Carter Brooks

Make it three drinks and we’ll have a deal.

I can agree to three if you don't deliberately go for the most expensive ones.

Someone is watching too much TV, this reminded me of a cross between Friends and AHS.

I rarely watch TV. Feel free to google it.

And then get rid of Norris, yeah? That’s fucking dirty. I’m into it.

Obviously or he might talk. But I'm thinking of keeping him around, just in case I may need him again.

But, then I would have to be locked in a room and hear you hoes.

Nah, I'd buy you a drink and you could go wherever you want and have it.

Lock myself in a room and call the cops.

Depending on how they look, you should call me instead.

You don’t know how ugly the women were. Not everyone has low standards. 

Well, it was his girlfriend so I'm guessing he'd be attracted to her at least.

Maybe he was forced to by his parents or some shit.

Maybe. I guess the idea of two girls at once is pretty scary if you're gay. I don't know. How'd you react in a situation like that?

She is crazy and he is gay.

It's his own fault then, for dating a girl in the first place.

You’re elected leader of the world the same day aliens land on the earth and say they’re going to blow it up in two days. What do you do?

Easy. I throw myself a celebratory party and hire Chuck Norris to take care of the Alien situation. Obviously I'd take the credit though, so I'd be reelected.