Me&Life

Uncertain. Confusion. Stress. Escape. Sleep... these all are the things that are on loop these days, how do i come out of it. It it like another burn out? Dealing with this is becoming tough. What should I do?

Miserable or not, it’s easier to stick with what’s familiar. Do you notice that, too? How all of us just want to get through life as quickly and as easily as possible? And even though we know that without risk there’s no reward, we’re still so scared to chance it? I learned a long time ago that you don’t need to reveal everything inside of you to the people around you. They like to judge, and I’m happier when they don’t. Some things stay hidden. Reap, reap, reap, you don’t even know, All you did suffer is what you did sow! Alone, Empty, Fraud, Shame, Fear, Close your eyes. There’s nothing to see out here. We’re all ugly, Ryen. The only difference is, some hide it and some wear it. It gets better, you are important, and you can't be replaced. Hang on. You'll find you're tribe. You don’t have to be afraid or embarrassed. No one does you better than you. You can’t be replaced. Not everyone will see that, but only you need to.” Life is fifty wrong turns down a bumpy road. All you can hope is that you end up somewhere nice.” The world isn’t always what’s right in front of you, you know? It’s below, it’s above, it’s out there somewhere. Every burn of every light inside every house I see when I look down from the rooftop has a story. Sometimes we just need to change our perspective. Speak your mind, and you give others permission to do the same.

“Life is hard, honey. Everyone finds a way.” “You’re not living if you’re not regretting.” “Sometimes you fall off prematurely. Sometimes you get so damaged by other pieces of luggage falling on your head that you don’t really function anymore. Sometimes you get lost or forgotten and go around forever and ever.” MADELINE’S DICTIONARY o•cean (ˈōSHən) . The endless part of yourself you never knew but always suspected was there. “Maybe growing up means disappointing the people we love.” My heart is too bruised and I want to keep the pain as a reminder. I don’t want sunlight on it. I don’t want it to heal. Because if it does, I might be tempted to use it again.

I didn’t know how to be his friend. I didn’t know how to be anybody’s friend. “Well, not all relationships are based on like.” I AM UNKNOWABLE The problem with trying hard not to think about something was that you thought about it even more. I sometimes think that I don’t let myself know what I’m really thinking about. That doesn’t make much sense but it makes sense to me. I have this idea that the reason we have dreams is that we’re thinking about things that we don’t know we’re thinking about—and those things, well, they sneak out of us in our dreams. Maybe we’re like tires with too much air in them. The air has to leak out. That’s what dreams are. Maybe the dream came from a memory. Dreams don’t come from nowhere. That’s a fact. I think maybe I want to study dreams I think I should get a life. Parents are rule givers. Maybe they gave us too many rules, That was my life, all that dead skin. That list just about covered all my life. Maybe my life isn’t all that interesting but at least I’m busy. Busy doesn’t mean happy. I know that. But at least I’m not bored. Being bored is the worst. if I was going to be his friend, I would just have to learn to be okay with it. And, because he was in Chicago and I was in El Paso, it was easy to be okay with it. I think I was trying to make my life uncomplicated because everything inside me felt so confusing. My life was still someone else’s idea. Maybe everyone loves differently. Maybe that’s all that matters.” Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer morning could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder. I wondered if all boys had that darkness inside them. Yes. Maybe Maybe dogs were one of the secrets of the universe. I smiled at him. “You know what the worst thing about adults is?” “No.” “They’re not always adults. But that’s what I like about them.” I wanted to tell them that he had changed my life and that I would never be the same, not ever. And that somehow it felt like it was Dante who had saved my life and not the other way around. I wanted to tell them that he was the first human being aside from my mother who had ever made me want to talk about the things that scared me. I wanted to tell them so many things and yet I didn’t have the words. So I just stupidly repeated myself. “Dante’s my friend.” Sometimes, you do things and you do them not because you’re thinking but because you’re feeling. Because you’re feeling too much. And you can’t always control the things you do when you’re feeling too much. Maybe the difference between being a boy and being a man is that boys couldn’t control the awful things they sometimes felt. I’m sorry. It’s like I said, Ari, we don’t always do the right things, you know? We don’t always say the right things. Sometimes, it seems like it just hurts too much to look at something. So you don’t. You just don’t look. But it doesn’t go away, Ari.” I knew that a part of him would never be the same. They cracked more than his ribs. A sign that you had been hurt. A sign that you had healed. Had I been hurt? Had I healed? Maybe we just lived between hurting and healing.

I’m not a cynic. I am a realist. It’s better to see life as it is, not as you wish it to be. Things don’t happen for a reason. They just happen. “Oh well. Whatever. Nevermind.” Instead of being ruled by logic, we are ruled by emotions. The world would be a happier place if the opposite were true. People spend their whole lives looking for love. Poems and songs and entire novels are written about it. But how can you trust something that can end as suddenly as it begins? They’re not talking about the real heart, the one that only needs healthy foods and aerobic exercise. But the poetic heart is not to be trusted. It is fickle and will lead you astray. It will tell you that all you need is love and dreams. It will say nothing about food and water and shelter and money. love is just chemicals and coincidence. Warsan Shire. You can’t make a home out of human beings We tell ourselves there are reasons for the things that happen, but we’re just telling ourselves stories. We make them up. They don’t mean anything. Natasha is different. She believes in determinism—cause and effect. One action leads to another leads to another. Your actions determine your fate. Sometimes your world shakes so hard, it’s difficult to imagine that everyone else isn’t feeling it too. We think we want all the time in the world with the people we love, but maybe what we need is the opposite. Just a finite amount of time, so we still think the other person is interesting. A simple search for connection. To see. To be seen. The trouble with getting your hopes too far up is: it’s a long way down. Am I making a mistake? Maybe. But it’s mine to make.

punk 57

The art of doing one thing at a time also has the same concept. Out of million things you have in your mind, concentrate on that one thing and one thing alone, complete it and then move forward. Its a like a small milestone that you have achieved. These milestones matter and will push you forward to achieve bigger milestone. Also, in this process clarity of thought improves gradually.

Can we feel back again?

While planning an event in your University, always have an agenda ready 4 months before the event.