Unwelcome ║ Fire & Clair
blessedtamer:
It was as if floodgates burst open. Fire began apologizing, first a little, then sputtering and tripping over his words without even thinking about them. He put his head in his hands—then sighed, looking back at her with pleading eyes. She was right, he said, about everything. About who he was and his severe lack of accomplishments. A has-been, living in another’s shadow.
“…Like you said, you command dragons! Half of my pokemon don’t respect me enough to listen, while you seem to have no problem with that!”
Clair pursed her lips. The kid was losing it. She shifted her weight to the other leg and folded her arms over her chest. His onslaught of apologies was like being hit by a train and then punched repeatedly in the stomach. Her stomach bunched in twisted knots. It felt like pity and shame.
“Uh…”
She was no judge to what was ‘good.’ She’d admitted as much to herself in these last few weeks. But she’d always acted with what had to be done, and said what needed to be said. Or so she thought. She couldn’t pass judgement before first passing it onto herself… but at the same time, Fire was an idiot. And stupid children like that never learned.
“I get why you’re so mad whenever you see me. I’d be mad too if I had to deal with someone like me.”
God, the kid just wouldn’t stop whining! Clair put her hands on her hips, her frown turning into a dark scowl. She couldn’t take this anymore. “Listen, kid,” she said, her tone scathing, “I’m not going to stand here and listen to this pity party. Your words are meaningless to me.” She sneered. “You want to stop being an asshole? Fine. Go ahead. But first take responsibility for the shit you’ve done.”
Fire looked absolutely pathetic. Standing with his shoulders slumped, eyes downcast, and all the fight gone from his voice. Like his confidence was just some a shitty façade. Nothing riled Clair up more—or infuriated her. What Fire said rang true to her heart, and had all the fears and insecurities she kept bottled up inside. But while Fire gave up, she fought. And continued to fight, because there was absolutely no way she would lose.
“Stand up.” Not a request. “Look at me. You are a sad little man.” Clair glared into each of his eyes. “You let your fragile ego get the better for you, and for what? Showing me up? You interfered with my work and let those Beedrill die.” It could have all been avoided, and yet time and time again he insisted it wasn’t. “I don’t accept your apology.”
Fire stood up straight when he was told to. He wasn’t sure why, a few minutes ago he would have completely ignored her orders. He probably would have slouched even more to defy her. He also found himself looking her straight in the eye, some he rarely did with anyone. Not even his closest friend.
Clair’s last words echoed through Fire’s head. She didn’t accept his apology. Fire had taken a chance to stop the seemingly endless feud, to apologize for what he had done and what he had said, and it had failed. He wasn’t quite sure what to do, he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to think or where to go from that point.
Everything Clair had said was true. He was a sad man with a fragile ego. It was one thing for him to say those things about himself, it was another to hear it coming from another person, to hear it coming from Clair. It seemed to have more impact that way. It meant more when he heard her say it. It seemed more real when she said it. Then it hit him. Her point was finally sinking in.
He had let the Beedrill die.
Fire didn’t know what Clair was doing when they first encountered each other. All he saw was Clair commanding one of her dragons to attack some wild Beedrill. He tried to put the pieces together back then, but it just occurred to him that he had put them together wrong. While it was true that Clair was attacking the Beedrill to train, Fire had assumed she would just leave them for dead. It was an emotional overreaction on his part. It was why he started yelling at her, it was how their feud started. What if Fire hadn’t said anything? What if he kept walking? What if he wasn’t there at all? Clair might have been able to help and heal the Beedrill, instead of letting them die on the ground.
“Oh...oh no...It’s my fault...” Fire mumbled to himself as he began to understand. He hated seeing pokemon get hurt, especially when it was caused by a human. This time he only had himself to blame. Pokemon had died because of him. Not just one, but an entire swam. Maybe an entire hive. Now it was too late for him to change what he had done. It was too late for him to help the Beedrill. It was too late for him to walk away and let the gym leader train in peace.
“It is my fault...it is all my fault...” He mumbled again, a little louder than before. He snapped out of his daze, noticing he was still maintaining eye contact with Clair. He didn’t care if she heard his mutterings, and he didn’t care what she had to say next. He was still too focused on his own thoughts of what had happened.
