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@fleurishingly
somewhere a fake ID is printed by a.dp

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Peanut Butter
by Eileen Myles
I am always hungry & wanting to have sex. This is a fact. If you get right down to it the new unprocessed peanut butter is no damn good & you should buy it in a jar as always in the largest supermarket you know. And I am an enemy of change, as you know. All the things I embrace as new are in fact old things, re-released: swimming, the sensation of being dirty in body and mind summer as a time to do nothing and make no money. Prayer as a last re- sort. Pleasure as a means, and then a means again with no ends in sight. I am absolutely in opposition to all kinds of goals. I have no desire to know where this, anything is getting me. When the water boils I get a cup of tea. Accidentally I read all the works of Proust. It was summer I was there so was he. I write because I would like to be used for years after my death. Not only my body will be compost but the thoughts I left during my life. During my life I was a woman with hazel eyes. Out the window is a crooked silo. Parts of your body I think of as stripes which I have learned to love along. We swim naked in ponds & I write be- hind your back. My thoughts about you are not exactly forbidden, but exalted because they are useless, not intended to get you because I have you & you love me. It’s more like a playground where I play with my reflection of you until you come back and into the real you I get to sink my teeth. With you I know how to relax. & so I work behind your back. Which is lovely. Nature is out of control you tell me & that’s what’s so good about it. I’m immoderately in love with you, knocked out by all your new white hair why shouldn’t something I have always known be the very best there is. I love you from my childhood, starting back there when one day was just like the rest, random growth and breezes, constant love, a sand- wich in the middle of day, a tiny step in the vastly conventional path of the Sun. I squint. I wink. I take the ride.
“The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”
— Animal Dreams, Barbara Kingsolver (b. 8 April 1955)
“I typically arrive three years too late. I wish I had been able to sit in that white, aromatic kitchen and look you in the face but I was not ready. I was still on my way.”
— Mikko Harvey, from “Wind-Related Ripple in the Wheatfield,” Sixth Finch (Spring 2021)
“To achieve excellence, a counterintuitive notion you have is: most people seek to avoid pain and discomfort. After you achieve some mastery, you learn to ignore the pain. You must seek it out and embrace it. Most people avoid the stretch points in life, so they’re mediocre. But it gives us opportunity if we live at our stretch point, there will be pain. Pain can be physical pain or mental resistance. We can change our relationship to discomfort so we hunger for the growth edge rather than hide from it. What if we love the risk, love our stretch point? Wouldn’t it be liberating to, in that moment of pain, to realize that it will lead to great insight? And going into it, put our hearts on the line but know that if it doesn’t work out, we will learn. People often take that and go too far, saying it doesn’t matter win/lose, and they don’t fully engage. You have to fully engage. But also have an understanding that disappointments provide the greatest insights. When we lay our hearts on the line, we feel pain most people don’t feel because they’re not all in. And when you’re all in, it opens deep reservoirs of the human experience.”
— https://whatgotyouthere.com/the-distillation-of-josh-waitzkin/#Living_on_the_Other_Side_of_Pain

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Image text: "Because you will pay an emotional price for your inaction. When your life isn't lined up with how you believe you should be living, you pay the price for that, internally. It's hard to be happy when you're not doing the things you value and believe in."
“You must safeguard your self-respect. Self-respect is at the root of all purposefulness, and a failure in an enterprise deliberately planned deals a desperate wound at one’s self-respect. Hence I iterate and reiterate: Start quietly, unostentatiously.”
— Arnold Bennett, How To Live On 24 Hours a Day
The common thread in recovery stories is that people never thought in a million years that things could get so much better, but they did. It’s difficult to imagine yourself at the top of that mountain when you’re lying at the shadows at the bottom of it. But it’s possible. People do it all the time, and you can too.
I urge you to find a way to immerse yourself fully in the life you’ve been given. To stop running from whatever you’re trying to escape, and instead to stop, and turn, and face whatever it is. Then I dare you to walk toward it. In this way, the world may reveal itself to you as something magical and awe-inspiring that does not require escape. Instead, the world may become something worth paying attention to.
— Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Anna Lembke
“There was no harm in taking aim, even if the target was a dream.”
— A Separate Peace, John Knowles (b. 16 September 1926)

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The biggest factor in getting something to go from hard to easy is normally exposure. The more you encounter something, the less intimidating it gets. Your emotional relationship changes. There's less uncertainty, your skill in dealing with it improves, your resentment for it fades, your craving for ease or salvation disappears. It has become easy. So if you have a bit of foresight, the easiest thing to do is to make the hard things easy. You make the hard things harder when you let yourself fall into the habit of avoiding them. Normally we drag our feet all the way to the easy-point, so it stays hard as long as possible. A society that values convenience and technological solutions teaches us to overvalue the easy and to undervalue the hard. We try to escape the hard parts as often as possible, limiting our exposure and justifying our psychological resistance to it. We seldom come to something hard with the intention to get to the point where it's easy. So what we're really doing is ensuring that we experience as much "hard" as possible. [...]
Reconditioning your reaction towards hard parts reduces the apparent hardness immediately, not just of any given task, but of life as a whole. The payoff is huge. You steadily transform the world around you into an easier, more welcoming one, by making a pretty simple change in perspective. You can finally welcome it all. Think about it: life consists of alternating bits of hard and easy. So all the world can deliver you is ease, or a chance to create ease. That's the world I prefer to wake up to.
— How to make hard things easy by David Cain
“People say: “One can’t help one’s thoughts.” But one can. The control of the thinking machine is perfectly possible. And since nothing whatever happens to us outside our own brain; since nothing hurts us or gives us pleasure except within the brain, the supreme importance of being able to control what goes on in that mysterious brain is patent. This idea is one of the oldest platitudes, but it is a platitude whose profound truth and urgency most people live and die without realising. People complain of the lack of power to concentrate, not witting that they may acquire the power, if they choose. And without the power to concentrate - that is to say, without the power to dictate to the brain its task and to ensure obedience - true life is impossible. Mind control is the first element of a full existence.”
— Arnold Bennett, How To Live On 24 Hours a Day (via luxe-pauvre)
Do the work that is at hand. Do not worry about the 10 year plan on a day to day basis - yes, have a general idea at hand, a place where you want to be, and principles to follow. A purpose. But on a daily basis? Do the work. Do it to the best of your ability. Be world-class at this, no matter how humble the task might be. Take opportunities when they come, remain flexible. Focus, maintain good habits, try to learn, try to reflect. Get enough sleep. Eat good food. Move.
David Foster Wallace | Infinite Jest | 1996
“The rule is that “to become someone that you have never been before, you must do something that you have never done before.” This means that to develop a superior character, you must exert ever-higher levels of self-discipline and self-mastery on yourself. You must do the things that average people don’t like to do.”
— Brian Tracy (via dr-you)

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I can’t stop thinking about this.
“You must cultivate activities that you love. You must discover work that you do, not for its utility, but for itself. Think of something that you love to do for itself, whether it succeeds or not, whether you are praised for it or not, whether you are loved and rewarded for it or not, whether people know about it and are grateful to you for it or not. How many activities can you count in your life that you engage in simply because they delight you and grip your soul? Find them out, cultivate them, for they are your passport to freedom and to love.”
— Anthony De Mello, The Way to Love (via ramsesprashad)