Name: A(ly)ssa

““I didn’t mean to and I had drank a bit. I swear it’s the distance. You- you were so far away,” He stumbled desperately, “what was I supposed to-,” “Love me,” she whispered, the tears running down her cheeks, “All you had to do was love me.””

“It wasn’t a matter of falling out of love…she just loved who she was without him more than she loved him.”

“People fear someone falling out of love with them, but no one usually questions what it’s like to be the one falling out. They can’t picture feeling that something must be horribly wrong with you because there’s no other plausible explanation for why your heart doesn’t flutter when you look at him like it used to. It was the position I never thought I would find myself in, yet here I was, looking at the man I supposedly loved and not feeling a thing. If there was anything there, it was negative. Annoyance, anger, sadness, the complete opposite of everything he used to make me feel. It wasn’t right to let him believe things were okay, so I told him. Watching his facial expression drift from a quiet seriousness into a brokenness I never thought I would cause, I wished I didn’t mean the words I said but I knew I did. I couldn’t keep running away, after all, where could I go when the person that used to feel like home no longer did?”

“I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate that you were my best friend I hate that you believed the lies I hate that you abandoned me I hate that I trusted you I hate that I forgive you I hate that I miss you I hate that I love you I love you I love you I love you”

“Out of everything I’ve experienced, pain of abandonment hurts the worst. Knowing that a person I loved, protected, needed and embraced never saw anything of value in me breaks me like nothing else does.”

Me playing Skyrim