"Blights are expected to behave properly. 

This is common knowledge. Blights are nobility and are supposed to behave accordingly. As such, you aren't supposed to lose your composure. 

This is rule one. You don't stumble over yourself, you don't burst into tears, and you're certainly not supposed to be impulsive or ridiculous. 

Amity Blight isn't very good at being a Blight. But she tried very hard for a very long time. She carries herself in the perfect little posture that feels like it'll break her back, is either stone faced or grinning smugly, a perfect golden child. She does not cry. She does not whimper. She expresses affection through very, very specific means. All of them are incredibly professional and fitting of a Blight. 

Offering a gift to a friend. A book, a new piece of jewelry, a pie. 

A compliment, professional and impersonal.

Reassurance when it's needed. 

A small touch on the shoulder. Nothing beyond what is socially acceptable, of course. Because she is a Blight, even behind closed doors. And Blights do not lose their composure. 

Amity loses her composure three times before she actually tries to be a good person. Over a badge, a duel, and Luz visiting her in the library. All of these were around a failure. Which wasn't something a Blight was allowed to be. 

She didn't lose her composure when she apologized to Willow. But it was close. Two steps from the edge, the ledge crumbling. Only a thin cloak remained, tattered and worn. So close to disintegrating that she'd expected to be struck and to be left to bleed. 

Somehow, she wasn't. 

The sports game with Luz had been the first time in a very long time anyone had held her. 

She didn't think she'd wanted to be held. 

And to be completely honest, it was incredibly embarrassing. 

Blights weren't supposed to lose their composure. They weren't supposed to turn bright red at the thought of a cool girl being on their team, they weren't supposed to bare their soul to someone that wasn't in the family, they weren't supposed to be held and carried back to the house of a wanted criminal. 

But, absurdly, she was happy. She was so, so happy. 

She'd known her mother was a bad person for a very, very long time. She still cared for her, but she wasn't under any impression she was good. But Amity had never really thought she could get out. She'd never thought she could be happy after that birthday party. And not once had she ever considered trying. 

Luz's arms were warm and she was such a dork and felt the need to be a stupid goof about everything and she thinks she wants to kiss this girl. 

But Amity is still a Blight to the public, and she can't afford to risk it. So she doesn't initiate. 

A homemade fairy pie seemed like a nice, professional way to tell her she was happy she was back. 

On the day she made a pie, she'd also broken her necklace. 

She'd wanted to break the stupid thing for years. 

(Somehow being side by side in a crumbling crater with Luz, after almost being crushed, felt safer than she'd ever felt in the manor.)

She'd meant for it to stay there. Kind words. Shoulder touches. Gifts. That's all. Luz got the message with just those. There was no need for more. 

Until she kissed her on the cheek, not because it was profesional or necessary, but because she'd wanted to for so long. 

And then Luz wanted to date her too, and then they held hands, and she's realizing she likes it. 

She likes when she holds her hand, she likes hugging her, she likes kissing her on the cheek. She likes not being professional, she likes not having to stick to gifts. She likes just being able to hold her when words won't work. Gestures still remain. She still gets her gifts and says kind things because those never stopped being how she expresses her love. 

But she likes being held. She likes kissing her. She likes not acting like Luz is her business partner. It's…nice. 

It's nice when they hold each other tightly. It's nice when she just leans against her. A voice in her head that sounds far too much like that coward of a bully reminds her it's unnecessary. She's trying so hard not to listen. It's a little easier not to listen when she has people who remind her that it doesn't have to be necessary. They tell her she can do things because she can, not because she has to. She's trying so hard to listen. Slowly, it's becoming a little easier. 

And years later, they kiss without blushing. They hold each other and it's normal. It isn't a surprise. It isn't confusing or new or stiff. It's natural. She worries about it some days, because she can't help it. The need to carry herself perfectly has been ingrained in her mind since she was old enough to know what the word meant. 

Sometimes, though, she can remember she's allowed to be soft. Softness is difficult and its a choice, but it's a choice she's learning how to make. Sometimes becomes more often, somehow. They tell her to be proud of herself. She's trying to be, and it's almost working. 

She holds Luz, because that's how Amity expresses her love. Amity is no longer a Blight, and she's no longer expected to be professional. She expresses her love through gifts and compliments and gestures as well, but mostly through touch. Because she wants to. It's unnecessary and it's comforting and it's nice and she's gotten good at not caring who sees them. 

Amity holds her girlfriend, listens to her heartbeat, and somehow she feels safe. 

She's a lot happier as "Amity" than she ever was as "Amity Blight." Amity Blight was, deep down, always afraid. But Amity wasn't. She wasn't okay all the time, but sometimes she was. Sometimes was becoming more often. And maybe that was enough.

So she leans into her arms, and she lets herself cry. Because she knows Luz, and she knows she won't be mad. No matter what her mothers says, Luz is not her. And Luz doesn't get mad at her when she breaks. 

There's a scared girl in Amity's head. There will always be a scared girl in her head. 

But she isn't scared of that girl anymore. And she's not scared of Luz. She's not scared of Willow, she's not scared of Gus, she's not scared of Hunter, and she's not scared of Ghost. 

There's a scared girl in Amity's head, and she gives that girl a hug. That scared girl is allowed to be hugged, allowed to shatter and weep, because composure isn't everything. Not anymore, and it never should've been. It wasn't fair, and she was allowed to walk away from it.

Blights were supposed to be perfect. Blights were never allowed to lose their composure. Blights were expected to behave properly. 

Amity hasn't been a Blight in four years. 

So she holds her and doesn't let go, because Amity is free, and she wants to be held. 

And that's a good enough reason. 

Luz is safe, and Amity is too. And it's enough."

I'm so thankful to Dana Terrace for Amity's arc. Watching her development gave me the hope that it's ok to come out and be nice to yourself and not hide everything in order to remain little miss perfect.

She definitely outranks him by my book. She fought an entire war and then led a rebellion while Luke was just sitting at home and playing with droids.