Flowing death. Stagnant Life.

Purification: Burning all your dead wood in a funeral pyre. The kindling are idle pleasures; the DÆMONS hiding in your midst. They must be EXŒRCISED. . A bit dramatic I know, and I'm certainly not anti-fun, but too much fun leads to dysfunction. I'm re-teaching myself adherence and focus so that the fun has meaning. It's also 1:30am and I've been at the gym for ages... (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTr8R1ePxAr/?utm_medium=tumblr

Cut prep Day 1. Getting myself back into brutal consistency. No booze, no junk food. 83kg SAWFT. Aiming for 78kg maintenance weight; meditation and 7000 steps a day and 5 workouts a week all before hitting the actual cut in 6 weeks-ish. . What are your current health goals? Do you have any? (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CThQaNaJZEN/?utm_medium=tumblr

Friday night in da club. Fluffy like a 🧸 and pixelated like the games I play. To quote @briancage (cos who beddah!?) GMSI and mentally planning for the upcoming cut I'll be starting in 2 months. . Sorry I've been so quiet. I promise I have designs coming, I've just been so distracted by making music lately! (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSy-tCOpvkW/?utm_medium=tumblr

No need to feel embarrassed today! Looking tip top in my 'Cycle of Cthulhu' tank top! 🤘💀🤘 . There are still some more of these available, for anyone interested. Super soft and breathable - perfect for a hard gym session (like today...😰) . #fitgoth #sportsgoth #activegoth #gymbat #metal #metalhead (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNEmHGBDEEf/?igshid=6o1xnn9jtfm1

Still here. Still hard. Just fluffier. Every day facing my darkness. Not always winning, but always trying. . theabyssfitness.com . #fitgoth #sportgoth #gymgoth #gymbat #goth #metalhead #metal (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CM09mSfDnCh/?igshid=j6j67rqrh87n

I've lost so much weight that my own tank tops don't fit anymore! I'll have to buy a couple of new ones! 👻 . Do you plan to stay accountable and on target throughout Christmas? I'm not sure, myself. Do you have any tips? . It's definitely a hard time of year to keep yourself accountable. Counting macros and avoiding alcohol right now doesn't feasible for most people - If you're not the one preparing the feast, at least! (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJIvIs9DfxT/?igshid=4rlrolkgfdqe

Sometimes it's hard to admit what you know in your heart is true. And it's so easy to believe your own bullshit narrative. I know I have a few of these internal narratives floating about in my head right now that I'm not game to touch. At least not yet. . But it's important to be totally honest with yourself. You can usually tell when you're chasing rainbows instead of facing cold reality or the fearsome unknown. . This is where setting short term goals comes in. If you set yourself a task that's 'real' enough to be daunting, a little scary even, yet small enough to be actionable, then it's possible to get started. The results you get from adhering to that task will evolve your mindset and you'll be able too decide how to act next. Do you expand on your success, or change direction? Whatever you do, don't stop. . #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #gothgoth #fitgoth #sportgoth #activegoth #gothfashion #gothmodel #metal #metalhead #fitness #fitstagram (at Multi Level Fitness) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIh4seqDG2U/?igshid=1lnfgowji7zmc

Long term goals don't work. They're like pie-in-the-sky dreams. There are so many easy day-to-day excuses and distractions that they're impossible to reach. Short term goals are perfect though. It's hard to excuse yourself when your only need to do so much. And every time you're almost done, just set another one! Oh and find ways to reward yourself that don't break the goal. . Example: I've been drinking /heavily/ once or twice a week for a long time, and couldn't seem to break the cycle. My trainer and I decided to set a short term goal. We've kind of don't this before. An 8 week challenge was started and somehow I was instantly able to break the habit and I've been determined ever since. I've had cravings, both for alcohol and all kinds of foods from time to time but I've managed to stay the course, and seeing the results as they come has been more and more motivating every week. . #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #gothgoth #fitgoth #sportgoth #activegoth #gothfashion #gothmodel #metal #metalhead #fitness #fitstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CIclNjQDF_H/?igshid=ebd28tif6jbg

I've often quoted Friedrich Nietzsche on staring into the abyss, and his philosophy plays a big part in my world view and approach to problems. However I am a binge drinker and I'm very easily convinced of my own bullshit. This last 6 weeks I've been alcohol free (for an 8 week challenge) and in that time, I've dropped 6kg, have hit PRs in all 3 of the big lifts, and I'm feeling incredible! There's really something to be said for taking a big fucking dose of reality and sucking it up. The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, slap yourself and find a way to make it happen. You'll respect yourself so much more for it. #theabyssfitness #theabyss #freidrichnietzsche #goth #gothmodel #gothicworkout #metalhead (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIaIQwlDtzf/?igshid=1w0q1x1ql8ugf

On my last set I put the weight up past my previous max. It felt good. I threw caution to the wind and put it up again for an extra set. I bailed it again. Winning! . @insideoutwellnessco maybe my eccentrics were a little quick, either way. Winning. . #inclinepress #pr #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #fitgoth #sportgoth #activegoth #gymbat #gothfashion #gothicfashion #metal #metalhead #activewear #fitness #fitstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CFv0kP8jeNj/?igshid=16rz69pkgoofv

Deadlifts. So goth! ⚰️ Did you work out today? What did you do? . #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #gothgoth #fitgoth #sportgoth #activegoth #gothfashion #gothmodel #metal #metalhead #apparelbrand #activewear #apparel #appareldesign #fitness #fitstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CFqvk3oDuRI/?igshid=xx2nj37za3ng

I'm feeling this look right now. Muddy be the new vest... 👻 Do you have any cool new clothes? Tell me about them! . #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #gothgoth #gothfashion #gothicfashion #gothmodel #metal #metalhead https://www.instagram.com/p/CFooHtxDySA/?igshid=e7ezh20tee9k

👻 Happy leg day, world! 👻(Well it's leg day for me, and that's a happy day anyway). Does loving leg day make me crazy!? Yes or no? ⚰️ . #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #gothgoth #fitgoth #sportgoth #activegoth #gothfashion #gothmodel #metal #metalhead #apparelbrand #activewear #apparel #appareldesign #fitness #fitstagram (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFl1x_JDj8l/?igshid=5hgbfypy5e2z

👻 Happy leg day, world! 👻(Well it's leg day for me, and that's a happy day anyway). Does loving leg day make me crazy!? Yes or no? ⚰️ . #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #gothgoth #fitgoth #sportgoth #activegoth #gothfashion #gothmodel #metal #metalhead #apparelbrand #activewear #apparel #appareldesign #fitness #fitstagram (at Zap Fitness New Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFl1x_JDj8l/?igshid=5hgbfypy5e2z

What are your reading lately? Gotta keep our minds fit too, right? ☠️ I don't read much fiction lately but I've just started reading this cute little gem that my sister @dishlexia got me. It actually kicks off with 'The Raven' right off the bat! ⚰️ And there's an excerpt from The Castle of Otranto in the too which is exciting!🦹 https://www.instagram.com/p/CFf390XjYwl/?igshid=bzx0d4kx413p

It's a teeny tiny weight but it's progress! How are you all progressing? Well, I hope! Let me know! . #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #gothgoth #fitgoth #sportgoth #activegoth #gothfashion #gothmodel #metal #metalhead #apparelbrand #activewear #apparel #appareldesign #fitness #fitstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CEDwZNvjMaT/?igshid=1u95pseuwvfs8

Today was actually child enough (and early enough...) to require a hoodie during workout! Doesn't happen often folks! . #theabyss #theabyssfitness #goth #gothgoth #fitgoth #sportgoth #activegoth #gymbat #gothfashion #gothicfashion #gothmodel #metal #metalhead #activewear #fitness #fitstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CDuvtDpjVUe/?igshid=1sskt2p7dwcj0