Wind in my Sails

Business. That was what her father had called it. It was just business. Everything they did was in the name of business, but Emerson had no doubt that if this other Captain had succeeded, there wouldn’t have been a rock for him to hide beneath. Roman would have scoured every last inch of the Earth for him. Her death wouldn’t have been in vain. In hindsight, she could see that it had been the ultimate test of her strength, one that she had barely passed. 

Her head moved to the side when Flynn’s fingers brushed the dark locks of her hair aside to expose the expanse of her neck. “The petichae faded as well. I looked like death warmed over,” she said wryly. It was also why she felt relieved that the cinema was dark. Not many people saw the extent of the damage inflicted upon her. It was times like that that made her realize that she was only as strong as someone her size was, even if she had more fight than most. “I’ve been fighting my whole life. I guess my tenacity defies the laws of life and death itself.” 

After days of fighting sleep and crying out her frustrations, all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep. Yet she knew she couldn’t. Every time she slept, even on the couch, she startled awake. Not even a bath with calming oils could unwind the tension in her body. Emerson had grown tired of being alone, no matter how emotionally draining it was to be around most people. All she knew was that with Flynn, it was never draining. The silence was comfortable; they never needed to fill it with mindless chatter. “Will you stay?” The words came out in a small, tentative tone and it occurred to her then that since the night of Ramses’ death, she’d never extended the invitation. Her teeth worried her lower lip, her thumb tucking over her forefinger in a small attempt to crack the knuckle. “I just…think I’m tired of being alone.”

As Emerson explained how her bruisings had faded, Flynn had the urge to kiss them all away in a feeble attempt to reassure her that it was all gone now, yet, it was a move he dared not make. It wasn’t what the moment called for, and much like in the night Ramses had his life taken away from him, he felt as if she only needed someone who would be there with her. Someone who would listen as she talked about the hardships of that day. This was about her and not anything else. Instead, he placed an arm over her shoulders and brought her closer, kissing the side of her head gently.

“You’ve done a lot more than a lot of people would… Give you credit for,” he mentioned, his voice deep still against her temple. Not many would have succeeded in that situation. They were outnumbered, they were caught in a situation they couldn’t initially predict, and they were running far below the capacity of the ship. It seemed like they would lose, that everything was against them. So, tenacity spoke volumes for the group of individuals that were with them on that occasion. They had all fought bravely, and, although they might sport some new scars or the injuries from the battle, at least they were there to tell the story, which was more than what could be said about the opposite crew. “Just… You know… Remember that,” Flynn added.

Will you stay? He heard her and it seemed as if there was hesitation to the words she was saying. Why, he would not know. Maybe it was because he felt it might be bold of her to assume he might actually be going anywhere. Still, the thought of leaving her be in that state hadn’t once crossed his mind. Flynn realized he had probably left her hanging for far longer than he should have had, so, he cleared his throat. “I’m not going anywhere,” he stated, shaking his head a couple of times. “I’ll be here for as long as you’d like,” he added, knowing that he might even end up staying longer than just that.

Eliza nodded her head, taking a tentative step forward. She wanted to give him a hug. He had been in her life regularly like her father. He was the closest thing she had to one on the island. But she didn’t want to push her limits. She was still new to this whole thing. Someone like Flynn was good to have on her side. Not to mention, he had seen her as a kid. “I did miss you,” she said with a smile. “I missed Dad, too. And I knew Mom missed all of you. I did this as much for her as I did for me. I wanted her to be free to come back if she wanted to.”

Flynn continued looking down at the girl, a small smile playing on his lips. Instinctively, as she stepped forward, his first reaction was to take a step back so that she could come inside, thinking it was what she would have wished to do. “What can I say… I’m a missable person,” he said in jest, one of the sides of his lips twisting up in a lopsided little smile. “I can imagine that,” the navigator nodded. “I know what it’s like to be away from family,” he mentioned, thinking about his own mom and the fact that he had not seen her in what he would have considered far too long. “But, hey, you’ve made it!”

“A few days usually,” she said softly. “Once I get settled things will get better. I still feel like I am on the boat, tossing and turning. I need to get used to land again.” She looked at Fynn for a moment before speaking again. “I’ve always been like this. Even back home. If we went to a different house or a place I had been many times, I still couldn’t sleep the first few days. Usually it was only that much if I had my dogs. They were usually the best family I had so it was easy with them. I wish more than anything I could have just one with me here. If they even remember me at this point.” 

Flynn heard most of what the princess had to say, and couldn’t help but think that adaptation was one funny little thing. Normally, he would do fine in a ship, though getting used to the whole inland ordeal wasn’t what he would describe as fun. People like him had this wanderlust that made it practically impossible to be still while they had to be in the same place for too long. He wanted to be out there, to do things. Instead, he got to sit at home and watch paint dry. It was rough. “Nah,” Flynn ended up saying as he shook his head negatively. “I’m sure you’d be… Fine. I hear dogs have this sort of… I don’t know… Great memory, you could say,” he shrugged.

“Maybe if we anchor them in the cargo hold?” Charlotte mused. They’d do marvelously for transporting things from ship to warehouse; it was their function and it was good to know Roman didn’t skimp. “No one enjoys those for anything more than a workout. I think I pulled my shoulder when I first got to the island from having to pull something up to the warehouse. This definitely would have come in handy then. But watch, we’re going to get lazy.”

“Do you think it could work out?” He wondered, his nose scrunching up as he gave it some careful considering. With all honesty, Flynn wasn’t that good when it came down to thinking things through quite like that. “When the Tulach’s first came around, my mom made me volunteer to help out with anything they might have needed… And, let me tell you… If you think this is heavy lifting now… It was a million times worse back then,” he spoke while shaking his head. “But, you’re right… If people are already lazy now, this clearly wouldn’t help.”

“After I killed the guy who almost killed you, I went to find the Captain of Poseidon’s Wrath to finish it,” she said quietly. It all came out in a rush of word vomit. “He was waiting until I was worn down to strike. He was a coward.” The bruises on her neck had long healed, but she gestured to the area nonetheless. “He and I fought and he got his hands around my neck. I dropped the gun and he squeezed until I couldn’t breathe. Then he slammed my head down on the ground and I remember feeling dazed.”

It had come back in flashes before, but it was the first time she recounted it aloud. Her concussion had left her with splotches in her memory. She remembered winning and everything else felt like an out-of-body experience. “I couldn’t move and he had my gun and pointed it at me.” Hot tears pricked her eyes again and her voice wavered again. “I couldn’t move and he pulled the trigger and it clicked. I think the safety was on or he didn’t cock it right. I caught a second wind or an adrenaline rush.” 

It had been then that she had fought back viciously and won. “He went for the gun again and emptied the clip. I grabbed the gun, he called me a stupid bitch, and I killed him.” 

Silently, Flynn heard what she had to say, listening to the details of the story he didn’t possess because he, along with other members of their improvised crew, had stayed behind. Nodding, the navigator agreed with her statement, and he couldn’t help the way his fingers twitched in residual anger towards what she had been forced to handle on her own. She should not have been alone for it, and there was something that traveled up his stomach that made him feel as if he had, somehow, failed her then. Running his fingers through her hair, he moved it away from her neck, as if he could still find a vestige of those bruises. As if he could still visualize the moment in which that filthy man’s hands were there.

Flynn saw the tears that her tears had made a return, tepid and clear against her face. With a thumb, he brushed the ones he could reach away. “You’re one tough cookie, Emerson Tulach,” he whispered into her temple, basically because he couldn’t find something better or more meaningful to say, he just wished to hold her there to convince - perhaps himself more than her - that everything was okay. He had already lost someone dear to him recently. He wasn’t ready to lose another.

“You did the right thing,” Flynn reassured, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze.

Never in her life had Emerson felt so powerless. Her mind rebelled against her, the same mind that had carefully calculated every move she had made. It was why she allowed Flynn to lead her, to absorb her stress, to quite literally hold her while she cried. It was also why she let him tuck her against his chest again. 

“I did what had to be done,” she replied. No one but Cyd knew just how close she’d come to death that day. The people who died were simply casualties of war. It was the day Emerson had been forced to make decisions on the spot that impacted the lives of everyone involved in her father’s plan. “Flynn, you don’t know how close I came to dying out there.” 

It was the first time she made herself talk about it. The words tasted harsh and bitter on her tongue and she shook her head. “I can’t sleep because I keep hearing the trigger click.” 

He nodded, understanding what she meant to say with those words. There was often little time for any of them to consider the ramifications of their actions in the heat of the moment. However, it didn’t mean they were the sort of people who lacked a conscience to be able to tell what was right from what was wrong. It seemed to be part of what was afflicting Emerson right now.

How close I came to dying out there. The statement rang in his ears and Flynn felt as if the blood was running cold inside his veins. He didn’t know why this was something that had such an effect on him, but, he didn’t wish to think of the possibility of her not being there, of something happening to her.

Instinctively, his arms wrapped around her a little bit tighter. “What happened to you out there, Emmy?” He found himself wondering, not entirely sure whether the question was something rhetorical or he was actually expecting to hear an answer.

Mina shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t know if it was his thing or not. It could have meant nothing for him to be up this early. But that was neither here nor there. “I never sleep well when somewhere new. At least for a few days.” She stayed where she was standing, not wanting to impose on Flynn if she didn’t have to. “I’m lucky I managed to get a few hours. Even with as tired as I am, I’ll only be able to sleep a few hours. It was the same way on the other island.” It was different now. But she wasn’t going to say that. “I figured I might as well try and figure this place out.”

Flynn nodded. He wasn’t naturally someone who had problems sleeping, especially not now that he didn’t have to make a bed out of the couch anymore. Still, not even he could say that his nights had been uneventful. He had a lot going on inside his head, which sometimes had him staring a the ceiling for quite a while, though, all in all, he could still sleep pretty well. “That must suck,” he stated, not sure what else he might be able to say about it. “How long does it usually… You know… Last?” he wondered, merely making conversation there before taking another piece of bread from his improvised basket and spreading some butter in it.

Eliza couldn’t help but give Flynn a small smile. She knew some people in her life wouldn’t be happy. She knew that. But she just hopped that Flynn could understand. “I’m….I’m a surgeon now.” She shrugged her shoulders, looking down at her feet. “I heard what was going on…things do need to change. We all know that. And I knew Mom wanted to come back and I missed Dad and….” She trailed off, finally looking at him. “So here I am.”

I’m a surgeon now, he heard her say, and thought those really were nothing like the ominous words he was expecting to hear, so, that came to him with some relief, and he let out a breath he wasn’t even aware he’d been holding. “I believe… Congratulations are in order…?” he stated, his tone rising at the end making it ring like a question. He had never known what to do in times like that. Nodding a couple of times, Flynn supposed he could understand the feeling. “Come now, Eliza, you can just say that you missed me,” he teased the younger woman and ended up chuckling.

“I wonder if we could get these UTVs back to the other island if we ever return,” Charlotte remarked as she put it into park. They were a lovely work perk and hauled a lot more than just team-lifting something to the villas. “I absolutely love these things. They’re so handy.” 

“I don’t think they would be that easy to, you know, transport,” Flynn glanced at her before shaking his head from side to side. “But it certainly beats the times I had to, you know, use a wheel barrel to take things from the shore to the warehouse or… You know, vice versa,” he said with a shrug. “Who knows… Maybe while we… Stay here we can convince people of their… Importance. Please!”

It took Emerson a full minute to comprehend what he was doing when he drew back from her. Was he leaving her? She had known that this sort of thing wasn’t them, but she hadn’t thought he would actually leave her like this. When he led her towards the couch, his motives became clear and she numbly followed him. 

Perhaps it was the lack of sleep that set in and had her obediently moving after him. Maybe she had finally lost all will to fight him. It wasn’t lost on Emerson that out of everything Flynn could possibly do with his time, it was spent with her. 

Sniffling, she swiped at the tears from her face until she hopefully looked less like death warmed over. “I think the shock’s worn off finally,” she commented, a dry, mirthless chuckle escaping her. “It’s all taken a bigger toll on me than I realized.”

As Emerson attempted to rid herself from any trace of the emotions she had just been spilling, it was not lost on him how this moment might also represent a fork on the road for the two of them. And he was aware that there was simply no way Emerson could return to just being his friends’ little sister anymore.

Tucking some tendrils of her hair behind her ear, Flynn took his time, his eyes gazing right into her bright ones. “There’s no shame in that,” he said with a shake of his head, and a hand moved around her, bringing her closer.

“It is… It’s somehow better to know that you’re not able to completely dissociate from it, Emmy,” Flynn sighed heavily. “We’re talking about human lives here. They matter,” he nodded a few times. They could have easily been the ones who had ended up perishing that day at the sea, but they hadn’t been. It didn’t mean Flynn could forget the lives that were lost there. Maybe they were strangers to them, but, it didn’t mean they didn’t have people who cared about them somewhere. “And you… You’re only human.”