Angel On A Satellite

I went so far off the deep end when my mother died. She was an emotionally abusive narcissist and I’d love to say I found peace when she died as fucked as that sounds but in reality I fucked up everything in my life for another narcissist.

Id love to say I found peace when that relationship crumbled but in reality I just found a shadow of my former self staring back at me in the mirror. I left healthy relationship for abuse because I didn’t know what to do without it.

I lost my entire identity twice for another person. I wasn’t even strong enough to leave. I don’t think I’ll ever not crave or think I deserve abuse.

I’m back in therapy, back on my meds, back in the gym, and back to identifying as pansexual. I’m back to feeling like gender is not black/white. Im coming back to myself and it feels so goddamn lonely.

Cozy fantasy

Books in general

True crime

Autism

Travel

Gnostic Christianity/Mysticism

Asexuality/Lesbianism

Feminism

Philosophy