it had all happened faster than she could register ; there were shots and she felt an incredible amount of pain in her abdomen. then she was dreaming of being home and she was having dinner with allie and their parents before sheâs looking down and blood was pouring from wounds in her stomach.Â
she could hear faint voices and she tried to open her eyes, she even tried to move, but people were holding her down. maybe they werenât. she didnât know, but she did feel a lot of pain. the last time she felt this was after her surgery - she couldnât leave the hospital for weeks. as soon as she could open her eyes, though, she was trying to fight the lethargy off. the room was stark white and it was too quiet - all she knows is this was actually the hospital. when she looks around, she sees her sister isnât there. why wasnât allie there?
thereâs a tube in her mouth and she starts getting anxious. turning her head, she frowns when she sees harry sat there, sleeping. what was he doing there? she makes noise by trying to hit the side of the bed, startling him awake. thatâs when she sees kelly peek her head in and her eyes widen before sheâs shouting for gordie. cassandra doesnât know whatâs happening, but she shouldnât be alive. the tube is being removed from her throat and kelly was giving her a little water.Â
once she found the ability to speak, she narrows her gaze in harryâs direction, âwhat are you doing here?â kelly frowns and tells her harry and gordie found her. âharry got there first. he forgot something in the hall and you wereâŚâ the younger female gets a bit distressed and has to walk out of the room. cassandra keeps watching harry, though. âoh, so you wanted me to survive?â the blonde rasps. âor did gordie showing up force you to pretend to play the knight in shining armour? maybe youâre the one that shot me because i sure as hell donât remember who did it.â // @fircytragcdy - HARRY.
harry had never really felt like his words had any power. not real power. sure, the guys listened to him and they did things that he said, but it was stupid things. not things like this. and, usually, it was because he had campbell pushing him, telling him to make the guys do those things. these words had been all his own and they were disgustingly misguided and he hated himself for it. for all of it. he had been there with her since he found her. allie had tried to argue it, but kelly had come to his rescue. he knew he was to blame for this and that was as bad as pulling the trigger himself. he needed to make sure she came through the other side on this one. she had to survive so that he could make amends, fix what he had caused. somehow. sleep had finally come to him, but it was short-lived. by cassandra. waking up. jesus.Â
he just watches as gordie and kelly bring her to ease, removing the tube from her throat and giving her a little water. he feels as helpless as he did when he had found her. though, then, he had made sure he did everything he could to save her. getting gordie was the best he could do, but it was enough, seemingly. why did he think this was a good idea? how did he think she was going to see him as anything but the asshole he always was? oh, right. because he always was an asshole. to her. to everyone. how could he pretend he was anything but? except, apparently, in this case. the last thing he wanted was for cassandra to actually die. his words that night had been out of place, but there was no excuse for them. she was shot because of him. there was no other explanation for it. for why she was lying in that hospital bed and he felt so guilty that it felt like he was sitting on a chair made of glass.Â
when kelly leaves, harry rubs his hand over his face and shakes his head. âno. cassandra..â harry was many things, but a murderer was not one of them. âof course i wanted you to survive. i know we have our.. differences, but you canât actually believe i would do this. i donât want you dead.â his words that night may have suggested otherwise, but harry regretted them the minute he found her on the floor. he can still picture the blood covering the sidewalk, her body lifeless and still. he still has no idea how he held it all together. until, of course, later that night, when he cried into kellyâs stomach, begging her to make sure that cassandra lived. without telling her why he was so desperate for somebody that he despised to live through a murder attempt. kelly already had reason to hate him, so why would he make that worse? âit wasnât me. cassandra, we have our differences. but murder? no. no. i would never.. seeing you that night.. i canât stop picturing it and i remember just feeling so helpless. and that.. that if you died, it would be all because of me. and this place needs you. i might not fucking like it, but i realised that the morning after. when everyone looked so lost without you. but.. but allie stepped up, you know. not.. she didnât want to. they made her. but sheâs doing okay. better than anyone else could have done.â he pauses, taking a moment to collect himself and he clears his throat. âbetter than i could have done.â