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@firstaidmedrecord
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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IDW2005 Ultra Magnus the kind of person to stop at a red light while cycling in London
Soundwave has a lot of children
Dalek
āThe forbidden item... the Hazard Trigger.ā
āYABEI!ā

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Especially not for £100 GBP.
Well, letās start with the good news. Weāre all alive.
Apart from some minor system damage, and a mysterious memory malfunction covering a good few hours, no-one was too injured. I guess whoever designed those escape pods did a good job. Either that or Iām too good a Doctor.
Blades says itās definitely the first. I love this team sometimes.
So, details. What we do know, is that weāre stuck on some planet somewhere. From the data we can scrape out of the computer memory, weāve checked the star maps, and weāre far beyond any factionās space. Itās an organic world, close to a yellow star, with no high radiation levels or damaging factors, so you may think weād be happy.
Oh boy, are you wrong.
Itās inhabited. Level 2- home to a sapient species with no advanced technology, or contact with the extra-cybertronian community. Also known as the type of place the Galactic Confederacy said weāre not meant to touch, on pain of mass-extermination of our species. And I doubt Prime would be happy to rescue us if it meant going against his treaty with them, so it looks like weāre stuck here until we can make out own way off world, hopefully secretly. This is one of those rare situations where weād have better luck if we were Decepticons.
Hot Spotās optimistic, as usual, saying we can get what we need. As a mechanical doctor, I can say weāre screwed. None of the parts here have the right structure or strength to be used in any of our technology. None of their computers are powerful enough to run what we need. Iāll type up my full report Streetwise gets back from his scouting mission.

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*bzzt*
Hello? Is anyone there? This is First Aid of Autobot vess-
*bzzzzzzzzzzzt*
-crashed on a planet. The ships in orbit, but weāve no way up. Teleporters and comms are down, and nothing that weāve seen looks good en-
*bzzt*
-ve assumed standard procedure on crashing on a Class 2 world. Streetwise made sure of it. Iāve had nicer alt-modes, but Iāll get used to it. Weāve salvaged the escape pods, so thereās no chance of them reaching local-
*bzzt*
-f Decepticon activity here. Iām not surprised- thereās nothing of value. Still not sure why we crashed, Iām not even going to list the theories that weāve got. Blades is betting twenty creds that-
*bzzzt*
-ack hole powered by Megatronās spark!
Anyway, Iām rambling. Guess I donāt want to be stuck here. Contact us if you recieve this. Iām broadcasting on all Autobot frequencies, and Wheeljackās own special wavelength, so if youāre hearing this, inventor-man, please tell someone.
This is- *bzzt* -signing off.
So, I suppose I should tell you a bit about my fellow crew members, so you understand when I start talking about them and how they've gotten us all killed again. Trust me, it's probably going to happen some day, and we won't be able to escape.Ā
So first is Hot Spot. He's in charge of our little team, and he's as heroic as they come. Technically a firefighter by training, he's now just as likely to start one as to put one out. And trust me, he's charismatic. I once saw him simply talk some cons into surrender. And then, in an even more surprising feat, he made Blades happy that they went out without a fight.
Ah, Blades. Him and me, we don't get along that well. We're friends, trust me, but sometimes he gets a bit violent. And by a bit, I mean a lot. Usually with his rotor blades. I once cut myself on one while trying to repair his arm, and man, did it hurt! He found it hilarious, because that's just how he is. You'd think, because he can fly, that he'd prefer to stay in the air, and shoot all the consĀ down. But no. He revels in the sensation of their energon spaying across his paintjob. He's pretty disgusting sometimes.
Streetwise would probably agree with me. He's a much calmer bot than the rest of us, usually content with flying around the shuttle when we're in space. On the ground is the same- calmly loading up his rifle to strike dead in the optics of his target. I heard a rumour once that he took out Soundwave once with a single shot from 5 mechanometres away. Never asked him about it, but I can see it being true. The only times I've seen him lose his cool is when he's dealing with Vortex, one of the Combaticons. I think they have some history, but I'd have to look it up to be sure. And he's probably locked his record.
The final one of us here is Rook, and he's a bit of a mystery. He's newer than the rest of us; fresh out of the academy, with an accent that none of us can place. I swear it's East Iaconian, but Blades thinks it's Lower Tarn. He's a big fella, I think is the best wayĀ to put it. Definitely dedicated to the mission, don't get me wrong, but he seemsĀ jollier than he rest of us. A lot more willing to crack jokes and the like. I'd say it's because he hasn't seen as much as we have, but he's already been through some rough stuff. Maybe he just wants to be liked.Ā
So yeah, here's some context, so you'll understand who I'm whining about next time I mention someone's name. We're just approaching the Nintendu LXIV system, so expect some tales soon!
Hi!
Hi all! Wheeljack helped me set up this blog... thingy last time we met, and I figure its time to use it!
So, Iām First Aid, medical officer on this little shuttle craft of ours, and this is going to be a record of the Great War. Well, that and whatever issues we get ourselves into. I swear, our luck must be so bad...
Anyway, enjoy!