a writing blog for an original , canon - divergent character drawing from netflix’s 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 . completely unaffiliated with the st fandom . made by annie , please read disclaimer and rules before interacting , as dark themes will be present . 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝑣𝑎𝑟𝘩𝑒𝑙𝑎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝑙𝑎𝘩𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑠 . credit to daevilhorns for the audio pinned .
𝙳𝙰𝙵𝙵𝙾𝙳𝙸𝙻 " 𝙳𝙰𝙵𝙵 " 𝙵𝙾𝙶𝙴𝙻𝚂 , daughter of two jailbirds from hawkins . almost no one noticed when she vanished in early november of 1983 . she did not return until october 31st of 1984 , found at a halloween party with allegedly no recollection of where she’d gone . when pressed by the police , the only thing she said was that she had been upside down .
disclaimer : the duffer brothers and i are not on speaking terms , and i will regularly disrespect canon in favour of doing my own thing . in addition , daffodil’s backstory includes themes of drug abuse , domestic violence , neglect , child abuse , chronic illness , eating disorders , animal death and arguably justified murder .
𝑟𝑢𝑙𝑒𝑠 :
annie , 24 , she / they
i am on permanent semi - hiatus and i am mutuals only . that means i will only write with people i follow .
no muns under the age of 18 , no ships with underage muses
ships are based on chem , i don’t ship with more than one of the same muse
i will not write with vecna portrayals if only because my worldbuilding for the upside down very much diverges from canon . it’s nothing personal , i just don’t want to ask someone to bend their characterization to my whims
i soft block if i choose not to follow back , just to keep my dash clean . absolutely nothing you did , i just get overwhelmed easily .
i’m hesitant to follow original muses using barbie ferreira as a face claim because of the heavy association that both daffodil and i have of her with varhela
no rape / incest / non - con . if you’re racist or phobic , you get blocked
psd is dr sattler by jaynedits !
my replies are not very long because i have adhd , it’s nothing personal . please don’t pressure me to match length .
these rules are subject to be expanded upon
the bio isn’t perfect but feel free to ask me anything while i clown <3
age : eighteen (upon return in 1984), twenty (by 1986)
gender : demi - female
orientation : bisexual , demiromantic
date of birth : june 14th , 1967
place of birth : hawkins , indiana
hair color : sandy blonde
eye color : hazel
height : five feet
weight : 165 lbs
occupation : small - time drug dealer and formerly the sole caregiver to her father , volunteers at her gran’s former care facility , applegrove retirement home
hobbies : reading the hobbit again , making up character sheets for dnd campaigns she’ll never play , baking the best apple pie she can
relations : deceased father ( hank ) , died in his home of a drug overdose . absent mother ( linnea ) who moved back in with her daughter after her husband’s untimely death . younger sister ( rosemary , born 1972 ) put up for closed adoption .
𝑏𝑖𝑜 .
born in 1967 to an addict nam vet ( hank ) who felt compelled to raise her and a mother ( linnea ) who wanted commitment from her shit boyfriend , daffodil was not a happy child .
she was bullied at home and at school , her parents did not take her differing from other children as a good thing .
the sister she was supposed to have , the second attempt to fix their family went just as horribly as the first . daffodil knew her sister , rosemary for a month before the deplorable conditions her family lived in caught up . rosemary fogels was given up for a closed adoption by her mother , unable to afford to raise two terrible mistakes .
the long , slow death of her parents’ marriage culminated early on in the grand scene of things . when she was eight years old her mother had enough , she walked out on her husband and daughter .
her dad got sick when she was ten . she didn’t start out taking care of him and he didn’t start out hitting her . it got to be that by the end . when she was fourteen , she snapped . the middle of a heat wave and he wouldn’t let her turn on her fan , he hated the noise .
she put rat poison in his food and doesn’t regret it , she called her mother and she came back to hawkins to help hide the body .
life went on as normal , but daffodil retreated further within herself . a childhood that should’ve been spent on hopscotch and hula hooping was given to a monster who ended up dead anyway . she didn’t know how to talk to people her age , and to their parents she was one to keep away from .
she was in the woods on a walk the night of november 8th , 1983 . something chased her off the path , like it wanted her to go to a gap between the trees . when she emerged on the other side , she wasn’t in kansas any more .
she lost the monster but needed to find it again when she started getting hungry . daffodil was in a perfect recreation of her town , but it was twisted and wrong . she survived on what she could scavenge from pantries and animal remains the demogorgon didn’t eat .
and she sang to herself . queen’s fat bottomed girls was the most popular choice . she ran , hid and ran for nine months . in hawkins , her only friend through her period of isolation ( @lahiris ) put up missing posters that went largely ignored .
on halloween night of 1984 , daffodil found that gap in the trees again . she emerged in the woods , freezing and certain she was dreaming . she stumbled off in the direction of lights and noise , finding a party of all things .
it was assumed she came dressed as a zombie , but lucia ( @varhela ) knew something was wrong . daffodil didn’t know what day it was , where she was . she was taken to the hospital and treated for parasites and what was ultimately diagnosed as a non - contagious , likely chronic form of tuberculosis of the lungs .
that same night, she broke out of her room and went to sign up for hellfire club.
she was sent home later that week , and had to resume life as if she had only been missing on a bender . she had flunked out of a year of school and was facing the extended humiliation of graduating late .
unable to put the pieces of where she had been and what was going on together by herself , daffodil scoped out the surroundings of hawkins lab over the course of the next several days , finally breaking in and being apprehended by dr owens on the night of the demodog attack .
she survived and was informed about the true nature of the upside down , its presumed creation and what exactly was chasing her . daffodil armed herself with a firewood axe that has lived beside her bed ever since .
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𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙶𝙻𝙾𝚆𝚂 𝙱𝚁𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝙲𝙾 𝙱𝙰𝙻𝙻 , the loud smile on her sweet face all the brighter for whatever the fuck is in the punch . could be vodka , she has another sip and decides she’ll pin it down with her next glass .
the poor bitch next to her is struggling . she turns to grin at daniel , knocking her wedge - heeled foot against his leg in solidarity .
❝ 𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤 , ❞ she waggles her eyebrows at him , sitting back against the bleachers with smug satisfaction . ❝ i’m a girl , you know ? come onnnn , woo me , i wanna see the charm . ❞
daffodil’s lord of the rings au is , by its nature , simple in its origin . she’s a stout girl , half dwarf ( and miserably sad she can’t grow a beard ) and a barmaid at the prancing pony in bree . one night after that party in the shire she couldn’t get work off to go to , an elderly hobbit came into the inn , name of bilbo baggins .
he explained he was going to see the elves in rivendell , to finish his book . daffodil was delighted instantly , and offered to accompany him as protection . he would pay her two silver coins a day plus all seven standard hobbit meals , and she found that very generous .
she quit her job without hesitation , and stays with bilbo when he finds himself too sick to continue his travels further .
𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝚂 𝚃𝙴𝙰𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙰𝙽 𝙸𝙳𝙸𝙾𝚃 𝙱𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙲 𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙷 , one plus one equals make a move . but he doesn’t get it , she understands why . they’ve been friends long enough , off and on , which she knows is her fault . she’s the one who disappeared , literally .
and you’re the one who would’ve looked for me , she thinks , staring at him with so much pained resignation . she’ll have to open up her chest for him to understand at this rate .
❝ 𝑦𝑒𝑠 , 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝘩𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝘩𝑎𝑛𝑑 , ❞ this is humiliating and she doesn’t care . it’s what it takes . she reaches out , her soft palm covering his knuckles . ❝ come on , eddie , people are staring . i ... i thought ... you ... ❞
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𝙸𝚃 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂𝙽'𝚃 𝙷𝚄𝚁𝚃 𝙼𝙴 , 𝙳𝙾 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙰 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻 𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙸𝚃 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂 ? the water is rising , its tides pulled by a red moon in the center of a pale sky . her upside - down looks sick , a twisted variation of hawkins whose condition can only worsen .
❝ 𝑖 𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒 , 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑒 . ❞ she feels so attached to what is and yet is not his name .
daffodil wants to throw her arms around him , push her fingers into his curls and never resurface . she wouldn’t mind the water if she drowned with him .
it’s why she steps back . ❝ but you don’t . you have to choose , and it can’t be me . ❞
“ you don’t have to hide your tears from me . ”
“ you’re doing great , okay ?? i mean it . ”
“ you are so strong . ”
“ please don’t ever give up . ”
“ i will always believe in you . ”
“ why do you always think you have to do everything on your own ?? ”
“ it’s okay , i’m here . i’ll always be here . ”
“ you’ve always been strong for me . let me return the favor . ”
“ just listen to my heartbeat , okay ?? ”
“ come on , take a deep breath . it’s gonna be alright . ”
“ please , just hold me . ”
“ you always meant the world to me . i’m sorry i let you forget that . ”
“ i never stopped loving you . ”
“ you’ll feel better if you talk about it . i’m here to listen . ”
“ you’re so much more than the mistakes you’ve made . ”
“ i forgive you . ”
“ you are so fucking powerful . ”
“ i’m not leaving you here . ”
“ i trust you more than anyone else in this universe . ”
“ it’s okay to be confused . nobody has all the answers . ”
“ i’m so , so sorry . you didn’t deserve that . ”
“ healing is not linear , but it’s always moving forward . ”
“ you can admit that you’re hurting . it’s okay to not be okay . ”
“ hold my hand ?? ”
“ you are my home . ”
“ no matter what anyone else says , you are so important to me . ”
“ don’t worry . i’ll protect you . ”
“ shh , it was just a nightmare . you’re safe . ”
“ don’t talk about yourself like that . ”
“ just say the word . you know i’d do anything for you . ”
“ you are loved . ”
“ i just need a hug . ”
“ i’ll destroy anything that so much as thinks of harming you . ”
“ don’t ever let anyone make you feel ashamed of who you are . ”
“ you’re not alone . you’re stuck with me forever . sorry . ”
“ well , hello sleeping beauty . you fell asleep on me . ”
“ if you don’t take your butt back to bed , i will carry you there myself . ”
“ i’m sorry to wake you up , but i really need someone to talk to . ”
“ i hate seeing you like this … please , let me help . ”
“ you are & always will be precious to me . ”
“ i can’t believe that asshole said that to you . it’s not true , you know . ”
“ you want me to punch him in the face ?? ”
“ you deserve every good thing in the world . ”
“ you know i always have your back . ”
“ you don’t have to worry about anything , as long as i’m around . ”
“ stop apologizing , okay ?? i’ve already told you i’ve forgiven you a hundred times now . ”
“ don’t beat yourself up over this . be kind to yourself , it’s not your fault . ”
𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃 , 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴'𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙽𝙴 . he’s so much like jeff she could put a brick through her windshield , sitting in the back of her campervan curled around herself with the weight of everything making her heart crack . the pressure bearing down is glass on top of a butterfly , daffodil feels exposed as a nerve when she lifts her head .
❝ 𝑤𝘩𝑦 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝘩𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 ? ❞ her eyes feel like holes , burst from her skull . she can still feel the water around her neck , the impulse to give up with a scream . ❝ i ― i have nothing , eddie . why ― why would i want anyone else with me ? ❞
she has a mother and she’s alone in the back of a van with a guy so insecure he can’t just hug her . that’s the hand she’s been dealt . daffodil feels herself wilting , digging her fingers into the patches on her jeans and pulling until they rip loose . she isn’t satisfied until there’s a hole she’s torn through them .
❝ my ― my old man , he told me to watch out for monsters . ed , can you fucking believe i do for five minutes ? ❞ her heart feels like a hammer . hot , angry tears roll over the circles under her eyes , purple as bruises . ❝ can you trust that for once you’re not one of them ? ❞
❝ you need someone. let me be that person. let me be what you need. ❞
❝ look, i dunno if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now. but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here. ❞
❝ i never realized how much i needed you until you were the one person who wasn’t there. ❞
❝ you asked me once, if i would ever take a chance on us…maybe that ship sailed. but. ask me again? sometime— doesn’t have to be today. maybe tomorrow just. ask me again. ❞
❝ i know i can’t protect you from everything, but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control. ❞
❝ i used to have so much faith. maybe not in deities or something but, in the world. the universe. i believed their was a purpose to it all. i’m not sure when i lost that. ❞
❝ have you ever had something…missing? like something just doesn’t feel right inside you but you don’t know what it is. ❞
❝ sometimes, i just need the world to be beautiful. i know how dark and ugly it can be but i just want to see something good and focus only on it for a few minutes. ❞
❝ i was sort’ve hoping you needed me. is that selfish? ❞
❝ people need someone to see them for what they are and not just see it but accept it. i want to be that person for anyone i can…but it can be so suffocating to be that person and also remain unseen. ❞
❝ sometimes i feel i’m being crushed under the weight of everything i’ll never be. ❞
❝ you’re looking at me but you’re not seeing me. do you know how that feels? just see me. please. ❞
❝ i want to deserve you. i’m trying to deserve you. ❞
❝ i know i fucked up. i know i did but don’t shut me out anymore. let me in. please let in. ❞
❝ every time you smile at me, i memorize it. i remember each moment that i get to be the one to bring out that light inside you. no matter what happens between us, that’s what i’ll remember. ❞
❝ i can’t help but think there’s got to be something out there for me, somewhere. just some place where i actually feel like i belong. ❞
❝ the world is so big. why do i never feel like i fit into it? ❞
❝ when i’m with you i feel like myself. i feel like every side of me is present and accepted. and i feel good about it— i feel good about who i am when i’m with you. ❞
❝ do you like me? i know you love me. i know you care about me but. do you like who i am? ❞
❝ i want to look in the mirror one day and not feel uncomfortable with my own reflection. ❞
❝ just take my hand and close your eyes. pretend we’re anywhere else but here. ❞
❝ so, what would you be? if you had to power to change all the things making you unhappy, what would your life look like? ❞
❝ do you even know what it does to me? every time i see you cry, any time you’re hurt even the smallest bit it just— do you realize how deeply you’ve imbedded yourself into my heart? ❞
❝ i don’t feel like a whole person without you anymore. i don’t fucking care if anyone else would say about that. you’re part of who i am now. the most important piece of me. ❞
❝ every time you walk away you take another piece of me with you. ❞
❝ i’m only really living in the moments when we’re together. the rest is just existing until you look at me again. ❞
❝ it feels like there’s a string around my heart and it’s connected to you. everywhere you go you’re just tugging me behind, pulling me towards you. ❞
❝ you’ve got me in the palm of your hands. you could crush me and i would still thank you for touching me at all. ❞
❝ i no longer know where i end and you begin. you’ve wound yourself around my soul so tightly, you’re all i feel anymore. ❞
❝ you’ve stolen my heart, the least you could do is tell me what you intend to do with it. ❞
❝ i don’t have perfect words. i’m not the kind of person who knows how to sound poetic and shit. so all i know what to tell you is that i belong to you. i don’t know if you want me. but i’m yours. and at this point however it is you need me, i’m here. ❞
❝ you’re the only thing that matters anymore. i can’t eat, i can’t sleep— all the goddamn cliches from every stupid movie and song. you’re all i think about. i’m useless except when i’m yours. ❞
❝ i haven’t stopped thinking about the way you laugh. i’m hoping i’ll get to hear it again. ❞
❝ when your eyes are on me, i feel like something worth seeing. ❞
❝ just let me look at you for a little bit. ❞
❝ i would do anything for you. all my lines and rules. they mean nothing when it comes to you. it’d cross and break them all just to make you happy. ❞
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𝙸𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙰𝙻𝚆𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙳𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙱𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙼𝙾𝚂𝚃 . love can have limitations , perhaps there are times when it should and yet never has she found so much resistance to her own desperation . her parents would push her for hours to listen to every problem they had , but when she needed them their steadfast insistence that family was everything vanished .
❝ 𝑖 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 , 𝑚𝑢𝑡𝑡 . ❞ she sighs , confusion at how exactly she can begin to open up at him clouding her eyes . she wants to cry . ❝ can i have a hug ? ❞
the fact that they just left eddie in the boathouse doesn’t sit right with me . daff gonna park melkor round the back and give him somewhere to sleep and a fucking getaway car .
night was falling and had he not been wrapped in a blanket, he would have been shivering. he likes it cold, he remembers will saying. perhaps this chilly spring weather was all his doing. maybe they weren’t going to have a hot summer this year. maybe they wouldn’t have one at all. jim shakes his head of the thought, remembering why he came outside in the first place.
it was april. he couldn’t tell you the day, but he knew the date. fourth of april. 1987. sara would have been sixteen by now. he lets out a huff of air through his nostrils, a fond chortle. jim often wonders what she would have been like. if she would have made friends with the kids he watches over. knowing how much she loved space……she probably would.
he doesn’t realize he’s got tears down his cheeks until daffodil sits next to him, and suddenly his cheeks are a little cold. a heavy hand immediately wipes them away and he sniffs, turning his head away until he gets a whiff of what’s inside of the box she holds. slowly does his head turn toward her, eyes drifting to the joints inside, and then up to her with a raised brow.
“ i’m sorry –– how old are you again ? ” he asks, as if that matters right now, lighting the joint with the lighter in his pocket.
𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚅𝙰𝙲𝙰𝙽𝚃 , 𝙽𝙰𝙼 𝚅𝙴𝚃 𝙴𝚇𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 . her dad had it , sitting in his chair and placidly digesting miami vice . it was her way of knowing the nightmare had ended for the day . whatever screaming to come would belong to her , into a pillow .
he’s crying how forcibly absent fathers do , she understands when a little alternative medicine is needed . she reaches out , her warm , wide thumb brushing away an errant tear track on his freezing cheek .
❝ 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦 - 𝑠𝑖𝑥 , ❞ the clack of her zippo firing up and summarily being put out breaks the cold night’s silence . she grins at him , all metal braces . ❝ old enough to be your mother with how my back feels . stop deflecting . ❞
𝙷𝙴'𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙽 , 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙰 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝚃𝚈 - 𝙵𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝚈𝙴𝙰𝚁 𝙾𝙻𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙴𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙴𝙳 𝙴𝚇𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝙾𝙽 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 . daffodil doesn’t like the grown - up resignation to a life of malcontent coming from a boy who’s not even to high school yet .
not to say it isn’t earned , sometimes she inhales and still remembers the dead way the upside - down smelled . some things just stick in your mind .
❝ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑚'𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑐𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 . 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑖𝑡 . ❞ daff knows he’s heard the obvious truth about mrs byers , that she can’t help freaking out . it’s part of being a good mother , and even good ones can make mistakes . ❝ listen , kid , rita and i are going to indy this weekend . there’s this awesome game store you’ll love . come with us . your friends are gonna wish they had time for dnd . ❞
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1 . seventh son of a seventh son / iron maiden .
2 . the works / queen .
3 . kill ‘em all / metallica .
4 . plantasia / mort garson .
5 . diamond day / vashti bunyan .
𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙸𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙰 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙱𝙻𝙴 𝙻𝙰𝙳𝚈 , swaying against the lab counter with a vacant expression in her eyes . he said she’d been unresponsive at her locker for ages , and daffodil doesn’t remember that .
she remembers water , the thing beneath the waves tugging hard on her ankle . she chose to scream , it drowned her .
daffodil snatches up the styrofoam cup and chugs the coffee inside it without thought for its temperature . she’s oblivious to the tears rolling down her cheeks until jeff’s holding her chin . he wipes them away .
❝ 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡 , ❞ she sighs , her eyes squeezing shut . but all the fear in her stomach can’t stop daffodil winding her arms around his middle . she squeezes , not too hard and does her best to stop shivering . ❝ must’ve just been the stress . ❞
