Find Out Something

Let me check my email/facebook account over and over again...has so-and-so emailed/facebooked me yet? No, so-and-so has not emailed/facebooked you yet, because so-and-so actually doesn't give a crap about you. Or because so-and-so actually has a life - something you're in dire need of. And when I say 'you', of course I am talking about myself.

In my recent dilemma with 'disengaging from life', I find that technology is the worst thing that could happen to me. My stress and 'depression' are fueled by the things I once used to make my life better...mainly everything on the internet (to be fair, I think that the new obsession with texting is a culprit here as well). By relying on facebook and email (and texting rather than actually speaking out loud and hearing someone), I become too immobile, too dependent, too obsessed, too irrational, too bored and too boring.

I don't want to go too much into the issues I have with the way I 'communicate' with people these days, but I will anyway. Whatever happened to good old actually talking on the phone? I know people are busy in life but geez...Too much is misconstrued by text messaging, where tone is absent. And using facebook/email as the main source of 'communication' is just another way of saying - I'm just too busy/don't care enough about you to actually talk to you like a real live human being who has feelings and emotions and who wants to be valued as such...

Anyway, I digress... In order to reengage myself with life, I feel the need to break my dependency on (ok I will admit it - my addiction to) the internet. So-and-so hadn't messaged you when you checked 5 minutes ago and so-and-so probably won't message you in the next 5 minutes either. Breaking that dependency (addiction) is not as easy as it seems for me. I have just read about this app which can give you your freedom when you can't take it for yourself.

My co-worker shaun explained it well. It takes a lot for me to trust someone and very little for that trust to be broken. A lot of friendships/relationships have gone by the wayside for me because I put a lot of value into trust. Or maybe my expectations are just too high.

Either way, this is lifting my mood like incredible right now!! 

http://www.ofmontreal.net/discography/hissing-fauna-are-you-the-destroyer/

friend: you can't just judge someone from what music they like

I am going to quit the online dating world. I am tired of texting and chatting and messaging and never actually experiencing anything 'real'. Ok...that's not completely true. I've had some very nice and some very bad 'real' experiences. I just want to pursue the real things (preferably good ones) and leave the fake ones behind.

I joined the online dating thingy to get something that would make me feel good - that would be a much needed romantic bonus to my already awesome life, but the majority of the encounters I have had have only made me feel crap about myself, so objectified. At this point, I feel so messed up from it all that I feel like I have lost a lot of myself in the process. (Could be all the stress I am going through right now, but this doesn't help.)

quoting the article:

‎"He cringed every time he mentioned the Endangered Species Act and blamed it for hurting business. Santorum told the story of how the Endangered Species Act is preventing the harvesting of a forest with profitable wood in his home state. “We have the Endangered Species Act, which has prevented us from timbering all sorts of acreage there,” he said. “It’s bankrupted the school district and the like because of the government’s inability to allow for us to care for our resources. A forest in my opinion is like a garden and you’ve got to care for it. If you don’t care for it, you leave it to nature and nature will do what it does: boom and bust.” "