Grant Bartlett-Diaz

Ha! Did they? I’d apologize but I happen to enjoy teasing you so I’m not sorry at all, I’m just sorry I couldn’t take advantage of getting you all hot and bothered. Ha! Okay, rude but fair. We sure do have our priorities straight. Or not straight, as it were ;)

Apparently.

Yes, very much so. I wasn't sure if you meant me to enjoy them as much as I did but it was difficult not to. I'm sorry as well. However, if you fancied more slutty cowboy fun but with full advantage of me being hot and bothered I would not object. Ha! Apologies for the rudeness, I'm just glad I was around when you got there. Ha! Nothing straight about me but my posture ;)

I didn’t consciously, but I sure don’t mind that you enjoyed them. And I can usually be talked into slutty cowboy fun pretty easily, just gotta get me a hat. I do like you hot and bothered ;) Ha! I’m glad you were too. Ha! Apparently not.

Ha! So just regular old slutty cowboy is what does it for you? Also, I can’t believe I sent you those without realizing how not straight that was. And good, it’s a very pressing priority for me too ;)

Ha! Apparently. Things got very heated on my end. Felt very much like you were teasing me. Ha! Yes, but that's pretty tame on the list of not realizing how not straight things were for you. Good I'm glad we agree on the importance ;)

Ha! Did they? I’d apologize but I happen to enjoy teasing you so I’m not sorry at all, I’m just sorry I couldn’t take advantage of getting you all hot and bothered. Ha! Okay, rude but fair. We sure do have our priorities straight. Or not straight, as it were ;)

Ha! I'm open to suggestions. Your attentiveness to British-American relations shows ;)

Ha! I rather enjoyed your slutty smoking hot cowboy pictures over the summer. Very happy to hear as it is a pressing priority ;)

Ha! So just regular old slutty cowboy is what does it for you? Also, I can’t believe I sent you those without realizing how not straight that was. And good, it’s a very pressing priority for me too ;)

Ha! Maybe a smoking hot cowboy something else. That one I do agree with. British and American relations are very important to me.

Ha! I'm open to suggestions. Your attentiveness to British-American relations shows ;)

Ha! I'm not terribly comfortable talking about mixing very British and very American things in the same text as talking about my dad. But agreed some very British and very American things do mix very enjoyably.

Ha! I guess I can see why you wouldn't be into a smoking hot cowboy Bond then. Your loss. Glad you agree about mixing some very British and very American things, though.

Yeah, she really is. Ha! Who doesn't like a cheeky prance in your best clothes? Oh good! At least the flirty vibe was there. Why were you and Cora...never mind. I would have to disagree. Strongly disagree. Unless of course this is one of those times where if I say I agree you would feel it necessary to prove me wrong by seducing me. In that case I would strongly agree with Cora, prove me wrong ;) I would say so, if you weren't I'd be practicing my German. Good! That really works out wonderfully for both of us. A burger franchise? You know for a country that's very proud of itself for waging war on the monarch America is weirdly obsessed with royalty.

[Image of Grant twerking in the slutty Han Solo costume, clearly drunk at some DC club]

Ha! So your dad already pushed the Bond boundary but you can’t imagine a cowboy bond? Personally I enjoy mixing very British and very American things ;)

I'm glad you're enjoying it. It's about time you had more friends even if you and Richard are more. They are a lot of fun. You were right, yes. And you're a good brother, I know you would have said something. Good, I'm glad. He's way too nice for that. I love you too, Herman.

Yeah, they're fun. It's weird having an actual friend group but I kind of like it. Good!

Oh wow, ok. Ah, that makes sense. I can see that. Bess and I are despite having Art and a whole bunch of other family. Ha! Exactly! Only one can prance around in the crown. Ha! That feels closer to what I remember. Though what I was trying to do was flirt and say I'd like to be lured to your bed again. Flirting is still a work in progress. But yes you could very easily lure me into your bed. You're luring me to Paris this weekend. I"m happy with aggressively shoving me into your bed too, just so we're clear. Ha! Is that a paper crown with burgers on it or a burger with a paper crown? I am too ;)

That makes sense though, because Bess is also awesome. Ha! Glad you agree that prancing is what people in crowns do. Oh. If it helps, I definitely got the flirty vibe, I just thought you were flirtily ribbing me. Cora also just told me she doesn't think I have it in me to seduce anyone, so that was kind of in my head already. But I'm luring you to Paris, huh? I like that. And I'm glad, because I equally enjoy luring and shoving you into my bed ;) Ha! It's neither! It's a burger franchise that's all over the U.S., and whenever you buy a burger you get a paper crown. Because in America, everyone can be a Burger King.

Ha! Yeah probably. Yes, I'm glad of it. So really no extended family at all? It really is no wonder you two are very close. I have no idea what a primo is. Ha! It's an image thing. Too many men prancing around in crowns you might confuse who the monarch is. I'm glad you like my hair. Ah, I thought you might be. Ha! I would like to see this luring of me to your bed ;) Sorry to disappoint. Perhaps I can hunt down one of those paper ones from a Christmas cracker. I'll do my best to make up for the lack of crown on our decadent weekend.

Nope, my parents were both only kids, so just the grandparents. A primo is a cousin. So yeah, guess it makes sense we're close. But I think we would have been close either way, May's awesome and she's always looked out for me. Ha! Right, of course, can't have any confusion there. Ha! Okay, fine, aggressively shoved you into my bed, is that better? I could totally lure you into my bed if I wanted to though. Cora is not right about my seduction skills. Ha! Oh man, if you wanna do the paper crown thing I'll have to tell you about Burger King. I'm looking forward to that ;)

I do like him. He's a lot of fun so I would only not hang out if he wasn't feeling comfortable about it. But I'm glad it doesn't seem like I'm stringing him along. It hasn't been you lately. Why haven't you told me about you and Richard. Or about you and guys? Thanks, Herman. I know I can and it means a lot.

Good, I like him too. It's fun hanging with him, Richard and Bess. Glad you're not uncomfortable with any of it. I figured you weren't or I would have said something, but I'm glad I was right about that. And nah, I don't think you are. You're welcome. You know I love you, Hydrangea.

Ha! I feel like that's the vibe with most extended families, not that I'd really know from experience. At least you have some fun ones though. Yeah, I wouldn't trade her for a million primos. Ha! Really? Who knew the royals were so stingy with the crowns. Good thing you have a good head of hair. Ha! Now that you mention it, I've obviously just been sleeping with you in the hopes you'd come romping into bed with a crown on, yeah. I've been wondering what's taking you so long, now I find out you don't even have a crown?? I clearly should have done more research before I lured you into my bed. But I've already started looking at clearing my schedule so I guess we might as well have our decadent weekend.

A year is hardly anything. Exactly! Crazy press. Damage control. It's just too much. He has asked me out. But it just doesn't feel like the right time for that. Maybe after the election. I think that's why all his invitations include all three of us now. Sorry for the spin out. I just don't want to string someone along.

Yeah, it'd be kind of insane to choose to deal with that. Not something I'd sign on for. Oh. I get that. And if you told him that and he's inviting all of us to stuff I don't think you're stringing him along by accepting his group invites and hanging out with us. It'd be weirder if you didn't hang out with us. And you don't have to be sorry, Daffodil. I know it's usually me talking to you about stuff and you're the big sister and everything, but you can talk to me about stuff too.

....Do you think I'm stringing him along? I'm not trying to. He's really nice and he is fun to hang out with. Always has the best suggestions on things to do. He was a good kisser too. I'm just not sure I'm into him like that. I mean he's your age and your boyfriend's friend's best friend. It just feels a bit tangled. Not ot mention the press would be insane. Plus he's not American, I doubt that would go over well for mom's campaign and I do not want my love life being brought into her campaign!

Oh shit maybe I shouldn't have said anything. He and Richard are a year older than me, actually, but I get it. I don't think Whiz and I are close enough that would stop you if you really wanted to date him though. The press would for sure go crazy. And dating a foreign aristocrat would probably be terrible for the campaign, which would mean lots of damage control. Good thing neither of us wants to do that then. I wouldn't say you're stringing him along, though idk if he's actually asked you out or just always tells you how radiant you look. But I'm sure he's aware of all the same stuff you're thinking about so I'm not sure how high his hopes are or anything. Which might be why he's just flirting a lot and not directly asking you out.