FlashBOMB

You know I never really expect people to understand me, the reason being I guess is I'm just a little complicated to handle. I know I am.  I guess its my family fault for not showing me how to deal with people. Cause honestly my family really couldn't care less about each other.  So I mean whats there really else to say if your own family cant understand you then how in THE WORLD can any normal human attempt to.  

This is why I keep everything I feel to myself cause when I show what Im feeling it always comes back on me like I'm the one who is an ass hole. 

I keep pain, stress, sadness, chaos, and loneliness to myself cause those things are what NO ONE needs to see.  Everyone in this world that I perceive has a presumed notion about me and if I sway from what they see and show what I feel on the inside they freak out.  

All my life I have always said - Im not aloud to have bad days because its my job to make everyone's day better and if I were to show whats inside of me no one would ever understand. 

I don't know how long I can keep it up, maybe until I'm ashes in an Urn on someones fireplace that whats inside of me cause actually come up.