flat tummy, slim thighs.

So here's why I return: because I love my boyfriend, I love my life with him, and I love living with him, but I look down and don't even recognize myself from where I was two years ago. I put on a housedress sort of thing last night and walked past a mirror and almost sobbed.

I don't live near bikram anymore. I support myself, have far less free time, and I live far from any exercise place of any kind - from gyms to yoga studios - and I don't have a car to get there. My achilles tendon (and athsma, which is new!) doesn't allow me to run anymore.

Getting there is now even harder than it ever was. But I cannot live with those excuses anymore. They're just challenges. It means that I need to be creative, is all.

This is somehow more daunting than ever, probably because I gained so much weight eating so much crap while living here for the past year and a half.

But I have to do it. I just have to.

And gained 15 pounds. As you do.

Welp.

Food I'm gonna eat today: - 1 bowl wheat-free maple flax oatmeal (x) - 1 bowl Jason's mum's quinoa - 1 soft-boiled egg - 1 Vega smoothie - 1 bowl frozen fruit with almond milk - 2 bowls apple sauce - 1 piece cheddar cheese, if necessary Hopefully gonna start doing this, until I can start working out and shit again. I may or may not kind of live with my boyfriend now, which is making doing my workout shit difficult. And I've also gained an indeterminate number of pounds I don't wanna go into.