probably about time for an intro post, yeah? yeah.
my nameās cody, iām 27, and queer in more ways than two. despite my alleged grumpiness, i am very approachable. dm me a cool animal fact or something. iāll send you one back.
this space is not safe for neil gaiman and believes kate beckinsale. iām not exactly quiet about it. (search on my blog if you want to know what that looks like). if youāre sensitive to this content, trust that iāll always tag with #fuck neil gaiman and/or #fuck michael sheen as well as other more specific trigger warnings when they apply. feel free to use your filters.
feeling generous? help me afford groceries on ko-fi! iām offering a few different things on there, but any tip is majorly appreciated.
check out my ao3 if youāre inclined. hereās whatās on there:
A Soft Touch (rated E, 666)
post s1, pwp. edging + hand kink + crowley being a pathetic mess + aziraphale being very in love with him
Paired (rated G, 3.5k)
post s1, aziraphale and crowley go to restaurant in italy and confess their feelings over wine. a prompt fic written with @sunrisesinthesuburbs for the birds of a feather project.
Swear Itās Platonic (rated E, WIP)
friends with benefits au. crowley and aziraphale have been best friends for six years, and three months ago they started hooking up. the pining while fucking fic.
The Bug In My Kitchen Thinks We Should Date (rated T, 12k)
bakery au. easily flustered crowley meets flirty aziraphaleāgay panic ensues. fluff with an even fluffier ending. written with @sunrisesinthesuburbs.
Resilience of the Heart (rated G, 6.2k)
post s3, south downs cottage. crowley plans an anniversary dinner, aziraphale plans a holiday surprise. featuring a (fluffy) 14th century flashback scene.
The Point (rated G, 5.8k)
post s3, established relationship. crowley and aziraphale discover the joys (and woes, mostly woes) of camping. extremely fluffy.
Radar Angel (rated E, 77k WIP)
hurt/comfort storm chasers au. autistic aziraphale/asexual crowley, enemies (or more accurately, idiots) to lovers.
To The Ocean (rated E, 28k)
hurt/comfort beach au. aziraphale is depressed on vacation, crowley helps with that. aziraphale learns how to help himself, too. porn with feelings.
Youāre Supposed To Cry (rated T, 1k)
hurt/comfort human au. disabled crowley/caring aziraphale. do your doctors ever make you want to scream? read this.
Beach Day (rated G, 3.5k)
my one and only she-ra fic! canon compliant, mostly fluff with some catra typical angst. the super pal trio runs into adora during a mission. originally a one shot (and can be read as a standalone) but there is now a part 2 written by my insanely talented best friend.
Is This Seat Taken? (rated E, 9k)
coffee shop au, pwp. gentle dom aziraphale/brat crowley, strangers to enemies to lovers. if you like aziraphale being a little bitchy this one is for you.
Wherever You Are, Iāll Come To You (rated T, 50k)
fluffy (with a small dose of hurt/comfort) high school au. non-binary crowley/bamf aziraphale. protective 4 protective. very very cute, these two. my first fic!
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this is sort of how i pictured this line when i first read it, and now i realize this is exactly how Crow would describe his experience; riddled with inconsistency and exaggeration. (Az is not buying it hahah)
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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warās description in the book is so consistently ridiculous that i have to laugh
āShe licked a spatter of bloodāsomeone elseāsāfrom the back of her hand with a scarlet, cat-like tongue. Then she smiled. And she walked out of the bar, her heels clicking on the tiles.ā
like is that. is that what straight men find sexy. thereās some other line in the same scene about how sheās wearing silken hose, and really, it must be that iād blissfully forgotten what weird standards of attractiveness cishet men tend to have for women, but ohhh my god. war couldāve been so fucking cool. why did she have to be sexy at all?? so many other directions that couldāve gone. and why was war the one woman? i have so many questions and none of them have good answers
list of good things because it is impossible that EVERYTHING is going to shit right now:
my expertly designed and extremely aesthetically pleasing bedroom and bathroom (space themed, multiple lighting and speaker options)
driving with the music at full volume, since i can do the driving thing a bit more lately. driving in general is very much at the top of this list
major steals at the plant store like iām talking 50% off
cool clothes
salmon cooked with fresh herbs and garlic, beurre monte on top
and also you
most of this list consists of you. cooking for you and coming up with date plans and making you laugh. being loved by you. sort of a profound experience if iām being honest. itās not even that you love me like itās breathing, you love me like itās drinking a cup of tea (earl grey, two sugars and a dash of coconut milk), like itās an indulgence, like this love is something to savor and cherish. nothing so commonplace as breathing, but still simple, still easy. both a comfort and a privilege. you once wrote: āi donāt love you the way a man loves a woman, i love you the way god was moved to create the world. not to be had, but to beheld.ā i feel that every single day, just so you know.
you, again. itās worth putting on there twice. things canāt be so bad if i have you.
@soft-heart-ed since you have insisted that i tag you from now on
Seeing Miles and Aziraphale cry is the saddest thing they make me feel. If Miles and Aziraphale had met in a series with alternative storylines, they would have been great friends
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Iāll go along with just about anything in fanfic but I think a lot of writers forget that Aziraphale doesnāt really like humans themselves all that much. He pretends to of course, heās got angelic appearances to keep up, but everytime he interacts with humans itās with a fake smile and a āplease go away expressionā. He doesnāt want to go to the pub and risk acquaintances trying to talk to him. Itās not out of friendship that he forgives Maggieās rent, he just wants her to shut up so he can go listen to his records. He loves humanity and the things they create but humans themselves? Not so much
Things Aziraphale loves and will fight to the death to protect:
Humanity as a species
Individual humans' lives
Humans' happiness
Humans' creative works
Humans' tiny little toesie-woesies
Crowley
Things Aziraphale stressfully tolerates:
Interacting with a human
Interacting with a demon who isn't Crowley
Interacting with an angel
Things Aziraphale yearns for in theory but are bad in practice:
Interacting with God
Aziraphale has made one (1) friend and his social needs seem fully met.
That being said, you can make up whatever headcanon you want about all his teachers -- Monsieur Rossignal for French, Professor Hoffman for prestidigitation, the discreet gentleman's club for the gavotte... and, of course, all the authors of the books of prophecy who gave him signed copies. Those relationships could have been purely monetary, or there could have been actual friendships involved. We don't see Aziraphale being actual friends with any humans, but it isn't impossible that he was in the past. It could even vary by decade, depending on how much Crowley is around. It's hard to say.
In terms of my own headcanon, I agree. Aziraphale is fiercely protective of humans and humanity, and he loves being around them and enjoying the things they make, but he'd be fine with that involving minimal direct social interaction.
