spoon. They're great for stirring things in jars since they're long and skinny. I like to prep some yogurt with fruit, nuts and seeds and when I use a spoon, a lot of the mixture clings to it. Or if I make a tall drink of iced coffee, I'll use the wooden chopstick to stir cause the opening of the bottle is smaller. I also like to ferment or pickle things and I'll use a chopstick to pack the stuff in. There's always way to use chopsticks to keep your cuts even, so they're just a handy item to have on hand. Plus, it's the best way to eat ramen.

Cooking Scissors

These are Scissors you use just on food. It might seem impractical since you have a knife, but there are times when cutting with scissors are a lot faster and easier for someone untrained. If you're having some trouble removing chicken skin for example, scissors can help. I like to cut green onions. But it's also good for a more ritualistic sense. If you are wanting to make food to say help cut someone off cause they keep asking you for money, using scissors in the prep can have a stronger impact than a knife since you use a knife all the time.

Cheese Cloth/Fine Mesh Strainers

Strainers are just helpful in general in general cooking. I grew up with a colander which helps you drain pasta. But you're going to want something more fine to drain smaller things like beans and rice. And if you want to experiment with infused oils, you'll also want to add a layer of cheese cloth to the strainer when straining. Cheese cloth can also be handy for a few other things. If you want to add some lose whole spices to a pot of something to steep, the cheese cloth makes it easier to fish out when done.

Tea Pot with Infuser

A tea pot with a built in strainer is so helpful. It not only allows you to make lose leaf and herbal teas. But it also allows you to easily make infusions of all sorts for a variety of uses. Lemon peel steeped in hot water is my go to for a cleansing spray. Just make sure the infuser/strainer can be easily removed and cleaned.

Digital Scale

Even though I don't Bake a ton, I still use this a lot. See, Cup sizes actually vary from country to country. It's not standard world wide. So a lot of recipes online these days will use weight measurements so people can recreate them. If it's just one ingredient, yeah you can look up the conversion. But if it's all 12; it's easier to pull out the scale.

I found a really bizarre book of Classic fairytales that have been rewritten or reinterpreted. Now, this isn't exactly unusual; authors have been doing this since the printing press was made accessible. But I couldn't help but chuckle some at this version of Goldilocks and the three bears. Not only has young Goldie been replaced with an unnamed old woman. But Papa, Mama, and Baby bear are now referred to as Huge Bear, Middle sized bear, and Wee bear. So if you would like a version of this story where the family is not gendered; maybe you are a same sex couple with a child (or a dog who likes to be read to, no judgment) this kind of thing might be what you're looking for. Either way, I found it interesting.

There were once three bears who lived together in a little house in the middle of a wood. One of them was a Little, Small, Wee Bear; one was a Middle-Sized Bear; and the other was a Great, Huge Bear.

And they each had a pot to eat their porridge from: a little pot for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; a middle-sized pot for the Middle-Sized Bear; and a great big pot for the Great, Huge Bear.

And they each had a chair to sit on: a little chair for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; a middle-sized chair for the Middle-Sized Bear; and a great big chair for the Great, Huge Bear.

And they each had a bed to sleep in: a little bed for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; a middle-sized bed for the Middle-Sized Bear; and a great big bed for the Great, Huge Bear.

One day they made the porridge for their breakfast, and poured it into their porridge-pots, and then went out in the wood for a walk while the porridge for their breakfast was cooling. And while they were out walking, a little Old Woman came to the house in the wood and peeped inside.

First she peeped through the keyhole; then she peeped through the window. Then she lifted the latch and peeped through the doorway; and, seeing nobody in the house, she walked in. And when she saw the porridge cooling on the table she was very pleased, for she had walked a long way, and was getting hungry.

So first she tasted the porridge of the Great, Huge Bear, but that was too hot. Then she tasted the porridge of the Middle-Sized Bear, but that was too cold. And then she tasted the porridge of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and that was neither too hot nor too cold, but just right. And she liked it so much that she ate it all up!

Then the little Old Woman sat down in the chair of the Great, Huge Bear, but that was too hard. Then she sat down in the chair of the Middle-Sized Bear, but that was too soft. Then she sat down in the chair of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and that was neither too hard nor too soft, but just right. And she liked it so much that she sat in it until suddenly the bottom came out, and she fell down plump upon the ground.

Then the little Old Woman went upstairs into the bedroom, where the three Bears slept. And first she lay down on the bed of the Great, Huge Bear, but that was too high at the head for her. Then she lay down on the bed of the Middle-Sized Bear, but that was too high at the foot for her. So then she lay down on the bed of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and that was neither too high at the head nor too high at the foot, but just right. And she liked it so much that she covered herself up and lay there till she fell fast asleep!

By and by the three Bears came home to breakfast. Now, the little Old Woman had left the spoon of the Great, Huge Bear standing in his porridge pot.

Somebody has been at my porridge!"

said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.

And when the Middle-Sized Bear looked, she saw that the spoon was standing in her porridge-pot too.

Somebody has been at my porridge!"

said the Middle-Sized Bear in her middle-sized voice.

Then the Little, Small, Wee Bear looked, and there was the spoon in his porridge-pot; but the porridge was all gone.

Somebody has been at my porridge and has eaten it all up!"

said the Little, Small, Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.

Then the three Bears began to look about them. Now, the little Old Woman had not put the hard cushion straight after she had sat in the chair of the Great, Huge Bear.

"Somebody has been sitting in my chair!"

said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.

And the little Old Woman had squashed the soft cushion of the Middle-Sized Bear.

"Somebody has been sitting in my chair!"

said the Middle-Sized Bear, in her middle-sized voice.

And you know what the little Old Woman had done to the third chair.

"Somebody has been sitting in my chair and has sat the bottom out!"

said the Little, Small, Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.

Then the three Bears went upstairs into their bedroom. Now, the little Old Woman had pulled the pillow of the Great, Huge Bear out of its place.

"Somebody has been lying in my bed!"

said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.

And the little Old Woman had pulled the bolster of the Middle-Sized Bear out of its place.

"Somebody has been lying in my bed!"

said the Middle-Sized Bear, in her middle-sized voice.

And when the Little, Small, Wee Bear came to look at his bed, there was the bolster in its place, and the pillow in its place upon the bolster; and upon the pillow was the little Old Woman's head, which was not in its place, for she had no business there at all.

"Somebody has been lying in my bed—and here she is!"

cried the Little, Small, Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.