i am thou, thou art i

“Of course. Just stay here, I’ll get you something warm to drink.”

They wrapped a blanket around him, and went into the kitchen to boil up some milk for cocoa.

(Y/N) switched the radio off, their visitor’s alarming arrival having ruined the previous cheer of the evening. It was unfortunate, but also they were semi-thankful to have some company on what was going to be a solitary evening.

They brought their attention back to the cocoa they were making, and took the mug back into the living room for their guest.

He wasn’t on the sofa however. He’d shrugged off his shirt, as it sat on the sofa making a small damp patch. He instead stood looking at the pictures on the wall, wrapped solely in the blanket.

“Hey, I made you some cocoa.” (Y/N) called to him, snapping him out of his stupor.

“Oh, thank you.” He smiled. “Sorry, my shirt was way too wet and it was making me cold. I hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s okay.” They smiled in response. “Drink your cocoa and then you can use my landline.”

He looked slightly cautious as he picked up the mug and blew on it to cool it down. They noticed his apprehension.

“I haven’t put anything funny in it, if that’s what you’re scared about. Not everyone living in cabins away from society is a serial killer.”

He let out a slight laugh of relief and mirth, bringing it to his lips and sighing in relief as the liquid warmed his hands and stomach.

“I’m (Y/N), by the way.”

“I’m Jungkook. Thank you for your help.”

There was silence as Jungkook gingerly sipped his cocoa and (Y/N) tried to find something to say.

“I’ll go get my phone.” They finally said, standing up to find the device charging in their office and bringing it back to him. With a nod of thanks, he started to dial the number and held it up to his ear, but after a few seconds he frowned.

“No signal.”

He tried again, many different numbers but all with no answer, as (Y/N) stood at the sidelines biting the inside of their cheek.

“It’s no good. I think the weather has wrecked the signal. Do you have WiFi?” Jungkook sighed.

“I’m in the process of switching companies, so unfortunately I’ve been going without.” (Y/N) replied, shifting slightly. “I’m really sorry, I wish I could be more helpful.”

He stood up, ready to grab his things and see if he could make his own way home only to catch sight of the snow flurry outside.

“There’s no way you could survive that.” (Y/N) joined his side, frowning. “It’s probably best that you bunker down here for the night.”

He thanked her and, following a bowl of warm stew for supper, fell asleep on the couch. (Y/N) draped a blanket over him before leaving for their own room.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

The snow did not let up. The next morning, it was practically still dark outside and the dangerous weather brought a heavy feeling upon Jungkook.

“Looks like a white christmas.” (Y/N) commented, offering him a lopsided grin.

“I hope you don’t mind if I stay here a bit longer…” Jungkook stuttered out. (Y/N) placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

“Of course not. I couldn’t throw you out on a day like this.” They turned on their heel. “Will you help me make lunch?”

With some festive tunes and a roaring fire, it was quite pleasant standing beside (Y/N) and helping them prepare the roast dinner. Jungkook struggled to keep his hands steady, not quite used to preparing meat when most of his meals were microwaved, but (Y/N) was there with their warm, soft hands to guide him.

And when they finally sat down to eat, his eyebrows shot up in surprise at the magnificent taste.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had a proper meal. Like this.” He confessed quietly, eyes focused on the plate rather than (Y/N)’s bemused gaze.

“Really? It’s worth the time.” They replied. “Try it, and who knows? You could be the next Gordon Ramsey.”

They shared a chuckle as they ate, but something else was eating at Jungkook. There was something here he’d never experienced before, a warmth that was previously foreign.

It was when (Y/N) brushed past him to get an extra bottle of wine from the cupboard and he felt a spark just from their touch that Jungkook diagnosed himself.

‘I’m in love.’

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

The days shared together whilst the storm raged on were sweet. Reading books (Y/N) had collected over the years, doing puzzles and discussing their lives. Jungkook couldn’t think of a better use of the time in his life than spending every second with (Y/N). It haunted him every night as he lay on the couch, dreaming of their future together despite the stinging finity of it.

One night, as they sat together doing crosswords, there was a flick of the lights. They would be happy to just dismiss it, if not for the subsequent blackout.

“Shit.” (Y/N) muttered. “Where are the candles?”

Jungkook simply turned on his phone and used the light to shine around the room, granting (Y/N) a path to their new source of light.

“Thank you.” They called out as they lit a match and illuminated the room once again with a limited glow, letting Jungkook tuck his phone back into his pocket as they went to investigate their generator, only to groan aloud when they realised it was going to take ages to boot up again.

After a half hearted argument from Jungkook he’d earned a place in their bed, instead of his usual couch, to keep warm.

As they settled down to sleep, (Y/N) quite clearly put a fair bit of distance between them. Cute. But nevertheless (Y/N) slept facing inwards, meaning Jungkook could fall asleep seeing their beautiful face. And did he enjoy that. the fluttering of their eyelids, creasing of their brows, the sleepy murmurs. It was a surprise that he got any sleep at all, when every instinct wanted to savour the moment forever.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

Sunlight provided a natural alarm, calling for the two to wake up but Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to depart from the comfort of (Y/N)’s embrace. Subconsciously, or maybe even consciously, they’d wrapped their arms around him to keep warm. He revelled in hearing their heartbeat, their soft sleepy breaths.

When Jungkook finally drew away from the ethereal being beside him, his heart dropped when he looked out the window. The sun was shining brightly, the storm having evidently ended at some point in the night leaving behind heaps of snow but a clear sky. This was it. The day he’d been dreading.

How would (Y/N) feel to see him go? Would they be as torn as him, knowing that his life belongs in the city but his heart belongs with them?

Jungkook finally decided that he would go about life as “usual”. Maybe (Y/N) won’t bring it up, and they won’t ruin the domestic fantasy that had been so perfectly brewing. In fact, just to sweeten things he decided to make them breakfast in bed. As much as it chilled him to do so, he unwrapped (Y/N)’s arm from around him and stood up with a stretch.

They were running low on fresh food, with 4 days of being locked away from society. But luckily there was still eggs, and bread. Jungkook set to work, enjoying the little luxury he never enjoyed in the city to cook breakfast. Normally in the morning he could only have a coffee or protein shake before leaving the house, but in this perfect little world with (Y/N) such time restraints didn’t exist.

Just as he was plating up the food, he heard the sound of a car engine outside. Oh god, who was it? Had someone somehow gotten his SOS? How would he tell them to fuck off and leave him in peace.

Rather, he heard the person emerge from the car, stomp up the driveway and insert some keys into the door. The entrance swung open, and he was frozen to the spot as he saw another man enter and stomp his feet on the doormat to remove the snow.

This stranger looked up to lock eyes with Jungkook.

“Who are you?”

“Who are you?” Jungkook echoed back.

“The boyfriend of (Y/N), who owns this cabin.”

“My car broke down in the storm a few days ago, so (Y/N) offered me shelter until I could call someone for help.” Jungkook felt his grip around the knife tighten, his knuckles becoming pale with the pressure he was exerting.

“I see. Let me go and see my partner and then we’ll see if I can do something to help.” The stranger’s smile would be heartwarming, but Jungkook felt like his blood had been replaced with lava.

The vermin pushed his way past Jungkook into the bedroom, and Jungkook felt his stomach turn as he heard the sleepy mumbles from (Y/N) and then some not so quiet kissing sounds.

The eggs were starting to grow cold on the plates as Jungkook processed the situation. (Y/N) had never mentioned a boyfriend. All this time they’d ripened him up, made him fall for them only to tear his heart to shreds?

No, no. (Y/N) was far too kind to do such a thing. Clearly there were other forces at play making him hurt. Whatever the reason, this ‘boyfriend’ was bad news.

He looked down to see the knife still gripped tightly in his hand. At least he had one option.

He picked up the plates and poured a cup of fresh coffee before making his way into the bedroom. (Y/N) was sitting up in bed, but the new guy was at their side like a leech.

“I made breakfast.” Jungkook spoke up, placing the plate in front of them gingerly and holding out the mug for them to take.

“Thank you.” They blew on the coffee to cool it down before taking a sip. “Yoongi has agreed to take a lot at your car and see what he can do. If he can’t fix it, he’ll give you a lift back into the city and we can work from there.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

“I’ll go get my toolkit. Do you think you’d be able find your way back to the car?” Finally (Y/N)’s boyfriend detached himself from their side and stood up, meeting Jungkook’s eyes.

“Yeah, probably.” He stuttered.

As Yoongi went to find his tools, (Y/N) finally returned their attention back to Jungkook.

“I’m really going to miss your company. Maybe your car breaking down was a blessing in disguise?” They smiled, and Jungkook felt his cheeks grow red.

“Thank you.”

“And you’ve got my number, right? Anytime you feel like it, feel free to drop me a text message and you’d be welcome to stay for a night if you need some escape from the city.” Jungkook nodded dumbly, not able to form the words to say that he never wanted to return home, he wanted to stay with them forever and he’d give up anything for them.

“Alright buddy, you ready?” Yoongi had returned. Jungkook narrowed his eyes at the patronising language but nodded.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

The snow crunching with every step was the only sound as they traipsed through the woods to find Jungkook’s car. He wasn’t ready to give up his happiness, but how could he assert himself to (Y/N)’s boyfriend?

“I bet you’ll be glad to get home.” Yoongi spoke up. “I can’t imagine what it’s like living out here full time like (Y/N) does.”

Jungkook just gave a grunt of non-discretion.

“Is that your car?” He pointed to a large object in the distant road, covered in snow but vaguely car-shaped.

“I guess.” Jungkook replied simply.

Once they were at the car, Yoongi started wiping the snow from the bonnet and opening it up to look at the engine.

Jungkook just watched as Yoongi peeked around.

“Just looks like a fuse has gone. I have some backups in my kit.” (Y/N)’s boyfriend dug around in the toolbox until he found a small plastic container, before setting to work.

Jungkook felt a horrible feeling in his stomach. As soon as this was done, he’d be sent on his way. This vermin would be the one to hold (Y/N) close, to enjoy their meals and company, to admire their smile. Jungkook could not stand that thought.

He bent done, to observe what Yoongi was doing. But simultaneously, his fingers snagged a wrench from the toolkit.

“That should be all-” Yoongi was cut out by a harsh shove, pushing him over onto the ground. He caught himself with his hands, and turned to sit up and ask what had happened. He was met with the sight of Jungkoom standing above him, wielding the wrench before bringing it down onto his head.

The man let out a cry of pain as it collided, but Jungkook was not deterred. He brought it down, again and again until blood spattered everywhere and Yoongi’s face was an unrecognisable mess. He finally stopped, and dropped the wrench with shock of what he’d done. Seeing the gruesome sight was enough to make him puke, and when he was done doing so he still couldn’t help the streams of tears running down his face, mixing with the blood. What had driven him to such a drastic measure? How fucked up had he become, so isolated from society that he was capable of bashing someone’s brains in?

He managed to get to his feet, and his instincts were screaming at him to run. Back to the comfort of (Y/N)’s arms, if they would even accept someone as messed up as him.

As he trudged back through the woods, thoughts of what he could say rushed through his head. Would he tell them upfront that he killed their boyfriend? Would he blame some traffic, an attack from a wild animal, maybe even another person?

He hadn’t decided on a plan when he returned to the cabin, and rather than formulate one Jungkook just banged on the door in desperation. He needed to be with them, he needed (Y/N) to comfort him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

(Y/N) answered the door still dressed in their nightclothes, and when they saw Jungkook’s blood and puke splattered clothes they instantly ushered him in again.

“What happened, are you okay?”

Jungkook opened his mouth but no words could come out, just heavy breathes.

“Were you attacked? Where’s Yoongi?” (Y/N) continued, but Jungkook could only sob at their boyfriend’s name, leading (Y/N) to make some deductions.

“Oh Jungkook. Come on, we need to get you changed.” (Y/N) sighed, trying not to let their bad feeling regarding their boyfriend’s fate overcome them.