God Dang It, Dale

the only thing fiore did was laugh in return. he has a tendency to think he’s right about everything, so even though he doesn’t voice it, his smile says it all  –  i’m right, you’re wrong. “love, love, love being called a pretty boy.” he told the other, again, not listening to the rest of his sentence minus the bit where he complimented him. he’s a lot to deal with, but he likes to tell himself that being hot makes up for his over the top attitude. he watches as the other closes his door once more, probably a good idea, but he doesn’t say anything in regards to that. “mr. gatsby wishes.” he replies, playfully poking his side and giggling. he sloppily enters the code that unlocks his house, to which the door beeps then opens up. once they’re both inside, he shuts the door behind them and walks past the pristine decorations an interior designer had picked out for him and his cousin. fiore genuinely doesn’t think he has it in him to climb the stairs, so he settles for the elevator, surprisingly quiet on the way up, before he has to break the peace and open his big, fat mouth. “i think you like when i make you mad.” he tells the other, shooting him his usual charming smirk. that is, until the doors slide open and he grabs a hold of the other’s wrist, using it for support, but also to guide him towards his room. “this is my room,” though really, it’s big enough to be someone’s whole ass house, “now,” he slides off his shoes, before he removes his shirt, then undoes his belt and takes off his jeans, placing his clothes on top of a plush chair, so now he’s really only in his briefs, “are you gonna sing me to sleep and tell me how cute i am?” he’s so, so tired, but then it hits him. “oh my god… i need to do my night care routine. stay here.” he tells him, making his way towards his bathroom to not only remove his eye make up, but to do the rest of his routine. the skincare, brushing his teeth, the whole ordeal. truthfully, fiore doesn’t care how tired or drunk he is  –  he can never skip his night care routine. after about an hour ( and that’s rushing it ), he finally comes out of the bathroom, somehow, looking even better than how he looked when he walked into it. he tiredly smirks at him. “i knew you would still be here… whatever your name is.”

Dale shook his head, trying not to let all the laughter get to him. At the end of the day Fiore would just be another guy who he’d flirt with for five minutes, then go out of his way to never speak to again. Nothing would come of this, and that was probably for the better, because he was ready to pull all of his own hair out. “You know it ain’t a compliment, right? Please tell me you know that.” Dale told him, though keeping his tone light and playful for a moment... teasing.  As they exited the car, Dale found himself looking up at the building and whistling. Yeah, this was a house he could never dream of being able to afford. It was nice. “So rich parents, or are you some kind of foreign movie star?” Dale questioned while the guy got the door to beep at them. This was some sci-fi shit. There was even an elevator inside the house. Dale kept his thoughts to himself before Fiore could call him trailer trash again. “I think you like to think that, because you can’t imagine actually being disliked.” Dale sneered back at him. Though when the other grabbed him and began guiding him to his room, Dale found himself smiling. Damn it. This was worse with internally quarreling with his own sexuality, there was nothing wrong with that. No, this was actually liking a complete jackass. “This room is literally bigger than my apartment.” Dale stated as they walked inside, knowing that was almost definitely the truth. However when the other man started undressing himself Dale swallowed. “Oh wow you are literally taking your clothes off.” He shook his head, trying not to stare.  “I ain’t singing you shit. Can’t you just get in your bed so I can leave.” He sighed before the man mentioned his night time routine. “Good lord!” Dale threw his hands in the air. “You’re home, you’re undressed, your bed is right here! What else could you possibly fucking need to do!” He exclaimed. However as the boy walked off to his bathroom that was IN HIS BEDROOM Dale found himself obediently taking a seat. He took a few minutes to play on his phone, and wait, and try to order a cab, and wait, and realize he didn’t have enough money to get a cab so he texted his brother, and waited... and waited. It wasn’t before long he started dozing off, and was jolted awake when the other man came out of the bathroom. “What?” He yawned. “Dale, it’s Dale.” He blinked his eyes again. “And I’m only here cuz I need an Uber to get back to my car.” 

Dale let his eyes wander over to the other man’s smile again, nearly losing sight of the road when he did so, and quickly looked back. God, this really was going to kill him, wasn’t it? “How much fancy shit has to be in a basic shampoo for it to be good and cost that much money. I promise you, I spent most my life washing my hair with a bar of soap and it looks fine to me. I know you had your eye on it.” That was a hell of a gamble, but he couldn’t imagine he was all that wrong.  He let a laugh escape him as Fiore once again denied that there were people out there who probably didn’t think he was beautiful. “Boy, have you never been humbled in your life? Ever? Please, tell me what it’s like to walk through the world that up your own ass.” Dale grunted, unsure why he was bothering to get frustrated anymore, and sure this guy was going to make some remark about how excellent his ass was as well. “I don’t have heart eyes for you, I just don’t wanna see anybody get hurt.” Dale told him, shaking his head. “And now I get to drive a Bentley and it would be fun if there weren’t some uppity pretty boy in the passenger seat.” He decided to ignore the last remark, only watching the driveway as he pulled up and parked. He was waiting to hear an apartment number before the guy’s response turned straight to laugher. Dale raised an eyebrow as he looked over, shaking his head. “This whole thing is your house? Jesus Christ, alright Mr. Gatsby, let’s get you inside.” Dale huffed, not even wanting to think about the gross amount of wealth this guy probably had, while he was going to return home to sharing his brother’s couch with a fully grown doberman. He got out, walking around to the other side of the car and pausing to shut Fiore’s door a second time, simply because he didn’t look like he did it right. He put an arm around the brunette, sighing as he asked him to tuck him into bed. “I will walk you to your bed because I am afraid you’re going to wipe out. Then I am going home, because you make me mad, and I am tired.” Dale told him. “Unlock your damn door and lets go.” 

If it were possible to die from putting one’s foot in their own mouth, Dale was surely about to meet his end. How was it possible to keep accidentally flirting with a guy who made him so angry? How was it possible to be so agitated with somebody and yet want to keep engaging so badly. He was cute, and something about all the banter was proving to be kind of fun. “You’re just flirtin cuz you’re drunk.” Dale told him, keeping his eyes fixed as he could on the road. Dale let out a dissatisfied grunt, knowing he should have realized by now he couldnt say a word about this man’s appearance without hearing a series of vanity laced comments. “Guarantee you that you could accomplish the same nice hair just as easy with products from the drug store.” Dale shook his head, sure that this guy probably just woke up beautiful every day and didn’t even have to do anything for it. One could almost mistake the moment between them, the few seconds where not an insult was slung, was something sweet. If a moment could have spanned for an evening, it would have even been nice. However as soon as it had come up, it was lost to more teasing and taunting. “I don’t, I know that must be shocking for you to hear but some people out there just don’t want to fuck you.” None of those people were him, but that was besides the point. “Oh my God, then find one of them to drive you home next time. Cuz it looks to me, like you’re a sloppy drunk, you’re probably no fun to party with, and I was the one guy willing to give you a ride.” Dale explained to him, figuring it’d be a bitch to go pick up his own car later. “I’m difficult? Me? I’m the difficult one here?” He questioned, looking the other man over. When he was told to turn he found himself facing the gate of a lovely building. Dale yawned as he pulled up, shaking his head as he wondered if moving away would be enough to promise he’d never see Fiore again. “Wow, big building.” Dale muttered. “Trust me.” He stated as he began to exit the vehicle. “You can’t drive me much crazier.” He stated. “Alright, what’s your apartment number? I’m puttin you in bed so I can go home.” 

Dale found his cheeks turning red as he rushed his eyes back to the road. He could not possibly be flirting with this guy, not this guy. He was agitating, and he’d probably just think that he was dirty and sloppy and grossly inexperienced anyway. He needed to just focus on the road, just get this asshole home. “You aren’t as good looking as you like to think you are. Like honestly, you’re hot, then you start talkin’.” Dale shook his head. “If you pay more than five dollars for shampoo, you’re gettin’ scammed.” He ran a hand through his hair awkwardly, figuring it felt just fine to him, nothing was wrong with his hair. He took another long breath as Fiore continued to just play away from anything he said. He was getting tired, and this seemed to be endless. “You know, there’s something to be said for people who like talkin’ just to hear themselves talk.” Dale told him, looking back to the road again. However as Fiore began to describe his favorite colors, the young man couldn’t help but smile a bit, watching the streetlights passing by. “I like yellow too.” He stated honestly. “Just makes me think of light, it’s nice.” He shrugged, figuring he didn’t have some big fancy story about Italy, and he’d barely ever been to the ocean, but he could share some. “I do not- I don’t. I don’t want to fuck you.” Dale stammered, though his tone was far from convincing, just shocked at best. “God, you really are that full of yourself, is that it? You just wanna fuck yourself that badly?” He accused, wanting now just to get out of the car. Maybe he could simply just... leave. No, no the guy was too drunk. However when he stated playing music, Dale wanted to protest until he realized it might shut the man up a few minutes. That was until he began singing... in Italian. Dale kept quiet a few long minutes, trying to navigate just through the last few moments of the trip, despite the way his eyes kept drifting over to the other man, long moments that he’d lose focus, wondering how someone so beautiful could be just so horrible. Then again... he couldn’t be that horrible right now. That was until he began speaking again. “No, no I will not carry you. I’m makin sure you get in your bed alive, and then I’m leaving.” He stated frustratedly. “No more nonsense. You driven me crazy enough tonight.” 

Dale let out a playful groan as Fiore continued to poke at him, shaking his head and looking at him for a brief moment. He was a good looking guy, that was an objective fact, but the man was so beyond insufferable. The kind of person who seemed like he’d complain about too much spit in a kiss. “You know, you’d be good lookin’ if you didn’t have the personality of one of them twenty-dollar shampoo bottles.” Dale sneered, looking back to the road, not wanting to stare for too long. “You know what, maybe you do. In one of them fancy display cases. I can see it now. World’s Biggest Douchebag.” He spoke in a near mesmerized tone, waving a hand for dramatic effect. “You got a fucking car to match your eyes, do you hear yourself? Tell me, do you even like the color? What is your favorite color?” Dale asked him, genuinely wanting to know if this guy was genuinely that obsessed with his own looks. “Oh you had such a long day.” He repeated in the same tone he would when his dog would sigh heavily. “What’d you do? Wake up and spend twelve hours on your hair? Go to a party and get smashed? How hard.” He teased.  “Oh six pillows, how ridiculous of me.” Dale exclaimed. “How do you sleep with six pillows? How? How are you not afraid to have that many around, because if I saw you with an extra pillow laying around, I’d just have to smother you. How are you not afraid someone’s gonna kill you?” Dale asked him. “Are you for serious? You have actual fucking butlers.” He scoffed, shaking his head. “What could possibly be so hard to do around your house that you have to shell out hundreds of dollars a week to pay a staff?” Dale asked him. “No, we ain’t. Don’t start that or I will have to mug you.” 

“What was that?” Dale asked him, raising an eyebrow. God it was almost like he wanted to get dropped. He should do it, it would be so easy, it would be so funny, but he holds on. “Hooked? I don’t think you get what’s goin’ on here, you are the one stuck on me. You are the one who’s been all over me.” Dale told him, a bit more playful in his tone. However, the jokes were done when his car was insulted again. “You look like you belong in a junkyard.” Dale told him in a mocking tone, shaking his head. “I think you can afford a better car than I can, that don’t mean you know anything better.” Dale told him, shaking his head. Still he couldn’t help but whistle as he looked over Fiore’s car, sure he wouldn’t get to drive something like this again for a long, long, time. “Relax, moneybags, I’m not about to smoke in your Bentley.” He stated, rolling his eyes. As much as he’d love to fuck up a rich boy’s car, he wasn’t about to be a part of a rich boy’s lawsuit. “Isadora, well damn, she’s something else.” He stated. “You seriously got a car to match your eyes?” He questioned. “Seems silly to me.” He added, shaking his head, nearly jumping as the car started straight up speaking italian. “Holy shit.” Dale muttered quietly, starting to hit the road, very shocked by just how smooth she drove. “Aw, you had a long day?” Dale asked mockingly. “I ought to strangle you with your silk sheets. I bet you got a goose feather pillow too? Three butlers to take off your shoes?” 

Nova was the sort of good girl who knew exactly how she was seen. The thing was, she wasn’t as good as she appeared to be. Oh, sure, she was a goody two shoes but she was not a prude. At least not when it came to her personal life. Was she a virgin? Maybe so. Did that mean absolutely anything when it involved her sexual fantasies? Absolutely not. As of right now, she just happened to be more involved in living vicariously through the novel in her hands than going out and finding someone to make her dreams come true - so to speak. Not to mention, it was hard to find anyone, especially in Dayton, who wasn’t terrified that she was one of those people who would be destroyed after she had sex for the first time. Nova was honest about her lack of experience and people shied away from it so far. “Right?!” The girl practically squealed, “A nun! I mean, religious or not, that’s pretty mortifying. And what can you do?! Its not like you can then go to church and beg for forgiveness! You had sex IN the church! You’re so in trouble.” Her cheeks were aflame and she took a long sip of her gin and tonic. This one was made with elderflower and the girl couldn’t get enough. “I’m Nova.” She said, holding out her hand as if it were perfectly normal to introduce yourself to a person after they found out you were reading porn.

“I was always like real scared of nuns. Again, not Catholic, never was. I should’ve been scared of like the fire and brimstone preachers but no, nuns. Nuns fuckin’ terrify me.” Dale told the woman playfully, figuring that she had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn’t like he knew anyone who’d never once read something embarrassing or otherwise made themselves out to be a fool out in public. “Okay I get that some people are... into that, but like the church I grew up in. Least sexy place in the universe, especially when I’m-” gay. Just say gay. “I would NEVER in a church.” Dale shook his head. “Imagine if you were like a preacher, and you didn’t know, and then some fool comes in beggin’ for forgiveness for... that.” He laughed playfully. When she extended a hand to him he shook his head. “Nice to meet you, Nova.” He told her, shaking his head. “My name’s Dale.” He added. “So is this a good place to read smut, or should I keep doin’ that at home?” 

He couldn’t help but find it amusing, the man having a blatant conniption fit. Still, Milo did his best to hide his amusement. He listened to him for a minute, making sure he could keep his composure.  “Labor and parts are gonna be close to a thousand. I mean, might be time for an new ride man. You know, upgrade?”

“A thousand? Fuck.” Dale sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not lookin’ to upgrade right now, thank you.” He stated, not liking the notion that he could just give up on a car he’d put his heart and soul into fixing up. “Nah, it’s... I’ll get the money together, how long do you think it’ll take?” He asked. “It’s fixable, that’s what matters.” 

“i believe it’s a crime to tell me to not pet every single dog. how fucking dare you say that to me.” she spoke with overdramaticness that took over her entire being. extending her hand out to him when he asked to see the bite before letting out a scoff, “i’m not going to die from rabies, don’t be silly! i am all caught up with my shots.”

He tried Dale began to wonder that if he just threw this asshole in front of a moving car, would anyone even notice? He understood the other man was drunk off of his ass, he was still endlessly frustrating. Still, it brought a smirk to his face when he gave a little bit of a scare in threatening to drop him. “Oh, now you need me?” He teased, just wanting to hear the other man admit it. As funny as it would be to just leave the guy in the dirt, he couldn’t. “I think you are very pretty... fucking insufferable.” Dale sneered, shaking his head. “Consider yourself lucky if I don’t dump you on the side of the road somewhere.” Dale threatened, thinking about just finding a few low income neighborhoods to drive this fucker through, just to scare him. “Trixie is not a- you apologize to her!” He stated, shaking his head. “It is a beautiful name, and she is a beautiful car.” He took a breath, realizing he may as well be reasoning with a toddler. “I don’t think you’d know a halfway decent car even if I ran you over with one.” Dale threatened. When his rant once again seemed to fall on deaf ears, instead being met with a comment of thats hot, he could have sworn he was genuinely seeing red. “You’re a real fuckin piece of work.” Dale sighed, letting out a long exhale. “I need a fuckin cigarette.” He added, rubbing at his eyes for a minute. When Fiore handed his keys over Dale rolled his eyes. “I don’t even want to know.” He started, knowing this key ring probably cost more than most things he owned. “The fuckin b- the Bentley?” Dale exclaimed, looking over to the car. “You drive a fucking Bentley?” He shook his head, leading him to the other car. “Alright, get in, trust fund.”

There was an unmistakable grimace that crossed Dale’s face when Fiore teased at him. A part of him considered ruffling through his hair to show off the scar he’d earned hitting the side of an old friend’s brick porch. “Might be dumb, but at least I ain’t pretentious.” He rolled his eyes, knowing this pretty little fucker would probably take that shit as a compliment too. “You wanna crack your head on something? I can make it happen.” Dale threatened, smirking as he felt bombarded by the confusion that something about this was kind of fun. “Alright, I’m letting go!” He warned, only slightly loosening his grip on the other man before pulling him close again. “You know what I think? I think there ain’t a damn thing to you beyond fancy hair and some pretty eyes. I think you couldn’t get anywhere near world domination, because I can’t imagine there’s a single person out there who likes you enough to tolerate you for more than a night.” He shook his head, taking a breath. Fuck he should’ve just had that drink. Should’ve just thrown this guy to the wolves. “No, there won’t be. I’m bringing your ass home, that’s it.” He couldn’t imagine never leaving home again just to avoid this particular person, but he seemed to be everywhere. Of course when they got to his car it was not up to Fiore’s standard, of course it wasn’t. “Oh you did not just talk bad on Trixie.” Dale huffed. “I’ll have you know she’s a classic.” He stated, knowing full well that while Trixie was his greatest love, far more beloved to him than some douchebag. “Oh my God would you cut this I’m too good to ever be seen with a poor person crap, for five minutes, please?” He was so tired of playing nice. “I am tryin’ to help you out, keep you from gettin’ hurt, okay? Thank you. Someone keeps you from gettin’ naked in front of a big ass crowd, you say thank you.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, letting out a loud groan. “Which car is yours?” He surrendered. “Just hand me your fucking keys you glammed up demon.” 

“I cracked my skull falling off a table once, it happens, and you seem like if you as much as bruised a little bit you’d spend the next three days cryin’ about it. It’s loss prevention.” Dale told him, shaking his head. If this guy couldn’t just accept that he’d actually been helped and genuinely thank him, that was on him. He just made sure to keep a good hold on the guy so he didn’t full on hit the ground. “I ought to have left you in there.” He huffed, still feeling somewhat bad for the guy. Nobody deserved to be that messed up and on their own. “I ought to drop your ass on the ground.” He added, thinking about it, thinking about just letting go. “You know a whole lot of pretty doesn’t make up for such a god-awful personality, you know that, right?” Dale told him in a huff. “Seriously, I don’t know how anyone can stand to have a conversation with you.” He added, fumbling for his keys with his free arm once they were actually outdoors. “There most certainly won’t be.” He hoped that wasn’t true, he almost wanted to run into him again, just to rub in his face that he rescued him. “No you are not.” He stated firmly when Fiore tried to say he would drive. “if you could drive there wouldn’t be an us, I’d be dropping your ass at your car, but you can’t drive. So here we are.” He stated, stopping in front of his own car. “Get in.” He stated, needing to use his key to manually unlock the door. The Malibu was old, older than he was, but it was his pride and joy. “You know I don’t know if I should tease you for not even knowing the redneck stereotype right or if I should be honored that you think I’m rich enough to own a horse.”

Why did he have to be such a tool? Dale knew he’d found himself really drunk plenty of times and he prayed he never looked quite this embarrassing. Was this some kind of sick karma for all the times he acted a fool in his life? “Would you just get off the table?” Dale grunted as he reached for him, not about to let this other guy do something he’d really regret. “And keep your fuckin’ clothes on.” He added before the other man began topplng. It was fast, nearly instinctive, to grab for him. To get his arms around him and stop him from hurting himself. For a brief second the world seemed to stop until he realized he actually had him. And then he had to open his fucking mouth again. Dale grunted. “You were about to crack open your fucking skull.” He huffed, shaking his head as he seemed to catch his breath, looking at him and still feeling a sense of relief. However when the other declared that Dale may like him. He shook his head. “Don’t flatter yourself, I just didn’t want to deal with cops tonight.” Why was he lying? Why did he like him? “Yes, I am going to take you home now. Come on.” Dale told him, keeping an arm around him. “You can just say thank you next time, you know.” He explained as he began to lead him outside. 

“You know Dollarita’s, like at Applebees? It’s.. nevermind.” Dale began before he could actually prove Fiore right about something. “Yes I am poor and I live in a trailer park, that is all very funny. At least I don’t think myself better than anyone cuz I get manicures and thousand dollar haircuts.” Dale tugged at his hair, endlessly frustrated at this point. When Fiore began to touch his cheek Dale rolled his eyes, wondering if he could genuinely hold a mirror up to this guy, would he see how ridiculous this all was then. “I’m not here lookin after you.” He stated, though he wasn’t about to leave, not when Fiore seemed to be here alone. Stuck with him now. “Right, well, good for you, but lookin’ cute isn’t everything.” He stated, not wanting to give him the attention he was so desperately demanding. He was half-willing to walk away still, clearly this conversation wasn’t worth it, and yet he didn’t want to leave. That was until Fiore began to climb the table. Good, maybe he’d find someone else to annoy. Dale was about to pour his own drink when Fiore declared he was going to get naked. “Absolutely not!” Dale declared, shoving someone aside to grab onto the young man. “Get down. Get off the table.” He demanded, wondering if he could just pick him up. “You’re done, you’re done, you are going home.” 

Dale could not help but smirk, knowing he may be a lot of things, but he never looked this much of a mess. “Could be, though I can’t say you have much room to talk, runnin around looking like last call on a Dollarita special.” His lip twitched upwards into a smirk. “Look I got no doubt that you spent a lot of time getting ready but that don’t change the fact that you’re messy. That’s too bad, maybe if you had friends they’d tell you that you look sloppy.” Dale shook his head, trying to remind himself that it was wrong to fight drunk people. It is wrong to fight drunk people. He’d just have to get equally as hammered, though that didn’t seem easy. “Yeah, no you won’t. I’d knock your ass clean out.” Dale told him, shaking his head. He couldn’t even justify hitting this guy, knowing he probably didn’t have anywhere near a fair chance to fight back. When he began to brag about older dudes hitting on him Dale sneered. “And I’m sure you’re real proud of that.” He shook his head. “And I ain’t that much older than you!” He added. While he watched the other boy straight up pour liquor on the table Dale reached for the bottle. “No, no it did not.” He stated bluntly. “Oh would you just give that to me, homecoming queen?” He shook his head, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “You good?” 

It was a common thing he saw in Dayton, at least the damage. But not someone getting so worked up over a car. Granted Milo’s piece of shit was just something to get him from point A to B. Something just safe enough to bring his niece home in. He let his little sis have the nicer car, knowing exactly what guys thought when they saw a young pretty girl with car trouble. Not to mention one with a baby. “I don’t know what you hit or whatever but it did a number on your struts”, he confessed, wiping his hands on the towel that was once on his shoulder. “And it’s not gonna be cheap.”

Dale took a breath. Don’t make a scene, she is just a car. “Shit.” He muttered, shaking his head. “Look, the car’s older than I am, and she’s a piece of shit, she really is.” He mentioned, wanting this guy to know that he at least knew. “But I got her when I was sixteen and I... just fix it.” He rubbed at his forehead, not wanting to know what he was going to do to get the money for this yet. “I don’t even like bringin’ her in. Hate to see something I can’t fix myself.”