truth hurts.

“you’re going to have a bruise.”

“it won’t heal if you keep picking at it.”

“you were out for a few days. how are you feeling?”

“absolutely not. you’ll pop your stitches.” 

“take it easy. you’re in rough shape.”

“those pain meds knocked you out.”

“where’d you get that bloody nose?”

“make a fist for me.” 

“where does it hurt?” 

“ow, ow, ow.”

“that’s going to need stitches.”

“shit, that hurts.”

“is it broken?”

“keep ice on it.”

“ouch!” 

“i can’t even look. is it bad? wait, don’t tell me.” 

“you shouldn’t be walking around right now.”

“how am i supposed to sleep with all these bandages?”

“stay in bed and let me look after you.” 

“there, you’re all patched up.” 

“let me help you to your room.”

“how many fingers am i holding up?”

“take your time. slow, slow. you’re doing great.”

“you could have a concussion. ”

“i’m okay. you can stop hovering.”

“you’re lucky. you could have gotten seriously hurt.”

❛  I dislike the feel of these woods.  ❜

❛  Unicorns? I thought they only existed in fairytales.  ❜

❛  This is a forest like any other. Isn’t it ?  ❜

❛  Let’s turn around. Hunt somewhere else.  ❜

❛  This is no world for you.  ❜

❛  Good luck to you, for you are the last.  ❜

❛  What do men know ?  ❜

❛  We are as old as the sky, old as the moon.  ❜

❛  We can be hunted, we can be trapped, we can even be killed but we do not vanish !  ❜

❛  Have you traveled very far ?  ❜

❛  Be a little respectful, do you know who I am ?  ❜

❛  Your name is a golden bell, hung in my heart.  ❜

❛  I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name.  ❜

❛  In all your wanderings, have you seen others like me ?  ❜

❛  Have you seen the others? Where have they gone? Tell me which way I must go to find them.  ❜

❛  No, no, listen ! Don’t listen to me, listen !  ❜

❛  You can find the others if you are brave.  ❜

❛  What if they’re waiting for me ? In need of my help ?  ❜

❛  Well hello there little one !  ❜

❛  And just who might you belong to ? a pretty little thing like you ?  ❜

❛  In my heart I carry such a heavy load.  ❜

❛  And here I thought I’d seen the last of them !  ❜

❛  I know you. If I were blind I would know what you are.  ❜

❛  You wouldn’t have heard of me.  ❜

❛  It’s not much of a job for a real magician, but I’ve had worse.  ❜

❛  You’re mine. If you kill me, you’re still mine.  ❜

❛  Your death sits in that cage and she hears you.  ❜

❛  She’ll kill me one day or another, but she will remember forever that I caught her, that I held her prisoner. So there’s my immortality.  ❜

❛  You were out on the road hunting for your own death !  ❜

❛  He’ll not have you ! You belong to me.  ❜

❛  We are two sides of the same magic.  ❜

❛  You are safer here. You should thank me for protecting you.  ❜

❛  There has never been a spell on me before.  ❜

❛  It’s a very rare person who is taken for what he truly is.  ❜

❛  Will you help me ?  ❜

❛  You’re my last chance.  ❜

❛  Can you truly set me free ?  ❜

❛  I asked him a riddle and it always takes that lout all night to solve riddles.  ❜

❛  the spell was wrong but there was true magic in it ! try again.  ❜

❛  My dear you deserve the services of a great wizard but I’m afraid you’ll have to be glad of the aide of a second rate pickpocket.  ❜

❛  Okay, (name), I give up. Why is a raven like a writing desk ?  ❜

❛  She’ll kill you if you set her free !  ❜

❛  Don’t look back, and don’t run.  ❜

❛  You must never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention.  ❜

❛  She chose her death long ago. It was the fate she wanted.  ❜

❛  You have no regrets as I do ?  ❜

❛  I’ve never seen anyone like you. Not while I was awake, anyway.  ❜

❛  I’m going where they are, to learn whatever they know.  ❜

❛  Take me with you ! for luck, for laughs, for the unknown.  ❜

❛  You could never have granted my true wish.  ❜

❛  I cannot turn you into something you are not.  ❜

❛  Hide yourself ! We’ll find each other later.  ❜

❛  Mind your heads now, it’s raining ninnies !  ❜

❛  Put me down you fool !  ❜

❛  I don’t like the look of him.  ❜

❛  That’s only (name)’s way, but she has a good heart.  ❜

❛  This is not happening.  ❜

❛  We’ll both be gentlemen of leisure in a months time.  ❜

❛  Oh, I love you.  ❜

❛  She shall never have you !  ❜

❛  We will perish together.  ❜

❛  Did you see me ? Were you watching ?  ❜

❛  Did you see what I made ?  ❜

❛  It’s gone now, but I had it !  ❜

❛  Where have you been ? Where have you been ! ?  ❜

❛  Where were you when I was new ?  ❜

❛  How dare you come to me now when I am this !  ❜

❛  It’s alright, I forgive you.  ❜

❛  You can’t come with us ! we’re on a quest !  ❜

❛  Well, you’re going the wrong way.  ❜

❛  You have all the power you need if you dare to look for it.  ❜

❛  What have you done ! ?  ❜

❛  The power will come to me whenever I need it, and one day! One day it will come to me when I call !  ❜

❛  You are an idiot !  ❜

❛  Don’t ! Don’t you hurt yourself !  ❜

❛  I can feel this body dying all around me !  ❜

❛  You are losing my interest, and that is very dangerous.  ❜

❛  I will keep nothing near me that does not make me happy.  ❜

❛  How would you know ?  ❜

❛  Well, just look at you !  ❜

❛  Come on, I’ll write you a reference.  ❜

❛  You have let your doom in by the front door !  ❜

❛  What are you looking at ?  ❜

❛  What is the matter with your eyes ?  ❜

❛  You may come and go as you please.  ❜

❛  My secrets guard themselves, may yours do the same.  ❜

❛  Please, let me help you. What can I do for you ?  ❜

❛  And then she looked at me and I was sorry I had killed the thing.  ❜

❛  For her sake I’ve become a hero but my great deeds mean nothing to her !  ❜

❛  I wish to be whatever she has most need of.  ❜

❛  You are cruel to him.  ❜

❛  He only wishes you to think of him.  ❜

❛  Who am I ? Why am I here ?  ❜

❛  I knew a moment ago, but I have forgotten.  ❜

❛  I was innocent and wise and full of pain.  ❜

❛  Now that I’m a woman, everything has changed.  ❜

❛  Why won’t you help me ? Why must you always speak in riddles ?  ❜

❛  I would tell you what you want to know if I could.  ❜

❛  I am always dreaming, even when I am awake. It is never finished.  ❜

❛  I would court you with more grace if I knew how.  ❜

❛  Drown out my dreams. Keep me from remembering whatever wants me to remember it.  ❜

❛  Words are always getting in my way.  ❜

❛  That’s all I have to tell you. That’s all I’ve got to say.  ❜

❛  I’m not a man of poetry. Music isn’t one with me.  ❜

❛  As if I didn’t have enough troubles.  ❜

❛  Well of course you’re of noble birth, anyone could see that.  ❜

❛  Love is slowing you down, my lady.  ❜

❛  It was pleasant enough at first, but it died quickly.  ❜

❛  There is nothing of yours that I desire.  ❜

❛  There is no movement of yours that has not betrayed you.  ❜

❛  I like to watch them. They fill me with joy.  ❜

❛  The first time I felt it, I thought I was going to die.  ❜

❛  Do you dare still pretend to be human ?  ❜

❛  It makes no difference. The end will be the same. I can wait.  ❜

❛  Shut up you pretentious kneecap !  ❜

❛  How would you like a punch in the eye ?  ❜

❛  It’s so nice to have someone to play with.  ❜

❛  Try me tomorrow. Maybe I’ll tell you tomorrow.  ❜

❛  Give it to me if you don’t want it but don’t throw it away !  ❜

❛  Give me the wine !  ❜

❛  You would have gone without me ?  ❜

❛  No name you could give her would surprise or frighten me.  ❜

❛  I love whom I love.  ❜

❛  I will go no further.  ❜

❛  Everything dies. I want to die when you die.  ❜

❛  Yes, that is my wish.  ❜

❛  I am a hero, and heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen.  ❜

❛  A quest may not simply be abandoned.  ❜

❛  A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.  ❜

❛  What if there isn’t a happy ending at all ?  ❜

❛  There are no happy endings, because nothing ends.  ❜

❛  Do something ! You have the power ! I will kill you if you don’t do something !  ❜

❛  That’s what heroes are for.  ❜

❛  I’ve never had any friends before.  ❜

❛  Men don’t always know when they’re happy.  ❜

❛  I’m sorry. I have done you evil and I cannot undo it.  ❜

“And those are the ten best fruits.”

“I can’t take it anymore. What’s up with the suit?”

“I ran into them at the store, while I was right in the middle of a free sample of crumb cake.”

“What are you, a private detective?”

“I’ve just been more willing to put myself out there.”

“Wow, I’m really proud of you.”

“There is no live audience for local news.”

“My dad skills are on-point.”

“When you experience zazz, you’ll know it in your bones. And your butt.”

“Uh. Something happened. Is it noticeable?”

“This feels more like a cover-up than a wipe-off.”

“A bad picture can haunt you an entire year.”

“I’m a lost cause, but you still have time.”

“Tell me who did this. I promise I’ll be cool.”

“I’ll kill them!”

“I can’t do it tonight. I mean, technically I could I just don’t want to.”

“His day is ruined! And not to be an alarmist, but maybe his life.”

“You gotta admit, it’s hilarious.”

“His face looks like the side of a bathroom stall.”

“Apologies are for the weak.”

“So in the future when a self-driving car is president and the robots figured out that the only thing they need from us is teeth, at least these two will be able to handle themselves.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“If you refuse to civilize them, I’ll do it myself.”

“Good luck getting an apology. Maybe after that you can push back the ocean or wrestle the wind.”

“You’ve been lulled into a California complacency like a tan baby eating an avocado.”

“Here’s a weather report: that audition was a natural disaster.”

“This whole bowl of popcorn could be yours if you could just apologize.”

“I was trying to be edgy.”

“I love that you’re going after your dream.”

“I’ll take that comparison as a compliment.”

“I’ll take you from hateable to relatable.”

“I hope you’re happy. You made me abandon my principles.”

“It took four hours using questionable tactics, but I did it.”

“The bangs were a mistake.”

“Are you done with the mustache jokes?”

“They’re helpless and I’m done trying to help.”

“Mess with me, fine. But no one messes with [name]!”

“Being a jerk is not a survival skill.”

“He’s your friend, even though he’s whiny and weird.”

“Being angry is exhausting.”

“I haven’t said sorry since 1998.”

“That’s a start, and you have to start somewhere.”

“It could be boring, but it’s not with you. You make it fun and interesting and weird.”

“Did you just double blindfold me?”

“You must be [name]. What a wonderful face.”

“I feel like I’m crying.”

“Get a hold of yourself.”

“I’m always curious to know what goes on at these ‘girls nights’. What do you do? Eat yogurt and tickle each other?”

“Did you know that photos could be on paper?”

“Never give away anything unless you’re getting something back.”

“Nobody likes a kiss-ass.”

“I love these so much, I got adult-baptized in them.”

“The joy of giving lasted five seconds!”

“I’ll fall for that, but only because I love you.”

“Without riles, social order falls into chaos.”

“Get in here, bitch!”

“I bet you’re really annoying on vacation.”

“Every time I see her face, I just wanna yell.”

“I’m like Gwyneth Paltrow if she had a baby with Gwyneth Paltrow.”

“I know that look. You two dummies did something good, didn’t you?”

“You’re like the closest thing we have to Liam Neeson.”

“I’m not gonna come to your rescue, but what I am gonna do is teach you a life lesson because you’re both emotionally seven years old.”

“You did something nice, but it was a dumb accident.”

“Why does my mouth taste like pennies?”

“Can I interest you in a thousand hugs?”

“That gutted feeling? You’ll get over it.”

“I just go along with it because it makes her feel good.”

“You can’t just show up here and undermine everything I do.”

“I hate that I make you feel like what you do isn’t important.”

“Now go be a man and get your shoes back.”

“You’re a very scary woman.”

“You’re the strongest person I know.”