johnny storm

    “ so – let me get this straight.  i don’t have any of your charm, but i still get to land babes ??  johnny, that’s the best of both worlds. ”  peter thinks maybe johnny is overstating his spider-persuasion.  mostly, it just seems like improbably beautiful, talented, good people fall into peter’s life and miraculously don’t disappear when he starts babbling.  peter props his chin up on his fist and finds himself watching johnny with a dumb-ass smile for a few seconds.  “ what’re you gonna do when you’re old, totally irrelevant, and some young and fiery whippersnapper is getting all the headlines ??  ”

Johnny hesitates. The thing they don’t tell you about having a secret child from an alternate universe with your best friend is how keeping said secret from them periodically feels like your stomach is getting hollowed out like the insides of a pumpkin on Halloween. Thanks to his Beyoncé sponsored media training, he recovers quickly. “First of all, I’m going to remain beloved and relevant forever, like Keanu Reeves or Will Smith. Second of all, I have no problems passing the torch, so to speak, as long as my successor is worthy.” Johnny pauses, fidgeting a little. “I bet you won’t, though. I bet you’ll be, like, still trying to stuff your geriatric butt into a Spidersuit when you’re 90.”

— Kara wasn’t the only one it seemed keeping an eye from above. She found a spot hidden away from view, for her it was easy to see past the obstacles to the crowd below. So far it was calm, but she had a bad feeling it could change. There was many things on her mind ever since it happened, not to mention she started this whole teaching thing and she had yet to wonder if she was even doing it right. The sound of someone approaching made her snap out of her thoughts. “ Sorry, there’s a shortage of rooftops. ” 

The Academy was pretty much crawling with heroes of various levels of renown, but the ‘S’ crest held a little more notoriety than most. Although Johnny doubted that a Kryptonian would be perturbed by the flames, he lets them sizzle out anyways. “No worries, plenty of room for two up here,” Johnny says easily, mouth tilting in a smile. “Supergirl, right?” he sticks a hand out when he’s convinced it’s not too warm. “Johnny Storm. Big fan! Nice to meet you.”

    peter doesn’t want to agree, because it sounds icky coming from him.  but yeah, nasty in a sexy and fun way ??  megan thee stallion is definitely those things – jury’s still out on johnny storm’s relative nastiness.  he eyes the napkin before snatching it from johnny’s hand.  “ had.  who says it’s in the past ??  this kind of nasty is a hot commodity, too. ”  he contemplates the story for a second.  “ so was it, like, a shot glass full of spit ??  or an otherwise normal shot with a loogie floating at the top ??  and, hey, while we’re at it, what’dya say about spider-man ??” 

“I cannot believe you just referred to yourself as a ‘hot commodity’,” Johnny groaned. And what was wrong with him, that that wasn’t even a little bit of a turn off. Ugh. Years of watching Sue fall madly in love with Reed’s dork ass could not have been good for him. “Seriously, you’d think some of my magnetic charm would’ve rubbed off on you by now, but nope. Still landing babes with those radioactive spider-persuasion powers you claim not to have.” Johnny wrinkles his nose a little at the memory. “More like the second one. Listen, this was back when the only thing I knew about you was that you were stealing my headlines.”

 june laughed, putting her head in her hands. it didn’t seem to matter what universe it was, her father was still always embarrassing to her.  “ i think i should do alone. it might be a lot to have a kid pop up and one of your good friends to also say ‘ i’m her dad too ‘ at the same time, y’know? “ she reached over to steal a bite of his food. “ your engagement story was basically a maury episode, from what you told me. “

Johnny grins; he wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the way June looked just a little bit like Sue whenever she laughed. Was it normal to feel such strong affection for a whole adult he had not had any hand in raising? Probably not. “Oh-- yeah. He might be pretty freaked,” Johnny concedes. “Hey, I’ll buy you a brand new Mitsubishi if you tell him he’s married to Deadpool.” At the mention of an engagement, Johnny forces a casual tone. “Yikes. I believe it, though. Was he the one that proposed? Bet he was. My proposal would be epic. Nicholas Sparks would write bestsellers about it. Beyoncé would drop surprise albums in tribute to our love.”

“ i’m nasty ?? ” peter repeats incredulously, and he rolls his eyes as a really convenient excuse to not look at johnny’s face while he holds the napkin.  this if potentially the fifth dorkiest moment of his life, and shame on johnny for pointing that out.  ass.  “ yeah, keep it brief, alright ??  you’re not the only one who wants to get naked at my funeral – isn’t that weird ??  but hey, you’re in good company.  flash thompson has a really mournful set prepared, or so i’ve heard. ”  

Johnny feels that little prickle of warmth he always does when he makes Peter laugh. “Oh I’m nasty, too,” he says with a wink. “Just, you know, nasty in the sexy, fun way. Nasty in the way Megan Thee Stallion is nasty.” Johnny pulls his hand back to survey the damage, and silently takes full credit for the fact that the bleeding appears to have stopped. “See?” he says, waving the bloody napkin in Peter’s face. “Gross! Anyway, thanks for the heads up on the competition. You know that guy spit in a shot and had it sent to me for gently trash talking Spiderman? He had such a crush.”

closed starter for @flcmes​ !!

    “ so, i’ve been thinking. about telling peter. “ june says casually, waiting for johnny to be taking a bite of his food so he can’t immediately turn down the idea. “ it seems unfair for you to be the only one who knows, and no offense but he can help me more with the…spidey stuff. i miss getting into the costume. “ 

At June’s admission, relief spreads right up through the tips of Johnny’s fingers. At first Johnny was kinda flattered that she’d come to him first, but as time passed it got harder to keep such a massive secret from his friend. “I think that’s a great idea,” he says, once he’s swallowed his food. “One hundred percent behind you. Do you want me to be there? I could also be... not there. Like, we could tag team him, with me doing post-reveal damage control. I’ve watched a lot of Maury in preparation.”

@flcmes​

    “ you know, ” peter begins, in a tone that suggests he’s gearing up for a complaint of epic proportions.  he holds a wadded up ball of tissue under what’s left of a once-impressive nosebleed.  “ i can jump off a building, no problem. but i stand up too fast during allergy season, and… ”  as least the worst seems to have passed.  extremely sexy of peter, really.  “ can you imagine if that happened under the mask ??  johnny, i’d probably drown or something. ”  a certain amount of dramatics is allowable in the life of a spider-man, right ??  right.  

Most of the time Johnny thinks Peter’s busted up face is actually kind of cute, but there’s a marked difference in the aesthetic appeal of a cut across a cheekbone versus an allergy-induced bloody nose. “You’re nasty,” he says plainly, batting Peter’s hand away to hold a fresh crumpled up Starbucks napkin under his nose. “And a massive dork. But when you drown in your own nose blood, I promise to keep my striptease at your funeral to under five minutes.”

Look, it’s JOHNNY STORM from earth-2327! I hear they go by THE HUMAN TORCH and they’re currently AN ACTOR/MECHANIC AT THE ACADEMY. I noticed they’re CHARISMATIC, but also kinda IMPULSIVE. I can’t wait to see what they do next!