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@yourbloodthirstykitten

“i’m an eldest daughter” well i have a slurpee. Bitcchhh

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

Hawaiian shirt buttoned to the top? Dorky dad on vacation. One or two buttons undone? Just a chill guy. But three or more buttons...? Whore.

boss dropped out of the zoom meeting cause his cat has learned how to unplug the desktop computer when he’s hungry

Direct action.

GIRL you are GLOWING! GIRL you are RADIOACTIVE! GIRL it's FATAL!

When your bestie works in the wristwatch factory

wait hold on i gotta look something up

what the fuck

I had a dream that Pepsi released a candy called “Pepsi Particles” that were caviar sized, spherical pepsi logos that fizzed in your mouth. The packaging was a blue and silver pouch with a pepsi logo surrounded with rings like an atom, there were crystal pepsi and pepsi blue flavors as well. I can’t stop thinking about them.

We need him in these trying tines

oh you're touch starved? here eat up *fucking punches you*

this post had tumblr in a chokehold in 2013

A man is most dangerous at two points in his life; when he is young and does not know better, and again when he grows old and has nothing left to lose.