capsize.

there’s a snarky response that’s on the verge of spilling out of her mouth, but she reminds herself that they’re not alone in the room. seeing that the room was dark to begin with, jaein removed the mask that was on her face in hopes of getting a better look at the clues in front of her. the mask wasn’t heavy nor uncomfortable, but it was restraining her view of the whole room. 

she rolls her eyes at tian’s comment before lightly pushing him aside to get to another drawing which might lead to some kind of hint. “okay, mr-i’m-good-at-everything. you think you can figure out whatever the hell this means?” the only time she’s been to an escape room before was with her members, and she usually let them take over. she wasn’t born with competitive nature, and she simply liked to sit back and watch her members have fun. “i guess my brain doesn’t really wanna work right now,” is all she says in response. “you think the rest of the people in this room are smart enough to get us out?” she’s lost any kind of motivation she initially had and simply decided to stick to her position besides tian. the others can do the work which they seem to be enthusiastically doing anyway.

tian scoffed in response, tugging at various parts of the room until one of them moved, pulling out the piece with ease and a much too smug look on his face as he brought it to the center for resolution. “i am actually, in fact, a god,” he replied in passing, quietly enough to not draw attention as he went back to looking for clues, occasionally glancing over. “your brain’s never off.” it was mostly light, but he raised an eyebrow at her quizzically nonetheless, watching with some curiosity for a half beat as he wondered if something had happened with her company. “probably. or we’ll fail and they’ll just let us out to do the walk of shame.” his grin became more genuine at the discovery of switch, gesturing to it. “here, you do it.” 

“fuck, tian, stop stepping on my toes.” 

she’s about ready to step on his foot with her heels, but she decides against it the last minute. the escape room is dark, but she doesn’t think it’s that dark to the point where he needs to be hovering behind her and then suddenly stepping all over her toes. she’s already in heels which makes it even more painful. she’s regretting not bringing a spare pair of shoes, but it’s not like she knew there would be an escape room to begin with. there’s other people in the room with them, but they’re a bunch of idols and some young staff members that were brought in just to fill up the number. 

it’s unfortunate that he’s the only one she feels super comfortable speaking to, and she’s just hoping that somebody else would figure out the passcode already. “you any good at escape rooms or were you just bored?” 

@fmdtian​, october 31st, escape room

“then don’t stand so close,” he shot back, stepping away himself to keep his feet from hers, an lazy smile the only visible feature on his face. “you afraid of the dark or something?” he asked more casually, though he wasn’t sure his assumption that she had moved closer was correct. frankly, he couldn’t see much out of the mask he had on, a poor decision in hindsight. he felt like he had been bumping into people all night because his peripheral vision was more shot than usual, unable to wear his glasses on top of all of it, too. it was difficult to bite back another remark, something stupid about her wanting to be closer, but with some staff around them, he wanted to be sure they were on better behavior than usual. 

“i’m good at everything.” the boast came out more matter of fact than anything, and he lifted his mask to his forehead to start studying the tables and walls for different clues, tugging out a playing card with a symbol on it from behind a picture. “it’s all just a puzzle. you should be good at those.” 

#fmdhalloween2020 // open starter!

there’s something undeniably strange about one of ash’s first schedules since returning from his health hiatus being a party. company-hosted parties like this one never really live up to the name of a party, but the social atmosphere sets him on edge anyway. though he’s trained himself to rub elbows like a good idol should, situations like this have never come very naturally to him. he’s not entirely sure if he’s supposed to network with the hotshots on the guest list or seek out the few friends he has in attendance. it doesn’t help that the number of people he could comfortably call his friend is now noticeably lower than it had been two months ago.

luckily, he’s been given a life raft in the form of the scavenger hunt, so once anxiety begins to creep up on him, he excuses himself silently from the main ballroom to a hallway and surveys his options for less-crowded locations of the event. it’s then he catches the eye of another party-goer (ball-goer?) for long enough that he’s trapped himself into greeting them unless he wants to make things awkward.

“hey, found any of the white pumpkins yet? scavenger hunts aren’t usually my thing, but a free trip doesn’t sound so bad. or are you more of an escape room person?”

company events like this always felt unusual to tian. though he had friends in other companies and always jumped at the chance to see them, it was unusual to feel watched by so many eyes. especially given how closely bc kept an eye on knight, he wasn’t sure what exactly would be appropriate. at least with the masks, he felt a little more hidden from site than usual. he turned at the familiar voice, a little surprised to see his groupmate seemingly doing alright. 

he found himself looking for any signs of remaining fatigue, signs that their company was forcing him back too soon, but he couldn’t pick up on any. despite having shared a room for so long, he and ash were not all that close. “i think there were some out by the maze,” he answered slowly, looking over his shoulder to the door. truthfully, he hadn’t been paying that much attention to the scavenger hunt list, but white pumpkins seemed to be an easy enough one to find that potential misdirection wouldn’t hurt.

“i’m holding off on the escape room for a little longer. it seemed pretty busy when i was over there last.” 

zhang tian aesthetic: halloween (1/?) 

Somewhere in the back of his head, everything starts processing for Jude. This was not one of his members. It was also not a member of impulse, so that was a blessing. However, he had somehow managed to collapse in front of the apartment door of Knight’s maknae. So that was what two days of no sleep did to you. He supposed he should have seen that coming. “Respect your elders asshole.”

Jude made to stand up. His legs were a bit wobbly. Fuck, he was really not gonna be able to handle dance practice later without an espresso. He looked around. “Why the hell am I here?” he asked outloud. He had taken a cab. Given him the address of his friend… Or had he been so delirious he had given the address of the wrong idol? He had no idea why this idol’s address would be on his mind though. He tilted his head. Had he slept with him? No. That was definitely not it. He was fairly sure he would have remembered that. “Fuck, did I give him the wrong address?” Or did he have to kill a cab driver? 

tian nearly bit his tongue at the remark, frowning at the older origin member, a crease appearing between his forehead. respect had never been his strong suit, and it was a crucial part of his job when it came to other idols, especially from other agencies, given his past behavior and the lack of trust bc already had in him. and yet, there was still part of him incapable of letting things go. “respect your senior, man.” his tone was smug, slightly mocking knowing the difference in experience wasn’t anything major, only about a year, but that he was still correct. 

he eyed the other man skeptically as he seemed to struggle to stand for a moment, the crease deepening. “are you okay?” he asked, a look of brief distaste crossing his face when he decided he wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to the situation. “if you wanted to see me so bad, you could’ve just texted.” he finished slipping his shoes on, glancing back to his apartment with a squint. “do you want me to call you a cab or do you need to sit down longer?” 

this was the usual between them. the standard you up ? text was all that was needed to get the other into his bed these days. which, is the way harley liked it. he hadn’t always been the one to so often indulge himself in such activities, but as if late he’d found himself letting go and giving into his inhibitions more and more. usually, tian was happy to help him out.

sitting at the edge of his bed, harley ran a hand through dishevelled hair and down the back of his neck, standing to his feet with his arms above his head as he stretched out his achy body. he groaned out with the sensation, and several audible cracks were heard before he finally padded over to the bathroom, considering taking a shower to help himself relax from the physical activity. before the rapper even had the chance to call his companion over and invite him to join, something else caught his attention in the bathroom mirror.

“ yah ! you bit me ! ” he exclaimed, head tilted to the side to inspect the fresh, pink teeth marks left in the crook of his neck. it was too early to tell if they would fade quickly or not. thankfully they weren’t promoting currently, but it was always going to be something he’d have to hide. @fmdtian​

flirting was pretty standard with tian, truly, but it didn’t always end up leading to anything. he and harley had fallen into a habit more recently, though, and he certainly couldn’t complain. he wasn’t unused to hooking up, but the convenience and the ease of their arrangement was welcome, and he was happy enough to provide an outlet for harley. 

stretching out on the other’s bed, his eyes were closed as if sleeping, taking a moment of quiet before he’d have to get up and put himself back together, at least to some extent. the cracks from his companion stretching made him wince, opening one eyes to watch him move to the bathroom with some appreciation. he considered his options, joining the other or getting dressed and slipping out with a quick goodbye, but harley discovered the small hickey he had left on accident before he could make any concrete decision.

“did i?” the question was deceptively innocent, and as he padded into the bathroom his smirk gave him away as he studied the mark carefully, running a thumb over it haphazardly. “you’ve got concealer, yeah? high collared shirt and you’ll be fine, it’s barely noticeable.” 

sleeping beauty

Jude turned around, wondering where he was. Sure, he could have blamed alcohol, but there was not a single drop in his system. No, the exhaustion was solely due to the frequent promoting he had endured at the hands of Gold Star Media, who seemed to think back to back comebacks were a great idea. He had spent twenty minutes complaining on the phone to his mom last night while she had just agreed and told him he needed to nap more. Admittedly, she probably did not think he was going to do so in front of a random doorway. 

Jude did not expect to fall backwards into the shoes of some asshole that opened the damn door. He said about twelve different swear words before he finally opened his eyes, staring up at a familiar face. “Hey. Are you gonna keep fucking staring or help me up?” He was grumpy from his easily disrupted nap. “Least you can do,” he muttered. “If you break me before I have to go back to the states, you will never hear the end of it.”

tian was under strict instructions to get back into a better routine. he knew he had slipped some, but for his manager to call him so early and wake him up, he felt off for most of the rest of the day. with as little as he slept he much preferred simply working out late at night, as was his plan then, with his running shoes and running gear on. he pulled open his door with a jolt and nearly tripped over the figure outside his door, letting out a surprised swear, under his breath, staring down at the older man with an incredulous look on his face. 

“what the fuck are you doing, bro?” it took him a minute to get out, past the confusion of the appearance of the origin member outside his apartment, his brows knit together. at the other’s attitude, he sputtered a little. “you’re outside my apartment, asleep, and you expect me to not have questions?” he looked down the hallway for a camera or something to indicate this was for a show, a prank, something, but saw nothing. he finally reached a hand down to help up jude, still lost. “i don’t break people who aren’t tripping hazards.” 

though it disgusted herself to say those words to tian seeing that they were the same age, it almost seemed worth it once she saw the look of disgust on tian’s face. he was fun to play around with, but she immediately scoffed at her own fake act. “trust me, you don’t have to tell me twice. i already have to do it enough on variety shows and fansigns. it almost always only happens during the songs like this one though. i can’t think of anyone asking me for aegyo when i was performing fly high or something.” it was part of the downs that came with this double realm thing. their fanbase, though growing almost in unison these days, did still have a divide between the nightmare and normal realm which meant the fans that came in with both concepts contrasted in their own ways as well. 

“a mouse? that’s a new one. i’m guessing it’s the space buns,” she said as she dug her finger into one of them. she wasn’t offended by his comment. it was rather funny actually since nobody’s ever mentioned it before. “you sound exactly like our nightmare realm fans. it’s the leather outfits, isn’t it?” she says with a slight raise of her brow before leaning over to run her hand over his own shirt near his chest. “playboy was a nice way of putting it. you just look like you ran out of a frat party.” 

he let himself relax more visibly at her own reaction, letting out an exaggerated sigh of relief, his eyes rolling to the ceiling at himself. dramatics were to be expected in return for that joke. “it’s something about the skirts, man.” his shoulders lifted in a shrug, making a face at the thought. when it came to cuter concepts, aegyo went along with them since they relied more on stage presence, but he couldn’t imagine jaein having to do aegyo regularly — it was likely since he knew her in a much different context than on stage, idol jaein, but even still, it struck him as strange. “they make creeps act differently. you’re less intimidating like this. they just can’t get into the chains, i guess. don’t know what’s wrong with them.”

𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: backstage at inkigayo || 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: august 13/30 || 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇: open

      there are just some things sunghee doesn’t understand. he’s taken that not only as a personal thing, as in, things that sunghee, personally, would never be able to get, for various reasons but also as a general affirmation that most people are bound to face this type of situation several times in their lives. sunghee is more than fine with that and it’s been years since the last time the awareness that there are things out of their comprehension had truly bothered them. even then, sunghee spends a fair amount of time thinking about all the rumors of what other idols got up to during promotions. they are neither naive or dumb, far more perceptive than most people would give them credit for, but there’s something about the perceived subtlety in some actions that still fly over their head with no hope of them grasping it. so sunghee has heard the rumors about the inkigayo sandwich but it doesn’t register as so when they are handed one by a junior idol. she’s cute and they write it off as politeness as she goes on her merry way and they go on theirs, but comeback season is a diet time and their daily carb intake is too precious for them to waste a part of it on a sandwich they don’t know if they are going to like. and so, they don’t hesitate to hand it over when they bump into someone they know. “hey, want a sandwich?”

Noah hates promoting in America. He hates having to spend several hours on a plane back and forth, sometimes multiple times a week. He hates having to speak so much English, and deal with people who have no clue how rude they would be if this was Korea. Korea is his home at the end of the day, and he is someone who gets homesick easily. When the next week starts, his schedule is full of overseas recordings and talking. At least it is with the rest of the group, and he only needs to speak if they ask him directly. If not for the fact that he displayed his fluency in English early in his career, he would probably pretend to barely speak a word of it. 

But that is not something he can do, for the world knows it would be a lie. So he does the next best thing - wallow in self pity. Some do that with alcohol, some do that with sex, some do that with food. Noah does it by visiting some overpriced designer store, and then spending an hour or two either roasting everything in sight, or stocking up his already too full wardrobe. Sometimes it is alone, sometimes it is with other people. Today it’s something in between, as he spots a familiar head of hair. A few rapid steps, then he is holding a jacket in front of their face.

“Yes or no?”

though promotions were ongoing, it didn’t feel quite as suffocating to him as usual. it felt like they had less of a leash with this release, less schedules overall, which was really the best case scenario for him. it gave tian a chance to take a break, relax on his own — usually, that meant some form of alcohol, going out when he could, but given that he had a few shows earlier that week, he wasn’t feeling up to it. a close second was spending too much money on t-shirts he could probably get for much cheaper if he tried. it was where he thrived best, these designer stores, as his vibe was as flashy as they came. so, with sunglasses and a bucket hat hiding the majority of his fading blue hair, he browsed aimlessly, looking for the more loud colors. 

sometimes, a few of his more involved friends would tag along, but this trip he was alone, which was perfectly fine by him. the break felt much needed, after how much their company had been expecting of them lately, with the additional filming for the center they were planning to open. it was why he was taken aback by having a jacket pushed in front of him, though he recognized the face of the older man fairly quickly. he stepped back and eyed the jacket critically, a deadpan look mixed with distaste appearing on his face. 

“you can do better than that.” though tian did like flashy, some things were too far. “what’s it for?” 

as much as she hates to admit it, there’s always a part of her that’s itching to see tian. she thinks it’s mostly because of his fuck it all attitude with everything that sort of contracts her hectic life, but she finds herself being able to relax the tiniest bit around his presence. jaein’s pretty sure the amount of times she just bursts into his apartment unannounced boosts his pretty ego if it can even be any higher. 

she scoffs at his comment before scooting over to him. knowing how much he dislikes the whole innocent play, she bats her eyes almost obnoxiously before putting a fake pout on her face. “oppa, don’t i look cute today?” she lifts a hand to poke at her space buns before giving him a quick wink. the act is disgusting to her as well, and so she bursts out into laughter before slouching back onto the couch. “i don’t think i can answer those questions either.” 

she quickly sits back up a bit as she doesn’t want to ruin her hair or outfit but not before letting out a deep groan. “hey, it’s better than the schoolgirl outfits. i think i’d take girl scout troopers over those plaid skirts any day.” though she didn’t mind lucid’s normal realm, the overplay of them being schoolgirls was annoying and seemed to bring in the wrong crowd of fans. “how about you? hawaii party playboys or something?”

jaein was fairly unique, at least for tian. they were friends, somehow, and he felt a little more relaxed around her than he did around many people in their industry. plus, it was a bit fun how someone as smart as she was kept coming to him — interesting, if nothing else, given she also seemed to lack interest in anything more than what they had. it was refreshing, at the least. 

he watched her move closer suspiciously, his expression immediately morphing into one of horror at her cute act. one of his biggest pet peeves was their companies’ habit of making adults act cute to sell a certain, innocent image. especially with jaein, who he knew well was far from it. his lip curled even as she dropped it and turned back into her normal self, leaning back away from her. “please, for the love of god, never do that again.” 

1. r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

tian is absolutely a menace. he has very little regard or respect for other people and their feelings, images, or relationships. there are a few people he is more careful with, though, and this muse is one of those people. they’re his equal or senior in the industry and they are really, very good at what they do, to the point that tian can’t even really make fun of them for it — his future does not lie with idol life or anything it offers, but he can appreciate passion others have for it or for aspects of it. because of the respect he has for this individual, he’s a little more toned down around them, more subdued, as he tries to get on their good side. bonus points if they fucking hate him though truly. 

2. stella / sober. 

cw: toxic/unhealthy relationship ! tian isn’t too familiar with anything in moderation. he’s a fairly heavy drinker and smoker, something this muse probably isn’t, at least not to the same extent. despite that, these two have become unlikely friends, preferably more™ but it can definitely be finagled to be platonic too tbh. it’s not a super healthy dynamic, with tian being a definite negative influence and the two of them (or at least tian) going overboard virtually every time they meet up. essentially, not a super healthy relationship that is centered around substance abuse for at least one party. picking the other up off the floor when they go too far, staying when they really shouldn’t for their own sake.

3. i feel you. 

he didn’t ask for this, but he supposes he should be some kind of grateful that he isn’t being left to rot in the bc basement like has-beens past their prime that’ve come before him. knight aren’t exactly the spry, youthful group of up-and-comers they had been nearly a decade ago. he’s twenty-six years old, pushing thirty the way that he used to tease the older members of the group for. he’s not old, and neither are they, but he’s tired. hyuk is bone-deep tired, ready to retire and wondering what in the fuck inspired them to make another subunit. 

he tries and fails to think about what he and tian have in common other than being rappers. even that’s a connection that he makes loosely, even more loosely than the both of them being “foreigners” - but, in any case, here they were.

he uses his fist to cover a yawn, his body pretzeled into a corner seat in their waiting room as they were prepped and prettied for stage. his hair was already done, his long hair slicked back with a coy piece of hair left out to hang in his face for the illusion of it just happening to be there, it was now just a matter of it being time for them to get dressed properly. he had friends and acquaintances that would be promoting at the same time as the pair of them, but he couldn’t be arsed to seek them out. they knew where to find him just as well as he did them. besides, he had tian. and while his feelings towards other knight members tended towards the verge of apathy, he didn’t really have any complaints about the younger man. he was cute, for one, good looking in a way that was befitting of an idol and that was usually enough for hyuk to spare a modicum of interest. “tian,” he calls out suddenly, catching the younger man’s eye through the vanity mirror, corner of his mouth quirking up in something like a smile. “you look good. you been working out?”

@fmdtian​ 

the subunit was a surprise to tian. he hadn’t seen much promotion outside of the full group in a long while, being a foreign member who wasn’t exactly as public friendly as the company would like him to be. being the youngest in the group after ten years hadn’t really done much else but make him more jaded than the others. recently having turned twenty-four, it wasn’t like he was young exactly, but the others, the older members, at least had an excuse to feel done with being an idol. even still, he couldn’t be that upset with the promotion from the company. it would potentially mean future opportunities on his own, though he hardly hoped that was the case. 

sitting in front of the mirror, he eyed the green and pink chalky streaks they were adding to the faded, barely blue strands with some judgment. this was his least favorite part of performing, the preparation and need to sit still, without much movement or really choice in the matter at all. he’d much rather be off annoying one of the other groups, or really doing anything else than allowing someone to put more makeup on him than he needed and make his hair stiff with product. catching hyuk’s eye, mostly by mistake, he offered a near automatic half smile, his arrogance really only growing since they first debuted. the two weren’t particularly close, no matter what image bc was trying to push, but he was as close with hyuk as he was with any of the other members, having not much interaction with them as trainees and really no idea how to interact with them once they had debuted. 

technically, she really shouldn’t be doing this. it’s a poor example as the leader, but it’s comeback week which means even their staff members are too busy to pay attention to all the members. plus, she has the benefit of the doubt from a lot of her managers and other staff; they expect her to be a good role model, and she’s played into that role well enough that one slip up won’t hurt. or so she likes to believe.

jaein’s not sure what’s gotten into her. maybe it’s because she hasn’t seen tian since the wellness retreat, and it’s not like she needs to see him, but he provides a little bit of fun and laughter during stressful times. stressful times like comeback week where everything is supposed to sail smoothly. that’s how they both end up in an empty room in a hallway she knows isn’t occupied during this hour. there’s still plenty of hours before the live broadcast, and all there’s left to do now is wait. though she’d never admit it out loud, tian’s company was a good distraction. 

“first, don’t laugh at what i’m wearing,” she groans. she has her hair up in a pucca hairstyle, and she’s dressed like she’s part of a girl’s scout. “second, don’t ask why i even asked you here because i don’t know the answer to that question myself.”

@fmdtian​, august 21st, backstage at music bank

knight light’s promotions weren’t anything out of the ordinary, really. it was a fun song, he got to be on stage again, actually feeling useful unlike when knight had less going on, and felt he could still slip off, after so long just walking on eggshells. it wasn’t all the abnormal, and there was so long until the broadcast even started, but he knew it was a little more challenging because they didn’t have the full group this time. 

it had been a while since he had spoken with jaein, or anyone really, while they had a break from their activities, with just minor performances or photoshoots mixed in. it was nice to be able to hang out for a bit, make fun of her some and be relaxed prior to having to turn on the stage persona to be more than. it was a challenge to hide his laughter from whatever dimensions had put her in for their song. it was a decent song, and played much less on the prior school girl concept so it was a bigger success in his book for that, but it was still so innocently styled. knowing jaein, it was a disconnect. 

suwei was grateful for any opportunity she was given. culture complex was a big opportunity for all idols among the three companies chosen. being in dimensions was a opportunity all on its own. but she was glad to see that the company was able to get opportunities like this for its idols. but with lucid’s dual concept she wasn’t so sure about any opportunities in the future. but lucid did have one thing. and that was a squeaky clean image. dimensions made sure of that. but that also meant her actions weren’t as harshly criticized as a member of a group known for their scandals. and she wouldn’t let these scandals affect who she hangs with. fans were going to speculate no matter what. but being on the younger side gives her the advantage of flying under the radar. that and her angelic image. so hanging with older idols didn’t seem wrong to her. dating wasn’t necessarily on her mind and she assumed her fans would know that. “good. or at least i think it was. maybe it’s going terrible and i just don’t know it.”

these sorts of events weren’t tian’s favorite, but he didn’t mind it as much as he normally might. bc had put him in a unit, knight had more activities, they were still being promoted slowly and, though the public would likely never forget about their scandals, it felt like there was progress being made. it made him feel like, maybe, they would let him do more in the future, potentially act again. plus, these sorts of activities made it easier for him to speak with other friends and idols, like the younger girl he saw a ways away. it was more challenging at times with his friends from other companies, especially the girls, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t worth it, just that he had to be careful. with suwei, he felt more confident that it would just be seen as senior taking care of a rookie idol, especially given they were both foreigners, as he made his way over. “how’s the shoot turning out?”