Currently listening to Keep Me by Novo Amor, she added this song to our playlist, called "Love is in the Air✈️✨HAHA"
I remember when she smiled after she kissed me
Her smile made me melt, it shows me a pure love, a love that asked for nothing but an abundance of happiness for both of us
She kissed me so passionately, softly and gently
I'm so in love with her
And I'm blessed that I'm in love with her
I'm blessed that we're so in love, that we love each other, equally...
The way she touched me, so gently, full of compassion
The way she looked at me, full of love, so bright and full of spark, brighter than any jewellery, so beautiful
The way she smiled at me, shows me happiness and hope...
The way we touched, the way we looked at each other, every glance full of spark, the way we smiled at each other, I'm so in love with you... God, we're so in love
Keep me.. keep me on fire
I love you✨♒
It's such a blessing that you are my love, my wife, another happiness that came to my life
I'm so in love with you, I'm so in love with you, and I'm so in love with you❤️❤️❤️
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Tertutup amat pikiran dengan tulisan terbuka orang😅
Temen temenku suka bertanya "kok lo bisa inget detail sih sampe tanggal dan jamnya?" Jawabanku simple, "agar tidak kena manipulasi oleh orang orang manipulative". Manipulator seringnya nge-twist kejadian nyata dengan banyak sekali kejadian kejadian yang bahkan tidak sesuai dengan faktanya. Diputer sedemikian rupa, bikin kamu meragukan diri kamu sendiri. Mereka juga tidak segan untuk nge-gaslight kamu.
Teman temanku juga pernah bertanya
"Orang manipulative tau tidak kalo mereka manipulate others?"
"Tentu tau" :)
"Mereka sadar ga kalo sudah manipulate orang?"
"Tentu sadar" yakali pingsan wkwk
Kenapa? Itu trick mereka.
Dan sejauh ini, cara teramanku untuk bisa nampol mereka, ya dengan kasih evidence aka kejadian nyatanya, faktanya, dengan merentetkan kejadiannya secara merinci, kalo perlu screenshot bukti, kasih dah. Kalo memang tidak mau dealing dengan mereka yaudah walk away, save your energy. Silent treatment? Wahhh, begini, apa yang kamu harapkan dengan orang orang yang bahkan gagal untuk memahami kamu? Apa yang kamu harapkan dengan orang orang yang dalam waktu singkat berkali kali memberikan begitu banyak kejadian yang membagongkan? Yang kamu sendiri terheran heran? You have your rights to walk away from those people. Sometimes ya memang kita ada concern tersendiri, seperti "Aku jahat ga ya? Gimana kalo misal orangnya overthinking ya? Gimana kalo orangnya jadi self-blaming ya? Gimana kalo jatohnya jadi never ending penyiksaan?"
Ada dua pilihan
1. Boleh untuk walk away (liat dulu backgroundnya seperti apa)
2. Boleh untuk diajak ngobrol secara langsung
Kalo walk away menentramkan ya mangga, kalo diajak ngobrol secara oh ternyata ga berani orangnya, atau orangnya gamau, yaudah move on dari concernmu.
Kadang sebagian orang tidak berhak mendapatkan kekhawatiran darimu, atau gini, kadang sebagian orang itu tidak pantas dikhawatirkan.
Memang, kita pengennya itu hidup tenang tentram aja, ga menginginkan sama sekali adanya manipulator dikehidupan kita, atau orang orang immature dikehidupan kita, pengennya yang happy happy aja, atau yang positif positif aja. Tapi ya "kita gabisa selalu dapetin apa yang kita mau, justru orang orang yang dateng ke kehidupan kita entah buruk atau baik, lalu situasi, kejadian, apapun itu yang menimpa kita, akan membawa kita kedalam hal yang kita inginkan, akan membentuk diri kita seperti yang kita inginkan". Sebut saja ini adalah proses pendewasaan. Bukan nonton konten porno, bukan ya🙄🤣
Seperti kata Tracey McMillan dalam bentuk bahasa inggris yang simple gini wkwk
"Life doesn't give you what you've asked for, it gives you the people, places and situations, that allow you to develop what you ask for".
- Tracy McMillan
Kalo kata mba Tracey lagi nih di TEDx Talk
"You ask for patience, and what you get is a line at the bank"
Memang pahit kalo berhadapan dengan orang orang yang menyebalkan, bukan kita yang pengen, memang tidak, akupun secara pribadi gamau juga.
Istilahnya gini
"As Gemini wkwk zodiak lagi wkwk. As a human being kita bisa bikin hidup kita seperti roller coaster, tetapi kita juga bisa milih mau menjalani hidup yang seperti itu atau tidak"
Kalo tidak ya tinggal singkirkan aja yang bikin seperti roller coaster, kalo itu penyebabnya dari eksternal. Kalo dari internal atau dari sendiri, do your best untuk working on yourself! FIGHTING!!!
Misal faktor external, kantor yang isinya staf staf toxic, ya resign.
Kata temanku "your well-being itu tidak ada harganya"
Anyway, last but not least, berterima kasihlah kepada orang orang yang menyebalkan, karna mereka jadi kita tahu betapa berharganya orang orang yang tidak menyebalkan. Betapa kita juga jadi realized untuk menyisir orang orang seperti ini dari kehidupan kita. Selalu ada hal baik yang kita bisa pelajari dari sebuah kejadian.
bukan tugas kita untuk memperbaiki karakter manusia. kalo ada manusia yang rusak karakternya dilingkunganmu, jangan menjadi bidadari, hendak memperbaiki, haduh, gabisa. ELUS DADA ORANG BOLEH? WADOHHH wkwk
mereka membentuk karakternya sedari kecil, tidak bisa dengan instant berubah. dan bukan tanggung jawabmu juga. UTAMAKAN YOUR WELL BEING.
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Jaman pake masker, matanya cantik, dibuka maskernya tertegun terdiam wkwk
Sebenernya gapapa lhoh, misal pas dibuka maskernya ternyata kumisnya sepanjang ketek, giginya kuning, atau jerawatan, memang sometimes hal hal yang minus bikin insecure, tetapi sebenernya gapapa.. cari orang orang yang mau menerima aja. Tetapi yang paling utama berdamai dengan diri sendiri dulu, setelah bisa menerima diri, baru deh dah tuh, bisa membuka orang lain. Karna gini, jatohnya kalo misal masih insecure dan hendak berhubungan dengan orang lain, akan sulit diorang lainnya, karna seperti bebannya dijatuhkan ke orang lain tersebut. Dan jatohnya akan complicated pake banget.
"bukan tugas kita untuk memperbaiki orang lain, itu adalah pergulatan dia dan dirinya sendiri"
Things that I realized about myself when I liked someone in the past, call it having an infatuation
If I have to recall it from 2017 to 2023, it happened twice, the first one was in Oct 2017, and the second one was in May 2021
Let's just talk about 2021
I did remember how I wrote poetry about this person, and how I behaved towards this person
I called her rare and said she was an ocean, full of mystery, looked so calm outside, hard to dive in, but oh it was so challenging, it looked so fascinating and hypnotizing at the same time, I was so attracted to her brain works, she dominated me in any way HAHA. Called it weird but that's just me, being me. A strong character never fails to attract me. Ah, mature woman..
Every day felt like a roller coaster, and no, it wasn't confusing, it was just how I felt towards her, I was so thrilled. It was too far away from boring or even flat, excitement all the time HAHA
You know it was like you can feel the electricity rushing into your body. Every single day I did my best to figure her out, slowly peeling off her skin so I can see her true colours. I did remember I was led by curiosity, I blindly adored her, paying attention to her movements so I can write a lot of things about her, capturing with my eyes and putting them into words.
God, she was so enchanting!✨
Another thing is I know that wasn't love, I was just led by curiosity and lust, after I found out everything, I started losing interest.
Changing patterns is never easy wkwk I always loved to pursue something that is way too far from boring, something challenging, but now I adore consistency more than anything, calmness, the safe and secure feeling when you're around them. Since 2013, until today, never met that kind of person HAHA
I found that some people aren't good enough controling themselves, I found that some people aren't good enough at holding their anger, even if sometimes they're wise, it's not an exception, and I realized that, cause we all just a human.
But it will be great if you mastering your emotions, you don't let your anger to control you, and then saying something rude or harsh words to people under your anger control and then you end up regretting your action, your behaviour. Repeat.
If you have to deal dengan orang yang begini, the thing that you can do is just take yourself away for a moment, in case you'll get burn by their anger, karna negative vibes itu menular cepet ya, and after you calm down, then you can talk to that person again, if orang tsb masih aja marah, then okay, you can't do anything about it. You can just walk away, it's okay, bukan berarti you're mean. You protect yourself, and no it's unlike you're being selfish.
The thing is people can do anything they want, their behaviour, they owned them, they can treat you in any way they want but don't let it affects you. You can't control them but you can control yourself, you can walk away or set boundaries, you choose, you're the master of yourself :)
7 June 2023
I failed, and that's okay. You know, human make mistake, and you're a human too. Sometimes you're out of control, and that's okay... That's really okay...
Insecurity is one of the most unattractive traits. It is a huge turn-off, regardless of your gender. The lack of confidence can lead to a lot of unnecessary drama.
Why insecurity is so unattractive? Because a lack of self-worth, self-confidence, to just accept you as who you are.
It is so negative and idk for me it just one thing that I don't wanna deal with, cause it's so irritating and tiring to keep constantly telling that you're worth it, you're so much more than that, etc. It's a sign that you need a validation from others to just make you feel good. It can lead to codependency too.
If there's someone who's insecure about themselves, I can't help it, they're the one who can build their self-worth and self-confidence.
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Manusia itu dinamis, human behaviour itu dinamis, penyebabnya adalah kehidupan, experience pleasant or unpleasant things, learning new things, berhadapan dengan berbagai macam kejadian didalam kehidupan.
Banyak hal yang menjadi faktor mengapa setiap manusia terbentuk menjadi seperti A atau seperti B atau seperti C dst. Dan tidak ada yang benar benar buruk dari perubahan serta perkembangan manusia selagi itu bukan yang menyakiti diri sendiri
Bahkan menyakiti diri sendiripun adalah bagian dari pembelajaran untuk sebagian orang, ada yang berhasil keluar dari situasi tersebut dan ada pula yang masih tetap berada disana. Untuk orang orang yang sedang struggling dan berusaha untuk keluar dari any circumstances yang kamu sedang hadapi sekarang, stay strong ya, don't give up on yourself, okay? I'm with you!
Balik lagi ke manusia itu dinamis, pada dasarnya manusia adalah social animal, mereka mencoba untuk survive didalam setiap kehidupannya, melindungi diri adalah salah satu hal yang manusia akan lakukan ketika mereka notice ada sesuatu yang dia anggap berbahaya. Aku ngomong apa sih wkwkwk
Balik ke manusia itu dinamis, mereka berubah bukan tanpa sebab, mereka menjadi seperti itu bukan tanpa sebab, karakter mereka menjadi sedemikian rupa bukan tanpa sebab. Kalo kata Joker orang jahat adalah orang baik yang tersakiti, kalo kata aku jika orang jahat adalah orang baik yang tersakiti maka orang tersebut adalah orang yang kehilangan dirinya sendiri, dan gagal untuk overcoming struggle nya, wanjer aku nge-judge ya? Wkwk aku hanya menjawab berdasarkan logika wkwk disisi lain kita tidak bisa semerta merta menarik mentah mentah kesimpulan tanpa melihat apa yang dialami sebelumnya. Kuncinya hanya disatu, ada yang mau bersabar melihat kebelakang dan mengerti dan memahami atau tidak. Jika tidak maka sungguh tidak apa apa
Contohnya, jika manusia yang dulunya seperti A(sangat warm dan welcome), kemudian berubah menjadi B(menjaga jarak dan memasang tembok), aku rasa itu tidak semerta merta tanpa sebab, banyak sekali orang baik yang dimanfaatkan kebaikannya hanya untuk keuntungan diri sendiri, jadi wajar jika melindungi diri dengan cara tidak gegabah memberikan kepercayaan dilakukan olehnya. Kata salah satu yang pernah memanfaafkan orang baik, dia bilang kepadaku
"Masalah mereka adalah satu, menganggap semua orang sama dengannya, sama sama baik. Jadi mereka tidak tahu mereka dimanfaatkan".
They've been betrayed and experience extremely painful memories at the same time. It's understandable if they took a step back and observing the wave before jumping into the ocean
Manusia adalah social animal, melindungi diri adalah salah satu behaviour nya. Memang bukan memagar dengan membuat tembok setinggi-tingginya sehingga bahaya tidak akan masuk tetapi juga melewatkan untuk melihat dunia luar dan hal hal menyenangkan lainnya, tetapi lebih ke melindungi diri dengan menyortir dan membuat batasan, yang seperti apa yang bisa masuk kedalam rumahnya
Sampai hari ini aku masih belum bisa mengerti manusia lain, meski aku berjumpa dengan begitu banyak manusia dengan latar belakang yang sangat beragam, aku masih lost dan tidak mengerti manusia lain. Dan pada akhirnya, kehidupan adalah ladang untuk pembelajaran, jika aku masih belum mengerti manusia lain, tidak apa apa, aku masih hidup yang artinya aku masih memiliki kesempatan untuk bisa mengerti manusia dengan lebih baik :)
isn't it funny? how some people call other people ABCDE when they are themselves is ABCDE
it's not surprising to me at all, I lead by curiosity, mostly jumping to one thing just because wanna fulfil my question, what my instinct told me
it's just funny yet so ridiculous how some people fake things, saying things they don't even mean, so manipulative. I'm tired of those people, can they just extinct/vanished/be gone from this world? HAHA
I had never heard about pedobear back then, not knowing that the word exist, and never knowing what does it mean until a friend that I know told me weeks ago, when I mentioned I love kids, love to be around them and play around with them, because children, they're honest, they're pure and innocent.
Gratefully, she didn't say things she doesn't know to other people because nowadays people get offended pretty easy
I've ever been called as not feminine enough to just be a woman, years ago, by a workmate
I laughed when I heard that, I mean if his perspective about women should wear dresses, and make-up, whoa that's just narrow-minded, but again I only laughed out loud because I have zero interest to have a discussion with a narrow-minded person. You know, nothing is worth more than your peace of mind :)
Years ago, I found a random person on the internet, and she called me rakyat jelata just because I'm using android, I laughed out loud, that was the first time ever someone called me rakyat jelata, so I told her she was a rare person, I mean I would like to call myself as a social butterfly, I met a lot of random people, through the internet or just in person since late 2015, and this was my first time ever someone said that to me, I'm grateful because just a few people who are small-minded, 1:100 if I have to say, you don't see the world through bolongan sedotan right? And then she was furious, and ran away and went back after 3 months, guess what? I didn't care at all when she was furious or when she went back and told me she was furious HAHA as you know not everyone has a great self-control :p
Nowadays what you wear and use doesn't define how rich you are, since sekarang banyak pinjol wkwk I do understand some people love iPhones because of iPhone so they bought it, some just use their money, like keringat sendiri, some just use credit card or maybe pinjol, some just want to fit in social stereotypes, some bought it using their parent's money, didalam hal apapun tidak hanya iPhone, dan gapapa itu sah sah saja, as long as you didn't destroy/attack anyone's with what you have
Iklan salah satu bocoran iPhone 15, cable nya bakal type C LHOH
Balik lagi,
It would be wonderful if we as human beings used the right words to show respect and kindness, rather than saying things they don't even understand or know, but again I wouldn't be mad nor even get hurt because I will only see them as an ignorant ;)
Dan, I found this funny, I mean people who did that mostly easy to get offended. They don't pay attention to their words and at the same time, they get offended if people do the same thing to them wkwk XD
Last but not least, bahwa memang kita tidak bisa mengendalikan orang lain hendak bagaimana, kita yang bisa menentukan mau gimana menghadapi setiap manusia, yang aku tahu marah marah hanya akan membuang buang energi, menjelaskan sesuatu ke orang yang sudah committed to misunderstanding you adalah exhausting, so use your energy wisely :D
I don't know either, the only thing that I know is relationships are complicated, and maybe not the relationship but the human is, human is complicated
I remember I wrote about love isn't complicated, but humans made it complicated
why human is complicated? I don't know either HAHA mostly humans make things complicated. humans are complex. a relationship is between two or more two people, the way they see or understand things are different. and putting their heads together isn't that easy. it took a lot of patience, willingness, understanding and sacrifice, etc. by both, not only one.
conclusion: humans are complicated, complex, and full of surprises.
don't mind me, I'm just getting bored because I have nothing to do unless playing Sudoku dan Tetris.
I used to have a dream to live in Bandung, since I was 11, but now not anymore. And no, I'm not in love with Jakarta. You know, you can't always just cover your scars, Bandung is lovely, but Bandung was never meant to be mine, and Bandung was meant to be part of me.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Sometimes we demand ourselves to act quickly, to think quickly, as quick as a wink
It's not easy to make a decision, especially if we have only less than an hour, maybe we can make sure ourselves, but the external? We can't control things outside of our control, can we?
Why don't we take a risk?
If it's worth it then do it, if it's not then just accept whatever things that universe has offered to you
Sometimes we don't get what we want but we get what we needed
they don't change just as quick as wink, no they don't
some people might think "oh this person looks so much better"
well, some people don't really know "what's inside"
they only see things that other people show, things that people allow to share, allow to see, it's not their true colour, so don't be tricked out by them
if you think maybe this person is changing, no, she/he doesn't.
maybe they're the same person that you faced 2 or 3 years ago, maybe they're still the same, with some troubles that follow them, with so many complicated things that they show you when you were so close to them
"some people don't easily change, some people refused to grow"
people change to be something better if they want it and if they're aware there's something that they should improve, and you can't expect them to be something better at least for themselves, no
so back off and find something better
life will always offer you something better in the future, in your current, not the past
and no, it doesn't mean that you don't forgive your past, it means you just can't go back and waste your time with the same person WANJER wkwk
I know some people might think "why don't we try to give a second chance?"
a second chance? why would you give them a second chance?
"some people don't change as quick as a wink, or maybe in a year or maybe in two years, no"
and some people don't deserve to get a second chance, no
and it's not that you don't forgive them, no, you just deserve something or someone's better.
