L!VE ☼ HARMON!ZE ☼ !NSPIRE

Too often we think of an attachment as being synonymous with sharing a bond. And so when we are told to release our attachments, we become confused.

The most common way in which this confusion is expressed is via the question: “How do I love without attachment?”

But the teachings regarding non-attachment are not intended to instruct us against forming bonds. It is an instruction against forming illusions.

This is because attachment itself is an illusion. It is an illusion of permanence.

Attachment to someone (or something) is defined by a reliance upon them in such a way that they are woven into your sense of self, the ego. You then rely on maintaining that attachment in order to maintain a normal sense of self. If anything threatens to change or end it, it will feel like a personal attack or even a death.

Therefore your attachment becomes a way to simulate a reliability or permanence where in reality there is none. Because nothing is in fact permanent and everything is subject to change inevitably.

We suffer not only when our attachments are threatened by change but also simply by holding onto them. The manners in which we cling to our attachments are riddled with delusion and discomfort. And so long as we hold onto attachments, we are of course not free.

To release attachments does not mean to release bonds. We may still form deep and meaningful connections with other people. We may love them truly and feel the sadness of the loss should they leave us.

If we can do that without grabbing hold of them and making them responsible for our sense of self and fundamental happiness, then we can live without attachment.

This may not be so easy to learn but it is also not so hard. Nothing feels so natural as your own freedom. Once you begin to free yourself, you will not settle for anything less.