My first headcannon thing (am I doing this right?)
Dex and Nursey (and Whiskey) just chilling at the Haus
Dex and Whisky studying at the kitchen table. They have a friendship built on dry wit and communicating with eyebrows.
Nursey is getting ready to go out to a thing an important thing, and is freaking out a bit about his outfit (only a bit though, cos he's chill)
Nurse come downstairs with big Look-At-Me energy. He huffs and shifts around around until Whiskey gives in and looks at him.
Nurse whines dramatically about how he looks like shit and he needs to look good and nothing looks good. "Whisk, do I look good?" But he's pitiful and whining and doing puppy dog eyes.
Whisky cracks a half smile, Nursey is genuinely amusing. "You look good Nurse"
Nursey is satisfied for a moment, but doubt and super not chill insecurity comes back, he looks to Dex. Because Dex's opinion matters for some fucking reason.
More huffing and trying to get Dex's attention (not successfully), before "Dex, Dex, do I look good?"
Dex knows that tone, the 'i'm losing my chill, make it it better' tone. Dex also knows their friendship is a fine balance, a constant game to see who the upper hand.
Dex doesn't look away from his laptop, he doesn't look at Nurse. He affects a tone of voice that one might use when telling a 11 year old whatever that want to hear so that they'll go away. "You look good, Nurse"
Nurse pauses, then the huffing and melodrama and the heavy shifting of his body in space returns but bigger. Nurse is going full Extra.
He throws his body up the stairs back to his room whining/yelling about how crap he looks and he can't go out now, he'll have to stay home because he's hideous and "nothing looks good!"
Time passes. Nursey doesn't come down again. He should have left by now. Maybe he's not going to his thing. Shit. And Whiskey keeps looking at Dex, talking with his eyebrow. Whisk's eyebrow is saying "you did this"
Dex groans "What?!" (He knows What). Whisky: "He cares what you think." Dex: "I don't know anything about clothes". Whisk is silent, and slowly raises his eyebrows, just in the middle.
Dex turns "fuck" into a drawn out whine as is he pushes his chair back and very not gracefully heads upstairs.
But Dex has a problem; a genuine compliment will give Nurse the upper hand, it'll be like Nurse won something, and therefore Dex lost, is the loser. Luckily as he reaches Nursey's door he has an idea, a fucking brilliant idea. Give Nurse what he wants but not cede any ground. Dex is a damn genius.
Dex knocks "Nurse, Nurse". From behind the closed door he hears "Nothing looks good, it's all shit". Dex assumes this means 'come in'.
Starfished on the floor in a completely different outfit is Derek Nurse. Dex holds in an eye roll, and waits. Nurse lasts 5 seconds before the curiosity is too much.
Nurse: "What?" Dex waits. "Whaaat?" Dex waits, and lets a smile creep up on the corner of his mouth (he has had a great idea after all).
Nurse sees the smile and gives Dex his full attention (Dex knew he would). Dex waits. Nurse pulls himself up to standing, facing Dex. "What?"
It's time. Dex takes a breath and drops all expression from his face. He meets Nursey's eyes, holds the contact and then very slowly moves his gaze lower.
Dex's gaze roves slowly over Nursey's face to his neck. Dex continues down to Nursey's chest. It feels wierd to be looking like this. Looking so slowly, so deliberately. But he's committed now.
Dex is cataloguing all Nursey's body parts 'abs - check, more abs - check. Holy shit, I'm running out of abs, that's his, I'm looking at his, fuck - check, thighs - check'
Once Dex reaches Nursey's bare feet he starts the slow ascent with his eyes, not letting himself think about whether this really was a good idea.
Dex's eyes finally reach Nursey's face. And Nursey's face is... Nursey mouth is open, his head titled down, his eyes are boring a hole in Dex's own with their intestity. Dex holds Nursey's stare though it feels like staring at the sun. Dex is glad his face is still blank, years of practice.
Dex is nothing if not committed to his own now admittedly stupid idea. With a steady voice, a little deeper than intended, Dex slowing and deliberately says "You look good, Nurse".
Before his face muscles try to move of there own accord, Dex turns around and leaves Nurse's room. Behind him he hears an exhale (was Nurse not breathing?) and the words float out on the out breath, barely above a whisper "fuck me".
Dex smiles, pretty fucking pleased himself. No ground ceded, he still has the upper hand, and he's a damn genius.
Dex is about to round into the kitchen when he hears from the top of the stairs "William J Poindexter, did you just EYE FUCK ME?!?"
...
A terrible idea, a terrible fucking idea.
